(II) (2002)

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10/10
My Tuna Fish Sandwich for a Screen Actors Guild Card?
stevegarsh11 December 2004
Whew! it's hard work when you're years between acting jobs. Having seen the "Kevin Simithian" comments from another "no nothing New Jersey movie critic", I dost protest! Having spent an entire Sunday afternoon honing my "Thespitorian" skills as an actor in this magnificent flick, what the H--L do you know! Hot lights, tough location, terrible commissary, I'm still waiting for the residuals, and to boot the trailers sucked, yea the one to promote the movie and the 1959 Winabago (no shower, TV, or hanger-on chick(s), but the stale Ritz crackers were a nice touch!)in the parking lot of one of New Jersey's 698 near bankrupt, "my daddy gave me the money to start a business" Comic Book stores. Silent Bob lend me your long coat to hide beneath, while inside I'll hunker down with my portable DVD player and watch 'Bars and Tone" because Director Steven O'Connell never even gave me a copy of his triumph(no, not the Comic Insult Dog!). Now I sit back in a Howard Hughsian darkened room, grow old, fail to cut what's left of my hair, and watch "Ice Station Zebra" 673,000 times till check-out time at the "actors" old age home.

Footnote: Steven (Stephen) Paul Garsh is a multi-millionaire retired "C" movie actor who will never forget his day on the set of "Rock Bottom". But alas, Stephen regrets that the Director/Producer couldn't spell his name right in the credits, or his compensation of a Tuna Fish sandwich. If the sandwich hadn't been eaten between takes it would have probably bounced anyway. Sorry Charlie.
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2/10
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
HeathenClerk9 July 2003
Well, I do salute the effort and everything and always support your local everything, but I'm sorry man, this just didn't work for me. I had difficulty navigating through the overabundant Kevin Smithy situations, dialogue, and story - I mean, even Kevin Smith being Kevin Smith is boring a lot of the time (as in, usually dialogue should help drive the story, but in his case somewhat and in your case much it was too much like me and friends hanging out; and I don't really want to watch people just hanging out and b*********g when I could be spending the time watching it actually doing it, and besides, it completely drives the story to a grinding, screeching halt). For me I needed there to be more drive, and in regards to the picture, though I understand the large costs of renting film equipment and lighting and everything, it would have been much improved with composed shots, lighting, stationary cameras (most of it was handheld and a little distracting), etc. Other than that I would say that there were also too many cultural references, and many of the intended jokes were "wink wink know what I mean know what I mean yuk-yuk," almost like having a light up "Laughter" sign on screen. The direction and acting was also a little below - rehearsing people who aren't used to acting until they know the scene like they know the back of their hand works fairly well to clear up many of those problems, plus you get a better feeling for more "natural" scene direction as the rehearsing goes on. Some things placed in it were hackneyed, like the farting, or the beer that suddenly pops up next to the car toward the end, or the seemingly endless running feet on lawn (though that also deals with editing). I hope you consider what I've said not as harsh criticism but more as constructive observations, and I would like to check out more that is going on in the local scene - maybe see some more of your work. On the other hand, this is probably a great laugh to see between you and a bunch of friends every now and then, and if that's the case, carry on.
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