Dark Harvest II: The Maize (2004) Poster

User Reviews

Review this title
40 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
1/10
Maybe if cornfield mazes scare you...
tonylaird18 February 2006
Besides the comments on the technical merits of the production, or lack thereof, the acting is absolutely horrible. What is really scary about this movie is that I actually OWN a copy of it, of course, it was in a bargain bin and had been renamed as "Dark Harvest 2", and after having seen it, I can understand why it was in the bargain bin - they should have paid me for taking it out of their inventory.

The majority of the movie, if you want to call it that, is spent by a frantic father running around a corn field maze looking for his daughters because he has a premonition that something is going to happen to them. I suspect that the camera that the girls were playing with at the beginning of the film was probably one of the production cameras for this fiasco. In the maze, he runs into the ghost of some children, which are poorly done, and the movie goes horribly south from there.

I can see why they renamed this movie, otherwise, they would never have gotten rid of them. Absolutely one of the worst movies I have ever had to sit through, and it wasn't worth the $2 I spent on it.
22 out of 22 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Run around in a cornfield for two hours! FUN!!!
cdctrumpet8 April 2006
No. Just NO. That's all that needs to be said.

Summary: A random guy is in a cornfield. For some reason, I'm not sure, but it's his duty to run around inside. The next great thriller?

A five year old could make a better movie just filming an anthill, or even just grass growing. Seriously.....

You can't say it has bad acting, because there is NO acting. You can't say it has bad writing, because it has NO writing. You can't say it has bad cinematography, because there is NO cinematography. You can't say it's a bad movie, BECAUSE THERE IS NO MOVIE! If you don't believe me, go watch it. Just don't say I never warned you.....
55 out of 59 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
I'm aMAIZEd this made it to the video store shelf
TTUCHY2 November 2005
I rented Dark Harvest (the first one) because it looked like a cheesy monster-on -the-box type of thrill ride. Scarecrows also freak me out. The movie had an effective title sequence, but what followed was pretty lame (flat, bad lighting, acting, editing, direction...). Recently, I noticed that DH 2: The Maize had a pretty extensive ad campaign. I thought maybe the first one was marginally successful, so they upped the ante on this one a bit, possibly delivering some bigger budget scares and fx from the killer scarecrows. Well, there are no scarecrows in the video... Not a problem. The problems start in DH 2 with a title sequence that looks like an unfinished concept, with strange shapes and bars wiping away titles and whatnot. As far as the actual photography... every time the sun shines in a shot, you'd have all these blown out whites, confirming that you're watching some ultra-low budget mini-DV project that some Midwesterner filmed at his Uncles farm. The acting was not acting at all. The cheap rip-off of The Shining twin girls was below freshman film student standards. The editing was extremely amateur and lazy. The sound was jarring and choppy. (e.g.- every time the editor would cut to a new shot, you'd here the sound change perspective with it). It's as if someone gathered their friends and family (actors), took a video camera out in a cornfield for three days, put a light on top of it for the night sequences (no joke - that's what they actually did), burned through some tape, stuck the footage in their computer, cut a (very) rough version, tossed in some music, bypassed any imaginative sound work or mixing, burned it directly to DVD, and threw it on the video store shelf. Any horror fan should be insulted by this type of direct to video work that is void of ANY skill or style. Just because a person owns a video camera and is able to get somewhat of an image on tape, doesn't mean it should be released to the public. If I could give this a rating lower than a ONE, I would.
44 out of 47 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Okay, look...
pizzabones7 November 2006
I couldn't even...I mean...look....okay...

Wow.

Not even a bunch of my drunk friends trying to make fun of the movie could enjoy themselves in the least bit.

I can only think...how. How do independent film makers everywhere go years without getting noticed (or even their lives) and con-artists like the guy who made this get a DVD on a shelf? It seriously looks as if some guy with a home movie camera went out with some guys he met at Subway and made the worst thing he could think of.

"Hey guys, give me some ideas. Start with a corn-field and work backwards." "Well, you've gotta have actors straight out of high school, and some broken corn stalks with shreds of clothing attached. And boobs." Thanks, guy, I'm sure that you and Windows Movie Maker will be side by side on your next anxiously awaited project.
72 out of 76 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Below the lowest expectations for a direct to Video Title
StoneGriffin19 December 2005
Only adding to the chorus of people who deemed this to be 'unredeemable' I will state the following without repeating the obvious FLAWS plainly stated by some of the other commentators: The "film" is shot on video (what type of camera I don't know) but the cameraman had it on AUTOFOCUS(!) all the time, so that any slight movement makes it go In and Out of focus. In many of the scenes the actors themselves go OUT of focus for their scenes. This alone screams "Amateur".

I also noticed that out in the 'middle of the cornfield', you can hear the sound of the gasoline generator that is powering the lights ... loudly.

Also what is with that single lighting source that follows (and many times 'leads' the actors) when they walk around. It looks like a newscaster with that 'on camera light' that follows the people around like a spotlight. There was no 'credit' for lighting design/DP and I know why. The 'filmmakers' saw no need to have someone who actually knew what they were doing lighting this picture (note I didn't say "film"). So be prepared for a SINGLE glaring spotlight as the sole source of 'cinematic lighting' for most of the movie. UGhhh!!!

This is probably the most technically inept production I've ever seen commercially released. I "bought" this title because I like bad cinema. Usually it's so bad that you can laugh at it. This is just so bad that it's unwatchable. Plan Nine from Outer Space is "Citizen Kane" in comparison to this title.
16 out of 18 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
DO NOT rent this movie.
pfang10020 August 2006
This is by far the worst ever 'horror' movie, no, make that any movie, I have ever watched. Shame on Block Buster for even carrying this type of crap. I never ask for a refund on any movie, but I think this will be a first.

The movie is so bad that I had to stop after just 15 minutes of watching it.

I had more fun watching any of the fuzzy YouTube movies than watching this piece of dropping.

The marketing dude for this movie must have some type of silver tongue to move this thing into an establishment as Blockbuster.
12 out of 13 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
It's like the real-life version of The Ring
Xyghaar8 April 2006
Warning: Spoilers
My spoiler is in my pants because thinking about this movie made me so angry I crapped myself.

Once you finish watching it, you stare at the TV set in confusion and horror. Then, there's a soft tap on your shoulder and a voice hisses, "You will die in seven days." You turn around, and one of your best friends is standing there with a look of absolute hatred for the one that suggested this movie when you were in Blockbuster.

I won't lie: this is the worst movie on the face of the Earth. I saw it with 5 of my friends all 18-year-old guys, and these were our reactions: -One person actually began crying and punching himself -One person screamed and passed out -One person stood up and staggered out the front door to reappear more than an hour later -One person simply blacked out (this one was me) -One person started babbling incoherently, as if he had both cerebral palsy and Touretts' Syndrome -One person went into a sort of catatonic trance and did not respond to our voices for more than twenty minutes

The movie really is that bad. There's one part where the retarded cameraman actually trips (while holding the camera), but the producers decided to leave it in. Seriously, you can hear him grunt and swear when he hits the ground. There's only one special effect, and it's special in the same way that a retarded kid trying to solve a Rubix Cube is special: the camera rotates so that the on-screen action (action, n. Some dumbass lost in a corn field for 80 freaking minutes) does a barrel roll.

Under NO circumstances should it be watched, and the movie itself even warns you of this fact. Do you know what the tagline on the back is? "Some warnings should not be ignored." I honestly think that the release of this movie to the public is a sick practical joke on the producers' part. That's not to say, however, that you should pass it by if you see it at the movie store - it would then sit on the shelf for some other poor sucker to see. Rather, buy every copy of it you can get your hands on and mail them to people that you hate.
11 out of 12 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Agree with other poster
lucian_13_11 December 2005
Completely agree with other review.

I watched this movie for about 5 minutes. I looked up the one review on another site and found that it wasn't even a real sequel. This was after I slowly backed away from the TV with remote in hand, jaw dropping lower and lower.

The quality of the filming is beyond low budget. It doesn't even look like a freaking movie. If I were watching 'home video' footage from a documentary I would expect it.

In summary: Avoid, avoid avoid. Boooo Lion's Gate!

Completely ashamed of myself for watching 5 minutes and I hope that I've saved others from renting or owning it.
20 out of 24 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
I would rather watch the Blair Witch Project five times than see this film again
NinjaXCV7 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
This movie was so bad I don't know where to begin, apparently neither did the filmmakers. It starts off with a guy in his mid thirties to late forties watching TV. The news tells of a corn maze that's open for Halloween. He has a "vision" of God knows what and rushes off the save his kids who are walking into a cornfield maze and are somehow linked to this "vision" How you ask? I don't know, and as I said before neither do the filmmakers. They're simply visions of people's feet. How did he get these "visions"? It's never explained, we're just supposed to go along with it. He enters the maze to find his two daughters who are lost inside, and twice the girls he's looking for walk right past him, one time they actually run into him. What does he do? Does he chase after them? No. He stands there like an idiot calling for them when they just ran past. Do the girls stop? No. They run off then ask "Was that Dad?" Then someone dressed as demon jumps on the "star" (the Dad character) he beats him up in a pathetic fight only to find out he's a worker at the haunted maze. The police are called and after finding the "star" (which is a really bad term to use) they cuff him. They cuff his hands in front of him, so that he can find something to pick the lock with, which he does. First off, anybody who's ever been arrested knows that cops cuff your hands behind your back, and secondly why does this "average guy" seem to know how to pick the lock on handcuffs? Well he eventually gets away from the cops who give up and leave after a the "star's" wife sets off the siren in the police car as a distraction. By the way, it's now night time and all the workers running the maze have seem to have left once the sun went down. Leaving a man who attacked one of their workers and two missing children in the maze. Considering it was a slow night that these are their only customers, why not. Besides the cops apparently have better things to do as well. By the way, the "star" who goes by the name of "Walker", we figure out it's his last name, a name in which his wife even calls him by. Somehow he knows there is something buried in the middle of this cornfield maze and starts digging. I say 'somehow' because I couldn't figure out why he started digging in the first place. He finds a locket, what does it mean? Nothing to anyone who watches this, but to him it's some sort of clue to a crime. Somebody killed their kids in his "vision" and I guess that's what he's going on, real detective work. And by now he knows there's a killer loose in the corn maze, one he somehow knew was there from the start of the film, which is why he's looking for his girls. Every time we see the killer, or rather the killer's feet, we hear a weird robotic sound, like a sci-fi reject toy that changes a persons voice to sound mechanical. Why do we hear this sound? Is it in anyway related to...anything? Again, who knows? Certainly not the filmmakers. The peak of all the bad acting and bad dialog was when "Walker" yells out "Hey you, Mr. Bad Man...I'm gonna get you." Another time his wife is attacked by the "Bad Man" at the entrance to the corn maze, which like I mentioned before is oddly empty of any employees or policemen. The "Bad Man" calls "Walker" on his cell phone to tell him that he plans on killing his wife and kids and him as well. "Walker" can only reply with "Hey. HEY!" before dropping his phone and running off. With no one on the other end to talk to, the killer drops his phone too, he drags the wife a few feet then leaves her alone for the rest of the film, losing the first opportunity to hold true to his treats. If this script wasn't written by a child I'd be surprised. Opps it wasn't. It was written, directed, and produced by the same guy. And not only that, he also did so much of the crappy camera work as well, where we get random shots of feet walking through the muddy maze and meaningless shots of the cornfield, that waste 90% of the film time. In the end "Walker" uses the cuffs to cuff the "Bad Man", who also seems to know how to pick locks with the same metal object that "Walker" had picked it with. Apparently there are lots of small metal objects just laying around this cornfield. But after the killer insists he's still going to kill the kids "Walker" kills the "Bad Man", and everything is right with the world again. Now in reality this makes "Walker" a murderer, he's killed a man who "Supposedly" murdered his own daughters and was trying to kill his. He knows this, not because of proof, but because of his visions. He never found a body, nobody else knows this guy was even in the maze. And the locket? He gives it back to the ghosts of the two dead girls. No proof. So he kills a man without any tangible reason. I can't imagine what the filmmakers were thinking with this one. It must have been a way to cover up a misappropriation of funds for the production company. I would rather watch the Blair Witch Project five times than see this film again. The actors should be ashamed. The director/producer/writer/cameraman should also be ashamed. In fact the entire production company should be ashamed. If there is anyone associated with this film, please reply. What were you thinking?
14 out of 16 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
This movie should have been burnt, not put on video store shelves
psumommaof25 November 2005
This is absolutely the most stupidest movie ever produced in front of a camera. I cant believe I was gullable enough to rent this piece of junk. I have seen some bad movies in my time, But this takes the cake....Ice cream ,,,, and Chips Too. Omg, I still cant get over how bad this thing was. The acting was a Joke.... The Plot was Non Exsistant..and the camera work had to be done by a 3 year old child. I have never seen a movie take so long to go Nowhere. I mean the whole movie could have been shot is less than 30 minutes. I guess this guy had some extra time on his hands.... ( Like 3 Hours. ) And an extra 60 bucks in his wallet, and decided one night...( Hey ..Lets go make the stupidest movie ever made. ) And they did just that. Give me a break.I'm heading back to the video store right now to get Demand my money back.Anyone else who has watched this piece of trash, should do the same.
37 out of 48 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Without a shadow of a doubt...
odinfire30 September 2006
This IS the worst movie I have ever seen, as well as, the worst that I will probably EVER see. I see no need to rehash what all the others have said previously, just be forewarned...

This IS NOT one of those bad movies you think you want to watch because you want to be able to make fun of it, its just plain BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD.

This movie is the equivalent to having a "pet rock" as your friend. You wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait for something to happen. Unfortunately, it never does. At least with a pet rock you knew what you were getting into. Lion's Gate completely deceives on this bombshell... No...this is a disaster. After watching this film, you would swear George W. Bush had his hands all over the making of this film... yes its that idiotic.

Stay away, unless of course you just want to watch the worst movie of all time. Its probably how Lion's Gate figured it would make some money off this piece of tripe.
25 out of 32 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
8/10
Very bad but very entertaining
andrewrrrr30 May 2020
Ive watched this one about 4 or 5 times now with different groups of friends, we've all had a great time laughing at the baffling plot and incompetent filmmaking. I wish I could find the sequel (The Maize 2, not Dark Harvest 3) so I could experience some more of this director but it's so hard to find.
2 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
could've been rated PG
joemcintosh11 September 2006
My friend Zac rented this movie free of charge since his mom works at a rental store. I still feel ripped off, since I won't ever be able to get those 100 minutes of my life back. Having watched the first "Dark Harvest" the night prior to this viewing, I expected to at least see a crappy remake of the first film. Wrong.

There isn't a single scarecrow in the movie (unless you count the one of the cover of the box), nor are there any real death scenes. The movie got its R rating from an 8 year old girl screaming "god d**n" at her father.

There is no amount of tequila that could make this movie bearable. Believe me, we tried.
6 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Jackass Walks Around in a Cornfield for an Hour and a Half
garbageboxextreme14 July 2006
After sitting through the trainwreck that was the first Dark Harvest movie, I couldn't leave bad enough alone. Upon seeing that there was a sequel (or rather what I believed to be a sequel)I had to increase my pain level. Seeing that this had nothing to do with Dark Harvest, that should have been a good thing. We didn't get any killer scarecrows in this one, instead we got a jackass walking around a cornfield screaming out little things like, "Girls!" and "Can you hear me?" every so often. Plus we got two (four if you include the two girls that the director wanted the same effect as the twins in The Shining) obnoxious little girls who couldn't act. And the cherry on top of this mess would have to be the Corn Cop. I should have known this movie was going to be terrible when the dog got an opening credit. How I managed to stay awake through this movie, I'll never know.
6 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
This is Lion's Gate's Fault.
sparkletight30 December 2005
Anyone can make a movie these days. Budget, production value, or experienced crew don't have to stop the self described "director" from "realizing their dream" these days.

Respect for the craft of film-making, or even just respect for any film aesthetic are no longer prerequisites for actually executing a film.

Director Bill Cowell must have thought he struck gold when Lion's Gate decided to market his original film as a sequel to a film he had nothing to do with.

I personally find Lion's Gate far, far more in error than Cowell in regard to Dark Harvest 2 being made available to the public. Lion's Gate's deceptive marketing of this film should be investigated by the state attorney general's office and Lion's Gate's officers should be pickled in sulfuric acid and kerosene for their utter disregard for film, film-making, and good sense.

As for the film itself, it's not even worth commenting on.
23 out of 31 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Are you kidding?
stephenmccue8921 January 2006
Warning: Spoilers
My friends and I have often joked about movies being in real-time. But this movie really is... They will literally show 4 minutes strait of nothing but a guy digging in the dirt with his hands. It has no-plot, and an incredible amount of gratuitous screaming. I honestly don't believe that it won an award for it's alleged suspense. If you are like me and saw the first film and loved it for it's horrible acting, accidentally hilarious one liners, and all-around low budget"ness", it won't matter; this is so bad it's bad memories might even rub off and taint any good memories you have of the original. You would be more entertained if you were staring at a blank screen.
8 out of 9 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Worst movie of all time, if you even consider it a movie
panthers280518 November 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Just above the box i am typing in now, i was required to pick a number between 1 and 10, and rate this feature film. Unfortunately there is no option for a number less than zero, and i have to put something. If i had my choice i would just put nothing, no number, because there exist no digits that express the worthlessness of this movie.

If you do decide to watch this film even after reading all of these horrible reviews, make sure there are no sharp or blunt objects in the area, this will help prevent you from trying to kill yourself in the middle of the film.

I don't know how this film was released to the public, it should be locked up and guarded 24/7 somewhere in Fort Knox. I am angry that this film was even available for me to watch. I feel cheated by humanity, i had no idea humans could be this cruel. Stalin, Saddam and Hitler got nothing on this douche bag Cowell.

Do not be fooled by the movie's cover. 1) There are no scarecrows, no one knows why there is a legit looking scarecrow on the front. 2)None of the characters on the back of case are even in the stinking movie! 3) The tag line says something about "new moon, more victims", there were no frigging victims no one even died. We don't know if the dam cop died, and i'm assuming the killer didn't die because it sounded like he was being hit over the head with a frigging whiffle ball bat.

Do yourself a favor and stay away from this movie, it wasted about 4 hours of my life. That's right four, it took an hour for me to watch it (i fast forwarded thru the 4 minute zooming scenes that reveal nothing in the plot), i stared at the television for about an hour after it was over, contemplating my life and the direction it was heading after watching this crap, and then i began to cry for the next two hours because i know someone out there will unfortunately see this movie and there is nothing i can do to stop it.
7 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Very terrible
Red-Barracuda1 June 2009
What can be said about THIS? Truly one of the most mind-numbing experiences of my life. Your brain will attempt to shut-down as part of a primal impulse of self-preservation. I was left shattered from the experience of watching this 'film' and I took a good two hours to fully recover. This movie now joins Revenge of the Boogeyman and Zombiez as part of the hellish trinity of horror films. I certainly do not mean this distinction in a good way. I mean this in a terrible way. A terrible way.

This film has no redeeming features. Everything is appalling. Artless camera-work endlessly presents us with the ugliest setting imaginable, i.e. lots of corn, lots of mud. The story is beyond stupid. The script is…was there a script? The villain is severely unscary and wears yellow wellington boots. The kids are annoying. The lead man is charisma-free. And it has the audacity to go on for 100 minutes. Utterly without merit on any level, this is akin to torture. Normally such a statement would be an exaggeration meant for comical effect. Not in this case. I'll even say it again – this is torture.

At the end I was in a state of paralysis. This was brief thankfully. But once I recovered I decided I had to watch the 'Making Of' featurette. I had to understand. Maybe there would be a reasonable explanation for this atrocity. Was it all an elaborate joke? I watched the first 2 minutes of the 'Making Of' featurette and discovered that the writer/director was, to put it mildly, somewhat misguided. I also discovered that because I had taken time out to watch the first two minutes of the 'Making Of' featurette of Dark Harvest 2 that I was an idiot. Not a pleasant voyage of self-discovery. Life sucks.

Highly unrecommended.
4 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
A-MAIZE-ingly Bad!
ghoulieguru27 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Well, shuck me sideways. I haven't seen a home movie this bad since the abysmal 13 SECONDS or HALF CASTE. Someone should take away this guy's Sony Handycam! This movie proves that just because you can make a movie on your camcorder for $20, doesn't necessarily mean you should.

I remember that one of the things that Robert Rodriguez wrote in his book, "Rebel Without a Crew" was that when you set out to make a no budget feature, you have to use whatever assets you have at your disposal. Rodriguez says that you should take an inventory of all the locations and props that you can beg, steal and borrow from your friends. Robert Rodriquez was friends with the Mayor of some town in Mexico, so the Mayor let him shoot all over for free. What you got in EL MARIACHI was a movie that looked like it cost much more than the actual budget.

I'm sure that the director of this movie has a copy of that book, and he took that advice to heart. In this case, he was apparently friends with a guy who owned a cornfield where they put on a haunted house every year. Seems like a pretty good location for a scary movie, but it's hard to keep a cornfield interesting for 90 minutes. Not a single installment of the CHILDREN OF THE CORN series spent more than a few minutes in the cornfield. Hitchcock only spent about ten minutes in one in NORTH BY NORTHWEST. Take a hint, fella... cornfields don't make for riveting cinema. It would have been good if the director would have had more friends with more locations, because this thing gets pretty tedious after the first 15 minutes. This movie looks like it cost about $30. (or whatever it cost in admission to the cornfield maze).

Apparently he couldn't even find anyone to act in his movie, so he cast himself. Big mistake. Here's a thought, if you really want to make a movie, get an actor. So, as far as assets go, it seems like the cornfield maze is the only thing the poor guy had. Maybe he thought that was enough. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I KNOW he thought that was enough because the movie, before it captured the coveted honor of being the sequel to DARK HARVEST, was called simply THE MAIZE: THE MOVIE. Maybe this he's already planning THE MAIZE: THE MUSICAL or even THE MAIZE: THE MINI-SERIES.

Our Jack-Of-All-Trades (and yes, the Master of Nothing part of that saying is definitely appropriate here) plays a psychic dad who can tell when bad things are going to happen. Think of the character from the DEAD ZONE, but not anywhere near as good an actor as Christopher Walken or even Anthony Michael Hall. Psychic Dad has a premonition that his two daughters, who are at the corn maze with mom, are going to be killed. He rushes to save them. From that point on, the whole movie is spent watching Pyschic Dad run around in a cornfield, looking for his two daughters. He finds the two little girl ghosts from THE SHINING, and he helps solve the mystery of their murder.

Shot on a $200 Handycam. The director cast himself. Edited on iMovie. Improvised story. If that's not enough to keep you away from this a-maize-ingly corny catastrophe, consider this as a final warning... The WHOLE MOVIE takes place in a cornfield, boils and ghouls. Here's Ghoulie Guru's tip on how to save some money and still feel like you've seen this movie. Next time you see a cornfield, stop the car. Take a flashlight and go run around in there for like 90 minutes.
6 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
My brain feels like scrambled eggs after watching this.
Zbigniew_Krycsiwiki19 October 2012
Two little girls run and scream endlessly through a corn maze in upstate New York, while their father chases after them, calling their names endlessly.

And that's it.

That is the extent of the plot of this 100-minutes-long home movie.

Seriously.

My brain feels like scrambled eggs after watching this, and my ears are still ringing from all of the girls' high-pitched wailing, as they clop through puddles and meander about in this maze. And this unwatchable, nearly unreviewable, in-name-only "sequel" to the nearly equally abysmal Dark Harvest even has its own sequel? They couldn't even keep the Iphone focused in this film, why is there a sequel? Does the cameraman's shadow appear on-screen as often in that film as it does in this one? It is visible so many times here, that it could probably have gotten a credit in the film, and on IMDb.

Don't waste your time, the only good thing about this is the creepy looking scarecrow on the front of the DVD box, which unfortunately has nothing to do with the "film" itself.

Not that this matters, but the title should be spelt The Maze, not "maize". Maize means corn. Maze means a labyrinthine series of passageways, which would fit the movie more appropriately. Or, better still, this should just be called, The Suck.
3 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
So much corn!
jake-17920 April 2011
I am ashamed to even be writing a review of this "movie" because it means I admit that I watched it. I didn't actually watch it, though, I mostly just fast-forwarded through it. And the only reason I came in to contact with this piece of crap is because my friend DJ (Donnyzona) sent the DVD to me as a joke and insisted I watch it.

This is not a "movie." It is just some home video of a guy walking around in a corn field. The guy in the field is the same moron who actually made this garbage, Bill Cowell. Looks like somebody gave Bill an old fashioned standard definition cam corder from the late 1980's and he decided he would shoot a bunch of video and call it a movie.

Bill Cowell is an idiot. He didn't even bother to get a high def camera. I mean, Best Buy doesn't even SELL standard definition cameras anymore! He has NO sense of film making or story telling. He does not have a light kit, much less a reflector. And it appears to me that he used an old fashioned Video Toaster to "edit" this piece of crap together. I say that because he repeatedly uses the old picture-in-picture function that the Toaster had. This only adds to the amateurish nature of this home video.

Now let me tell you in case you are wondering, the majority of this video is just Bill Cowell walking around in a corn field yelling, "Hey where are you? Can you hear me? Answer me please." That is THE MAJORITY of the video and I am NOT KIDDING. The run time on this disaster is over 100 minutes and most of those minutes are as described above. I kept fast forwarding and then playing a little to check, and it just kept going like that. I really couldn't believe it.

The real offender here is Lions Gate. They are the ones who distributed this. Are they really that desperate for material to distribute? If so, I have some old video I shot with my old handy cam of me and my friends walking around Fremont Street here in Las Vegas. They could just pay me whatever they paid Bill Cowell and release my unedited footage as "Dark Harvest 4" or whatever. It would probably be better than this pile of trash.

If you come across any of these DVD's, pick them up and put them in the garbage where they belong. This would be the same as throwing away an old beer can, or that annoying plastic bag that blew in to your yard, or an old cereal box. It is just garbage, that's all. Throw it away, do not watch it. Absolute crap.
3 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
This movie is the finest i've ever seen
ds538416 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
The movie starts out with some awesome acting in the very beginning with 3 kids trick or treating, which also supports my theory that it was filmed, produced, and burned in less than 1 month. Nevertheless this movie is far superior to the film "titanic" i think it would have out grossed the entire star wars series if it had been released in theaters. If you love intense action, superior sound and amazingly incredible camera tricks (such as the spinning 360 and the 360 barrel roll when you realize that you aren't watching the worst excuse for a movie with the lowest budget in motion picture history) then Dark Harvest 2; The Maize, is your show. If you love to be scared by cornfields in the daytime, combines, guys in yellow boots wielding black pipes, and a guy walking through a cornfield for the better part of 90 minutes, look no further fella, Dark Harvest 2: The Maize is here. The acting is some of the best i've ever seen there is a part towards the beginning where the one of the girls screams into the camera for about 5 minutes. Needless to say i was terrified. If you thought the grudge was scary or the ring you haven't seen anything yet. Just when you thought this action packed ride was coming to a close they show cows being milked. I almost soiled my underwear. This movie really takes you on a roller-coaster of emotions at first you are sort of shocked by the gratuitous use of the f word then you are horrified when you see the footage of a cornfield in the day and they even use a red light in some scenes. At first you want to watch it in the dark but when they superimpose the footage of our hero walking through a cornfield on to more footage of cornfield walking you have to turn on the light. Beware there is even some hole digging and i don't know about you but hole digging is up there with being burned alive on my list. This movie could really have used some nudity i think that most people that see this movie would agree that it couldn't be any better unless his wife would have showed her boobies.
11 out of 28 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Worse than at least 97 of the Bottom 100 on IMDb.
planktonrules5 June 2012
This is a straight to video release--and it appears to have been made using a VHS camcorder. I love how the film is often out of focus and has a VERY slow zoom--which means the equipment was way out of date even back in 2004. I love how there are completely random and cruddy looking edits. I love how some of the camera-work through the corn maze causes motion sickness in the viewer! I love how every trick and gizmo on the camera is used--even if there is no rational reason for it! The bottom line is that any yahoo with no talent could have filmed this...and apparently one did. In fact, it really looks like someone's home movies.

As for the story, I couldn't really discern much of one. It takes place around a corn maze but WHAT was happening and why...?! Mostly, it's just random running about and yelling. The acting is strictly the kids and friends of the filmmaker--with as much talent as you'd expect from people who in a home movie! The bottom line is that this looks FAR less professional than the movies of Ed Wood or even Tommy Wiseau's "The Room"! At least in some strange way they could be seen as movies or at least attempts at movies. "The Maize" is just home video and nothing more. While the film is currently #47 on IMDb's dubious Bottom 100 list, this seems like a travesty, as in comparison, at least 97 of the films on the list look more professional. It should be #1 or #2.
3 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Fail
TheMadHatter-860-53291214 October 2010
I couldn't help but laugh when I seen this film is on the bottom 100. I thought I was the only person who had been fooled into thinking this was an actual movie, not just a guy walking around a cornfield for two hours. The only reason I picked this movie from off the shelf at the video store a few years back was the pretty sweet scarecrow on the cover. Obviously they spent all their money on the image of the DVD box rather than the actual film. Not only did watching it feel like a lobotomy, guess what, it didn't feature ANY scarecrows. I want to know how this movie managed to make its way into any video store. No, actually I want to know who actually thought this would make for a good film at all? Do you think the director actually thought this was something more than a steaming pile of crap when he reviewed it?
3 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
It's almost all padding.
jimevarts5 October 2012
This movie is really a showcase for the director/writer/star Bill Cowell to film himself walking around in a corn maze. He showed it so many ways! Shaky cam, side angles, crane shots, zoom, foot level, and even one time, the camera did an Immelmann! Granted, there is one hilarious moment where the killer clubs the main character's wife (see the "memorable quotations" section). Other than that, it's about 90 minutes of corn maze broken up by some digging.

Some fun things to notice: 1. Cowell re-uses some of the shots several times. 2. It's so dark that Shy (yes, that's really his name) needs a flashlight, but he actually uses camera light to see quite a bit of the time. Clever way to extend battery lift. 3. His wife has the patience of Job. She waits what appears to be like six hours while he runs around in the maze, comes out, runs back in, etc. If it were me, I would have just gone home after about three hours. 4. Shy works harder, not smarter. Almost any method of finding his daughters would have been be more efficient than randomly running around for hours. OK, so there's supposedly a supernatural force keeping him from finding them, but I think that's a stupid man's excuse. 5. Several times, the main character can hear his daughters, but he can't get to them even though the only thing between them is 20 feet of corn stalk. Other times he just runs through the corn stalks. He's got the memory of a goldfish. 6. Almost the only deviation from the corn maze running is when the main character stops to dig for a looooooong time. He really likes digging. Why is he digging for long periods of time when his daughters might be killed any moment? Curiosity.
3 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
An error has occured. Please try again.

See also

Awards | FAQ | User Ratings | External Reviews | Metacritic Reviews


Recently Viewed