Lucille Ball: Lucy Ricardo

Quotes 

• Lucy Ricardo : How'd you know all that stuff?

  Ricky Ricardo : Who do you think you married, some country pumpkin?

• Lucy Ricardo : If Ricky had been on that show he would've won $300, $100 for every question.

  Ethel Mertz : Gosh, three brand new clean, crisp, green, one hundred dollar bills.

  Lucy Ricardo : Is that how you're seeing it? I'm picturing it as pennies and I'm running through them in my bare feet.

• Lucy Ricardo : [Ricky finds out they're going on the radio program]  I didn't know you were faking, I thought you were some kind of overgrown Cuban quiz kid.

• Ricky Ricardo : They taught American History in Cuba too.

  Lucy Ricardo : Well apparently they taught you better. I do all I can to remember there's 46 states.

  Ethel Mertz : 48.

  Lucy Ricardo : Oh yeah, I must've forgotten Alaska and Hawaii.

• Lucy Ricardo : Ricky, wait a minute, let's not watch television tonight.

  Ricky Ricardo , Ethel Mertz , Fred Mertz : [Ricky, Fred, and Ethel shout in unison]  Not watch television!

  Ricky Ricardo : What else is there to do?

  Lucy Ricardo : Well, whatever happened to that game we used to play before television was invented? It was called "conversation."

  Ethel Mertz : Oh, yeah. How'd that go?

  Lucy Ricardo : You know, the four of us used to just sit around all evening and talk. Nothing so unusual about it. In millions of homes all over the country people were having the same kinds of conversations we were having.

  Fred Mertz : Yeah, that's why television was invented!

• Freddy Fillmore : Freddy: What is the name of the animal that fastens itself to you and drains you of your blood?

  Lucy Ricardo : Lucy: The Collector of Internal Revenue.

  Freddy Fillmore : Freddy: What is a senator's term of office?

  Lucy Ricardo : Lucy: The sap runs every two years.

  Freddy Fillmore : Freddy: Why did the French people put Marie Antoinette under the sharp blade of the guillotine?

  Lucy Ricardo : Lucy: To scrape the barnacles off her hull.