I Love Lucy (TV Series)

Return Home from Europe (1956)

Desi Arnaz: Ricky Ricardo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lucy Ricardo : [Lucy is going through the mail forwarded to the American Express office]  Here's a telegram for you.

  Ricky Ricardo : How do you like that! A telegram, and she forwards it in the regular mail. It takes three weeks to get here. Only your mother would think of...

  Lucy Ricardo : [Ricky opens the telegram, and lapses into angry Spanish]  Honey, is it important?

  Ricky Ricardo : Oh, no. Only the managing director of the Roxy Theatre in New York, and he wants me to open there with my band for two weeks starting next Monday, that's all.

  Lucy Ricardo : [Ricky decides they have to fly home instead of going by ship]  Hey, this is exciting. We're going to fly across the ocean.

  Ricky Ricardo : Who said you were going to?

  Lucy Ricardo : What do you mean?

  Ricky Ricardo : I may leave you right here in Europe.

  Lucy Ricardo : I didn't do anything.

  Ricky Ricardo : Your mother did, and she inherits it from you.

• Ricky Ricardo : Where is the cheese?

  Ethel Mertz : We ate it.

  Customs Officer : You and Mrs. Ricardo ate 25 pounds of cheese? Come on.

  Fred Mertz : Oh, it's possible. I've seen my wife sit down and polish off a whole...

  Ethel Mertz : Oh shut up.

• Ricky Ricardo : I am not the father of that cheese!

• Lucy Ricardo : [Ricky explains that anything over the 66 pound luggage limit will cost $2 per pound on the plane, so everything but clothes and luggage has to go by boat]  All right. But there's one thing I have to take with me for sure. That cheese.

  Ricky Ricardo : That cheese?

  Lucy Ricardo : Yes, now don't argue with me. You can't get that kind of cheese at home.

  Ricky Ricardo : [Ricky picks up the cheese]  Are you kiddin'? This thing must weigh 66 pounds by itself.

  Lucy Ricardo : No, it's only 25 pounds. That's a very rare kind of Italian cheese, and I... and I promised to bring it home for a very special person.

  Ricky Ricardo : And who is this very special person?

  Lucy Ricardo : Someone we all know and love... my mother.

  Ricky Ricardo : [outraged]  Your WHAT?

  Lucy Ricardo : My mother. And she's a who, not a what.

  Ricky Ricardo : Now look, Lucy. Your mother has already cost me a fortune. And I'm not going to spend one more penny on that big hunk of cheese!