I Love Lucy (TV Series)

Staten Island Ferry (1956)

Vivian Vance: Ethel Mertz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lucy Ricardo : We're depending on you to be our guide in Germany. Have you been studying your German?

  Fred Mertz : Jawohl, Fräulein.

  Lucy Ricardo : Hey, that's wonderful.

  Fred Mertz : Geben, uh, sie mie, uh, ein Stein Würzburger.

  Lucy Ricardo : Oh, great! What does that mean?

  Ethel Mertz : What do you think it means? Gimme a glass of beer.

  Lucy Ricardo : Is that all he's learned?

  Ethel Mertz : Nope. He's learned how to order nine different kinds of beer. Oh, we're gonna have an interesting time in Germany.

• Passport Clerk : [the clerk makes it clear he won't wait for Lucy to arrive to identify Ethel for her passport]  This office closes at 5:00, if I have to eject you forcibly.

  Ethel Mertz : You just try it. I'm a tax-paying citizen. I'll report you to Washington, and then you'll see how long you hold this job.

  Passport Clerk : This is a civil-service job. If you want to get me fired, you'll have to wait 'til I die.

• Fred Mertz : [seeing their passport pictures for the first time]  Let me see yours, Hon. Hey, that's pretty good of you.

  Ethel Mertz : That's you!

  Fred Mertz : [Ethel and Lucy get their pictures, and scream together]  Let me see that one of you. Hey, that looks more like me than the one of me does!

  Ethel Mertz : You wanna trade?

• Ethel Mertz : You'd think with your own photographer and 50 different poses a piece, we would've gotten at least one good picture.

  Lucy Ricardo : I just don't understand it. This is the same photographer that took our wedding pictures 15 years ago and we looked great. Well I guess they're just not making cameras like they used to.

  Ethel Mertz : Hey, I just had a horrible thought.

  Lucy Ricardo : What?

  Ethel Mertz : Maybe we really look like this.

  Lucy Ricardo : Bite your tongue.

• Passport Clerk : Passport photo.

  Ethel Mertz : Yes sir... now don't laugh.

  Passport Clerk : Madam, I've been looking at passport photos all my life. Never one that has made me hee hee hee hee ho ho ho ho ho ho.