The Lucy Show (TV Series)

Lucy Gets Jack Benny's Account (1967)

Lucille Ball: Lucy Carmichael

Quotes 

• Lucy Carmichael : [Lucy and Mr. Mooney are trying to think of someone to endorse their bank]  How about the Maharajah of Beverly Hills?

  Theodore J. Mooney : Who?

  Lucy Carmichael : Jack Benny!

  Theodore J. Mooney : Jack Benny?

  Lucy Carmichael : Sure! Everybody knows that Jack Benny doesn't trust banks. He keeps all his money in his house. If we could get his business we could get everyone else's business!

  Theodore J. Mooney : If we could get Jack Benny's business, we wouldn't need anyone else's business!

• [a school of fish devour a leg of beef in one of Lucy's traps] 

  Jack Benny : What happened?

  Lucy Carmichael : Piranha fish.

  Jack Benny : Piranha fish? Why, what a picnic they'd have with Jackie Gleason. You know, by the time he could say, 'And away we go,' he'd be gone.

• Jack Benny : Oh boy, this quicksand is the cleverest idea I've ever heard!

  Lucy Carmichael : I'm glad you like it. You know, I think it's even better than your shark-filled moat.

  Jack Benny : And cheaper! You don't have to feed them.