Pie in the Sky (TV Series)

The Truth Will Out (1994)

Ashley Russell: John

Quotes 

• Henry Crabbe : [reading a menu]  Wild duck pancake in a cherry sauce. You know, this menu was written by a deeply disturbed person.

  John : Are you ready to order, madam?

  P.C. Cambridge : Um, I'll just have the goat's cheese and grapefruit salad, thank you.

  John : One Hawaiian salad. And for you, sir?

  Henry Crabbe : Uh, the um, the plaice fillets in brandy and mustard sauce. Is there any chance I could have the plaice minus the sauce, fascinating as that sounds?

  John : No, I'm afraid that wouldn't be possible, sir.

  Henry Crabbe : But all you've got to do is ask the chef not to put any sauce on the unfortunate fish.

  John : The meals are precooked, sir, boil-in-the-bag. All the chef has to do is to microwave them and snip open the bags. Even that's beyond him half the time.

• John : This omelette. It's um... I don't know, different. I can't explain it.

  P.C. Cambridge : It's the Crabbe Effect.

  John : What's that?

  P.C. Cambridge : It's what happens when normally rational, articulate people eat his food. They get a faraway look in their eyes and start rambling.