Unhappily Ever After (TV Series)

The Bigger They Are, the Harder They Fall (1995)

Kevin Connolly: Ryan Malloy

Quotes 

• Tiffany Malloy : [opening front door, stilted tone]  Ah, the man who didn't want kids.

  Jack Malloy : [coming inside, closing door]  So, your Mom told you about that, huh? Did she also tell you that she didn't want them either?

  Tiffany Malloy : Ah, she said you'd say that.

  Jack Malloy : Mm. What else did she say?

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh, not much. But I guess that instead of naming me Tiffany, it should have been Zales. Don't take this wrong, I love you and everything, but I would never settle for anyone like you.

  [shaking her head] 

  Jack Malloy : You know, that would be a sweet Father's Day card.

  Tiffany Malloy : Daddy, you love me! You wouldn't want me stuck with someone like you.

  [smirks] 

  Tiffany Malloy : I don't even want a college boy or even a med student.

  [confidentially:] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Too chancy. What if he were to kill someone in the operating table, who's the big loser there? Me!

  [sighs] 

  Jack Malloy : You know, you're going to make quite the little catch.

  Tiffany Malloy : Yeah,

  [flittering with her hair] 

  Tiffany Malloy : I know, aren't I?

  [adding coldly:] 

  Tiffany Malloy : By the way, what are you doing here?

  Jack Malloy : Came to see the kids.

  Tiffany Malloy : [untouched]  Oh, cool.

  Jack Malloy : So, how are you?

  Tiffany Malloy : Fine. And you?

  Jack Malloy : Fine.

  Tiffany Malloy : Good.

  [puffs her cheeks in exasperation] 

  Tiffany Malloy : Ryan, your turn!

  [leaves] 

  Ryan Malloy : [putting on a smile]  Hi, Dad!

  Jack Malloy : Hi, how are you?

  Ryan Malloy : Fine. Ross, your turn!