M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Margaret's Engagement (1976)

Alan Alda: Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce

Photos 

Quotes 

• Frank Burns : Listen, Pierce, why don't you and I go out on the town tonight, hmm?

  Hawkeye : Well, this is so sudden, Frank, I don't have anything to wear.

  Frank Burns : Well, I mean, get a couple of nurses, go over to Rosie's bar, have a little fun.

  Hawkeye : Sounds good to me.

  Frank Burns : There's this little redheaded nurse who's had her eye on me. And tonight her wish will come true.

  Margaret : Do you mean that new girl with the freckles on her nose?

  Frank Burns : Yes, that's the one.

  Margaret : She's a little young for you, isn't she, Major Burns?

  Frank Burns : Oh, I don't know. I thought a little youth might be nice for a change.

• [listening in on Frank's conversation with his mom] 

  Hawkeye : He's crying.

  Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Catharsis.

  Hawkeye : Gesundheit.

  Col. Sherman T. Potter : Phone call couldn't have come at a better time, Radar.

  Hawkeye : Nice work, Radar.

  Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Thanks. I figured sometimes a guy's just gotta talk to his mom.

• Margaret : Since when have you ever given two hoots about Frank Burns?

  Hawkeye : It's only one hoot. I just started.

  Margaret : You've given him a few swift kicks yourself.

  Hawkeye : Yeah, but never when he was down. Only when he wasn't looking.

• Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : The convoy just took a direct hit.

  Margaret : [miffed]  If you'll excuse me, I'll just go finish my letter.

  Hawkeye : You need any help holding up your pen?

  Frank Burns : We got her on that one, didn't we?

  [He, Hawkeye and B.J. laugh] 

• Frank Burns : You disgust me!

  Hawkeye : You're right! I disgust you. I discussed you with everyone you know and they all think you're disgusting.