Labor Pains (2009)
Lindsay Lohan: Thea Clayhill
Photos
Quotes
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Lisa DePardo : It smells like something died in here.
Thea Clayhill : It did... my soul.
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Greg : You know, I find it fascinating that Kristin is only a month further along than you, and yet she's the size of a school bus while you're still over here looking like Kate Moss.
Thea Clayhill : Uh, different strokes, I guess.
Greg : Perhaps it's easier to feel the bump than to see it.
[reaches for Thea's stomach, Lisa swats at his hand]
Greg : What's the big deal? Everyone likes to touch a pregnant stomach.
Lisa DePardo : Because you're a gross weirdo, Greg.
Thea Clayhill : And the baby doesn't like gross weirdos, Greg!
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Thea Clayhill : I look rediculous. These jeans are elastic on the top. I feel like I'm wearing a condom on my stomach.
Lisa DePardo : Trust me, you don't look like you've been anywhere NEAR a condom.
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Thea Clayhill : Do you think he'll ever forgive me?
Lisa DePardo : Do you want me to be honest? Or do you want me to make you feel better?
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Greg : Congratulations, Thea.
Thea Clayhill : Thank you, Greg.
Greg : You really think you can get to the top by playing games, don't cha? I know what you're up to, Thea. And I think that it stinks. It super stinks.
Lisa DePardo : Hm.
Thea Clayhill : Well, really? Do you think that it stinks that I wanna hire you to be my assistant?
Greg : Really?
Thea Clayhill : You'll start first thing Monday after I put the paperwork through.
Greg : Oh wow, Thea. Thea, thank you so much. I- I could kiss you right now.
Thea Clayhill : You don't have to do that.
Greg : I'll see you later, boss.
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Thea Clayhill : He's actually kinda cute, though. Don't ya think?
Lisa DePardo : Who?
Thea Clayhill : Um... Nick.
Lisa DePardo : Um... No.
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Emma Clayhill : What is THAT?
[seeing Thea's pregnant stomach for the first time]
Thea Clayhill : Just because you don't like my dress doesn't mean you have to be rude.
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Nick : [Thea kisses Nick] I've been wanting to do that for a really long time now.
Thea Clayhill : Actually, I did that.
Nick : Right.
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Lisa DePardo : Pregnant. It's brilliant. Where'd you come up with that?
Thea Clayhill : Oh, I saw it on an episode of Law and Order. Yeah, you can't fire a pregnant women. Discrimination, lawsuits, bad mojo... whatever.
Lisa DePardo : Smart.
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Thea Clayhill : ...No, I didn't finish college.
Nick : Oh, why not? Too boring? Not 'Joan Jett' enough for you?
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Thea Clayhill : [Thea cleans Greg's glasses and puts them back on him] I hope you don't mind. I just couldn't take it anymore.
Nick : Oh wow. Wow, I can see. Oh my god, Thea. I don't know if you know this but y- you're pregnant.
Thea Clayhill : Your sense of humor really takes a dive after 9 o'clock, huh?
Nick : Is it after nine?
Thea Clayhill : Yea.
Nick : Oh my god. I'm slave-driving a pregnant woman.
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Kristin : I don't know what to do. I mean, this was Dan's idea. He was all like, "Let's have a baby. It'll be so cute." You know? I was like, "Really? Really? Well, let's strap 50 pounds of cement to YOUR torso and see how fun it is then!" You know, I just...
Thea Clayhill : Yeah, I know. I understand.
Kristin : I just need a drink. Or some weed.
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Thea Clayhill : yes i know i mean im trying not to fart righ now.
