How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Old King Clancy (2009)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted Mosby : Good morning, lying bastards. Anything you want to lie about before I head off to work to get fired?

  Barney Stinson : That's a nice shirt.

  Ted Mosby : You're the Devil.

• Ted Mosby : I don't believe it. I just got screwed by my two best friends, and I didn't even know it.

  Lily Aldrin : In Canada, that's called a Sneaky Snowplow.

• Ted Mosby : Now when I go in there, I'm probably going to be fired. Best case scenario, my boss is going to ream me out in front of everybody.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Back home we call that a...

  Lily Aldrin : ...a Saskatoon Totem Pole. It's all in here.

• Ted Mosby : All right, I'm going to head upstairs and keep working. I got to find a way to introduce some wood into Bilson's dark atrium.

  [pause] 

  Ted Mosby : You know what I meant.

• Barney Stinson : So how'd it all go down between you and Bilson?

  Ted Mosby : Well, after he proposed a vocational paradigm shift, I made an impromptu presentation using a four-pronged approach that really brought him to his knees.

  Barney Stinson : Hit him with a chair?

  Ted Mosby : Yep.

  Barney Stinson : That's my boy.

• Ted Mosby : What is an E.T.R.?

  Barney Stinson : It's an Employee Transition Room

  Ted Mosby : What does that mean?

  Barney Stinson : Well, it's a space where a supervisor and an employee engage in a knowledge transfer about an impending vocational paradigm shift.

  Marshall Eriksen : People get fired here

• Narrator : In the spring of 2009 I'd been hired to design a new headquarters for Goliath National Bank. And I was eager to add as much of my voices as an architect into the plan as possible.

  Ted Mosby : Woodbeams bathed in natural light in the atrium. They're gonna love it!

  Narrator : There was only one problem and his name was Bilson.

  Bilson : Wood? Natural light? Oh, no! Natural light reminds employees that there is an outside world where they have family and friends. We want to crush that! You arrive in the dark, you come home in the dark. You spend your whole damn day in the dark!

  Marshall Eriksen : I need to hear Lily's voice.