House M.D. (TV Series)

Not Cancer (2008)

Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Gregory House : How many friends do you have?

  Lucas Douglas : Seventeen.

  Dr. Gregory House : Seriously? Do you have a list?

  Lucas Douglas : No, I knew this conversation was really about you, so I just gave you an answer so you could get back to your train of thought.

• Dr. Eric Foreman : We need to remove the eye.

  Dr. Gregory House : It's her only working eye.

  Dr. Eric Foreman : We could remove the other one, but since it's not killing her, I thought this way was less insane.

• Dr. Gregory House : Brain's clean. Moving on.

  Dr. Remy Hadley : To where? We've gone from making no sense to making less sense and then taking a step backward.

• Dr. Gregory House : What did Wilson do for me?

  Dr. Chris Taub : [ignores House]  If the donor had an infection that somehow slipped by a screening, it could lay dormant...

  Dr. Lawrence Kutner : Five organ systems hit. Would need five infections for it to somehow slip by screening.

  Dr. Gregory House : Oh, sure, he made me laugh on a rainy day, made me see the colors I never knew...

  Dr. Remy Hadley : None of the donated organs were hit. Means whatever they got came from the donor's blood.

  Dr. Lawrence Kutner : That wouldn't help us narrow down what...

  Dr. Remy Hadley : It narrows down who. Corneal transplants are bloodless. It means Apple's gonna be fine.

  Dr. Eric Foreman : You secure enough in that theory to send her home?

  Dr. Remy Hadley : I guess we could wait till we figure out what's wrong with Frank.

  Dr. Gregory House : On the other hand, Gilbert Gottfried makes me laugh. And how many colors are there really? Once you got red, blue and green...

  Dr. Lawrence Kutner : He paid for your lunch, liked monster trucks and was your conscience.

• Dr. Eric Foreman : [to House]  You need it to be cancer so you have an excuse to talk to Wilson.

  Dr. Gregory House : Give me something else that explains this constellation of patients, then you can call me an ass.

  Dr. Eric Foreman : I didn't call you an ass.

• Lucas Douglas : [to House]  You're supposed to trust friends.

  Dr. Gregory House : I don't know the guy. I got no logical reason...

  Lucas Douglas : To be his friend? Have you never seen an after-school special? That is part of the pleasure of friendship: trusting without absolute evidence and then being rewarded for that trust.

  Dr. Gregory House : You're taking pictures of a guy who's having an affair with his own sister and you're lecturing me about the rewards of trust.

  Lucas Douglas : There are two types of people that hire me. No, actually, there are three types of people that hire me, but the third type's irrelevant to the point I want to make.

  Dr. Gregory House : Do you have a special rate plan for being a pain in the ass?

• Apple : I was practically blind before the transplant: 20/200 vision.

  Dr. Gregory House : Didn't you cover all this personal stuff with Dr. Foreman?

  Apple : You don't care who I used to be?

  Dr. Gregory House : You're a post-corneal transplant math teacher. I deduced that you were a blind math teacher.

  Apple : I was an architect.

  Dr. Gregory House : You gave up architecture after you could see?

  Apple : The world was ugly. You think the world would be any different if your leg was fine?

  Dr. Gregory House : No.

  Apple : Think you'd be any different if your leg was fine? I mean, the doctors told me that my life was gonna be so much better once I could see. I would date, I would dance, but, uh... the guys I hated dancing with before, I hated dancing with after. My parents were still dead. I was still alone.

  Dr. Gregory House : You're fun.

• Dr. Gregory House : [to Lucas]  You're a P.I. who can't lie?

  Lucas Douglas : I can lie. I'm just not all that good at it.