House M.D. (TV Series)

Not Cancer (2008)

Michael Weston: Lucas Douglas

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Gregory House : How many friends do you have?

  Lucas Douglas : Seventeen.

  Dr. Gregory House : Seriously? Do you have a list?

  Lucas Douglas : No, I knew this conversation was really about you, so I just gave you an answer so you could get back to your train of thought.

• Lucas Douglas : Only two things you ignore: things that aren't unimportant and things you wish weren't important. And wishing never works.

• Dr. Chris Taub : Cancer made no sense. The head and heart make less than no sense.

  Lucas Douglas : That makes no sense.

  Dr. Chris Taub : I know. I was making a point.

  Lucas Douglas : Oh, good. I thought you were an idiot.

  Dr. Chris Taub : Why are you talking?

  Lucas Douglas : Oh, the guy doing manual labor can't have an opinion? I might be a genius who just happens to have a passion for fixing coffee machines. No, I'm obviously not, but that's rude to make assumptions about people.

• Lucas Douglas : [to House]  You're supposed to trust friends.

  Dr. Gregory House : I don't know the guy. I got no logical reason...

  Lucas Douglas : To be his friend? Have you never seen an after-school special? That is part of the pleasure of friendship: trusting without absolute evidence and then being rewarded for that trust.

  Dr. Gregory House : You're taking pictures of a guy who's having an affair with his own sister and you're lecturing me about the rewards of trust.

  Lucas Douglas : There are two types of people that hire me. No, actually, there are three types of people that hire me, but the third type's irrelevant to the point I want to make.

  Dr. Gregory House : Do you have a special rate plan for being a pain in the ass?

• Dr. Gregory House : [to Lucas]  You're a P.I. who can't lie?

  Lucas Douglas : I can lie. I'm just not all that good at it.