The Cleveland Show (TV Series)

Field of Streams (2010)

Mike Henry: Cleveland Brown, Rallo Tubbs

Quotes 

• Cleveland Brown : Hey Junior, what are you watching? The Cleveland Show?

• Cleveland Brown : What are you doing up there?

  Cleveland Brown Jr. : Larry the Leopard told me to climb the bookcase.

  Cleveland Brown : You're 14!

• Cleveland Brown : Hey, Wally, this school needs a baseball team.

  Principal Wally Farquhare : Can't afford it. Not with the popularity of the math club and the Fluffers, my a cappella singing group.

  Cleveland Brown : What if I could raise the money before the season starts?

  Principal Wally Farquhare : Why not? I'd love to see you raise five grand in a week.

  Cleveland Brown : Thank you.

  Principal Wally Farquhare : I meant that sarcastically.

  Cleveland Brown : Oh, well, then screw you.

  Principal Wally Farquhare : Thank you.

  Cleveland Brown : What?

  Principal Wally Farquhare : You said "screw me." I take that to mean you're attracted to me.

  Cleveland Brown : I'm gonna walk away now. Bye-bye.

• Holt Richter : Love baseball. Love pound cake more. These cakes got nuts in them?

  Cleveland Brown : No.

  Holt Richter : Not allergic. Don't want nuts in my mouth. This guy gets it. This guy'll get it later.

  Rallo Tubbs : Homophobia's no laughing matter. Although, if you really think about what they do to each other, it is kind of funny. I don't know how they're not giggling the entire time.

• Donna Tubbs : [to Cleveland]  When are you going to realize that this isn't about you? This is about your son and appreciating what he's good at.

  Cleveland Brown : Well, listen to Dr. Phylicia Rashad.

  Donna Tubbs : I told you never to mention that name in this house. I'm gonna kill you, Phylicia Rashad. I'm gonna kill you.

• Principal Wally Farquhare : [to Cleveland Jr]  Go back to your dad, you chubby loser.

  Cleveland Brown : Nobody calls my fat son a chubby loser.

• Terry Kimple : [to Cleveland]  Hey, you want a cold one?

  Cleveland Brown : Does Amy Winehouse pick at her skin a lot?

• Cleveland Brown : [as he looks at the school baseball field]  Look at this place. The bleachers are covered with racist, occasionally hilarious graffiti. I'm surprised the team can even play on this mess.

  Terry Kimple : Oh, no. There is no team. When Wally became principal, he disbanded the baseball program.

  Cleveland Brown : Disbanded the team? But baseball's our slowly dying national pastime.

• Coach MacFall : [to Cleveland's baseball team]  All right, gentlemen. Before you get on that field, I want you to remember two things: One, you're all great baseball players. Two, overweight divorcees are an easy lay.

• Coach MacFall : [to Cleveland]  You gotta give your son something from your past to inspire him. Like when my dad let me nail his third wife. He cheered me on from the closet. Her name was Maureen. Looked like a really hot Dick Nixon. Make baseball your hot Dick Nixon, Cleveland.

• Cleveland Brown : [to Cleveland Jr]  I got something I want you to have.

  [gives him his old baseball jersey] 

  Cleveland Brown Jr. : Wow. Number nine. I thought when you left, they retired it for good.

  Cleveland Brown : I'm Brett Favre-ing it except I'm not being a public jagoff about it.