Portlandia (TV Series)

Farm (2011)

Carrie Brownstein: Various

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Cult leader Aliki is on his deathbed saying goodbye to his followers] 

  Aliki : My beautiful Peter.

  [Peter gazes sorrowfully at Aliki] 

  Aliki : I'm gonna miss touching my Peter... washing my Peter...

  Peter : I'm gonna miss you.

  Aliki : [turning to Nance]  Nance.

  [Nance sniffles sadly] 

  Aliki : You can be a real bitch.

  Nance : [weepily]  Please don't go.

  Aliki : Nance, you're being a bitch.

  [Nance nods, still sniffling] 

  Aliki : Okay? It's so bitchy of you to ask me to stay. I gotta go.

  [Nance shakes her head no] 

  Aliki : Tell me to go.

  [Nance more intensely shakes her head no] 

  Aliki : Don't be a bitch, Nance.

  Nance : [weepily]  Go. Go.

  Aliki : Thank you, Nance.

  [Nance nods] 

  Aliki : For dialing your bitch down a little bit.

  [Nance nods] 

  Aliki : It means a lot to me.

  [turning to followers he doesn't know by name] 

  Aliki : You three? You're nice people, I'm sure.

  [closes his eyes and commences death rattle] 

  Nance : [shaking her head no, whispering through tears]  Do not go.

  Aliki : [snaps out of it and looks at Nance]  You're being a dumb bitch.

  [resumes death rattle] 

• [last lines] 

  Peter : [hurrying back in]  Hey, Dana, do you still work here?

  Waitress : Hi.

  Peter : Hi, how are you. Ya, we actually decided against the chicken. We're gonna do the salmon. Thanks.

  Waitress : Okay...

  [starts to walk away] 

  Nance : Hey, you know what. Can you tell us a little about the salmon.

  Peter : Yeah, we have like a million questions about it.

  Waitress : Okay.

  Peter : When you come back.

  [Peter and Nance kiss]