Family Guy (TV Series)

Seahorse Seashell Party (2011)

Seth Green: Chris Griffin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chris Griffin : Look, Meg, I don't know what your problem is. I thought Dad's humming was pretty entertaining.

  Meg Griffin : You know what? This is what I'm talking about. This is a perfect example. You're my brother. You're supposed to be on my side, and you're such a bastard to me

  Chris Griffin : HOW AM I A BASTARD?

  Meg Griffin : Oh, you want the whole story?

  Lois Griffin : Meg, please.

  Meg Griffin : Not now, Mom.

  Peter Griffin : [giggles]  I think Brian's getting a little water in there.

  Meg Griffin : Chris, you treat me like you hate me, and I don't know why. You say hurtful things to me constantly. Do you have any idea what that feels like? What if I said those things to you? What if I started calling you a fat, zitty loser, who has no friends and smells like an old woman who has birds for pets?

  Peter Griffin : [giggles]  Still drinkin'.

  Meg Griffin : Is it too much to ask to be treated with a little decency from my brother? Maybe show me some kind of kindness by not jumping on the "Let's-Get-Meg" family bandwagon?

  [Brian's lapping stops] 

  Peter Griffin : [disappointed]  Aw.

• Peter Griffin : Oh, hey, I got an idea. Let's have a sing-a-long. Okay, I'm gonna sing the opening chase music from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Feel free to join in.

  [Indiana Jones score plays on his cell phone and Peter hums along until Meg opens a soda can/] 

  Peter Griffin : Dammit, Meg! Will you stop that? That is so annoying!

  Meg Griffin : Oh that was annoying? What about your stupid, obnoxious humming?

  Lois Griffin : Meg, don't talk to your father like that!

  Chris Griffin : Yeah, shut up, Meg.

  Meg Griffin : No! You shut up, Chris! I am sick of all you guys ganging up on me! You guys all think you're so much better than me!

• Meg Griffin : Have either of you guys been listening to me? Do you both just have your heads up your asses?

  Chris Griffin : Dad did. Look he has crap on his ear.

  Peter Griffin : That's unrelated.

  Lois Griffin : Chris, I don't like that language.

  Chris Griffin : Well, I don't like your cooking!

  Lois Griffin : Well, I don't like having to literally empty the farts out of your pockets whenever I do your laundry!

  Chris Griffin : You're the one who's always cooking Brussels sprouts and broccoli! It's like an Irish bar fight down there!

  [cutaway to a piece of broccoli and a Brussels sprout fighting] 

• Chris Griffin : WHY DON'T WE EVER GET ANY GOOD FOOD?

  Peter Griffin : Yeah, Bonnie gives Joe wonder bread.

  Lois Griffin : Well, then go live at Bonnie's house! Then I could finally sleep in and not have to answer your stupid questions at 5 a.m.!

  Peter Griffin : My curiosity peaks in the morning!

  Chris Griffin : You eat all my Dannon yogurts!

  Peter Griffin : I don't see your name on 'em!

  Chris Griffin : You don't even like 'em, but you know I do, and you don't want me to have 'em!

  Lois Griffin : You know, I've never confronted you on it, but I've often thought the same thing, Peter

  Meg Griffin : Yeah, that's exactly what he does, 'cause he's a selfish, fat idiot!

  Peter Griffin : You shut up! All of youse!

  [runs upstairs, and then turns to the family with tears in his eyes] 

  Peter Griffin : I didn't ask to be in this family!

  Lois Griffin : [sighs]  I'll go get him.

  [picks up Stewie] 

  Lois Griffin : Peter, you come back here!

  Chris Griffin : [shouting at Meg]  I faked all my orgasms!