Himself - Host: [to the camera, in a southern accent] hello my name is "Seth Galifianakis", I'm filling in filling in for my brother Zach because he couldn't be here today because he's at an adult fat camp, my guest today is a famous actor and a humanitarian, please welcome Sean Penn
Himself - Host: thank you, Sean, for being on the show
Sean Penn: you're very welcome
Himself - Host: [looking at his notes] Zach wrote something here, I don't understand, he said you have a twin brother? And he wanted me to say how's your brother "ballpoint"?
Sean Penn: hmmm
Himself - Host: oh, that's funny, it's like the guy's name is "ballpoint" and your last name's Penn, I bet you get that a lot when people say " hey, it'd be funny if your name was "felt", like "felt Penn", is your first name "Silvania"?
Sean Penn: [unamused] yup
Himself - Host: usually I don't think my brother's that much funny but I gotta give him some credit because that's a pretty good spoof
Sean Penn: [unamused] mmm
Himself - Host: who is the "true" movie star of our time right now?
Himself - Host: you know, I guess the one who's sort of has "it" all, like Jack Nicholson...
Himself - Host: [interrupts him] Ryan Reynolds?
Himself - Host: Ryan Reynolds is...?
Himself - Host: [interrupts him] Van Wilder
Sean Penn: I think I saw him in something
Himself - Host: Jack Nicholson is that crazy guy that sits at the Lakers games, you hang out with him?
Sean Penn: sometimes
Himself - Host: where do you guys like to eat? y'all go to Long John Silvers or something fancy like that?
Sean Penn: [exhales]
Himself - Host: it'd be fun if maybe you and I and Jack Nickless" went to dinner and stuff, and I could tell him some of my movie ideas?
Sean Penn: [unamused] uh huh
Himself - Host: I have a pug and my pug's name is Funnions and I made this captains hat for him and I put it right on his head and his crazy looking, when people see him they're like "that pug needs to be in the movies, he's got a captains hat on him, and you know you just take the dog and put him in a movie and be like a taxi driver or something like that and people be like "why would there be a pug with a captains hat be a taxi driver in New York City?
Sean Penn: [sarcastically, looking down] you might have something there...