Turtle Hill, Brooklyn (2013) User Reviews

Mildly interesting

[etiennestories · 5/10 · 3 November 2017]

I can certainly give this film an 'E' for effort, although by the time it was over, I found myself wondering why I'd bothered. The answer is that there are so few really good gay films out there, that I wanted to give it a chance. And perhaps, I kept hoping that it would get better as the party progressed.

For some reason, the film made me think of that old classic 'Boys in the Band', although it was neither as good nor as dramatic as that particular conic gay film.

The people in attendance at Will's birthday party were all too believable, and reminded me why as a gay man, I don't particularly like most gay people, especially those portrayed on film.

Other than Will, there weren't even any especially good-looking men in the cast. Will had a nice body, but was apparently too lazy to shave. I would certainly like to see the actor in another film, and given more material with which to work.

There's something wrong with the pace but everything else is good

[aharon-izraeli · 7/10 · 5 September 2020]

I think that a lot of reviewers were very hard on this movie. Sure, it's no classic but there are a lot of real drinkers out there and this isn't one of them. The acting here is very good and it's filmed well but there's something wrong with the pace of the piece, maybe editing. Some of the characters could have been a bit more rounded and Mateo and Will are never seen in any form of blissful relationship, so when it goes belly up we really aren't that invested. It could have been better, but god knows, it could have been much worse. Both leads are cute and relateable, that's what saves this from being a terrible movie... I gave it 7 stars.

Like a Slice of Not Too Interesting Real Life

[meaninglessbark · 4/10 · 15 May 2016]

Turtle Hill is well crafted, well acted, and looks good. If you're looking for a realistic (sort of) yet not particularly interesting queer film it's a good choice. It's also a good choice if you want the feeling of dropping in on a group of believable friends for an afternoon. But if you're looking for something memorable, skip it.

The main problem with Turtle Hill is that when it comes to telling a story it's too much like real life. There really isn't a plot other that it's some guy's birthday (I just finished watching it and can't recall any character's name), people drop in, drink, talk, drink, talk. Some very mild relationship drama also happens. The movie ends.

Turtle Hill does break with reality by having the typical movie/TV set up of generally good looking people (though all of them more realistically good looking than TV actors) of apparently independent means living in a very cool NYC (Brooklyn) apartment.

The film makers deserve credit for having a few middle aged gay male characters among the party guests, avoiding gratuitous nudity, making the apartment and party look cool but not glamorously so, and picking some interesting yet pretty much unknown music for the soundtrack (and apparently loading most of the tracks up on the Internet's most popular video site for your listening pleasure).

Turtle Hill is a good effort and unlike many pointless queer films I actually wish I liked this one better.

Slice of life...that isn't!

[qui_j · 2/10 · 29 May 2020]

Always a good rule of thumb to never watch films where the writers are also in the starring roles. They are usually very disappointing. This film is no exception. It's a bit of low budget rubbish that seems to operate on the belief that everyone's life is a story. There's no story here at all. The films is a slow paced pile of rubbish. Don't waste time on it at all!

Just a quiet birthday party in Brooklyn

[Red-125 · 8/10 · 20 October 2012]

Turtle Hill, Brooklyn (2011) was directed by Ryan Gielen. It was co-written by its two stars, Brian W. Seibert and Ricardo Valdez.

The movie takes place on a hot summer's day in the home of Will (Siebert) and Mateo (Valdez). They are preparing for Will's 30th birthday party. Of course, they have to get the house ready for their guests, but they also have to try to figure out why they are not the happy, loving couple they want to be.

Will's sister arrives unexpectedly, and finds Mateo dressed only in a kilt. She is astonished and horrified to realize that her brother is in a gay relationship. Big problem number one--Will has told Mateo that he has come out to his family, but clearly he hasn't. Big problem number two is a secret that Mateo has kept from Bill. That secret is revealed as the party progresses.

The acting in the movie is excellent. Friends--straight and gay--arrive, liquor and conversation are flowing, and everything appears to be as it should be. We know that there's a serious underlying tension between the two men, but this isn't obvious to most of their friends.

This movie was filmed, of necessity, with a low budget. Because of this, the set is simply the couple's house and back yard. Without even any establishing shots to show us where we are, that situation is somewhat claustrophobic. (It's possible that Gielen didn't show us the street on which the house was located because he didn't have permission to do this. Or, it's possible that the neighborhood of "Turtle Hill" doesn't exist. I've never heard of it, although possibly it's been renamed, along with so many other NYC neighborhoods.)

It wasn't really a great party, and it wasn't really a great film, but the movie had its moments, and its charm, and it's worth seeing if it's readily available. We saw it in the Little Theatre as part of the noteworthy ImageOut--the Rochester LGBT Film and Video Festival.

Was Afraid It Was Going to Be the Classic Low Budget Awful Gay Movie...and I Was Very Pleasantly Surprised!

[bgthomaswriter · 8/10 · 12 April 2016]

Well...I was worried at first because of the film/lighting quality…and I wound up loving this little movie! Very soon—and this is a first for me— the "low" quality became a "character" in the film for me and I thought it worked brilliantly. It made it so real. The whole movie felt real and it almost seemed at times that I was a voyeur, somehow invisible the very real people in this story. It was like it was happening as I was watching. The dialogue was so real and I have to wonder if some of it was stream of consciousness writing. As if maybe some of the actors were given free reign to just talk at the big party that was the setting for the movie. And almost all of the actors were terrific, with only two falling short as far as I was concerned, and I am not even going to say their names. Why bother? And Will, the star and co-writer, was incredible as well as gorgeous. I am going to find more of his movies. I just kept thinking over and over, this is real. Not just the classic movie were a ton of people show up and deliver lines. These guys felt real. It had a few of the classic tropes—and at the risk of giving spoilers—there is the evil straight relative that thinks the hero of the story isn't normal and needs to be fixed, a cheating lover, fear of commitment—but there is a reason those tropes exist. They work. And in this case, they are often a part of life, gay or otherwise. In the end, while this movie was a "gay" movie, this was simply a movie about people. And I loved it.

A fine film that deals ....

[cekadah · 8/10 · 4 April 2021]

... with age, a relationship that may be a bit on the rocks, coming out to family, a birthday on a beautiful summer day, and friends gathering to celebrate this birthday.

Director: Ryan Gielen and Writers: Brian W. Seibert, Ricardo Valdez keep this rather complex story confined in the Brooklyn apartment but, you the viewer, find yourself feeling as if you are there with this group of friends and you don't want to leave. It's fun and dramatic.

My only problem with the story was the tension between Will and Mateo. They seem well suited for one another but something is missing in their relationship and it was never really made clear. Even after Mateo apologizes to Will for his one night stand.