Supernatural (TV Series)

How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters (2011)

Jensen Ackles: Dean Winchester

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bobby Singer : I never could get you little grubs to pull a trigger on a single deer.

  Dean Winchester : Talking about Bambi, man.

  Bobby Singer : You don't shoot Bambi, jackass. You shoot Bambi's mother.

• Dean Winchester : I think you pissed off my sandwich.

• Bobby Singer : What the hell's a Glamper?

  Dean Winchester : Sam?

  Sam Winchester : High-end camper. TV, A.C., Wi-Fi. Back to nature, zero inconvenience.

  Bobby Singer : [This idea seems to morally offend him]  That's idiotic.

• Dean Winchester : Well, looks like we found Phil.

  Ranger Rick Evans : [Arrives at scene]  Special agents. Listen, I got your call. But I'm not sure I got what you were saying.

  [Dean points to body in tree] 

  Ranger Rick Evans : Hey. I think we found Phil.

  Dean Winchester : That's what I said.

• Bobby Singer : There's something wrong with you, Dean.

  Dean Winchester : Are you kidding? I'm fine!

  [Scoffs] 

  Dean Winchester : I actually feel great. The best I've felt in a couple months. Cass? Black goo? I don't even care anymore. And you know what's even better? I don't care that I don't care.

• Sam Winchester : [about the Jersey Devil]  Some accounts gave it bat wings, others horns, a tail. And, uh, oh, yeah, a horse's head.

  Dean Winchester : The sketch looks more like a Chewbacca head.

  Bobby Singer : Sounds kind of mixed-up.

  Dean Winchester : Yeah, kind of like it should be fighting a Japanese robot.

• Bobby Singer : Damn thing is eating Rick.

  Dean Winchester : Man, I liked Rick.

• Sam Winchester : You think the world wants to end?

  Dean Winchester : I think that if we didn't take its belt and all its pens away each year that, yeah, the whole enchilada woulda offed itself already.

• Bobby Singer : What the hell did you get?

  Dean Winchester : New Pepperjack Turducken' Slammer -- limited time only.

  Bobby Singer : [Eyes the sandwich]  Bunch of birds shoved up inside each other.

  [Shakes head] 

  Bobby Singer : Shouldn't play God like that.

  Dean Winchester : Hey, don't look at me sideways from that -- that Chinese chicken geezer salad there, okay? This is awesome. Like the perfect storm of your top-three edible birds.

• Dean Winchester : Remember when Crowley kept going on about hating Dick? I thought he was just being general.

• Dean Winchester : Hey! Uh, Brandon, can we grab a booth?

  Brandon : Hey, douchewad, a hostess will seat you. Do I look like a freaking hostess?

  Dean Winchester : ...Do you want to look like a hostess?

  [Brandon storms off] 

  Sam Winchester : That didn't really make sense, what you said.

• Dean Winchester : Our quality of life is crap. We got purgatory's least wanted everywhere, and we're on our third "the world's screwed" issue in, what, three years?

• Sam Winchester : Did he seem a little, uh, stoned to you?

  Dean Winchester : Ranger Rick? Yeah. Definitely growing his own on the back 40 and smoking all the profits.

• Sam Winchester : Dean. So, what do you think?

  Dean Winchester : I'm not that worried about it.

  Bobby Singer : Excuse me?

  Dean Winchester : Well, that's funny, right? I could give two shakes of a rat's ass.

  [Thinks] 

  Dean Winchester : Is that right? Do rats shake their ass, or is it something else?

• Sam Winchester : Okay, so whatever turned Gerry Browder into a pumpkin head; and is currently turning Dean into an idiot...

  Dean Winchester : I'm right here. Right here.

  Bobby Singer : ...Is in the turducken slammer at Biggerson's.

  Dean Winchester : [Looks at the goop coming out of his sandwich]  If I wasn't so chilled out right now, I would puke.

• Dean Winchester : Bobby, don't go all Sigmund Freud on me right now, okay? I just got drugged by a sandwich.

• Bobby Singer : I want to talk about your new party line.

  Dean Winchester : Party? What are you talking about? I don't even vote.

• Bobby Singer : I've seen a lot of hunters live and die. You're starting to talk like one of the dead ones, Dean.

  Dean Winchester : No, I'm talking the way a person talks when they've had it, when they can't figure out why they used to think all this mattered.

  Bobby Singer : Oh, you poor, sorry... You're not a person.

  Dean Winchester : Thanks.

  Bobby Singer : Come on, now. You tried to hang it up and be a person with Lisa and Ben. And now here you are with a mean old coot and a van full of guns. That ain't person behavior, son. You're a hunter, meaning you're whatever the job you're doing today.

• Sam Winchester : It only took one bullet to bring it down.

  Dean Winchester : And not even a silver bullet, just a bullet-bullet.

  [Boogey jumps back up, they shoot it several times, it dies] 

  Bobby Singer : First one must have just stunned it.