Long Live the Dead (2013) User Reviews

Lackluster horror anthology clunker

[Woodyanders · 3/10 · 12 June 2014]

Offering up five zombie-themed horror stories told from a female point of view, this omnibus outing sounds promising on paper. Unfortunately, the distaff sensibility found herein primarily entails a teeming surplus of tedious and highly irritating squabbling amongst a bunch of excruciatingly shrill, shallow, and bitchy women. The first tale "Dweezle" gets things off to a cruddy start: Dull and talky, this one has insipid characters, tacky CGI blood, zero tension, and a limp and predictable climax. The second segment "A Picture To Die For" rates as a slight improvement thanks to the gorgeous black and white cinematography and spooky cemetery setting, but once again the routine plot stops it from scoring a bull's eye. The third yarn "Black Bone Woods" suffers from tiresome bickering and unlikable characters, yet overall sizes up as an okay affair because of a decent plot twist and a reasonable amount of suspense. The fourth story "Zoe Dies in the Mind" ain't much to get excited about: Yet again the by-the-numbers predictable narrative and the two obnoxious main characters doom this honey to mediocrity. Only the fifth and final tale "Here Lies Bub" manages to make a favorable impression: Tense and moody, this one benefits from strong acting, tolerable characters, a gripping central dilemma, and an uncompromisingly grim and even poignant ending. The fact that the zombies look like guys in hokey rubber dimestore Halloween masks certainly doesn't help matters any. The alarming lack of a wraparound story counts as another significant flaw; there's no connective narrative tissue to provide a sense of much-needed cohesion and continuity. A real wash-out.

STAYING IN IS THE NEW GOING OUT

[nogodnomasters · 4/10 · 16 May 2019]

The film consists of five shorts that total 92 minutes involving zombies. The segments star females who prove that even they can't overcome low budget and bad sound. The episodes had glimmers of cleverness, but couldn't capitalize on it to make it entertaining. Erica Rhodes gave us a very animated and interesting performance that would be better used in theater than on screen.

Interesting but not a barn burner.

Guide: F-bomb. No sex or nudity.

Lackluster Zombie Tales

[jjturley · 2/10 · 18 June 2021]

Here is a "collection" of five different stories involving zombies. However, on closer inspection it would appear to be one story told five times slightly differently.

Here is the premise (no spoilers): We have a couple of very attractive young women yapping away about something, maybe their makeup or boyfriends. They have shrill voices. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, a zombie appears! Yikes, what are we going to do now?

Okay, so this is horror-comedy, which is fine in my book. It is also very low budget which I have nothing against except when it shows. And here, it is glowing red!

I was definitely entertained, though I would not likely watch it again. No special effects and also no nudity/profanity. This is something you could show the younger set.