After School Massacre (2014) User Reviews

The teacher's aide has a cold chin

[Groverdox · 3/10 · 21 December 2017]

For about the first thirty minutes of "After School Massacre", I kept thinking that it was like watching a porno without the sex. The line readings are stilted and awkward, the sound is poorly recorded and echoey, and the direction is almost non-existant. Every now and then the filmmakers seem to realise they are supposed to cut occasionally; this happens so seldom in the movie's opening act that it's surprising when it does. The echo on the soundtrack provides a hint that scenes at the beginning of the movie supposedly set in a teachers' lounge were obviously filmed on a breezy set.

Anyway, they move to a house where the inevitable killings start to happen, but that doesn't really matter. The movie exists to show girls in their underwear. It must have had a laughably low budget, so at least they were able to get some attractive actresses for that money who were willing to disrobe... part of the way. If you're looking for nudity, you'll be disappointed. I remember only a couple of nipples on screen, one at a time.

The plot is something to do with a teacher's aide who apparently has received a friend request from one of his students - but has not accepted it. Somehow having heard about this, the dean of students fires the teacher's aide. Not only did he not even accept the friend request, but the dean couldn't have possibly known it was sent in the first place, unless he also works as an admin for Facebook. But since when is merely receiving a friend request from a student grounds for termination? The students should just send friend requests to all the teachers they don't like, and watch them disappear.

The teacher's aide goes crazy and starts killing, but you knew that already. In this case you can almost see where he's coming from.

The action moves to a house where a group of girls are having a slumber party. They all seem too old for such things, but never mind. From this point on (and we're only at about the five minute mark) the girls onscreen will mostly only be wearing their underwear.

Struggling to think of things to say that sets this one apart from the (perhaps literally endless) number of other low budget slashers, one thing did occur to me: the kill scenes in this movie are perhaps the worst I've ever seen. They are just so lame, I can only assume that the budget went to acquiring hot girls and didn't leave any money for gore effects.

There is a character that all the girls hate because he is an obnoxious jerk... and yet he still ends up getting some alone time with at least a couple of them. This character is the only one in the movie who made the slightest impression on me, because he is so irritating. Characters who are disliked by a coterie of hot girls are usually an easy way for a film to generate some sympathy. Hell, even "Meatballs 4" managed a sympathetic goof. "After School Massacre"'s version of this character, however, is someone we share the girls' distaste for, and that's not a good thing.

None of the said girls register with personalities of their own. You can only tell them apart because they wear different panties.

One scene actually seemed to revel in this lameness and have fun with it, which featured a curling iron, something I don't think I've ever seen used as a weapon in a movie before.

The ending to the movie also comes out of nowhere and doesn't really conclude anything. I just suddenly found myself watching the bizarre credits sequence, which includes a weird sort of quasi-rap song with all the actresses dancing around, still clad in their underwear, but no longer murdered. They rap/sing something to do with "fruit on the belly", and... er... I'm just at a loss to try to explain that.

One other thing sticks out about this movie, not that I'll remember it much longer... and that's the killer's mask, which is easily the lamest I've seen in a movie. It's a ski mask which for some reason doesn't even cover his whole face: it leaves his chin exposed. I found myself wondering if they did that to make his voice more audible when he's wearing the mask.

Or maybe the filmmaker's mother had to knit the mask for the movie because they didn't have enough money in the budget to buy one from a thrift store, and she didn't finish making the mask in time before the movie was due to start shooting?

Maybe?

My Review Of "After School Massacre"

[ASouthernHorrorFan · 3/10 · 26 September 2014]

"After School Massacre" is a modern throwback to the classic slasher film.The story is a simple slice 'n' dice, hot young girls meet the psycho killer that focus more on tits and ass soaked in blood than actual story. In the film, a teacher who walks the line between perv prone to inappropriate behavior and educator becomes obsessed with a student, flips out and goes on a killing spree after being suspended/fired (it depends what part of the story mentions that point), and one by one slaughters the group of teen girls.

"After School Massacre" doesn't hold up to the classic 80's slashers that it desperately tries to imitate. Jared Masters creates - a decent enough concept, young girls at a slumber party face the masked killer- yet in executing this vision focuses more on Spice channel shenanigans that substance. The characters are so far removed from any authenticity that fantasy characters seem realistic in comparison.

"After School Massacre" is a low budget slasher so production value is on the cheap-which doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing-a lot of cheap films have had quality product emerge as a result. However with this film there was too much attention spent in asinine character relationship dynamics and not enough time spent on building a strong story, or recognizable characters. The acting is amateurish and two dimensional. It sucks because a few moments in the film show real promise of what this film could have been with more care taken to bring this story to life.

The special effects and soundtrack are the saving grace and only proof that is had a horror ancestor attached at some point. Again it is a low budget film so we aren't talking award winning stuff here, but Masters and the FX department use classic stylizing, and practical measures to give us gore and blood that isn't CGI and actually work. In those moments "After School Massacre" rises up to more than mimic the classic slasher. The soundtrack is hip, relevant, with creepy VHS era sound effects balancing out the atmosphere and at times elevating the scene to real horror status. So kudos on that front!

Overall "After School Massacre" disappointed me. It felt more like a project contrived to get young girls to take their clothes off on camera without being softcore porn. The story is weak, looses continuity throughout, and filled with fluff but no reward. This film works more toward the fetish crowd than the true slasher fan base with ridiculous dialog that goes no where, adds no value, and only serves to prove that most guys are pervs hoping to see girl-on- girl action. Still the deaths scenes are worth a scan through- although the word "blood spatter" should have been thrown out there in kill scene discussions for the actual scenes that needed it. And there are a few in here that needed it. The film ends on a weird note that doesn't really finish the film but doesn't actually herald in a reason for a sequel either. Check "After School Massacre" out if you really want to but don't expect much.

This Movie Does Not Care, and Neither Should We.

[miahstro · 1/10 · 12 January 2015]

I've been watching slasher movies since the mid '90s, and I have 'never' been this irritated with what I was seeing. The best way to describe my feelings toward this movie is simple: I felt like I got trolled by somebody who hates slasher fans. There is no way this is a legitimate effort.

Normally I only like discussing acting in slasher movies when it's somewhat impressive, because let's face it, with these commonly low budgets it's going to be close to impossible to buy skilled actors. With "After School Massacre," the bizarre nature of 'this' level of acting is where the 'only' horror lies. This is the worst acting I have ever seen. Not only that, the acting leads us nowhere! There's no payoff for suffering through this bizarre acting and limp script. The only explanation for somebody signing off on work like this is that it was an all-out assault on all the things I hold dear when it comes to movies.

The kills, the story, the killer, the comedy, the sex, the nudity, the music, they were 'all' equally as terrible as this bizarre acting. That has to be some kind of record.

I've been hustled a few times in my life, but buying into this premise is by far the most painful duping I have ever received.

Go BACK to school before making another film

[afishcalledsid · 5 March 2015]

The sets are lacking, the acting chops are SORELY lacking and originality is not to be found anywhere. There are some cute women in the cast, but libidinous male viewers shouldn't get their hopes up; the "skin factor" is limited and nowhere near sufficient to make it worthwhile watching this debacle. The kills are so unconvincing as to be comical, the role of law enforcement depicted with a childlike simplicity, meaning gore and suspense fans will also find the film quite disappointing. I am the most patient of movie viewers, but I ended up skimming through most of the film on 4x fast forward after watching the first 25-30 minutes. Too lousy a film to even come close to the "so bad it's good" classification. AVOID!

Fruit on my belly. Not cool, bro.

[kimheniadis · 1/10 · 15 January 2016]

There is no reason to watch this movie. None of the actors stood out as even being half- way decent. The music was from a 70's porn. And at any moment it felt like this movie would turn into a porn, but it never took that step.

The kill scenes were lacking. Half of the time it was like a romance book where you know they are going to have sex, but then the next sentence is them waking up the next morning…

You knew they were getting killed, but you just saw the bloody body after. Plus they were just standard kills; choking, stabbing with scissors. The most original was a curling iron being shoved down a throat.

And the reason the killer was killing was just lame.

What's sad is that if you're reading this...

[MrGKB · 1/10 · 10 December 2015]

...you very likely already wasted a small but still significant portion of your life (think of all the more rewarding things you could have done in that 73-minute running time--the mind boggles!) watching this stinker; perhaps only forty minutes or so if you wisely put fast-forward to liberal use. Really, the other three (as of this writing and likely far into the future) reviews here have covered the bases well: horrible script, lifeless dialogue, indifferent direction, predominantly horrendous acting from the bulk of an obviously unpaid cast (I could spot maybe three who might have been seduced with some sort of nominal day rate), and production values a mere step above desperation. And the music. Oh, boy, the music.

Some of the linked external reviews are stunningly kind, undoubtedly written by sycophants and fellow travelers. Ignore them. Even the redemptive powers of nubile bodies cannot rescue this pitiful mess; "After School Massacre" is almost painful viewing. Let's just put it this way: when the killer gets no credits listing, something is wrong; when the truth of the matter is that he doesn't deserve any listing, you know things are very, very wrong. And when a film this amateurish has the nerve to claim itself "in memory of Edward D. Wood, Jr.," you know that things have gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Do not watch. You have been warned. There are very good reasons that pap like this is available free on YouTube. I just gave you a few. Others here have done the same. Listen to us, I beg you. Don't be one of those poor fools who had to read this *after* you burned off 73 minutes you'll never, ever get back. You will end up with fruit on your belly, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

The worst G rated Porn you ever watched

[rveggie · 1/10 · 14 March 2016]

This movie is awful from start to whenever you quit because there is no way you are going to watch the whole thing. The movie starts with a girl babbling to her boyfriend over the phone in a voice that sounds like she is drowning before she ODs on Advil in the span of five minutes. For me, it ended with the girls talking about two homicides like it was yesterday's gossip. Maybe we should start a new trend to see who can get the farthest into this movie before dropping out. People like dare trends, especially ones where they see others in pain.

When I first saw this movie, I figured it might be a good way to pass the time, maybe get a few laughs in at how bad it was. I didn't get past the first 20 minutes of the movie before I had to quit watching out of fear of falling victim to cancer. I expected it to be bad, but enjoyable like Sharknado and Rubber. This Movie was more cancerous than watching a Jersey shore marathon with Justin Bieber music playing at full blast in the background.

This movie was rated G on the site where I watched it but should have been rated R for really bad acting. I understand the budget was only 40,000 but dang, scoop up a hustler pretending to be homeless on your street corner because they would have been better than these actors. Everything screamed porn. I almost didn't want to keep watching because I feared at any moment, the teenage girls were going to start making out with each other, especially when one asked another to take a shower with her.(no, they didn't shower together, she just had a fear of being in the room where the girl OD)

The music sounded like really bad arcade music from knock offs of a space invader game, and my friend said they reminded him of old porn music. The killer had little to no motivation for killing, and every method of killing wasn't very interesting. Yes, scissors stab. Yes, you can snap necks. What happened to horror movies killing people in more creative ways?

So, as my rant runs short on characters, I end with this conclusion; don't watch this movie. You could spend this time hanging out with your friends or loved ones. The only time you should watch this is if you really hate your self, want to know what not to do when making a film, or I you are trying to torture information out of a victim.

It's that bad.

Lacking any climax(es)

[kosmasp · 2/10 · 13 April 2021]

If you've seen some promo shots or the trailer I reckon, you may feel that this may have some highlights. Particularly when it comes to very good looking female characters ... although characters may be giving the paper thin excuses of characters too much credit. But the thing is not that the movie is only teasing you, but refusing to give you any pleasure ... you're better off watching twitter or instagram accounts or whatever else floats your boat! That is not the main reason I rated this so low.

It is because it actually lacks in the one thing that would make this bearable. Shocking horror scenes and death scenes that might give you something. Always remembering that this is a movie obviously. The really annoying people in it - you don't really care for them, so if they would die ... well you at least would want that to be something exciting. But due to the low (or is it no?) budget of the movie, you are practically seeing ... nothing! You could turn that into positive and praise the filmmakers for inventing so many methods of cutting away or framing it in a way that you are not able to see impacts or penetrations (of killings, just in case you again got your ... hopes up).

The music video at the end is also bad ... but almost feels like something great ... maybe just watch that! You get to see all the cuties from the movie ... you can mute if you feel like your ears are being violated of course.

An Honest Review

[generationofswine · 1/10 · 9 February 2019]

What can I say...both the dialogue and the acting come straight out of an Adult film. Even the teachers are the Adult Movie, looks too young, too dumb, and too buff to be a teacher kind of teacher.

And the setting, again like an Adult Movie, is of the "there clearly wasn't even an attempt to make it look like X" kind of set. I mean, a potted plant, a desk, and a roll away chalk board with one or two school desks looks NOTHING like a classroom. Unless, of course, very vulgar things happened in front of a camera in that classroom.

Usually I give movies like this 10 stars because...mission accomplished, they aren't really pretending to be anything else.

But this one seems like they were going for Triple X fair...and backed off at the last minute.

do not watch

[dylangover · 1/10 · 17 February 2020]

This movie is crap with no level acting form a 90's adult movie the story is really a good story to tell the kills were that most boring kills I have seen all part from one but I can say that it looks like they had fun making so I wasn't a complete lose but I would say don't waste you time and watch it but if you want to do

After School Massacre (2014) Review

[jacobstaggs · 7/10 · 20 January 2023]

Also known as Teacher's Day, this low budget film is something of a hidden gem of a picture. I'm going to make it known right now that I mostly don't like the slasher genre so, as it turns out, this is exactly what I want from this type of movie.

I've always thought that if I ever get to direct a slasher flick, I would do it in the way in which t it's never been done: the most straightforward and direct way. The way that utilizes the genre's strengths and excludes the rest.

It drove me crazy that I could never find a straightforward slasher. That is, until I found this film on YouTube. As far as I'm aware, this is the singular time that somebody made a pure slasher and it's about time. Beautiful girls being murdered by a masked killer. The End. Actually, there's slightly more to it than that which is part of the reason why this film just gets a 7 and not a higher score. Still, this a pure slasher, the rarest of breeds, one of a kind. I hope to make a companion for it to coexist with one day.

The cast of the movie does a very good job and the cinematography is excellent. The kills are also fairly creative as well.

Also, this is one of the only slashers to exist to take full advantage of the whole hot chicks running around in bra and panties routine. You get a handful of chicks, all in their underwear, shown on screen a lot in their underwear, oodles of the running time spent in their underwear. Director Jared Masters makes a lot of directors look like complete idiots.

The other main issue with this movie is that it does have lulls in a few places. Still, the sheer fact that the movie actually takes advantage of what its genre offers, makes this film worth watching and owning.

Where Did the Money for the Acting Lessons Go?

[arfdawg-1 · 1/10 · 28 April 2023]

A bunch of unattractive girls in bra and panties with plastics straws, ringpops and really bad tats jumping on a bed.. Why? We don't know. But then there's the worst actress on the planet -- maybe the universe who's about to commit suicide by taking what appears to be a bottle of Tylenol.

There'sa Coolio lookalike who could easily be really homeless, a floozy mother who looks like she had plastic surgery to resemble Charo and the worst sound track you will ever hear. It's so bad, it's annoying. And too loud while people are talking.

You'll have to wait a long time for the "massacre," Which happens at the end of the movie with literally 16 minutes to go! Oh, and there is no school so why this is called After School Massacre" is beyond me.

Unbelievably bad.