NCIS (TV Series)

Keep Going (2017)

Brian Dietzen: Jimmy Palmer

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Quotes 

• Jimmy Palmer : Now, I know it seems like some people have it much easier while others have it much rougher, but, uh... I think it's safe to say that there's no one who's had a tougher life than Agent Gibbs.

  Timothy McGee : [entering the squad room]  How does it sound? Reception still good?

  Ellie Bishop : Shh.

  Jimmy Palmer : Believe it or not, his wife and his young daughter were both killed on the same day. But you never hear him mention it. No, he just... buries himself in his work. And he builds boats in his basement. He'll kiss Abby on the forehead once in a while, but h-he's not exactly a hugger, you know. At least he's never hugged me. We all rely on him so much. That man has the weight of the world on his shoulders. You'd never know it. I really worry about him. But a... as tough as Gibbs is, on my darkest day, when our adoption fell through, Ryan... I lost my kid. Gibbs was the one who comforted me most.

  [flashback] 

  Jimmy Palmer : Take it you heard.

  Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Mm-hmm.

  Jimmy Palmer : Yeah, she, uh, she saw the baby and just... I guess she felt the same way we felt when we first saw him. Can't fault her for that, right?

  Leroy Jethro Gibbs : You should go home.

  Jimmy Palmer : I will. Yeah, Breena and I, we just wanted to get all this stuff out of the house, you know. We wanted to give it back as soon as possible.

  Leroy Jethro Gibbs : We?

  Jimmy Palmer : Me. She's hurting, too, but she, uh... she is so much stronger. She's ready to try again. And, uh... and me, I feel like I can't breathe. I've never felt this bad in my life, Gibbs.

  Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Ah. Just wait until it's 3:00 in the morning and your kid's running 104. You're just getting started.

  Jimmy Palmer : No, that's the point. I'm not starting. You know? And... maybe I never will.

  Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Well, then fight for it, Palmer. That's what you do. You fight for your family. And sometimes you fight like hell just to have one.

  Jimmy Palmer : You want me to fight? I feel like I just went ten rounds with Joe Louis.

  Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Do you want to be a dad, Palmer? Because right now, this is being a dad.

  Jimmy Palmer : Maybe I'm not ready.

  Leroy Jethro Gibbs : You wouldn't feel the way you feel right now if you weren't ready.

  [return to present] 

  Jimmy Palmer : And Gibbs was right. The best advice I've ever gotten. Hugs or no hugs, I... I will never forget his kindness that day. He cared. And Ryan, as tough as your father was, I'm sure if you think about it, you think of many times where he was just as kind.

• Ryan Smith : What do you want from me?

  Jimmy Palmer : I want you to not jump.

  Ryan Smith : This conversation's not helping!

  Jimmy Palmer : I... I'm just saying that if you change how you measure success, you might actually opt for happiness.

  Ryan Smith : What bumper sticker laid that gem on you?

  Jimmy Palmer : Do you opt for happiness as an assistant medical examiner? Like you never wanted more?

  Jimmy Palmer : Of course I wanted more! I... as much as if scared, but be... be careful what you wish for and all that.

  [flashback] 

  Jimmy Palmer : Dr. Mallard's praise that day convinced me to finally finish med school, and take the M.E. test.

  Ryan Smith : Really? What happened?

  Jimmy Palmer : What do you care, Ryan?

  Ryan Smith : [sarcastic]  Oh, yeah, fine. You got me. My dying wish is to know whether you passed the test.

  Jimmy Palmer : No, I didn't. Not the first time or the second time. That's why I never told anyone at work.

  Abby Sciuto : [in the squad room]  I need to talk to Gibbs. Is he still in MTAC?

  Jimmy Palmer : They still don't know.

  Ryan Smith : Know what?

  Jimmy Palmer : About the third time, when I passed.

  Ryan Smith : You passed the M.E.'s test?

  Jimmy Palmer : Yeah. I aced it. It was so strange. I... I had spent so long just trying to prove myself, trying to get ahead, and when I finally passed the test, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't want to go anywhere else. I didn't want to leave my friends. Especially not Dr. Mallard. I was happy where I was.

  Ryan Smith : So you're an actual doctor?

  Jimmy Palmer : I am. But still nobody at work knows. We got a special dynamic; I don't want to mess that up.

  Ryan Smith : But you could go anywhere.

  Jimmy Palmer : And I will one day. Nothing lasts forever. I have had so many friends come and go. And live and die. But where I'm at right now with Dr. Mallard and Abby and the rest of our team working for what I really think is a noble cause, why would I want to leave that? I'd rather be happy. So every day, I put on my scrubs or this... this old jumpsuit, I... I go to work, and I opt for happiness.

• [last lines] 

  Jimmy Palmer : [entering Gibbs' basement]  Agent Gibbs, you wanted to see me?

  [focused on his woodworking, Gibbs remains silent] 

  Jimmy Palmer : Okay. Look, first of all, I... I didn't know that you were listening last night, and... I might have said some things, some... some highly, deeply personal things about you and your personal life, but I... I just shouldn't have. Gibbs, what I said about your wife and daughter... I was just pulling out all the stops. You know, and then once I got on a roll, I couldn't stop. And then I...

  [putting his tool down, Gibbs gives him a fatherly hug] 

• Jimmy Palmer : You know there's no failure in not killing yourself, right?

  Ryan Smith : There's not much a future, either.

  Jimmy Palmer : Oh, sure there is. Future's coming with or without you. You might as well be there.

  Ryan Smith : It'll be hell without my dad. No job. I... I got some okay friends, but none like yours. And look at the world. I mean, you turn on the news, and we're all so divided. Yelling and pointing fingers; there's so much meanness out there.

  Jimmy Palmer : Stop looking for it.

  Ryan Smith : Who's looking for it? I mean, you can't get away from it.

  Jimmy Palmer : Okay, well, then you look around it. You look for the good. It's out there. I promise. I mean, i... if you find meanness, you kill it with kindness.

  Ryan Smith : Oh, here we go.

  Jimmy Palmer : You're damn right here we go. Open doors for strangers. You let a car go ahead of you in traffic. Who cares? Just smile more. And if you want good friends, be a good friend. They will find you, I promise.

  Ryan Smith : Man, you could go all night. But you don't have an answer for my dad.

  Jimmy Palmer : No, I...

  [he lets out a frustrated sigh] 

  Jimmy Palmer : No, I don't. But I have seen more dead people than anyone you know. All of them gone too soon and none of them peaceful.

  [flashback sequence] 

  Jimmy Palmer : We only get the "B" sides on our table. And it is every day. I also see their families, Ryan. Some of them let their loss just knock 'em cold. And they drown in misery, while others, they choose to make their darkest hour their defining moment. They choose to take something bad and turn it into something good. Like your dad did.

  Ryan Smith : My dad?

  Jimmy Palmer : When he lost your mom, he chose to put everything he had into you. Ryan... you are the something good that he left behind. Now you got the same choice to make.

• Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Palmer, don't you let him jump.

  Jimmy Palmer : On it, Gibbs.

  Leroy Jethro Gibbs : [to Torres]  And you, do not let him fall.

• Ryan Smith : That's my dad's wallet.

  Leroy Jethro Gibbs : There's something in there you're gonna want.

  Ryan Smith : [taking out a worn-out photograph]  My senior thesis project.

  Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Plenty of miles on that photo. He showed it off a lot.

  Jimmy Palmer : He was proud of you.

  Ryan Smith : Yeah.

  Jimmy Palmer : And what was it that Dr. Mallard said earlier today? He said... "when you're going through hell, keep going."

  Ryan Smith : [Jimmy lets him go]  You know I never would have taken you with me, right?

  Jimmy Palmer : I know. Let's go inside.

  Ryan Smith : Okay. Thanks, Jimmy.

• [acting on instinct, Palmer has joined a potential suicide on a building ledge] 

  Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Palmer! What are you thinking?

  Jimmy Palmer : I wasn't thinking anything, Agent Gibbs. I just reacted and before I knew it, I was out here.

• Jimmy Palmer : Listen, Ryan, I never thought that I would be a hero. Especially after I screwed up really bad a couple of years ago when I chickened out, but... then a very good friend of mine set me straight.

  [flashback] 

  Donald Mallard : Yeah, there was a time when I thought I would be an archeologist.

  Jimmy Palmer : Yeah? What happened? Why did you decide to go to medical school?

  Donald Mallard : Well, although archeology carried a certain romantic appeal, I soon realized it wasn't in my bones, so to speak. You have to decide what's in your bones, Mr. Palmer.

  Jimmy Palmer : Not a spine.

  Donald Mallard : Nonsense. You just have a... a... well-developed sense of self-preservation. You're training to be a medical examiner, not an NCIS field agent. I have no doubt that you have it in you to die a hero's death, but for the time being, I'd appreciate it if you could stay alive to help me examine the dead.

  [return to present] 

  Jimmy Palmer : And with that very healthy sense of self-preservation, I ask you to please stay alive, so that we can both die like heroes a very long time from now when we're old and gray, all right?

  Ryan Smith : My dad was 53. He was an actual war hero. Thanks to me, he didn't die like one.

• Jimmy Palmer : Every job has its ups and downs.

  Ryan Smith : Yeah, I was just starting to feel like I was up when they canned me.

  Jimmy Palmer : Hey, at least you were up, right? Something better will come along. It always does. When one door closes, another one opens. And, uh... it... it's always darkest before the dawn. And... and they define success by going from one failure to another failure...

  Ryan Smith : Hey, what is this, man? Is this, uh, self-help karaoke?

  Jimmy Palmer : Honestly, I got a million of these. I could do this all night long.

• Ryan Smith : I never questioned whether he loved me, I just... I wasn't sure whether he knew how much I loved him back.

  Jimmy Palmer : Oh, no, I am sure he did, Ryan.

  Ryan Smith : No, I mean, we fought too much. Right up until today. All he wanted was to take me out for my birthday, and... when he found out I'd been laid off, he blew his top. Damn near caused an accident, he was so angry. So pissed off, he cut off a whole mess of cars in an intersection.

  Leroy Jethro Gibbs : [listening in the squad room]  Intersection?

  Timothy McGee : What intersection?

  Leroy Jethro Gibbs : Where? Palmer. Ask him where. What intersection?

  Ellie Bishop : Uh, Gibbs, it's a one-way speaker.

  Jimmy Palmer : What intersection?

  Ryan Smith : It was, uh... it was around Raymere and Holt.

  Alex Quinn : How does he do that?

• Jimmy Palmer : Breena took Victoria up to her aunt's house in Syracuse this week, so I am a swinging bachelor.

  Abby Sciuto : That explains it.

  Jimmy Palmer : Explains what?

  Abby Sciuto : Your lack of swinging lately. You've been pouting for days.

  Jimmy Palmer : Have I?

  Abby Sciuto : Yeah.

  Jimmy Palmer : Huh. So much for my poker face.

  Abby Sciuto : I mean, it's understandable. You miss them when they're gone.

  Jimmy Palmer : Yeah, especially this time of year.

  Abby Sciuto : Getting your midwinter blues?

  Jimmy Palmer : It's not blues. It's just... blah. It's darker, it's colder, minor annoyances seem bigger. I start questioning everything from politics to "why did I these itchy socks today?".

  Donald Mallard : Forgive me, Mr. Palmer, but I can't resist the urge to give you one of my all-time favorite pieces of advice. If you're going through hell, keep going.

• Nick Torres : Well, on the bright side, at least there's no pigeons. They must have, uh, flown south for the winter, I guess.

  Jimmy Palmer : Actually, pigeons don't fly south for the winter, Agent Torres, but I appreciate your bright side.

  Ryan Smith : Hey, how long's he gonna be there?

  Jimmy Palmer : My guess? As long as we stay here.

  Ryan Smith : Unbelievable. I can't even kill myself without messing it up.

  Jimmy Palmer : In your defense, I'm the one that messed this one up, so don't go blaming yourself.

• Ryan Smith : This isn't the first time I thought about doing this. Dad was the only thing stopping me.

  Jimmy Palmer : You didn't want to break his heart.

  Ryan Smith : That and prove him right. I'd already disappointed him enough.

  Jimmy Palmer : Your dad said he was disappointed?

  Ryan Smith : He didn't have to. He, uh... he wanted me in the military, and I chose college. Then he wanted me to study business, and I switched to architecture. When I didn't get a job in my chosen field, he thought maybe we'd wasted my tuition.

  Jimmy Palmer : Come on. Hardly anybody gets their dream job right out of school.

  Ryan Smith : Did you?

  Jimmy Palmer : I... I'm actually one of the fortunate few. Very fortunate, considering I nearly blew it on my third day on the job.