Upstart Crow (TV Series)

A Crow Christmas Carol (2018)

Gemma Whelan: Kate

Quotes 

• Greene : Miss Kate, what business brings you here?

  Kate : I am come collecting monies to bring comfort to the needy this Christmas.

  Greene : Ha! Ha! Bah! Are there no prisons? No poorhouses? Let the poor go to them. And if they cannot find a place, let them die and be quick about it, and so relieve the surplus population.

  Kate : How can you be so mean and nasty?

  Greene : It's a gift.

• Kate : [Referring to Robert Greene]  Many a time, and oft, have we heard his claims to piety and a Christian conscience, and I am here to tell you that it is all utter... utter... well... if I am to say what his claims to piety are, then in order to spare my maidenly blushes I must needs do as you do, Mr Shakespeare, and resort to linguistical poncentoggling.

  Colin : Oh God. Really, must ye?

  Bottom : This could take a while. I'll get more ale.

  Will : [Clears his throat and stands up]  Intrigued am I, Kate. If what you wish to say of Greene's claims to piety be indeed too coarse a thought for a delicate maid to utter, then by all means must you resort to linguistical poncentoggling!

  Kate : Right. In that case, his claims to piety are 'what a bull leaves behind him, hot and steaming in a field, but which be not a deeply satisfied cow'.

  [pause] 

  Will : K... kind of feel in this case, th-the linguistical poncentoggling m-might actually feel a bit ruder than the phrase you're trying to toggle your way out of. Y-you mean he's talking bullsh...?

  Kate : Yes!