EdWood-8 Reviews

The Code Conspiracy (2002)

Boring

[1/10 · 21 December 2006]

This movie is bad. I don't know how it got a 7.3. The vast majority of what I saw - my friend and I turned it off about half way through - was talk. And not very interesting talk. Just blather, going over the same ground again and again. David Warner, a good actor, phoned in his performance, got his check and split. Gotta pay the rent.

Stage requires a lot of talk because of the limitations its nature imposes. But when they have the power of the camera's eye which allows them to use angles, editing, etc. to create a sense of mystery and drama, why do directors just set it up and let it run while the actors talk? Don't get me wrong, there are movies out there that have a great deal of dialog and they are riveting - GLEN GARRY GLENROSS and NETWORK are two good examples. But if your movie is going to be heavy on dialog it's got to be sharp, witty, lean, in short, interesting. There's a basic rule in any creative endeavor - whenever possible, show, don't tell. Well, in this movie the characters tell you everything and show you very little. And I won't even get into how pretentious this film is.

Red Zone Cuba (1966)

Unreal

[1/10 · 5 January 2005]

It staggers me that people would put money - however little - into something this awful. Who in their right mind could ever think this garbage even approaches the quality of a B movie? One viewing and you'll see what I'm talking about. There is basically no plot. Three men sort of wander around a little, take a plane to Cuba for whatever reason (maybe money, though that point is not made clear), train for one day, lie around on some cots, and take part in an 8-man invasion of the island where a Castro "look-a-like" in a ridiculous fake beard awaits. The rest of the plot is so absurd I won't bore you with it. Suffice to say it is a colossal mountain of pointless celluloid. But it's fun to watch with the bots. In my opinion this and MANOS are tied for worst film ever.

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

Worst Movie Ever? Depends...

[1/10 · 4 January 2005]

This is a candidate for worst movie ever - in the category of "no budget", "director with no experience", "non-actors", etc. I'm not trying to excuse it. It is a HORRIBLE movie. I mean, in one scene the camera is focused on the back of the actor's head while she is talking. But consider Red Zone Cuba. Here is a film with, granted, little or no budget. But you did have a director who'd done other films. Granted, they were bad films as well, but there was at least some experience. The actors in RZC had done a little "acting" as well. So, is it the worst? Yes, I think so - in the "no budget, no experienced director, no actors" category. In the "tiny budget, little experienced director, really bad actors (or "gimme my check" actors, ala John Carradine)" category I have to give the nod to RZC.