Suki Woo Reviews

Unbreakable (2000)

Mugged (again) by hype reviews.

[25 September 2001]

I had to check my DVD player to see if it was stuck on slo-mo mode. To describe this film as pedestrian is to exaggerate the pace. The plot is vapid, the dialogue non existent, the premise not worth the effort and the acting an insult to the word wooden. Using Willis as the lead, a man with one expression and no capability with dialogue at all, is like pouring treacle onto a snail. Don't be misled into looking for any hidden meaning.

The only people who watch this repeatedly are insomniacs looking for a cure. Normal people will be checking out the cracks in the ceiling or wondering if they locked the car well before the one hour mark is reached.

I am really, really annoyed that I was mugged into renting this movie by some of the hype reviews. I am now going to watch "Mouse Hunt" as an antidote.

Rating: triple zzz

Meet the Parents (2000)

Meet the cliches

[28 August 2001]

To be brief, a lightweight, unengaging attempt at zany comedy without any zany involved. If the biggest comedic hook is constantly playing on a characters rude sounding surname, you know you're in trouble. If not for the starname pull of DeNiro this film would disappear without trace.

High Fidelity (2000)

Beware - not that funny for all of us.

[23 August 2001]

Based on usually reliable high ratings, I watched this film with an open mind but eventually a sinking heart. I'm willing to accept that being neither male nor American might be the problem here, but I didn't find this laugh out funny, I found none of the characters engaging, and will not be subjecting myself to repeated viewings. My critical problem with this pedestrian film was that it trod a path well worn by Woody Allen, and was a rather pale imitation in comparison. In fact substitute jazz for pop and New York for Chicago and you have a Woody Allen plot, but without the comedic engagement. And as for rude shop assistants being funny, well see Clerks instead. It would have helped me if girlfriend four and five looked a little more different from each other, which added to my bewilderment about just what was this jerk whineing on about. However some clearly enjoyed it (what was so special about the sound track, though??) so give it a try - but don't say you weren't warned. At least it allowed me to appreciate Allen's skill as a writer and director by giving me an average benchmark to refer to. 5 out of 10,

Run Lola Run (1998)

Original filmaking, with superbly integrated soundtrack.

[23 August 2001]

Well, I'd rather substitute the word "experimental" with "different" when describing this film. It's simply an investigation into what a split second difference in time would make to the rest of a fairly disasterous day. Entertaining, fast paced, stylish (in a European way) and memorable. Get the soundtrack CD - its excellent in its own right. It shows you don't need big budget exploding kidneys and levitating buses to make entertaining movies. 8 out of 10.

The Straight Story (1999)

I seem to be in a minority .....

[28 November 2000]

Well, its lonely here in criticising the "Straight to sleep story". One huge dollop of double sized sentimental americana goo. "Straight to afternoon cable TV story" is a better title. Definately for over 50 year old yankees. Lynch sells out to HBO??? What really annoys me is how easy it seems to be to get an average film into the top 100 by making it so inoffensive and actionless ...and actually plotless..the premise is so week that we never find out really why he stopped talking to his estranged brother ..all down to drink apparently, which the main character (who's name escapes me due to film induced narcolepsy) has given up of course. A disney film I note, so good wholesome on track messages. ARGGGGGH! Bring back the Love Bug!! And if I wanted pictures of endless cornfields I would have got a FREE travel brochure..not that there is anything remotely romantic about driving in the mid-west in the burning hot sun.

Apt Pupil (1998)

I should have known better..

[16 August 2000]

I should have known and learned from experience ... "most screen adaptations of Stephen King's writing suck", and "never watch a film where the lead role is played by a teenager". I'm afraid many critics on this site are overselling this flick - surely destined for Sunday afternoon snooze t.v.

McKellen sleepwalks through this (so as not to wake you up) and is never convincing as either a sadist or an old nazi- A sub-B movie performance. Compare with his virtuoso Richard III - or look at Olivier in Marathon Man - it can be done.

The art of cinema includes making unbelievable scenarios believable and entertaining. This fails on both counts. I knew we were in trouble when the boy's family insist on meeting this old man he's spending every evening with, and are completely satisfied after he's told a couple of jokes. The dramatic tension could be compared with a tightly stretched green bean.

And the aforementioned teenager is not an "apt pupil" of McKellen in acting! The best performance was from the cat, (in another ridiculous scene) - he jumped out of the window never to be seen again at the earliest opportunity.

Could have said something about corruption, evil, redemption, or lack of it but ended up being boring and shallow. I had to check my pulse at regular intervals. Null Points - and shame on McKellen for a performance that he would surely better on his own holiday videos!

Manhunter (1986)

My patience almost broke down...

[10 August 2000]

My patience almost broke down when watching the video of this movie. I assume that in haste to get this onto video stock as cheaply as possible, they took the wide screen and just showed the middle bit. Hence long scenes with action off to the left or right - or both in one part of a conversation! And the less said about the soundtrack the better. Both of these factors made a reasonable movie almost unbearable - I only watched it because I enjoyed the book. So a weird 8 for the acting and plot, and -8 for the production to video and soundtrack. Making, I believe an unfortunate zero. Please - will someone just re-edit it, kill the soundtrack and rename it Red Dragon so we can associate it better with the book - surely they will make money on it by association with the other Harris novels.

A Bug's Life (1998)

Read the Maltin Summary

[7 July 2000]

Read the Maltin summary and don't get distracted by some of the negative drivel you see in this comments page. Imagine being so uptight as finding the spoofed outtakes "jarring", or going around saying "Bleh Awful" when you are looking at stunning state of the art animation techniques. Perhaps they should get back to watching Halloween and Scream movies ( same storylines, different blood) and leave us innocents in peace. I just hope Hopper gets them one night. Analysing animated ants for gods sake! Go watch, and well done you Bugs!

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)

Carry On Spying with Big Budget!

[29 June 2000]

Please stop analysing this film! If you like "Carry On" films you'll like this. If you don't you won't. If you don't know what I'm talking about then you should take the risk and watch it. There will be at least one scene that you will find very funny indeed.

Well done to an American in re-inventing British Humour for mass consumption.

Fight Club (1999)

At last - a real movie classic for the next millenium

[10/10 · 12 November 1999]

David Fincher has seen the millenium out in style by giving us a classic movie to watch during the next one. Supurb cinematography, plot, humour, acting, casting. Do not miss this film..but see it quick before someone spoils it for you. DO NOT READ ANY SPOILERS! Trust me.

Brad Pitt confirms his stature again by matching..even surpassing.. the "edgy character" performances he gave in Seven and 12 Monkeys. I cannot praise this film highly enough..it has restored my faith in movies after what has been an abysmal year to date.

Face (I) (1997)

Wasted cast

[3/10 · 25 October 1999]

What a waste of a good cast. What was the writer/director trying to do here? I can only assume that the exploding police car shoot out was grafted on to give some USA appeal, as was the appallingly contrived police station shoot out. So out of the window with gritty realism (these things don't happen in Ulster let alone in London). I really wanted to like this, but all the actors looked confused about their characters motives, except "Julian" who just went for all out crazy. The plot could have worked, but not with this direction. Even the title had a tenuous link to the film ("You used to be a Face" whatever that means. Must get my cockney gangster dictionary out, guvnor.) Individual scenes stood out as thrilling, but in general, the plot tried to make a dignified exit, but tripped over the doormat. I am surprised at the IMBD rating - a definite 5/10 of a film.

Sleepers (1996)

Thoughtful and disturbing drama

[8/10 · 25 October 1999]

Discounting the rather dubious claim to be a true story (what with potential perjury and perverting the course of justice charges to be aimed at the protaganists) this drama gets your attention with a strong plot, a good cast and evocative visuals. Most of the big stars only appear in short scenes, so it isn't a vehicle for any particular ego, although DeNiro dominates the film with his portrayal of the priest. In some respect the plot does suffer from dilution of characters - the choice of "Shakes" as the pivitol character certainly marginalised the others - and this stops it from being a "great" movie. However it's a "good" movie, and in a Hollywood dominated by ridiculous plots and special effects that's no bad thing.

Sphere (1998)

Is the plot out of its depth?

[5/10 · 23 August 1999]

Sorry, couldn't resist that one. Aww.. come on everybody - little Dustin and company are harmless enough in this film ..which is sort of Disney Style Sterile. Now don't read on, kiddies, 'cos i might spoil all those surprises for you.

Scary!? Whooo there's a giant squiddy outside - and a nasty plasticy snake in your trousers..oooh help. And a naughty computer is printing threats in a code which takes 35 seconds to decipher. Credible? Makes Jurassic Park look like Super Science. I'm really, really sure that's the way we would handle such an alien event - send a psychologist, a mathematician ('cos "that's our common language" afterall) and whatever Sharon Stone was supposed to be good at. "There's something humming inside" apparently ...probably "Follow the Yellow Brick Road".

Why does Dustin keep appearing in things like this and "Virus". Is it obligatory that all our 70's heroes lose their judgement? No wonder the cast hold hands and forgets the whole plot at the end. "We're just not ready". Should have thought of that 100 minutes earlier, guys.

The Game (1997)

Sit back and enjoy the ride

[7/10 · 23 August 1999]

Entertaining vehicle for Micheal Douglas (who appears in virtually every shot - but doesn't get to bed the leading lady this time). Sean Penn appears for about 5 minutes in all - which is just as well really since he has no charisma - why is he famous?

The plot had an opportunity right up to the last few minutes to round itself off to an excellent black comedy - film noir type conclusion, but the seemingly inevitable hollywood-style feel good ending had to be tacked on, which relegates the film to trivial entertainment - bad move Mr Producer.

However, watch it - and don't think about it too deeply.

Naked Lunch (1991)

Know your subject...

[7/10 · 23 August 1999]

is definately the cast iron rule here. Please browse around to find out about Wiillam Burroughs rather bizarre life and writings in the 50's before attempting to watch this film, which is a composite of his life and novels during and leading up to the writing of Naked Lunch. Those that know something of American Beat Writers will realise that plot does not have as much importance as incident - and so it is with this film.

A must see to those with an interest in Burroughs ...unintelligible to those who do not.

Clerks (1994)

Genuinely funny

[8/10 · 13 July 1999]

This film proves that low budget films (and believe me you can tell it was a low budget!) don't mean bad plots. The sketch type nature of this film worked well, and even the bad acting was charming rather than irritating. Well worth ignoring the poor film and sound quality to watch.

The Truman Show (1998)

Entertaining, but not "deep"

[29 June 1999]

I do wish that commentators would stop promoting this film as a deep and meaningful take on a voyeuristic society. Certainly, the plot line concept is a reversal of the sad US shock/chat shows with a twist of sci-fi.

In this case the "prisoner", Truman, is unwittingly exposing his (sanitised) private life on 24 hour TV, and is happily trapped in a safe world until he actually finds out that he is trapped.

But that's it really - the film is then plotted as a comic realisation of this concept with no further depth at all. It dips deeply into the American sugary sentiment pool, and is a vehicle tailored for Jim Carrey - an opportunity that he does not waste to be less "goofy".

Don't worry however, everything is handed to you on a plate in an explanatory section in the middle of the film, just in case you are a little confused. It's as sinister as a choc chip cookie.

So - entertaining, enjoyable, well produced - but leave it there! It will run and run on US cable for years to come.

Mars Attacks! (1996)

Juvenile

[3/10 · 4 June 1999]

Harmless wallpaper. Not particularly funny to the average adult, I would guess. Could have been a parody of 50s Sci Fi but is more like Mel Brooks meets Gremlins on an off day.

Prick Up Your Ears (1987)

Thoughtful and compelling drama

[9/10 · 4 June 1999]

This film features excellent performances and, having read the Orton Diaries, I can safely say it does an excellent job of conveying the true story without significant distortions. Oldman even looks like Orton and conveys exactly the impression of him that you get from his writings (which, as a godsend to Bennett, go into extraordinary, novel-like, detail). Molina was not quite as convincing as Halliwell, but most of our impressions of him are from third hand sources. It's a pity that the only other character of strength in the film was the agent,Peggy, whereas they did have close friends at that time (Kenneth Williams for one) whose interaction could have given the viewer a bit more insight into Halliwell's problems. The book by Lahr succeeds in this far better. However, still a compelling drama in its own right that will leave a lasting impression on the viewer. Recommended ****!

Crash (1996)

One long bore

[1/10 · 2 June 1999]

Some people claim that this is a thought provoking masterpiece. Well I thought a lot - about what to cook for dinner, whether I'd paid that bill, was there any interesting ironing I could do, does the oven need cleaning. Eventually I thought, after 60 minutes, I might as well turn the video off and watch repeats of Sgt. Bilko. Even if I thought it necessary to see if it is possible to have sex during a crash whilst licking a scar, (not something that had occurred to me) I don't think I could stay awake long enough to decide. Even good authors and filmakers make mistakes. This was an unfortunate conjunction of both occurrences. Boring and pointless.

Titanic (1997)

Anyone who loves movies will love this one.

[8/10 · 21 May 1999]

Anyone who loves movies will love this one (excepting horror-blood-war-my gun's bigger than yours fans). It has all the hallmarks of a movie classic. The special effects are relevant, the fictional plot cleverly wound into the real events, the romance versus drama well balanced, the acting persuasive. The stage settings and costumes were amazing. All the people who made this film know what they are doing - and it shows. It cleverly jerks out those tears and makes you stare in wonder. Good clean fun, I'd say. Go see it!

Alien: Resurrection (1997)

Good for die hard Ripley fans only.

[5/10 · 21 May 1999]

As someone who jumps everytime an Alien appears on the screen, this film has all the right elements and passed the time pretty quickly. However for those who didn't appreciate the first Alien film, it certainly won't win them over. It looks like a pension fund raiser for Sigourny - with that nice open ending and all that. Let's forget plot credibility (the writers certainly did - when did Ripley find time to run up that leather gear on her sewing machine?), the science ( General -"she knows about it", Doctor - "it must be some sort of inherited race memory combined with highly refined instincts" - duh?) and concentrate purely on the Alien myth. Here we see plenty for our "alternative" Alien fans - lots of smouldering looks from the new improved Ripley towards Wynona, I thought (could have been maternal - I just don't know). Plenty for our feminist Alien friends - the men were as usual completely useless when they weren't being downright devious. And plenty for our Alien etymology freaks - we can probably build one in our backyard we've seen so much of their insides and outsides. I predict an Alien 5, an Alien 6, and so on until the super lean Ms Weaver runs to fat. And more power to her, I say - 48 years old in this film and still looks good in leather!

Divorcing Jack (1998)

Entertaining...but is it comedy?

[20 May 1999]

There is no doubt that this film is entertaining. Whether it's funny is another question. Black comedy needs a subtle touch and some of the violence is a little too heavy to justify laughing at. Robert Lindsey plays it straight... Thewlis for laughs. The accidental death of a woman on the stair is black comedy. The killing of the reporter is not. The fake nun attempts to reinforce the comedy credentials - but only serves to look out of context with the hard violence she perpetrates on the gangster. The comedy element looked like it was grafted on to a hard edged film. Since the film portrays a gritty realism, I feel it should have stuck with the that theme, and it would have been a better film for it.

Richard III (1995)

A horse, a horse - or is it a jeep, a jeep?

[9/10 · 20 May 1999]

Please forgive me, Shakespeare perfectionists, but for me and the other several million people who did not see the original stage production, this is an opportunity to see McKellen strut his stuff, and bring this play to life in an excellent and gripping way. This is a MOVIE, and would have suffered if some of the pace wasn't adjusted accordingly. As it was, the adaptation worked magnificently - what a super villain that Richard was - eh? Knocks Blofeld into a cocked hat anyday. Who wants to steal nuclear warheads when you can rule an empire by lying through your teeth? Who needs a tank full of killer sharks when you've got a bath of soapy water? Get out of your rarefied rooms and let Shakespeare shine on into the next millennium. His plot embarrasses most hollywood scriptwriters with its excellence (and he's far cheaper). Superb.

Ed Wood (1994)

What a star!

[20 May 1999]

What a star Johnie Depp is, eh? He has made this a superbly enjoyable film. Definitely a video for the home collection. I recommend this thoughtful gentle comedy with just an edge of black to it. And amazingly, its all true (so they tell me). If Ed Woods hadn't existed, you'd have to invent him just to brighten up your day.

Inspired performances all round.