Lenoir-2 Reviews

Stranger Things: Chapter Seven: The Massacre at Hawkins Lab (2022) Season 4, Episode 7

Better beginning than end

[6/10 · 29 May 2022]

If your exposition scene requires like 20 minutes, you've not done the best storytelling job. First half starts off really strong with the older group kicking ass in the upside down but the weird attempt to smoosh together the Eleven and Big Bad plots is sloppy at best. Still, nice to see Steven and Nancy being a potential thing again. Also,how cool was the lite bright scene?

The Adventurer: The Curse of the Midas Box (2013)

Wrong main character

[3/10 · 4 February 2022]

Michael Sheen's character Will Charity is so fun to watch has he dashingly moves from adventure to adventure. One has to wonder why the film chooses to focus on a nothing character instead doing boring things.

Peggy Sue Got Married (1986)

Better as a memory

[4/10 · 12 February 2021]

I remember this movie being better than it is. A lot of the times it doesn't seem like one character's dialogue is actually in response to the first character's dialogue. Like somebody wrote scripts for each different character. Kathleen Turner does a really great performance but it's just not a strong script. Who chose Nicolas Cage? And what's with the way he talks? Good concept, strong main actress, poor script.

Spiral (I) (2019)

Predictable slog

[3/10 · 21 September 2020]

The music really wanted the audience to believe that scary things were happening, even when it was just a man walking on a bridge or a family portrait. It takes 45 minutes before those paranoid musical crescendos focus on something that isn't an everyday event. The ending isn't surprising. Acting was good but why bother with good acting if the plot is super lame? Zzzz.

We need more gay characters that aren't just gay characters.

Laggies (2014)

Creepy posing as cutsie

[3/10 · 10 July 2020]

What kind of dad finds out that his teen daughter is secretly having sleepovers with a 30 year old and thinks it's fine? I noped out when he was okay with her buying his daughter lingerie.

The tone was super weird for the content.

Truth or Dare (2017 TV Movie)

Gets better

[6/10 · 4 June 2019]

The first half was exactly what I expected: Cookie cutter teenagers in predictable situations, but then when things started picking up, I enjoyed watching the gruesome tasks set forth by the mysterious malevolent force. Kinda fun. Not the best movie ever, but some of the torture scenes got me to look up from my ipad game. This is not the type of movie to watch if you're looking for character development. I will say that it whooped 2018's snapchat filter version's ass.

Us (II) (2019)

Well-executed Stupidity

[6/10 · 20 March 2019]

This movie does well a lot of the same things that Get Out did well. The characters are fleshed out and interesting, the dialogue is compelling, and the humor hits hard and at terrific moments of tension. Unfortunately, the plot of Us is really weak. It grows weaker as the movie goes and you start seeing ways that it just doesn't make any logical sense. I had a lot of "Then, how would this work?" moments in the latter third as the plot revealed itself. There were also some just plain silly choices with the "scary" aspects such as the way the main antagonist speaks (in inhales) and physical mimicry by non-speaking characters.

I had the misfortune of sitting next to one of those easily frightened, jumps at everything viewers. The first twenty minutes or so, I thought I'd go mad having her next to me. But, she loosened up considerably as the movie went on and became much less scary. And that was my feeling with the movie too. There is a lot of potential for terror with random people that show up bearing scissors in the middle of the night. Instead, it just got more like a Twilight Zone episode, where the concept is only fleshed out long enough to suit a 30 minute format.

The 10 Year Plan (2014)

Ridiculous eye candy.

[4/10 · 11 April 2017]

Bad acting, cheesy clichés, stilted dialogue, beautiful male eye candy. It's a pretty mediocre film, but I watched it to the end because it was nice just watching hot guys mooning over each other. Of course, they had the chemistry of, well, two C-grade actors that had just met, but whatchya gonna do?

Humpday (2009)

Too sad with not enough payoff

[3/10 · 25 December 2009]

The bulk of the film for me felt like having a heart to heart talk with a lover which isn't really something that I want to pay money to do. I was constantly feeling bad for the things that the characters were putting each other through. While I found the interactions to be realistic, it was so strenuous! It was nice to get a laugh once the two guys tried in a half-assed manner to get down to business, but then there was the sadness that again showed up once the two started to realize that they were going to give up yet another thing. They're locked into that same pattern of not being able to follow through with things.

I'm really disappointed by this film. Good acting, annoying camera direction, and a plot device that could easily have fit a 90 minute film, but just couldn't seem to the way it was envisioned. Ah well. Oh, and it was too weird realizing that was Josh from Blair Witch!

Let the Right One In (2008)

Would have been great on fast forward

[5/10 · 25 October 2009]

Maybe I'm showing my American nature (bigger, faster), but this movie was so ungodly slow that it was almost impossible to sit through. There is a good movie here. It has an interesting premise that speaks of a very sad deeper meaning. In that way, it was a lovely film that showed the interactions that a vampire would have to have with the mortal world around her. However, the LONG stretches in between what I suppose should be called plot points (though I'm grasping at straws here since plot points are supposed to progress the plot) are tedious with no other purpose than setting a somber mood. Yeah, I get it. Somber. I don't need ten minutes of a child walking in snow to get it.

The interactions between the two main characters are interesting though I found the boy to be very off-putting with his sociopathic personality. Unfortunately for the film, this is just about the only plot that is worth caring about.

There are some gem moments in the film making itself. Attention to detail was paid by the film-maker and that is always appreciated. The vampiric subtleties like movement and eyes were done very well. I liked the camera and lighting work. The music was also appropriately cheerless.

My main beef is that this movie is so boring. It could easily have been a ten minute short and felt just as satisfying.

Darkness (2002)

A collection of ideas stolen from better films.

[1/10 · 19 December 2008]

The credits got my hopes up; that's pretty bad. Darkness was sub-par in nearly every aspect: the sound, the visual direction, the plot, pacing, characters, everything.

The movie relies on "jumpies" which is not my idea of the best route for a horror film to take. The music is louder than the dialogue which forces you to kind of crane your ear to hear and then BAM! Jumpy! Which is way louder than either music or dialogue. I also thought the sound effects that were used seemed like they came from a 1001 sound effects CD.

Probably the most painful aspect were the characters. They were like cardboard cutout people. They didn't really do much. They were all stuck doing one action. The dad kept being angry and weird, the mom kept denying crap, and the son kept being abused. The daughter whom the audience is meant to identify with, notices the oddities going on but just gripes about it a little to her male friend. Other than observing, she doesn't do anything until the end of the film. So, we are left with a lead who is just as powerless to make the plot proceed as we, the viewers, are.

Unlike some of the other comments here, I didn't find the plot/ending confusing. I did find it way too late in the film. Satanic rituals are inherently scary! Why didn't they introduce that little tidbit until the ending was already under way?

In the tradition of the shining, the movie is separated into days that flash on the screen. Thank goodness we had at least a chronological plan for the plot, because it might never have resolved itself otherwise. Also, we have a psycho father who we assume is going to kill the kids. Like MANY other horror flicks, only the spooky, isolated boy can see the ghosts. You've got the dark, closed in atmosphere of The Others, minus the slow building tension. There is the finding of the satanic chamber beneath the house ala Amityville Horror. All these stolen concepts are just that, concepts. Darkness never finds its own identity and thus can't offer us anything but a mishmash of others' ideas.

If Anna Paquin wasn't so hot, I wouldn't have held out til the end. Oh, and she's a good actress too. ;)

Sleepstalker (1995 Video)

A blast!

[2/10 · 6 July 2000]

This movie tried so hard to make itself scary even though the plot was crap. It's great fun to watch. The special effects are terrible and the acting is worse. It's hysterical the way that Griffin's jaw drops. I recommend seeing this if you're not prepared for a good movie.

Prince Interactive (1994 Video Game)

Pretty pictures

[8/10 · 23 September 1999]

Richly designed game. Lots of ornate things to click on and play with. Not much in the way of a plot though. It's hard to tell when you have finished everything that you can do, but other than that, I liked it.

Under the Cherry Moon (1986)

Great vibes

[10/10 · 23 September 1999]

This movie had so much going for it. The atmosphere, the quirky characters, the romantic setting, and at least one good actress. Prince as usual, sets the plot to revolve around his talents/good looks. Which, once you get past the initial surprise at finding that the character Christopher is SUPPOSED to look good that way, then it all falls together. Kristin Scott Thomas lights up this movie with her superior performance and incredible sex appeal. The music set the movie to feel light hearted even while covering such a serious problem. I thoroughly loved it.