questl-18592 Reviews

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

D&D

[8/10 · 25 September 2023]

It's weird how excited I was for this one. I've never played a single D&D campaign, never so much as thrown a D20 but I've always been fascinated by it and the culture around it. Beyond that, this movie just looked like fun. Now, all that said, I'm gonna get the bad out of the way so I can jump to the good.

There's a lot of CGI in this movie. Most of it is pretty good. Some of it is pretty bad. That's a minor thing really, and honestly I'm starting to think that's just a byproduct of post-COVID cinema. CGI just isn't where it used to be. That aside, and a more critical error in the film is that it's just got too much to do. At 134 minutes, they just don't have the time to properly explain or explore the world. There's so much I wanted to know more about, so many things where I was left going "Huh?" Making this kind of movie is a big task. D&D has been around for ages, presumably with countless stories and adventures, inside jokes and fan favorite things. I weirdly wish they had announced this as a trilogy from the jump, but I bet they had to go for the solo pitch to get it approved. Show their worth to the studios and all that. Scenes felt rushed, we'd reach a new destination, one thing would happen, off to the next. It was almost dizzying how fast it moved.

On the plus side... This is just so much FUN. I've never been a huge Pine fan, but this one might be winning me over. He's had charisma in the past, but I've never once had that desire to see him reprise a role again. Rodriguez... God she was PERFECT in this. I really don't think there would be a better person to take up the character and her years of roles that defined her as one of the toughest people in Hollywood really served her in this. The action is fun, the magic and world is really interesting, when the effects are on point it's gorgeous. Oh, and it's hilarious. More than that though, I think it succeeded in accomplishing what every film like this sets out to accomplish. I want more. I want to know more about this world, I want to dig deeper. Like I said, I'd always been interested, but never made a push. Now I'm pestering friends to tell me more. If that's not a sign of some modicum of success, I don't know what is.

D&D:HAT is a prime example of an imperfect film being carried by pure charisma and character and fun. It's just such a great ride that it's pretty easy to overlook what might otherwise be some pretty significant problems. Further, I was lucky enough to watch this under pretty great circumstances. Myself and 3 friends. I'd never played, one just started last year and is still new. Another has been playing for a few years and the 4th has been playing this and other tabletops for over a decade. I really liked it, as did the two newer people. The person playing for years felt it was cluttered and sloppily attempting to hit as many D&D notes as possible. Couldn't ask for a better range of perspectives for an impromptu viewing.

65 (2023)

65

[4/10 · 25 September 2023]

Snooooooooooooooze.

Look, some interesting gadgets, visuals, and Driver trying his damnedest to make this work doesn't change the fact that this is a remarkably unremarkable movie. I'm not sure what's a stronger indictment of the film, that I literally finished it less than 30 minutes before writing this and already can't be bothered to recall any details beyond Adam Driver playing some hybridized Last of Us: Turok Edition. Or, that I kept nearly falling asleep in the middle of a sci fi movie on a planet of killer Dinos!

Beyond that, it's not aggressively bad or anything. It's just dull, tedious, uninspired and hollow. Driver's still fun but he can't save this mess.

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)

JW4

[6/10 · 25 September 2023]

I liked this movie and that makes me sad. When John Wick first came out, I was in love. Yes, the action was incredible but there was something more to it. The world and the style were so interesting and there was this odd connection to Wick. Here's this man who has gone through such change in his life, who just wanted to live peacefully, drawn back in to the world he'd escaped. There was just something interesting about that. 2 and 3 continued that trend, to a somewhat lesser extent but they were still really fun. Now we hit 4 and I find myself losing that resonance with the franchise.

4 has some AMAZING action. The action and the set pieces might well be the best of the series but they're all so empty. Each one is just a few degrees separated from greatness and eventually that gets tiresome. Then there's the classic sequel trouble of proliferation and escalation. Something that was cool the first time we saw it, so OBVIOUSLY if we give it to EVERYONE then it's that much cooler, right!? Nooooope. I swear, I could hear the CinemaSins chime every time someone blocked a bullet with an impermeable suit jacket.

4 also has more characters than any of the other movies. Don't ask me to explain who any of them really are, cause I have no idea, but they're there and cut a nice silhouette!

Cocaine Bear (2023)

Ugh

[1/10 · 25 September 2023]

Wow was this disappointing. You go into a movie like Cocaine Bear and I'm kinda hoping for a bizonkers non-stop ride of absurd violence. Even comedy violence. I'm thinking that this thing is going to be insane. It's a bear, high on cocaine, killing people. How is that not going to be crazy? Well... You have Elizabeth Banks behind the camera and apparently that'll do it. (Side note, I went through her IMDB to find something redeemable so I could maybe say she's just not a great director but hey, "she was great in..." but the only thing I see that was really worthwhile was the Lego Movie and lets be honest, nobody remembers that movie because of her voice work.)

At every possible turn, this movie goes the wrong direction. It veers away from the insane to go with the most beige, sterile tedium one could imagine. Then, in the few moments it does try to be a little weird, it doesn't even... It's so bad that it's hard to not just chalk it up to bad film making. At one point, the bear spits out a bullet. Love that! Make that bear indestructible and bulletproof! Absolutely! Except... In this scene, I end up asking how that bullet even got in the bear's mouth in the first place.

The movie has an R rating, but this is about the softest, most flaccid R I've ever seen. It would take so very little to just make this a PG-13 that I really wonder why they didn't just do that. They constantly cut away from the "good stuff" and instead, limbs just fly out of nowhere. HOW IS THE BEAR DISMEMBERING PEOPLE AND THEN THROWING THEIR SEVERED LIMBS OUT!? It doesn't even make sense!

I really wanted this to be a fun movie. To be a party movie, where you get together with some friends, throw on Cocaine Bear and all have a gut busting good time of laughs and "OH F--!" moments. Instead, I'm just left questioning my own susceptibility to ad campaigns along with the approval process of the production companies. Sharknado was more interesting than this. Also, seriously... It feels like the movie is acknowledging its own stupidity when it throws up a stat or quote or whatever it was and then cites Wikipedia for it. What are we doing here, guys? Wikipedia? Seriously?

Ugh.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)

Mario

[6/10 · 25 September 2023]

This is one of those situations where I'm going to say a lot of bad things about a movie that mostly excelled at exactly what I think it wanted to do. As a kids movie, this is probably great. Colorful, goofy, lot of Mario stuff to get into. Taylor-Joy and Day were exceptional in their roles, with Day really amazing me with how perfect he felt as Luigi.

Then there's everything I couldn't stand... This is barely a movie. Instead, it's just a series of references, easter eggs and Nintendo-isms barely tied together with a shoestring plot. By the halfway point, I was just so bored of everything on screen. It had become rote and trite. Another Mario cliche on the way to a foregone conclusion that everyone on the planet knew was coming. They were so desperate to cram as many possible things into this that I honestly feel like they could've easily gotten an entire Phase One of the NCU (Nintendo Cinematic Universe) out of random scenes in this movie. It's like they didn't feel confident that this movie was going to be a success so rather than risk not telling a joke or fitting a reference in, they forced EVERYTHING in. Given how predictable the movie is, this just leads to an overly hollow experience that left me completely underwhelmed and dissatisfied.

Then there's the voice acting. Already mentioned that I think some of it is good (Taylor-Joy) and some is exceptional (Day) but then there's the counterbalance. Pratt is awful as Mario. I'll leave out any social injustices of not finding someone of proper ethnicity, mostly because they didn't get a giant dragon turtle to voice Bowser or a mushroom to voice Toad. Besides, Mario's whole Italian thing always felt vaguely offensive anyhow. Beyond that though, Pratt can't stick to an accent to save his life. Sometimes he just sounds like Pratt, sometimes he's got a stereotypical Brooklyn affectation and sometimes he's throwing in hints of an Italian accent. There's zero consistency and that's kinda rough for the TITULAR/MAIN CHARACTER!

Oh, and let's talk about Bowser. I love Jack Black, he's hilarious and brilliant and has so much of his own style. "Peaches?" Son has been in my head and will not leave. The fact that I've listened to it repeatedly since the movie ended might have something to do with it. It's great. He's great. He's not Bowser. He's Jack Black reading Bowser's lines. It's weird, because I think back to when he played Po in Kung Fu Panda and I was fine with it then, but that character felt like it was designed for him. Bowser is a long standing property though and Black's voice just doesn't seem to disappear into that character so much as overwhelm it. Then there's the whole love of Peach thing that just felt really ham-fisted and clunky.

Seth Rogen as DK was bad too. Similar reasons but I've come to expect this of him. Rogen is Rogen and DK is not Rogen.

Again, I know it sounds like I hated this movie and I don't. I don't like it. Found it pretty underwhelming overall. I think it's vacuous and simplistic in a desperate attempt by a large company to finally break into a medium they have been shunned from for years. But, I'm not the target audience and I think kids will LOVE this (and the box office and buzz seems to support that). And that's great, legitimately. It just isn't for me. I can't imagine that I'd ever watch this again, but I can also think back to the glory days of VHS and how many kids would burn out the tape on this one.

The Whale (2022)

The Whale

[9/10 · 25 September 2023]

That Aronofsky. Dude knows how to catch a vibe in a movie. Now, going into this, I'd seen Black Swan and Mother! And LOVED both of them. There's something about his style. The way he's cerebral but emotive, the way it's so focused on reality while reality spirals out of control and merges with the unreal. The way he embraces the metaphor, the allegory, the poetry of it while still keeping a foot in our world. Raving about Aronofsky aside, I really wasn't feeling this at first. Most of the first act of this movie had me pretty bored and wondering if this was going to be a whiff from him. But then it kept going, kept drawing me in. Fraser is exceptional in this, deserves every iota of praise he gets because he takes this character and really just breathes life into him, he makes this perfectly flawed, lovable, awful, self-destructive... Human. He's so very human. From the way he speaks, to the things that get him excited, to the manipulations and the expressions and the pain. Just so very human.

Now, I watched this on Mother's Day with my mother. Her choice, not mine. She didn't feel like going out, so we stayed in, chatted for a while, decided to order dinner. Olive Garden, which people who know, know. Olive Garden is small town fancy. So we've got our OG, she decides on The Whale of all movies and I'm slurping on some soup, trying to get into the first act and then... By about the halfway point I realize I've stopped eating. Now, part of that is likely the subject matter, but beyond that, I'm just so engrossed in the story before me, the characters going through their lives that my tortellini are going cold in front of me and I do not care. By the end, I was in tears. I want Fraser in all the things. And I realize that I'mma be eating my pasta the next day.

This was a stupendous film. There is no doubt in my mind that Fraser deserved his Oscar (admittedly, haven't seen Aftersun or Living but still). Honestly, I'd go so far as to say it was snubbed from Best Picture. Don't think it should have won, but I'd put it in there over Maverick or Elvis. Easily. And I've seen Elvis about a dozen times, quite like it. It's not a better movie than this. Maverick is... Fine. It's a great action movie, but it's not best picture unless we're in one of the Everything Everywhere universes where best picture is decided by action scenes. The Whale is a moving character study and I will always put that over hollow action or overly schmaltz'd up biopics.

The Founder (2016)

Founder

[9/10 · 25 September 2023]

For some reason, this movie always felt very unassuming to me. The Founder! Keaton playing the guy that did a thing with McDonalds. Everyone said it was good, great even, but it never felt like some inspired masterpiece I needed to rush out and see.

Then I let it run on Netflix and suddenly I'm transfixed. I'm glued to the screen. Keaton is electric. He plays an a-hole so well that it actually makes me feel a touch sympathetic for the real people in his life. Offerman is always a delight and he's rock solid here. Lynch is good, actually think he's underplaying this one a little too much but still good. The story is compelling, it falls right in line with the likes of Whiplash for me, asking that question "What is the cost of greatness and is it one worth paying?"

The story isn't all that surprising, really. Going into it I felt it was pretty obvious what was going to happen, yet through every step it was captivating. Really a strong watch that I would absolutely recommend to others. Absolutely worth a buy even.

Catch Me If You Can (2002)

CMIYC

[7/10 · 25 September 2023]

So, I am on record as not liking Hanks. I tend to find his whole schtick to be tired, tedious and dull. He's always the good 'ole boy. Even in roles he's supposed to be... Less good, he doesn't quite manage and then I think of things like Elvis where he was meant to be the villain and he may as well have been twirling a mustache the whole time.

BUT! Leo is usually amazing, he brings an edge and intensity to things that I really enjoy. Throw in the fact that this movie has been highly praised by a lot of people with opinions I tend to heed, I figured why not. And, I was pleasantly surprised. Maybe it's because this is really Leo's movie and Hanks is just chasing after him, the Coyote to his Road Runner. Maybe it's the fascinating questions of morality, of good and evil, right and wrong as it relates to our upbringing. Was Leo really a bad person? He'd been raised this way his whole life, taught that this was the way to do things, the way to succeed, to be validated. By the time he reached consequences, he was too deep to stop, he was too far gone. Or is the onus forever on him? Should he have spurned the upbringing and tried to fit into societal norms? He wasn't really hurting anyone, but it was still against the rules laid out. This kind of discourse, this ethical and psychological question that the movie raises is what draws me in.

It was a good watch. Not a single regret. Not gonna be an all-timer for me, but still very good. Leo counteracts most of Hanks' mediocrity, and even that is a touch more lively here. It's a little... All over the place at times, but beyond that I think it's a solid recommend. Glad I saw the Steelbook a while back, 100% worth buying this one.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (2015)

MEDG

[9/10 · 25 September 2023]

I think it is truly the mark of a great movie when you can go into it having heard great things, having expectations lifted and elevated, only for the film to still rise above that. This did that for me. I heard, from multiple sources, how good it was, but I wasn't expecting the quirky nature of it nor the reality. This falls into that short list of movies that feels as though it accurately depicts the awkwardness, the difficulties and the strains of teen life. It's weird, it's difficult, there are rules and there aren't rules and these kids each feel so real throughout it all. The self-awareness and the creativity used in the storytelling really adds something special and the gut punches each feel earned and honest, rather than some of the forced, insincere tripe we are subjected to elsewhere.

Really a solid experience which once again proves, above all else... Nick Offerman is amazing at all times. Oh, and Molly Shannon. Molly Shannon brings this weird energy with her to everything I've ever seen her in and somehow it's always perfect, yet she is not in a lot of stuff. I hope that's a decision on her part and not because people aren't casting her, because she has got some serious talent that I would not mind seeing more often.

Devotion (II) (2022)

Majors Devotion

[5/10 · 25 September 2023]

Really only picked this one up because I saw Johnathan Majors on the cover. After watching it though, this is a pretty generic and mediocre war movie. The fact that it is really hitting hard on the race relations side of things also just didn't quite sit well with me. It felt less like someone trying to tell a story and more like someone giving a sermon and that always rubs me the wrong way. There's a whole section of this where the guys are in France dealing with racists and all I could think was... Were the French still dealing with that stuff then? Might be the ignorant American in me but I feel like France didn't have the same issues with black people at this time, at the very least not to this extent.

It really just feels like another in a long line of Hollywood's poor attempts to make up for a long history of racism. If they'd somehow integrated that more into the story, rather than the story just seeming to exist to facilitate the next lesson, this would've been a better movie. Especially because Majors is selling the ever loving bejesus out of this. But that's quite possibly just because he's great at what he does.

Parasite (2019)

Para Para... Parasite!

[8/10 · 25 September 2023]

I wish I could hop in a DeLorean Phone Booth and travel back in time. Not all that long ago, just to a place before Parasite became ubiquitous with greatness. It's my own fault, coming to it late. At first, I didn't get to it because of life, then I avoided it because of the hype, then I felt like I needed to wait till the right moment to properly enjoy it but the hype never quite died down, did it?

Watching this now, I can't say a bad thing about it. It's brilliantly shot, everything tracks and makes sense on the screen. The story is fascinating and feels fresh and different. The acting is all spot on, even managing to make characters that really shouldn't be likable... Likable. The metaphors laid out are relevant and neither feel like they are assaulting you or like you need an advance degree in film theory to understand. It's all good stuff.

So why don't I love this movie? I liked it. I did. But I wanted to come away from it with a sense of awe. I wanted to feel the masterpiece that is Parasite, like the rest of the world seems to have felt it. Instead, I feel like it's good, really good even, but I don't quite get the hype. If I had to put my finger on it, I'd say it's probably because I don't connect with the characters all that much, save for one. Everyone else here felt pretty basic to me.

I absolutely plan to watch this again. I want to uncover what's here, I want to see what everyone else sees in it. As of right now though, definitely haver to put Snowpiercer above this one, in my own personal preference rankings.

The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)

In Bruges 2

[8/10 · 25 September 2023]

Farrell and Gleeson can just do all the movies together now, right? These two just work so well together, especially in these contentious relationships they seem to get put in. Banshees is by no means In Bruges, but that is absolutely what first drew me to it. Rather than hitmen though, it's the story of two friends that just... Stop being friends. That seems kinda bland, but this movie was captivating as hell. Beyond that, it really highlights these ideological trenches we can dig ourselves into. The way we commit to something, then refuse to back down from that, even when there's no apparent reason for it in the first place and instead of simply reverting, people double down and get crazier and crazier.

Great movie, strong recommend. Condon deserves way more work than she's getting because she was really something here. Only drawback, and this is 100% not an objective thing, but I don't like Barry Keoghan. Something about the guy is just off putting to me. I can't say he did anything wrong here, but his presence on screen is never an enjoyable one. Beyond that though, really think this one is worth at least a single watch.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)

Ant Man 3

[6/10 · 25 September 2023]

Oh Marvel. I remember once when you were fun. You were appointment movie going. People clamored for the next movie and I would rush out to the theatre the first week to go and see it because I knew, I KNEW, that whatever you put on screen, it was going to be fun. It might not make me think too much, it might not evoke deep thought or emotion, but it'd be pure fun. Then came COVID and my faith was shaken. It's funny, because there was a line from Iron Man 2, "If you make God bleed, then people will no longer believe in him." Marvel, you're bleeding.

Quantomania is... Fine. There were moments that were funny, but beyond that this movie was utter nonsense. There were no stakes, no sense of what was going on, if anything mattered, it didn't even try to... WHY WERE THERE PEOPLE DOWN THERE?! The only real saving graces here were in the actors. Rudd is as charming and funny as ever. Douglas had some amazing moments that were just really fun. And Majors. Wow. Great great job. I have questions as to how his powers shifted throughout the movie, but that's not him. He gave that character some serious gravitas and interest.

For the time being, Marvel was still able to put enough fun in this movie to overwhelm all the stupid, but only just. Those margins are getting thinner and thinner. As someone who has loved these characters since childhood, long before the MCU was a thing, I really hope they sort themselves out because I would love to return to the days when these movies were just raw fun.

12 Angry Men (1957)

A Dozen Grumps

[8/10 · 25 September 2023]

Ooooooh this is my jam right here. Give me a dialogue driven movie that's just people talking about things in an engaging way and I am here for it! Really great stuff here but the problem with these movies is in reviewing them. The dialogue is aged and doesn't always feel like it still works. The sense of time is way off, it never really feels like this event is taking place for any more than the run time of the movie, but clearly, based on some clues, they're in there longer than that. Yet, despite those things, it's still just riveting to watch. I was hooked to every line of dialogue, every point being made and a touch saddened by how familiar some of this still sounds. Regardless, it was a great time and I'd strongly recommend it to anyone.

Event Horizon (1997)

Horizon Event

[7/10 · 25 September 2023]

I really want a modern remake of this. We've gotten countless stupid properties refreshed, I wanna see this given some fresh life. The space horror genre feels so thin sometimes. Yes, there are movies out there, good ones even, but for every solid space horror, there's about four dozen nonsense slashers. Event Horizon felt different. It felt original. We go to space. How do we solve the faster than light issue? Wormhole. But what if that wormhole goes someplace... Not so nice. It was creepy, well acted, solid effects and just a genuinely interesting movie experience. Having listened to a couple reviews, I'm lead to believe it's like a Hellraiser in Space? Haven't seen the Hellraiser movies but even if it is, I'm good with that.

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

B&B

[7/10 · 25 September 2023]

Old school Disney movies have been tricky for me. They just don't seem to hold up well when going back and actually watching them, expecting them to stand upon reality rather than memory. Beauty and the Beast? This one was still enjoyable though. I loved how independent Belle was. She got imprisoned by this monster and she didn't just immediately roll over and decide to love the jerk. Now, eventually she did develop some pretty strong feelings of Stockholm Syndrome, but I appreciate the journey taken to get there. Gaston is a monster, one that I think pop culture has weirdly downplayed into a comic oaf, but no this dude is straight up awful.

All in all, fun movie. Glad I rewatched it. Will not be able to get the songs out of my head for a while.

The Little Mermaid (1989)

OG Mermaid

[5/10 · 25 September 2023]

It is getting harder and harder to look at some of these older movies without modern sensibilities and ethics seeping in. This one was... Beautiful singing, some great songs that have lingered in pop culture consciousness since this films inception but the messages, the ideas in this were really hard to swallow in 2023. Girl falls in love with someone at first sight and literally has to change herself in order to be suitable for him, gives up her voice to make him like her... Everything about this movie from a 'message' standpoint is so cringe that it's actually a little on the uncomfortable side from time to time.

Honestly, after I finished watching it this time, I wished I hadn't. I wish I had just let it linger in my memory, the happy tale of Caribbean Crabs singing about life under the sea, a colorful tale of love and self-discovery. The reality that was refreshed for me was far more disappointing.

X (II) (2022)

Y?

[6/10 · 25 September 2023]

Zero expectations or knowledge about this movie when I turned this one on. I knew it was a horror movie and that was it. Watching it, I could feel the love that the creators had for the old age of horror movies, the era of slashers and all the things that Scream once dissected and made light of, an age of horror movie rules where you expect sex to equal death and the final girl to surmount all odds and take on the horrible entity terrorizing them.

The idea of this movie seems like something I should have really enjoyed. The reality of it was more underwhelming. I never found myself connecting to the characters, so when things start to go awry, I had no investment in their existence. They were just red shirts in a horror movie. I expected them to die and most of them met that expectation. It was fine. It never really tipped the scales into love, never into hate, it lingered in the realm of quiet acceptance of what was going on, a positive tolerance that never reached proper enjoyment.

Rocky (1976)

Rocky 1

[5/10 · 25 September 2023]

So, hot take and I am not going to make many friends with this one... I don't think Rocky is very good. It's filmed on a shoestring budget, it seems. Stallone's "acting" is obnoxious. Adrian is a dead fish with zero personality or energy that he basically stalks. Carl Weathers is the best part of this movie and the only thing in it worth watching.

I do give it credit for the ending. I knew it was coming, but considering when this came out I'm impressed they ended it like they did. Maybe that's part of the problem. This movie has been hyped up to me my whole life. Rocky is this great bit of pop culture history, something I had never seen and now, finally marking it off the list and frankly, I was bored. I wanted it to be over. I imagine if I had the nostalgia to back it up, maybe this would be a different story but without that, it was really an underwhelming flick.

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022)

Boseman Forever

[5/10 · 25 September 2023]

I find myself conflicted as the credits roll on Wakanda Forever, asking myself a question that I think a lot of people will ask. Should this franchise have died with Boseman?

That's not meant to be disrespectful, quite the opposite, actually. Boseman was the Panther and beyond just playing the roll, he brought something to it that made it resonate with people. Without him... I just don't think this movie works. There's good stuff here, they doubled down on the cultural significance, which is fantastic. The action and cinematography is better. The music is solid. But I am so often just wishing Boseman was in these scenes, anchoring them and making me care.

Its also hard to ignore the strangely pervasive Iron Man influence here. As an Iron Man fan, I should be happy about that, but in reality I found myself asking, "Seriously? Is this just a requirement now? Anyone with significant tech shows that by building an Iron Man-esque suit?" Again, I didn't hate this movie but it felt like every time I was starting to enjoy something, there would come a counterweight. That's never more obvious than it is in our primary antagonist, a character I very much like yet, while I appreciate what they were trying to do, I just could not get on board with this interpretation.

Ultimately, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever seems like a cast of decent supporting characters desperately seeking a lead. These actors are solid, I know they can do great work, but these characters were seemingly never designed to stand on their own two feet. They were only ever meant to be set dressing, accents and facilitators to the main character's journey. Its clear that Shuri is meant to fill that role, but she doesn't and no amount of quips, one liners or robo-pals will fix that.

I'd still say this one is worth a watch, but I really don't see myself going back to it again.

Men (2022)

Man

[6/10 · 25 September 2023]

Well. This is not what I was expecting when I picked this one up. Garland is a visionary, there's no getting around that. Having now seen three of his, I believe, five directed films there's no denying that he is an exceptionally gifted visual storyteller that likes to layer his work with allegory and metaphor. Both Ex Machine and Annihilation were very much enjoyed by me and as soon as I saw his name on this one, I was pretty much sold.

Then I watched it.

So, let's get to it. Once more, this film is a spellbinding feast for the eyes. Disturbingly so. The last act is just... I couldn't look away despite desperately wanting to at times. Along with those visuals, is a lingering tension, a curiosity to what is actually happening that drew me in and had me glued to the screen. The metaphor is... Haunting and uncomfortable. I was reminded of Gabe from The Office as he described cinema of the unsettling. So much of this is really unpleasant to look at, to see. I'm pretty sure that's what he's going for so... Yay? The acting is all top notch, no complaints here for either of the stars and huge props for the feat that was achieved for one of them.

Problem is... There's nothing else to this. I wanted an explanation, I wanted to understand, and while I'm fairly certain I get what Garland was going for, I could've used a little more reality amidst all of the abstract. That's not always a problem, I would consider Mother! A film built on metaphor without any real anchor in reality and I loved that. Men just doesn't quite get there for me. I was constantly wondering how all of this works. How she keeps seeing these people and never questioning the obvious. When the final act arrives and things get absolutely bonkers, I'm sitting there asking how, something I was prepared to look passed until it became obvious that this wasn't just some fever dream of our protagonist, not some nightmare scenario for her eyes only but a reality of the world. It tries to flirt with reality while living in insanity and it never quite struck the ideal balance for me. Is there just a pile of bodies in that house now? Theoretically someone else is eventually going to see that. What's the explanation for it?

As the credits rolled, I realized I had seen something wildly artistic but somehow lacking. A remarkable thing to behold, but not fulfilling. I don't even know if I can say I'm glad to have seen it. It exists. I watched it. I will remember having watched it. I don't think I'll want to watch it again. I don't know if I'm better for having seen it. But I watched it! I really don't think I'd recommend this to most people. It can be downright gruesome, disturbing and unsettling at times without a satisfactory payoff. If you're looking to see something different and unlike most other things out there? This is definitely going to fit that bill.

Lincoln (2012)

Daniel Day Lincoln

[8/10 · 25 September 2023]

Spielberg makes good movies. Day-Lewis knows how to act. You put those together... It'd be hard for this to be a bad movie. Seriously, not sure what else there is to say. It's a Spielberg movie starring DDL. It's really good. Oddly reminds me of Amsterdam, in so much as Amsterdam is an example of a movie driven by this huge ensemble cast and being pretty disappointing as a byproduct. Then you look at Lincoln, which has a sneakily large cast and is full of all sorts of people that had me going "Oh wow, they're in this too?" But it all coalesces into something cohesive.

Only real issue I have in this is the sense of time. It can be hard to tell at points how much time has passed between different scenes. It's a minor complaint but it did pull me out of the experience a couple of times. Also, I like Goggins and shall forever hold fond remembrance for his sperm-laden line readings on Community, but he felt out of place here. He has a certain manic energy that didn't seem to mesh properly with the rest of the film. Those two points are pretty nitpick-y, admittedly, but still they exist.

Really solid movie though and would recommend it to most.

Lamborghini: The Man Behind the Legend (2022)

Lambo

[4/10 · 25 September 2023]

This movie was beyond pointless. "Sometimes, the cost of greatness is happiness." End of movie. It's just so mediocre, so bland and it never hits any of the beats it needs to. I never feel invested in what's going on, never care about any of these characters, most of whom are pretty underwhelming people. I actually quite like Grillo in the right role, but this is certainly not it. Give me more action movies, give me more tough guy Grillo, it's what he's good at. Not to say that he's the problem here, I think he actually gives a decent performance, but he's not good enough to elevate a truly meh script. This thing fumbles and bumbles its way through the life of Lamborghini and never once hits a pivotal moment in a meaningful way.

Solid example of bad writing and bad directing here. If ever there was a sign of a truly wasted effort, its knowing that I will need to read my own review again in the future, because this movie made zero impression. No joy nor anger to linger with me, just a middling bit of nothing.

Amsterdam (2022)

Meh-sterdam

[4/10 · 25 September 2023]

Big cast movies always seem like such a cash grab. Some producers out there get this idea into their head that if they just stack the cast with enough names then the movie will be a surefire success. Then there's movie fans who know that, more often than not, these end up being a huge mess. They might make money, but that doesn't make them good. Amsterdam is one of the latter.

For the record, I think our three leads? Not terrible, but it's so obvious they have nothing to work with. It feels like this thing was being made up as they went along and no one had any clue what they were doing. The story is nonsensical, the stylizations are meant to be quirky, I'm guessing, but only serve to keep the movie from having any rhythm or flow. Its remarkably disjointed, nothing ever seems to come together and in the end, there's no suitable payoff. It feels like it's trying so hard to be the love child of Wes Anderson and Tarantino with its erratic and nonconsecutive storytelling but fails to understand the nuance and skill that actually takes.

The truly disappointing thing is, I want to like this movie. Bale is being weird, Washington is starting a great career and Robbie is always captivating but this is just a letdown at every possible opportunity. It never got to the point of being overtly awful but, to quote mother's everywhere, "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed."

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (2015)

Rogue Nation

[7/10 · 25 September 2023]

Feel like this is going to be an unpopular opinion, but I really struggle to see the difference between these movies and the Fast and the Furious franchise sometimes. They both center around a group of people who view themselves like a family, made up of insane personalities and skillsets. Each pretty much ignores the laws of reality whenever it suits them and has a lead that is, essentially, invulnerable. Cruise gets in a horrible, high-speed motorcycle accident during this while wearing the equivalent of a t-shirt and jeans and somehow manages to just get up and walk the five miles back to base? No. The constant use of this stupid face mask thing? Mmmm-no.

Where this movie definitely has a leg up over Fast though is in the cinematography. It is shot beautifully. The stunts are famously incredible. Oh, and it has Simon Pegg, which pretty much gives it an instant +1 in my book.