conmech Reviews

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

IMDB ratings are worthlesss to me now.

[4/10 · 2 February 2022]

This movie, written by and for low IQ people who are too slow to understand the jokes in the original movies, is the proof that left fascism is as real as the right one: IMDB will openly rig the rating system in a secret way saying "we won't disclose our averaging system". I'm sorry IMDB, but how can every age group's average is lower than 6, but the general average becomes 6.9? You know, at least right fascists were open about it. They weren't hiding behind some cute buzzwords to make themselves look like they care about democracy or freedom of expression. This movie tries to make up its low quality in writing, acting and humor with attacking men at every opportunity, and then calling the people who don't like it "misogynist". But I guess this is the Hollywood norm now. So IMDB if you wanna go down with the rest of the Hollywood, keep on taking us for idiots. I'm an indie filmmaker myself, and sure as hell I won't be opening my indie movie to your rating system. Because it's as worthless as Eurovision points. You just put whatever you like and call it "undisclosed system"

Amerikali Kiz (2018 TV Movie)

Ok Gibi Film

[2/10 · 21 March 2021]

Nobody would review this movie so I'll do it.

In the first 5 mins I realized the film is technically somewhat competent. And it was a disappointment for me. I knew I wouldn't be able to watch a perfect bad movie like Çanakkale Çocuklari or Bay E. Turns out his wife is back to be the cinematographer.

But don't worry, the amazing(ly bad) acting of the director's son, and Mehmet Aslan, the cringeworthy script, and the director constantly talking like giving a movie commentary helps to make it a classic Sinan Çetin film.

He must be the best father ever, for he gave his son a lead role where no one else would, hires a Hollywood actress and writes a love making scene with them. Too bad he couldn't afford a hotter star.

2 stars because this time it actually looks like a film (most of the time).

Laz Kit (2020)

A Solid Entry From Yorgos Lanthimos

[2/10 · 18 February 2020]

Although not as well known as his more popular movies like Dogtooth or the Lobster, Yorgos Lanthimos once again makes a strong attempt to explore human psychology

-Spoiler- A troubled man has four daughters and wishes nothing more than getting them married, but unfortunately the daughters are so ugly, nobody wants them. That's why he enters his own fantasy dream world where Lucky Luke and the Daltons visit his village to marry his daughters. -Spoiler-

Like a classic Lanthimos piece, the movie starts light-hearted, but goes darker as it progresses, hitting you with the terrible truth in the end. That fun and happines is only a figment of your imagination, and the reality is cold and dark, drifting aimlessly forever in the dark ocean we call life, without knowing the right direction.

To be honest, this movie is not a perfect piece, nor is the best of Lanthimos. For example, the Daltons are all white males, there was supposed to be more diversity throughout the brothers, which is a setback from the progressive climate of 2019. Joe should have been a real midget, but instead they used a short person to act as a midget, which is basically a cultural appropriation. The tall one Avarel could have been an African American. Not to mention, Lucky Luke should have been a female character, to support the strong female leads in modern cinema. Nevertheless, if you can ignore these minor flaws, and if you're a Lanthimos fan like myself, you'll find alot to enjoy from this movie. Especially the unique cinematography where Lanthimos decides to break every rule in the book, to hint us once again that reality is nothing but what we make it to be.

Team America: World Police (2004)

Thank You For Making This Film

[9/10 · 15 June 2019]

I was wondering why this movie never had a sequel because it looks like a no-brainer. Unfortunately I realized the makers of the movie hated making it because the puppets were hard to work with, the movie didn't make bring too much money, and there was a lot of critical backlash, even the liberal actors hated it. I feel like the movie was made just for me. First of all, I never laughed at a movie this hard for years. Everything is great about this movie. How they worked on the animatronics, the references, easter eggs, THE SONGS. Trey Parker is just a natural talent. Plus, I appreciate it as a person living in the middle east, because it's still the best movie which pokes fun at USA claiming to bring peace to the middle east while invading it for its own benefit, and actually bringing more misery. So once again, thank you guys for everything.

The Narrow World (2017)

If You Didn't Like It, You Probably Didn't Get It

[10/10 · 23 October 2017]

At the first viewing, I really thought this film was all that it was showing, about an alien robot. And I gave it a 9 nevertheless, because even though it was just that, the concept and the cinematography was brilliant. But at the second viewing when I wanted to show it to my friends, I realized the last scene. And went back and watched it again, and a third time with my wife, and a fourth time. So I can say with absolute confidence this is actually something much different, with clues given all throughout the film. If you haven't watched it, don't read on because it contains major spoilers.

• SPOILERS - . . . . . 1) There is no alien robot. It's the guy's imagination. That is for certain. Here are just a few clues: * At the end where the robot vanishes was the first clue for me, which made me go back and watch again. * The picture of the alien at his back, at one close-up scene you'll realize it's from a sci-fi magazine. So he probably saw it and imagined the whole thing. * The fact that we see towards the end, that his "office" is actually an abandoned warehouse. * In the beginning he says "everyone thought it was a comet" Well, it actually WAS a comet. * All the things the psychologist woman saying about out inner thoughts surfacing. * What happened to the 5-6 other aliens which came? Nothing because they didn't exist either. * All throughout the film, you actually see the guy is a little crazy. * They ask the woman "what happened?" And she says "something metaphorical came between us"

2) The woman is actually talking about the man who went crazy. She's not talking about an alien or something.

3) For the military man, I have 2 ideas. He's the guy in the bus which the crazy guy takes everyday to go to the beach. So either the crazy guy saw him and imagined him to be the retired defence secretary, or he actually is a retired defense secretary who thinks this lunatic who "keeps on telling everyone that there's an alien" is a threat. Since he's retired, he doesn't have anything better to do so he follows him everyday to check if he's a potential threat.

There are lots of more details in every scene which I didn't write here, and probably even more which I missed. After all, this is the only short film, along with "Unedited Footage of a Bear" that I gave 10 out of 10. Because this is how a short film is supposed to be. It would be worse if it was a feature length movie.

Warrior (2011)

Don't Watch The Trailer - And Don't Read the Plot on IMDb

[9/10 · 30 August 2017]

I get that companies have to show some cool stuff to attract the audience. But the trailer gives some key plot elements (as does the "PLOT" section on IMDb), as well as some MAJOR SPOILERS. For the first time, we have a movie, where there are 2 protagonists and 2 antagonists, which means the final fight, and the winner is not determined, and could be anyone. The only problem is, they show A LOT on the trailer, that you pretty much know how the end will be. Just watch it without the trailer, IMO finally we have a more evolved version of Rocky here.

Turist Ömer Uzay Yolunda (1973)

The Funniest Turkish Movie Ever

[8/10 · 7 September 2014]

Without a doubt this film is the funniest Turkish film ever made. I wish you guys knew Turkish so you could understand the funniest scenes like Turist Omer breaking down the main computer by asking him silly questions, or getting on Spock's nerves. Many people think this is like "Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam (aka Turkish Star Wars)" but it's not. Dunyayi Kurtaran Adam was also OK but it was a ripoff and not intended to be a comedy. "Turist Omer Uzay Yolunda (Turkish Star Trek)" on the other hand is asking the question "what if a Turk was among the crew of Star Trek". Another great thing about the movie is, especially Captain Kirk and Mr Spock look and act exactly like in the TV series, not a single exaggeration. Love this movie. It's the funniest Turkish movie ever made, and Sadri Alisik is the funniest Turkish actor ever lived.

Rocky Balboa (2006)

It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward

[9/10 · 18 October 2008]

Even though we all know Sylvester Stallone as an actor, in my opinion he's a better director than many directors in Hollywood. I had seen the "John Rambo" movie and also the trailer of this film, so I knew it was going to be a lot better than people feared it would be.

In this movie you can see the core aspects of what makes a classic Rocky movie. It's not a boxing movie. It's a movie about life, and how to handle it. It's about facing the troubles of life, taking the hits, and still keep moving forward. It's an inspiration for the "underdogs", who have nothing in their hand but their will, their heart, and their determination. Believe it or not, watching this film made me wake up from my depression and decide to get back on my feet to fight again.

And the ending was also very meaningful. I was expecting an ending like this, because what Rocky was after wasn't a title, or points. He was after getting over himself, his troubles, and getting back the love of his fans. He got up there and fought the way he wanted, and that was all it mattered to him, and he was happy just like he won the match. Even this ending should be a lesson for everyone. That doing something you like and live for doesn't rely on results. The only thing that matters is you go out there and do what you do best, and give your best to it.

The shooting was beautiful. It had the ambiance of the old Rocky movies. Also, I loved the credits part where they show many people climbing the stairs where Rocky used to and doing funny boxing moves. Even that made me feel emotional. By the way, I didn't even know if Rocky was going to win or lose so I watched the match really excited like watching a real boxing match, shouting "stand up God dammit!" As a conclusion, "Rocky Balboa" is a beautiful-must see movie. Enjoy it...

Cloverfield (2008)

A First of its Kind – Believe it or Not

[9/10 · 11 July 2008]

I had always thought about a movie where they use Blair Witch handy-cam style shooting combined with high quality CGI. I dreamed of it, they made it. First of all, I love the idea that it was shot over a tape which was shot previously, so we can see from time to time what was in the tape previously. Secondly, it's a great way of shooting a Godzilla-type movie, cause you can see the panic and the chaos from every angle. From the normal people having party, all the way to seeing it above from the helicopter. It really made me feel I'm in that chaotic place and gave me the terror from the first hand. I still can't figure out how they managed to add CGI effects to a moving, zooming and auto-focusing camera. It must have been so hard for them. The only strange part was we never got to see the camera and it was shooting in standard movie quality without a filter. But that must be for the visual quality's sake. It would look so crappy if they used a real camcorder or something. I also like the movies like this one where they set up the place and act in it in a single long shoot, like the masterpiece "Children of Men".

Something else I wanna say about this movie is, it's a radical one. So you either love it or hate it. Of course some people are going to hate it cause they don't like the style. But they don't have the right to say it's a bad movie just because they don't understand it. It's like someone who doesn't like rap saying Eminem sucks.

The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007)

I could only stand it for 30 minutes...

[3/10 · 25 June 2008]

The saddest part of this movie is the good camera work and directing wasted. If you take it as a "movie", it is good. But the subject? It's nothing more than a cheap Harry Potter rip off. Come on! A loser boy discovering his powers on a birthday, living in a family with many siblings and surprisingly many brothers and one little sister and surprisingly having twin brothers who like mischief. Sorry I could stand this lameness for only 30 minutes and think about a movie on which after 30 minutes you have no interest of what's gonna happen. Harry Potter wasn't the only robbed film of course, dark riders from Lord of the rings, and "the loser guy likes a very pretty (and older looking) girl and finally he gets her thanks to his superpowers" cliché. Even that loser-pretty girl-superpower trio is enough to make me throw up (on the floor and the DVD).

Rendition (2007)

A Lesson of How to Make the Perfect Movie

[9/10 · 15 April 2008]

First of all, you should know I give 10 stars only to epic movies of my opinion. And "Rendition" is the only movie of 2007 which I gave 10 stars. I had always wondered why there is a huge amount of people working as a crew in a single movie, you just write and shoot it, what's the big deal? But watching even the first 5 minutes of this movie made me realize why those people are needed. Every scene, every second of the movie is a piece of art. And this is just the beginning. The actors are awesome, Reese Witherspoon is as brilliant as usual, the story is perfect, very complicated, very deep. For those who don't know anything about the movie; it tells the true story of an Egyptian man who gets "kidnapped" by CIA and is taken to another country because they think he's a terrorist. He gets exposed to loads of torture, while his wife doesn't even know how he got disappeared and tries to find out by the help of her friends. The storyline keeps changing and twisting throughout the movie, and the shock you will get is the reason this movie is a perfect 10. And just like any realistic movie, there's no complete good or evil. CIA's methods are debatable because they claim they saved thousands of people using this torture method. Even the bombers don't have to be evil, because they are reacting to an evil authority figure. But that evil authority figure isn't actually evil either, he's just being tough to keep order. So as you see, there's no solid right or wrong. My final word, this movie is far from the cheesiness of Hollywood. Thank you for making it.

The Abandoned (2006)

All Hail the King of Boring Movies!

[1/10 · 10 January 2008]

I have written over 20 comments by now and had given "one star" only to "Mr and Mrs Smith". The first thing I did after watching this movie was to edit that comment and make it three stars. Because now I know how bad a movie can truly be. And all the comments people made about this movie? Horrorfest? Terrifying? What the f? The makers of this movie, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Because it's obviously you guys who participated in the movie, who wrote all those positive comments. Who else would like ANYTHING about it? Please someone come up in person, saying you actually liked this movie.

Horrorfest? What are you guys smoking? It was with no question the most boring movie I've ever watched. Was I supposed to be scared by the people with white eyes? Was I supposed to be curious by the "haunted house" story which degraded even from the standard boring haunted house stories? I'll do something new in this comment and give you total spoilers, because I must do anything in my power to keep my loved ones away from this movie.

In the beginning we see a Russian family having lunch, and a truck comes in. The father checks it and finds there's a dead woman in the driver's seat and 2 babies near her. 40 years later the girl baby comes back to Russia to claim the house from her real parents. She sees a woman who looks like her except for white eyes. The white eye woman seems to just hang around instead of attacking. Then our hero find her twin brother who also came to the house. And they start seeing their past with the help of a flashlight (must be a magical one). And realize their dad was shot by their mom while he was trying to kill them as babies. And of course, this is enough to invoke the ghosts and haunt the house, cause that's that only house in the world where there was a murder. We find out the brother gets killed by boars (we don't know how or why he couldn't simply escape from a bunch of pigs). And the woman drives her truck to the river and drowns. And the best part of the movie comes, the credits...

I know I have reviewed many bad movies but there's always something in a movie which is worth watching, even to make fun of. But not this one. Just walk away and thank me for saving 1.5 hours of your life. I agree with one thing though; the director is good, as an amateur I can learn many things from him about angles and lighting. He might shoot something good in the future.

Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

The Greatest "War" Movie By Far...

[10/10 · 9 January 2008]

I never imagined there would be a movie with better war scenes than "LotR – Return of the King", but there it is. Kingdon of Heaven is a prefect movie in every aspect. It came out at a wrong time, when I was choked under the mountain of war movies, but it truly showed its superiority over the others. I always knew Riddley Scott was a good director, but with this movie he proved everyone what he's capable of. I really believe he'll be a legend director in the future like Steven Spielberg.

What I love about Riddley Scott is, all the way from "Blade Runner", he makes big scenes, and works a lot doing them. He thinks a lot wider than just the screen, which many directors can't do. I love how he builds whole cities, like in Gladiator, Blade Runner, Alien, or this movie. You get fascinated by how much work he has put in a single scene.

The war scenes are incredible. I've seen A lot of war scenes, and I couldn't help but say "wow!" every 2 minutes. The biggest superiority of the war scenes were they were shot at very wide angles so you have to make the stunts actually battle with each other, unlike the movies like "300" where u see 2-3 people per scene. He must have gone crazy trying to coordinate all those horsemen and fighters.

And last of all, I love how he reached the idea of war, crusades, and religion. As a Muslim I deeply respect him, and know it very well that wars are not caused by evil nations, but by evil people in the nations. This fact still counts today. I heard this movie outraged a part of the Christians (probably the same part who enjoy making insulting cartoons of Hz. Mohammad), so suck it up haters, Ridley Scott is the man!

Final Destination 3 (2006)

Good Trilogy

[8/10 · 7 January 2008]

It is a fact that the horror movies never give the same effect in the sequels, because it's the same topic and you already know what's going to happen. For "Final Destination", it's someone cheats death, and people start dying. However Final Destination Trilogy has been successful to entertain me every time. The main reason is, something new is added up in each movie. For this movie, it's the girl takes photos before the big accident happens, and after a few days, she realizes there are clues in each photo she has taken of how her friends are going to die. It's a good idea, and it was also applied very well to the movie, so it successfully manages to surprise and keep you curious.

Also, people start dying in more creative and vicious ways, which was bound to happen to keep the sequels alive. I like the horror movies where it SHOWS how people die instead of being lazy to make the scene and making screaming sounds and flickering shadows instead. Because it is the hardest part in a movie, making a believable, yet gross death scene. FD3 definitely didn't try to avoid that, and made a very good job, so you can experience a few more ways a person can viciously die in a freaky accident.

Deja Vu (2006)

VERY Exciting

[9/10 · 6 January 2008]

The only thing I knew about this movie was that it was produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, which is more than an enough reason to rent it. The director was Tony Scott, the director of "Enemy of Nation" which entertained and "Spy Game" which totally bored me. But this movie is like nothing else. Because; 1) The subject is very original, no you can't guess what it's about by looking at the name. Don't worry it's not some freaky Shyamalan type of movie. I have watched quite a lot movies and can easily say this was a first. Oh of course there WILL be many people who will rise up saying "this can't happen in real life". Yeah, and Godzilla can't happen either, so were you there to criticize that too? It's not a matter of "can it happen" or not, it's a matter of "does it make sense", and hell yes it does! It's so hard not to give spoilers, so all I can say is, just hold on for half an hour, and everything will start making sense.

2) Unlike many other high budget action movies, this movie IS exciting. Don't wanna give spoilers, but when you grab what the movie is about, you will realize it doesn't necessarily have a happy ending, and that's what keeps you on the edge all the time.

3) Needless to say, the producer is Jerry Bruckheimer so everything's gonna be BIG and EXPENSIVE, cars and ships and buildings blowing up in an eye feast.

So as a conclusion, I can say Mr. Bruckheimer is getting even better by adding excitement to his high budget movies.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)

The Disappointment Grows Ever More

[7/10 · 6 January 2008]

I'm considering the fact that the movies should be graded according to their own structure and not to their loyalty to their novels. And because the directing is fine, visual effects are good, actors are very strong, and the story is still interesting although it's the 5th episode, I think this movie deserves an 8 out of 10.

However, I must sat this is a HUGE disappointment for the book readers like me. I think the best adaptations were episode 1 and 2. Episode 3 was worse, 4 was worse than that. 5 is the worst adaptation by far. There were so many scenes in our heads (like the OWL exams where Harry makes charms in front of teachers, or Quidditch) which were taken out. I believe they don't have the right to kill the book like that. They could have made 2 movies, or simply make the movie 2 and a half hours. But of course they wouldn't, cause we Harry Potter fans were going to watch it no matter what, so why bother right?

Planet Terror (2007)

Zombie Movie For Fun

[8/10 · 17 December 2007]

Director Robert Rodriguez always had a special place for me, because I respected all his movies for good directing, but never enjoyed any of them. So "Planet Terror" is a first in this sense. It's a fun zombie type movie which uses aspects of old movies, including shooting, angles, music, even missing reel, and all these things were done in a creative way, not just for the sake of making a different movie. The only strange thing is, the movie takes place in the present (with latest model cell-phones and stuff) while the shooting of the movie represents the 70s or 80s. It's not a bad thing, just hard to adjust to.

Even though I said it's fun to watch, it's definitely not a funny movie, or a movie making fun of old horror movies. So if u're not into bloody horror movies, don't even think about watching this extra gory movie. I'm saying it's a "fun" movie because despite its blood and guts, it can't come even close to the suspense of movies like "28 Days Later". The main difference between those two movies is "28 Days Later" kept me on the edge of my seat, and when it was completely over I remembered to take a breath. "Planet Terror" on the other hand is a movie you can sit back and enjoy the art of gore.

One more thing, this might be a spoiler, but "Planet Terror" ends with the happiest ending I've ever seen in a zombie movie. Especially this ending is what makes "Planet Terror" an over bloody action movie rather than a horror movie. So as a conclusion, if you like zombie movies you'll definitely enjoy this one too.

Shrek the Third (2007)

Did the Writer Change?

[5/10 · 2 December 2007]

The first thing I did after watching this movie was enter IMDb.com and check if the writer has changed for "Shrek the Third". Surprisingly, it's the same story writer, which is a shame. Compared to "Shrek" and "Shrek 2", "Shrek the Third" is very shallow, both on the story and on the humor. When "Shrek" had a sequel, I was suspicious that it might be hiding behind the fame of the first movie, but I was wrong. I had enjoyed "Shrek 2" more than the first movie. Even though the first movie pretty much ended in a happily ever after way, the story of the second movie was even better than the first one, and more exciting in my opinion. So I was expecting the third to be better than both 1 and 2, but it just looks like a bad imitation of Shrek movies made by another company.

5 stars is only for the greatness of the animation. You can see how incredibly the technology of animation has evolved. But there's still no technology in the world which can make such a boring movie exciting. This is not just an animation movie, this is "Shrek", and it HAD to be funny and exciting. As I said before, there's no depth in the story. Not even logic. OK it may be an animation, it may be about fairy tales, it may be a comedy movie, but still it had to have some credibility and originality on the story for us to stick ourselves onto. The loser prince decides to take over the city, he enters the villain bar, convinces everyone to attack and terrorizes the whole city with a bar of bad guys, and even becomes a king. Also, the fairy tale spoofs were no better than before, if not weaker.

Many people say a third movie is too much for Shrek, but I disagree. It could still be fun, even better than the old ones, because Shrek is a very open story which anything can be added to. But disappointingly, instead of thinking of a new story, the writer has stretched the story of Shrek 2 to a point of boredom and lameness. I mean, it could have been Prince Charming and the villains become good too and fight against a greater evil, for the sake of taking things to a new level, this evil could be from outside the fairy world altogether. Look I wrote a better story than the actual one in 5 minutes.

Children of Men (2006)

I'm in Love With This Movie

[9/10 · 19 November 2007]

I watched this movie right after "300", and felt like cleaning my mouth with fresh water after eating something with a bad taste. This movie is probably one of the best of its kind, if not one-of-a-kind. A good movie always keeps one of your emotions at its peak while watching it, it can be fear, joy, excitement, even misery. What I felt watching this movie was admiration.

Now I would simply say "No need for words, go and watch it" but I wanna be different than the haters of this movie who cannot say anything about why they didn't like it. Actually, I intentionally searched for haters because I wanted to see what is there that someone can dislike. There are apparently many 1 stars, but they can't go further than saying "I want my money back".

So I will tell you why I loved it. The foremost reason was the directing. There was definitely more work in the movie than many CGI loaded ones. Some scenes were shot as a big chunk of 10-15 minutes, and they were the hardest and most exciting scenes. Watch out for especially 3 scenes. 1) Where the characters try to runaway with a car which doesn't start and it's going downhill 2) The inside car scene where terrorists intercept the car and attack them 3) And of course the final scene where Clive Owen is trying to get inside a building under heavy battle.

All these scenes were shot as big blocks which I couldn't understand how they were shot. Of course the director probably did it the hard way, set everything up, set the timing, and tried the same scene for tens of times until everything went smoothly. This is not all, the choice of places and setting up the scenes were brilliant. It wasn't covered with filters or heavy background music or ever-changing angles so it successfully made me feel I was there with them, in that forest, on that hill, in that car, in that building. I think Hollywood directors have a lot to learn from this movie just by watching it.

The second reason is the brilliant acting. Audience like me don't understand much from good acting but if the characters make me forget that this is just a movie and if I have have real feelings for them, this MUST be good acting. My favorites are Jasper and Kee. I would give more details but I don't wanna give any spoilers.

And I can't believe even the story was hated by some people. This movie has got exactly what a good sci-fi should have. You stick to all laws of reality, you change just one of them, and predict the reactions. This movie does this perfectly. The fact that it doesn't have a lot of CGI makeup makes the movie even more believable.

Final statement, brilliant work of art. Especially if you are interested in directing or movie-making you cannot afford to miss this movie. It will blow you away...

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)

I'm sorry I love it, I just can't help it...

[8/10 · 16 November 2007]

This movie is somewhat the opposite of "Sin City". Sin City was a movie liked by everyone and made me feel stupid for not liking it. Sky Captain is the opposite I guess, despised by everyone and made me feel immature by liking it. But the movie is just too good not to like, sorry guys.

It gives the great atmosphere of old cinema plus comic books, and it does so perfectly using flying funny looking evil robots, strange laser guns, and comic-book like dialog. And it was the first time I said to myself "wow, Angelina Jolie is actually a good actress". She's nothing like her boob-flashing movies.

And story? For me a story is good as long as it's not boring. And this is a comic-book adaptation, it was MEANT to be silly, and it didn't bother me at all since I was busy enjoying the film. If u're a stiff businessman with no shred of child imagination and if u even hated Star Wars saying "hey, this can't happen in real life", then don't watch this movie. If u're a comic-books fan, watch it and love it. It has a great atmosphere, great visual effects, and it's exciting. And it's fun to watch.

Fight Club (1999)

The Best Movie Ever Made

[10/10 · 16 November 2007]

When I entered IMDb.com the first thing I did was to check if anyone actually disliked this movie. And YES, there are people who gave the movie one star. This is a proof that every movie can be disliked by SOMEONE in the world, because Fight Club is with no argument the best movie ever made. It's the best combination of a great writer, great director, great actors, great music makers. And the outcome is a movie which needs to be watched 7-8 times to understand it. I watched it probably more than 8 times, and I still discover something new in the movie. Maybe a hidden frame, or an important word or sentence which I couldn't understand before. The enjoyment you'll get by watching it once is limited. You will like the movie more and more every time u see it and finally think it is the best movie ever made. There's no end to depth of the movie. And to my surprise, for the first time I see a movie is BETTER than its novel. The script writer took the novel, converted it into a movie script removing the boring and dull parts, and made it ready for an outstanding movie. This is actually why u need to watch it several times, because EVERY word, EVERY sentence has a meaning and no time and no line is wasted in the movie.

If you're a movie lover, you have probably seen this movie. My advice is, watch it again, and again, and again...

Sin City (2005)

Probably a good movie, but I'm too stupid to understand it.

[6/10 · 16 November 2007]

OK you may call me an idiot or at least non-intellectual for not liking this movie, but I'm sorry, that's how I feel. And since everyone else loved it, I guess it's me who doesn't understand from good movies.

First of all it's not a full length movie, it's three non-related stories that were forced to be related to each other so that three of them could make one movie. As I said before, it's just me, who just can't enjoy watching "amores perros" type of movie where the writer writes three-four short stories and tries to relate them to make a movie out of them.

Secondly, I know it's me again, but I got extremely bored and was surprised how such a violent movie can be boring. There's not much to say about a movie if u keep looking at the time while watching. I really believe this movie was famous and liked just because of its famous director Robert Rodriguez. Like for example, "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" was a hundred times better, giving that dark "comic book" atmosphere on every scene.

And I don't wanna talk about the non-needed weirdness of the movie, like the devil looking guy who we don't have any idea why he looks like that. I don't wanna talk about it cause it probably has an explanation only the comic-fans know. But what the hell, even the "Fantastic Four" movie had come up with explanations with the heroes' ridiculous super powers.

Poseidon (2006)

Good idea, exciting, but very shallow...

[7/10 · 9 November 2007]

I had rented this movie because I like the idea, a ship turning upside down and people trying to crawl out of it. Even though it's a remake, it wasn't a problem for me, since I don't know the original movie anyway. The shooting and special effects are as good as we could least expect from Wolfgang Petersen. Actually I have the feeling he used the same giant pool he had made for his "Perfect Storm", but that's just me being cheap.

Now, for the bad part. I don't know what's wrong with Hollywood movies getting shallower and shallower. It just made me angry where the movie didn't feel the need at all to tell us how or why that "rogue wave" came. I mean, is that such a usual thing that we don't even need to worry about its origin? The upside down ship is the main idea of the whole movie and we don't know why it happened? Secondly, the ending was as shallow as the beginning. People got saved, started laughing altogether and it was all fine.

And something which I just couldn't understand. Maybe it's me who doesn't know physics well enough, but when the windows shattered and the room filled with water and the ship still hadn't sunk, couldn't ANYONE have just swam out of the windows? Even just one person? As a conclusion; if u borrow this movie from someone, or if your friend invites you over and has this movie, it's fun to watch it. But if u're gonna rent a DVD yourself, there are a lot better movies out there which will beat this one in every category.

Transformers (2007)

Good movie, but definitely less than I expected...

[8/10 · 9 November 2007]

I waited for months for this movie to come out and I expected A lot from it. And it wasn't my fault doing so, before it came out two of my favorite directors, Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay said: "This movie is going to blow you away". I mean, they're Michael Bay and Spielberg. Also the trailer was amazing, giving the feeling the movie is going to be a cool, action packed, serious movie, and not like an episode from the cartoon. And it DID start as an awesome movie; a helicopter that was supposed to be a wreck comes out of nowhere, transforms and attacks with incredible visual effects. The next robot scene with the scorpion robot was also awesome, and until that moment I was so glad that I finally have another movie which I can buy and watch over and over again. But when the robots started to talk, things started going down. They lost all their coolness thanks to stupid conversations, the visual effects got somewhat worse and there came a moment where the camera just started moving around too fast to hide the flaws in the visual effects. And worst of all, Michael Bay HAD TO put his classic cheap humour from "Bad Boys II" or "Pearl Harbour" to this movie as well. I'm sorry but, most things robots do or the guy says is not funny, they're just boring parts to make the movie look longer. And HOW did Bumblebee start talking again? I thought it was only in ancient Turkish movies where people recover from major handicaps by getting hit by a car, blind people start seeing, deaf people start hearing. There's also a part which I looked up in the Goofs section but couldn't find it. When the robots were asked how they learned English they say "from the internet". But they had to come down all the way near a car store and look at the vehicles to analyse in order to disguise like them. Why didn't they just check the internet for incredible amount of information about any type of vehicle? I never like looking for mistakes in a movie and I try to enjoy as much as I can but, this is just humiliating the audience. Definitely less than what I expect from Michael Bay. Nevertheless I'm giving it an 8 out of 10 cause the good scenes are REALLY good, and they manage to make the movie a "must-see".

Blood Diamond (2006)

Still Wanna Buy That Diamond Ring?

[10/10 · 8 November 2007]

Blood Diamond is the perfect movie which pokes in your eyes how many lives it takes to buy that piece of "shiny stone". Since the diamond market is definitely a huge one, at the end of the movie there is a text which tries to encourage us to buy "clean diamond". Why buy diamond at all? Even apes don't try to seduce their females with shiny rocks. Anyway, "Blood Diamond" is not just a movie limited with a good story, it is packed with good acting and good quality action scenes. In my opinion the most memorable scene was where little children get drugged and become killers, giving themselves English nicknames, like "I am, master of disaster", "I am, see me no more" I had watched "Lord of War" right before this movie. Those bloody diamonds are what two movies have in common and I think both of them must be seen. There's definitely a huge amount of work put in the movie, sometimes I was feeling I was the director and getting exhausted just watching the movie. And it definitely has the most important aspect of a masterpiece; when the movie is over, you just wanna restart the DVD and watch it all over again.