Bub_the_zombie Reviews

The Freeway Maniac (1989)

Stunts - Stunts - Stunts - A cheap way to make a so called slasher-horror film and have a little padding to it.

[4/10 · 10 April 2008]

1) Arthur, a seemingly precocious little boy, is caught spying on his Mother and her drunk 'bad guy' boyfriend while having sex. We already have a rip off of a number of films - HALLOWEEN - The Boogeyman (which also ripped of Halloween.) - Nightmare In A Damaged Brain - I could go on and on. He brutally stabs mom and boyfriend to death with a large butcher's knife. Did little Arthur go to elementary school with little Mikey Myers? Did Mikey teach Arthur a few things? Or, did he just try and mimic what he saw Mikey do? I guess cinema and reality are just another form of each other.

2) Arthur is all grown up now. He's now a very large, muscular man in which the guards are self aware that he's one of the most dangerous patients in the asylum, but they're more worried about a basketball game to use common sense when opening Arthur's door. Eventually, Arthur murders a few guards and escapes where he goes on a cross country trip to find the actress he fancied for years on television. "For God's sake he can't even drive a car." "Maybe someone around there gave him lessons." 3) The aforementioned actress also has a lot of problems of her own. Her agent wants her to appear in a low budget 'sci-fi, slasher, monster, zombie film. The producer doesn't even know where he wants to go with the movie and has no more money to pay his crew. The beautiful blond actress stops at a gas station where an oversexed middle aged mechanic tries to persuade her into giving in via force. Of course, she resists. A customer pulls in at the right time - The actress runs from the wannabe rapist only to discover that it's a big young man with blood on her face. Old Arthur recognizes her right off the bat. The oversexed mechanic has a change of heart and tries to help the girl, only to be killed by the hands of Arthur. The actress escapes and here we go again.

3) Arthur goes cross country - stealing cars, trucks, and eventually an 18 wheeler. (Keep in mind that Arthur has been locked up ever since he was a kid and can somehow drive an 18 wheeler with 16 gears) The movie takes a turn from familiar slasher territory into a semi-action film with TONS of big-muscular stunt men biting the pavement or desert sand by the hands of Arthur.

4) We see more of the sleazy producer as we're taken to the movie set - right in the middle of the desert. A great location where no one has to be paid for setting up shop in their location. A paradox of the movie itself. Arthur also steals a motorcycle - kills a bunch of muscular buffoons and finally makes his way to the set where he eventually kills the sleazy producer, dresses up in a monster uniform and does his real life gig in front of the camera un announced. After pretending to be an alien monster, he soon gets a little too rough with the actress and his cover is blown. Arthur gets taken down and the rest is history.

Nightmare (1981)

Trashy, sexually depraved and murderous intentions

[4/10 · 9 December 2007]

A depressing and trashy slasher that was released at the height of the slasher craze in the early 80's. It delves in sexual depravity and bloodlust - Ill thoughts and murderous intentions towards less than wholesome women. It deals mostly with a maniac's return to his family (ala Halloween) after being released from the mental institution after the doctors thought he was cured. All this after he murders his mother and father (at the age of ten) while he and his mistress are doing a little bondage type foreplay.

Bloody, Gory - Make sure you wanna go emo for a day if you decide to watch this film. It will leave you in a lonesome depressed mood all day long. Actually, that's pretty good...if a movie can leave such a lasting impression on you. At least there's some talent hidden behind the filth.

I'd throw this in the same pile as other trashy films such as 'Maniac', 'New York Ripper', 'Don't Go in the House' etc.

Don't go looking for anything other than sexually charged insanity and the sheer depravity of a killer gone mad from childhood.

Shocker (1989)

I'm not sure what to think

[5/10 · 6 December 2007]

This was a childhood favorite of mine and all the pals in the early years. Shocker is quiet an enigma. I'm not real sure as to what Craven was trying to pull off. Not only was Shocker a strange film, The People Under The Stairs that came out a year or two after was also a strange film.

As for 'Shocker' - I can only go as far as to say that there were nays and yays. First and foremost, all the supernatural elements of 'Shocker' may turn a few heads and leave some wanting to turn it off. Some people like the supernatural element going on with this film. Personally, I lean towards the former. If this flick was made into a balls out slasher/serial killer film which only used the main character's psychic ability instead of going to the extremes of allowing the main characters (killer/Hero) to jump inside televisions, using electricity as a source of supernatural power, it would have fared better, and been one of the great ones.

Even aside from all this nonsense, 'Shocker' still has it's moments. It has a very dreary and bleak atmosphere that somehow sucks you in. It's almost the same atmosphere emitted from his 1984 venture, 'A Nightmare on Elm Street'. There's this surrealistic feeling throughout the entire film, and you're not quiet sure what's gonna happen next.

There's a few comedic touches in the film that come from nowhere, but they are quiet welcomed in what otherwise is a very depressing feature.

In all honesty, 'Shocker' is a laughable attempt by Wes Craven. As I mentioned, the film has its moments, but the sheer absurdity of the circumstances lures one away from giving it a chance. Understandable.

Good acting, tho. A good performance by our male lead. Also, a great performance from our deranged psychopath - Who uses television and electricity as a catalyst to possess other people to do his dirty work. There's a slight hint of some occultisms when the killer (right before he's to be executed) has hooked boosting cables to his hands and attached them to a live television set. I guess he was recharging or something. Plus, I have no idea how he obtained boosting cables in jail. Maybe he put them in his lower body cavity? Anyway, if you're in the mood that allows you to throw all sense out the window, it might be an OK time waster. I'd almost go as far as to say that only horror fans would even watch 'Shocker' more than once. Good things, but mostly stupid things...not necessarily bad things, but things that should have been used for another ANOES sequel.

Halloween (2007)

wonderful adaption

[10/10 · 22 November 2007]

What people need to realize right off the bat is that this isn't a film by John Carpenter. It really pains me that some people can't let go of nostalgia and enjoy a good movie. You've got slasher fans complaining about the lack of decent slasher flicks, and when one rears its glorious head, they throw off on it simply because it's a remake.

Rob Zombie is probably the best horror director in the business today. I'd go as far as to say the past fifteen years. 'The Devil's Rejects' was a modern day masterpiece. It's plain to see Zombie's genuine love for the genre, and with Halloween '07 it's no different.

We start out with a young Michael Myers, being brought directly into his dysfunctional childhood - Pole dancing mom - Alcoholic, verbally and physically abusive father figure - Slutty sister - The only true form of normality and pureness in the trashy home is his baby sister.

Zombie pretty much sticks to the basic beginnings of the original 'Halloween', but adding a disturbing glimpse into a disgruntled childhood that the original didn't explain. A lot of people's gripes come from the fact that Zombie actually shed some light on why Michael did what he did. Was it because he was a product of a shitty childhood? Probably not - And I think the kid who played young Michael did a great job of proving it went much deeper than that.

I'm going to make one complaint in that Linda, Annie, and Laurie weren't the likable trio that they were in the first - and I'm not sure they had to be in the new version. Films are flavors of the day like anything else. Kids these days (sad but true) aren't truly likable. After this being said, I do think the young actress who played Laurie Strode did become more likable when the action got started.

There's also a lot of gripes by fans of the original that Malcom McDowell didn't play out well as Doctor Loomis. Personally, I don't think casting could have done a better job. I think he was about as close to the real Dr. Loomis that we'll ever get. There's also a lot of flack being tossed Zombie's way in regards to Loomis' dialogue. Again, I thought it was absolutely fine. Wonderful acting on McDowell's part.

One can't talk of a Zombie film without mentioning cameo appearances. Ken Foree, Clint Howard, Brad Douriff (not as much a cameo), Courtney Gaines - Just to name a few. All did a great job to boot.

The score - What can I say. For the most part, the original score was recycled, only spruced up a bit. I'd almost swear I heard a few licks from Halloween 2 in there somewhere too. The added score was masterfully done. I could almost feel the raw power in some scenes as the score and camera coincided to give Myers an 'earth shattering effect' - making him seem like an oiled machine, shaking the ground as he walked, or viscously raged something all to hell.

I almost forgot - Sherri Moon pulled out a wonderful performance. She proved here that shes more than capable of playing broader parts - more than a maniacal killer with the mind of a teenager. Great acting.

All in all, Halloween '07 does what most horror films these days simply can't do. Zombie is such a true fan of the genre, that it shows in everything he does. To be a true fan only means that it's conceived in the mind of someone who knows the genre inside and out already. It's certainly a plus and it certainly only adds to the all around dark and depressing nature of the film.

The camera work was filled with close-ups, almost giving a smothering presence and a much more intimate feel. I also commend the cinematography department. Halloween '07 is chock full of familiar atmosphere, capturing a very seasonal-like tone that adds that certain feeling most suburban neighborhoods associate with Halloween. I think Zombie put all his blood, sweat and tears in this flick, and personally thank him for it. A somewhat sad tale in the end - a depressing outlook on how a little unconditional love and a feeling of being needed can mean the difference in the mind of a child - how when the stars are aligned just right, when all the circumstances are in place, a child can host the very evil that leads to homicide.

Just Before Dawn (1981)

Great Backwoods slasher flick. A classic in all respects.

[9/10 · 8 November 2007]

Just Before Dawn came out during the golden days of the slasher film. The backwoods slasher pretty much started with films like Friday the 13th, The Burning, and Madman. Just Before Dawn is a step ahead of the typical backwoods slasher flick. The cinematography is gorgeous. The acting is top notch. The heroine of the film is not your typical 'final girl'.

Constance is a 'woods' girl, but when it comes down to the primal instinct of survival, she's a step behind. Not until it comes to saving the life of her and her boyfriend, does the primal notion of survival kick in. There's a subtle transition that gradually focuses on the final girls hidden sexuality - coinciding that alongside her will to survive.

Just Before Dawn isn't for everyone, but for the slasher fan, it's as close to perfect as you can get. The killer(s) are very menacing - Almost like it's a game to maim and murder anyone who crosses their territory. The end scene is a bit off kilter. For the first time viewer, it may be a little shocking. I'd recommend this to anyone who's a fan of the backwoods slasher. Even non-slasher fans will find something to like about it. The setting is eerie and makes one feel uneasy. The death sequences aren't particularly gory, but I'm not sure the film needed gore. See it!

Arctic Son (2006)

Wonderful and from the heart

[10/10 · 27 August 2007]

This is a great documentary. I was captivated from the beginning. I saw so much of Stan Jr. in myself that it was uncanny. This film leads us through the reunification of a father and son after 20 odd years as the son visits his dad in Old Crow - an old and dying settlement in the Yukon. Jr. comes from the city and likes to drink and party. There's absolutely nothing in common between the father and son. As the film goes by, we see a subtle transition in the way Jr. thinks, and a certain realization by Senior that if left alone to do a job, Jr. is certainly capable of doing it. One can see through the entire film that Senior so desperately wanted to make up for the lost years by teaching his son his own way of life. That was Senior's way of showing love. Jr. finally realizes this as the film goes on. The uncanny thing is, at the end of the film, and after he has returned home - back to drinking and partying with friends, he missed Old Crow and the snowy landscape of the Yukon - The hard and cold work. I'd certainly recommend this to anyone who likes heartfelt documentaries.

Deliverance (1972)

Great.

[10/10 · 8 July 2007]

I wish I had read the novel before watching the movie, but I didn't. I've still never gotten around to reading it, but the film itself is one of the most powerful pieces of modern film making in the history of cinema.

Leaving the book on the back burner, 'Deliverance' is a movie in which a group of men find out what they're made of. The primal urge to get away from city life and, join nature at its most coherent level, ultimately ends up being their worst nightmare. The very thing they were trying to get away from confronts them right in the place where it was never supposed to happen.

Not only does the film commentate on risky subjects such as homosexuality, bestiality, and rape, it actually entwines the three into one big ball of shock. A film on survival, will, determination, trials, tribulations - and the heart it takes to overcome them all. Some groundbreaking movie making - not only with the location and casting, but with the true depiction of deep backwoods types.

The banjo scene goes down in history as one of the most memorable. Ronnie Cox and the 'banjo boy' playing 'Dueling Banjos' is probably one of the most sketched scenes ever.

Aside from being groundbreaking on a number of different levels, the modern backwoods slasher film owes a helluva lot to 'Deilverance'. Such films as 'The Final Terror '83', feature a backwoods killer in a remote area alongside a river. The Canadian film 'Rituals', also owes a lot to 'Deliverance'- as a trip in the woods goes horribly wrong for a group of hunters. 'Deliverance' set the stage for a number of cash-ins that still ride its coat tails until this day.

In a nutshell, 'Deliverance' 'delivers' - and it delivers big,

The House by the Cemetery (1981)

One of Fulci's Better movies

[7/10 · 27 May 2007]

A family movies into a new house in the country where strange things happen and people get murdered.

The opening scene opens up like a typical American slasher film. A boy and girl just get done having sex when they're brutally murdered. The girl actually gets a large butchers knife through the back of her skull and out of her mouth. It soon turns from familiar slasher territory and launches itself half-speed into a full fledged Gothic-like drama with some good kill scenes thrown it. HBTC is more than just a souped up drama with a good slice of Americana thrown in tho, it's a very good film as a whole and proves Fulci-despiser's wrong when they say he's a hack.

I'd certainly recommend this film to all horror fans. Slasher/Giallo fans will also find something redeeming in HBTC. Fulci gives us a little class along with sporadic gore, but limits himself- keeping in frame with just hammering out a good damn film.

City of the Living Dead (1980)

Atmospheric Onslaught

[8/10 · 27 May 2007]

1) A table drill through the skull by the hands of a mad father 2) a girl puking up her entire intestinal tract 3) A woman is buried partially alive. Chris George hears her screams and barely misses impaling her gorgeous pale face as the instrument gouges through the face of the coffin. (One of the most tense scenes in cinematic history) 4) Zombies that pull the back of you head off and crush your brain.

5) Corpses turning up at home in the kitchen floor when they dies a few days before.

These are just some of the things that makes 'The Gates of Hell' what it is. It's an atmospheric onslaught of death and carnage. There's something about All Saints Day in the plot, but, after you witness a maggot storm and a blow up doll inflate by itself, you'll forget about such thing as a coherent plot.

This is a film that's most popular for its brutal gore and even more brutal imagery. Fulci let us have it with this one. He hit us hard and sucker punches us pretty good.

A gore hound's dream. Even non-fans of gore will appreciate the nice cinematography.

The Final Terror (1983)

Worth the view

[10/10 · 27 May 2007]

The Final Terror is an 80's slasher attempt that's often overlooked. One reason may be the low body-count and high survivor rate. The other could be been shoddy distribution. TFT has numerous alternate titles and a lot of people have probably seen this under such names as 'Campsite massacre' or 'Carnivore'.

TFT starts out with a man and his girlfriend wrecking a motorcycle deep in the forest amongst tall cedars and wild animals. The guy hurts his leg and sends the woman for help. She tries to reach someone, but it's no use. When she comes back, she notices her fiancée is gone, but soon finds him when he's dropped upside down from a tree (Friday the 13th style) Of course, the girl gets hers too - by way of sharp tin-can lids. Very creative.

LAter on, we have a bunch of rowdy forest rangers who are talked into going on a 'clean-up' trip just so their boss can get a week-end in the woods with his lady friend.

What ensues is your typical backwoods killer fashion, but there's something that stands out in front of other cookie cutters. The acting is top notch. Besides this, the scenery is lush and beautiful, and the characters merge together in the end.

There's quiet a few survivors, but in reality, a stalking maniac is no match for six or eight angry men and women.

The stand out character is 'Zorich' (Played wonderfully by John Friedrich). He's a hardened Viet Nam veteran who has a knack for marijuana and psychedelic mushrooms. He soon takes charge and builds a humongous wilderness trap while under the influence of psychedelics.

The killer is creepy to boot. We only see a glimpse or two throughout the movie, but we see the killer in their full glory at the end in one of the best endings to any slasher film. 'Joe Paliantano (sp) does a good job as the eccentric Eggar who tries to coach the group away from their destination.

TFT should be a better film than it is, but, for the sake of being realistic, it's definitely more believable than films like 'Friday the 13th'. The opening kill scenes are very well done, as well as a 'making love scene' where the 'thruster' is attacked violently and bloody by an unknown specter with a homemade hook of some sort. Good stuff.

For the slasher completest, it's something to see if you haven't already. I think a lot of slasher fans are pleasantly surprised when they finally do get the chance to sit down and watch The Final Terror.

Blood Hook (1986)

musky Madness!

[3/10 · 27 May 2007]

Giant Musky Bait = Murder Weapon = Cheesy Fun.

This is the cheesiest of all 80's slasher attempts. It's even cheesier than Slash Dance or Killer Workout.

I put off watching the flick for years. I guess there was a reason for that. When I finally popped the tape into my ancient vcr, I giggled under my breath, but couldn't bring myself to a full laugh.

The synth score is really catchy and adds an uneasiness throughout the film, even tho you know there's absolutely nothing eerie about it.

Only die hard cheese fans will find something enjoyable about someone casting a large musky bait onto someone until they die. Very sappy.

Is it worth a watch? Hell yeah. Grab a beer, kick back, and prepare to see something like you've never before seen.

Sisters of Death (1977)

Surprisingly good.

[6/10 · 26 May 2007]

In the same vein as Ten Little Indians, Sister's of Death does the 'invitation' thing some years before Paul Lynch's Prom Night and even before Class Reunion Massacre from 1976.

Sorority girls are holding their initiation for two inductees that involves a pistol/murder in which one of the 'Sisters' would load the gun, place it to the inductee's head and pull the trigger. Of course, the blank bullet is just supposed to make a loud noise and that's it. But, in this case, it splatters the girls brains and the rest is history.

Anyway, it's a few years down the road and the ex-sorority girls receive and invitation and five hundred bucks to attends a 'Sister's' reunion. They are supposed to meet in a designated spot where two guys with a beat-up station wagon (with sheets over the windows) are to pick them up and take the them to their destination, where they themselves are to make a couple hundred bucks.

After all the girls finally make it, the two guys drive the girls to their location. one of the guys talks his friend into staying and partying with the girls and soon learn they're stranded on the property. An electric fence keeps them on the premises while an unknown specter roams throughout the mansion spying and doing away with the girls one by one.

Sister's of Death is a film that does a lot of cliché' things before it was cool to do so. The acting is surprisingly good for a drive-in caliber flick. There's copious amounts of cheese that accompanies the actions and dialog of our characters, and a twist ending that I never saw coming. Just who is it that is taking the girls out one by one? Just whose revenge mode is set on high and what lengths will they go through to extend their murderous rage? Watch and see.

Halloween II (1981)

Rewatchable.

[8/10 · 26 May 2007]

Halloween 2 is one of those rare occasions when a sequel is as equally enjoyable as the first film. Halloween is technically a much better film than Halloween II, but Halloween II has a higher re-watch rate.

Rick Rosenthal gave us a pretty uneven film with H2, and it's rumored that Carpenter had to do a number of re-shoots after trying to make something of Rosenthal's shoddy work.

Halloween II picks up directly where Halloween left off. Michael is now carrying around six bullets with him - which should have left him a little slow. But, we all know Mike is one crazy son of a gun and isn't gonna allow six slugs to the torso to slow him down.

He kills his way to the medical facility where Laurie is admitted and stalks the eerie halls of Haddonfield Clinic. The clinical setting is truly a saving grace for H2. The whole place is eerie. It's a perfect place to set the film.

Halloween 2 climbs the gore pole this time. Instead of relying on suspense throughout, the gore angle is exploited - and poof! - Halloween 2 becomes a bodycount slasher film made popular by films like Friday the 13th and The Burning.

Nevertheless, H2 does a really good job. There's some good stalk sequences. Jamie Lee hardly has any dialog this time. She's left in a virtual state of 'unspeaking' as she does what she does best...run from masked killers. (Although, she's not doing much running. She's pretty much incapacitated and limps heavily) Donald Pleasance is still putting on quiet a show. He proved even more so that he's obsessed with Myers, eventually throwing his on well being on the line to try and end the reign of terror inspired by Myers.

Anyway, there's a little 'unevenness' throughout, but it's still manageable. The editing looks as if it was done by a five year old. but we're able to overlook this and see this for the giant cheese spectacle it really is.

Great atmosphere. Creepy location. Everything that made part one famous, but on a more sporadic level. This doesn't mean it's done better, but in a broader theatrical sense considering the body-count slasher film was in it's explosion at the time.

Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)

Overrated to a certain extent

[3/10 · 24 May 2007]

I'm one of the few who think this is a mediocre film - at best. The direction and acting is there, but it lacks oomph. The characters are a different mixture of sorts, but I'm not sure that they played that well off of each other.

The gang members weren't believable. They were even comical in some scenes. A lot of the film was lackluster in its delivery - whether it be the dry action scenes or the barren dialog emitted from even dryer lips.

The soundtrack is the best thing about Assault on Precinct 13. It'll keep you interested enough to allow you to make it until the end. I was almost relieved when I finally saw the credits.

If by some chance someone reading this hasn't seen it, don't listen to the hype and try and force yourself to like a film that's not all that good to begin with.

Manhattan Baby (1982)

Beautifully shot....Great score.

[6/10 · 24 May 2007]

Manhattan Baby is Fulci's dive into beautiful imagery. There's some scenes in this one that are genuinely breathtaking.

A medallion from an archaeological dig leaves a man blind. And a family falls into jeopardy after their son disappears into thin air, and their daughter is possessed by an ancient demon.

If the budget hadn't been cut for the film, I would imagine that this would be Fulci's most memorable film. People would think 'Manhattan Baby' instead of 'Zombie' when they heard the name Lucio Fulci.

Most horror fans haven't seen this one. It's true that MB isn't a film that succumbs to everyone's tastes. This is simply because in most Italian films, it's usually style over substance, which in some cases can leave an unseasoned viewer in total awe at the apparent inept plot line before them.

In Italian films (especially), you have to pay very close attention to the whole film. Certain plot definers aren't given 'camera-attention' at crucial times at any given time through any given film. in American films, the camera tells the story. The same can be said for Italian cinema, but a lot of times, it's much more subtle in its delivery and can leave one feeling incomplete until they eventually see it again.

Anyway, should you watch Manhattan Baby? Sure. I'll recommend it. It's a beautifully shot film with hardly any of that Fulci gore we all expected. It also has a great Gothic score that adds tons of surrealistic atmosphere that pulls you in for the most part.

Not a film for everyone, but the guru's of the cinema world will find a lot of redeeming qualities to talk about.

I Drink Your Blood (1971)

Dirty. Filthy.

[8/10 · 24 May 2007]

Dirty. Filthy. Those two words pretty much sum up 'I Drink Your Blood'. A band os satanist hippies are in the middle of a ritual when a young woman spies on them. She's caught and gang raped by our bunch of goons. The same band of hippies make their way into town where the girl and her family live. Grandpa becomes privy to whom it was that raped his granddaughter and he sets out with shotgun in hand to teach them a lesson. When he arrives at the abandoned hotel in which the hippies are holed up, the leader of the group (Horace Bones) has one of his hippie-chicks force feed grandpa a little LSD. Grandpa makes his way home and uses kitchen table wear to constitute a set of horns because he thinks he's the devil.

The next day, his grandson decides to get back at the group when he serves them meat pies laced with the blood of a rabid dog. They acquire rabies and the rest is history.

IDYB is a film that's not easily forgotten. It leaves a layer of filth on you that's reminiscent of films of its ilk, but there's just something ultra nasty about it. The hippies are grimy individuals who don't hold a sympathetic bone in their body. Do I recommend this film? You bet! This is a treat for drive-in/exploitation fans of 70's fare and is essential viewing for completists.

Is it a good movie? Well, it depends on how you look at it. It's competently made with some better than average acting, which makes the film a little better than it should be. Worth a view at least once.

The Prey (1983)

Mutual of Omaha Presents: THE PREY

[4/10 · 14 May 2007]

Everything everyone has said already pretty much rings true when it comes to 'The Prey'. Endless nature footage, bad acting - Aside from these elements, this is a watchable film for slasher fans that in some cases, is considered a cult classic.

Jackson Bostwick and Jackie Coogan play pretty well off each other. There's also a three minute banjo solo that shows off Bostwick's skill behind the instrument. Not too bad if I do say so myself.

The last ten minutes of the 'film' are its saving grace. The ending still haunts me to this day. This can also sport a short lived plus in that an early John Carl Bucheler does the special effects. Some may know him from films like 'Troll' and 'Friday the 13th part 7 - He directed both these films) All in all, this isn't a movie everyone will find something redeeming in. In fact, on a Hollywood level, this can rank right up there with one of the businesses most amateurish efforts, but for that handful (yet very loyal) of slasher movie fans in the world, even the bad acting and atrocious nature footage can be forgiven.

Satan's Blade (1984)

Right Context = Enjoyment

[10/10 · 11 May 2007]

Fan's of cheesy horror films are in a different class all to themselves. The old saying that "one man's trash is another man's treasure' could never be more true when it comes to the cesspool of surprises this film delivers.

Satan's Blade is quiet a rare film. The acting sucks, and the camera work isn't award worthy, and the wounds themselves look like 'red jam'- but on the right terms, this does deliver in the scare department.

Supposedly, the tale of 'the mountain man' floating around at a snowy resort isn't a legend after all. Two girls were murdered in one of the cabins where the killer left what seems to be a tribal signature of blood on the walls.

Two married couples and a group of fun loving girls make their way to cabin. They don't seem too worried by the fact that two people were murdered right next door. If that's not bad enough, the only cabin empty is the cabin where the two girls were murdered. The girls agree to stay and the rest is history. I don't know, but shouldn't there be a lengthy police investigation? Just checking) Anyway, the film's strong point is its location - A snowy isolated resort in the high mountain region of what seems to be California. It adds an extra bit of oomph to it that actually masks the all around badness of the movie.

There's some genuinely disturbing slash sequences in this flick. Obviously inspired by Halloween, the director gave us a lot of Halloweenesque lighting and camera-work - not to mention the piano score.

If a cheese lover loves cheese and scares, he'll devour this little slasher rarity. I highly suggest all you 'completists' out there to pick this one up while there's still VHS tapes floating around. This may never see a legit DVD release.

Truth or Dare? (1986)

A new respect....

[6/10 · 31 December 2006]

Truth or Dare is one of those films that you'll never see anything else like it. Everything is completely over-the-top. The gore, action, comedy - the extremely catchy synth score - Everything is done in a way that's a complete parody within itself, but Ritter doesn't do it in an obvious form. He's poking fun at the film, but does it in a serious way. (Is that a paradox?) Nevertheless, this is an experience you'll likely not forget very soon. I'm sure Ritter was working out some hidden feelings or agenda's during the time this film was released. I had no idea that Ritter was only around 18 or 19 when he made this film - MAking a competent film at 19 - Hitting the top of the video rental chain - All before he was 20. I'm not sure how JR Bookwalter gets all the credit for revolutionizing indy film making. Tim Ritter certainly deserves more credit in regards to the straight to video market that kick started home entertainment.

I'm not saying Truth or Dare is a masterpiece, but what it is is a competently made horror film (now a cult classic) that was virtually written and directed by a teenager! Luck may have had something to do with it, but craftiness (not only in the directing department, but craftiness in the marketing department) has made his name a very welcomed sound to the old school horror fan.

BTW, the old man who played one of the mental patients deserved an award. At times, I'm not so sure Ritter didn't actually have the guy cut off his hand. Of course, I'm an idiot, but after one grasps how young the director was, they'll gain a whole new appreciation for this movie.

The Devil's Rejects (2005)

Talented film-making

[10/10 · 9 November 2006]

Any horror 'fan' can say what they will, Rob Zombie is the saving grace to the classic horror film we all know and love. The Devil's Rejects is a prime example of learning from a previous mistake.

Rob realized that there is such a thing as too many visuals and TOO many colors. Rob also went fan-boy crazy in House, dwelling on some of his favorite views expelled from childhood favorites.

In The Devil's Rejects, Rob becomes more familiar with the fact that the camera isn't a toy, but a powerful tool, that if used right, could emit something spectacular - no matter what the subject matter.

One thing that stands out in this film is the reversal of fates for our characters. In most cookie cutters, we find the point of view from that of the victim, giving very little camera time to the villain. This worked extremely well in films like Halloween and Friday the 13th. From this perspective, we have the total opposite. Instead, we're shown first hand the point of view of the killers and ride along as they do what they do.

In essence, Rob still takes the standard route because even tho we're along for the ride on the escape cross country, we never really know why they do what they do - Just like in the first Halloween, we know not why Mike decides to stalk and slasher babysitters on halloween night.

Nevertheless, here we are. We're taken on a journey with our characters where we find out that besides the fact they're murderous goons, they know all to well the meaning of family or simply getting someones back in time of need. Talent rears its beautiful head as Rob slowly turns the screw until we're finally rooting for the guys we're supposed to be hating. He uses a symbol of goodness and distorts it (the cop), allowing the viewer to lower their sympathy guard enough to humanize the bad guys.

I've heard a lot of remarks on what films Rob was giving nods to in The Devil's Rejects - I think a lot of people have points, but The Devil's Rejects places a lot of emphasis alongside The Hill's Have Eye's. It's like the primal instinct of revenge - to accommodate one life for another. It refers back to the old testament rule of thumb: 'An eye for an eye'. Not only this, but it digs deeper, giving leeway to a similar story (The Sawney Bean story) about a bunch of 15th century settlers who resorted to cannibalism- and- when found, were hanged by the locals out of rage. The torture the Sawney Bean family endured for their ghastly deeds wasn't too much further than the ghastly deeds performed on them by the locals - - As in the sheriff going through extremes to extract revenge for what the murderous Firefly clan did to his brother.

Great cinematography, great characters, great soundtrack, great non-distinction of who we should be rooting for, wonderful atmosphere, with a kick of drive-in flick, accompanied by an early 80's action/thriller, based with an all out balls-to-the wall gore/exploitation film.

Great film-making from a relative newcomer. Rob Zombie is going to give CPR to the horror film, dishing out some of the best horror films in the last 20 years.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

Brutal and beautiful.

[9/10 · 6 October 2006]

First off, I just wanna say that I've seen my fair share of horror films - good, bad, and downright ridiculous. The original TCM ('74) is probably my second favorite film of all time. Part two and three easily make my top 25. Well, move over sequels. Make room for your prequel.

This simply blew my mind. There was absolutely nothing to smile about and that's exactly how it should be. I couldn't believe that the finished theatrical cut got away with so much brutality. I'm very happy for this fact simply because this could be the foot in the door that allows it to open all the way, allowing us to see more 'horror' films - not some film to draw teens in because they're in some dry spirited family show on WB.

First and foremost, character development is the main vein to any film. Secondly, emotional ties with the character is a must, or else one is simply watching people on a screen. Most movie fans know that the slasher film or the horror film in general is laden with their share of cheese. A few giggles here. A snicker there. A shout at the heroine to run out the door instead of up the stairs. I heard nary a giggle. This my friends is the real deal. This is what horror is all about.

This is simply a great horror film. Jaded fans can either admit the fact that this is balls-to-the-wall horror , or lie to themselves.

The main story was written by David Schow. Schow has penned a number of great flicks - The Crow and TCM 3 being two of them. I knew that from the mind of this demented horror genius, that his ties with the story HAD to show, if indeed he was to get ANY kind of credit for the film.

I love all the TCM films (even TCM:NG), but this is now officially my favorite TCM installment besides the original.

To sum it up, this is a must for all horror fans.

The Dorm That Dripped Blood (1982)

Great dorm slasher...

[6/10 · 27 August 2006]

This is probably one of the least known of the early 80's hay day hack n slash family - consisting of a slue of cousins which themselves have gathered dust, triumphantly sitting with legs crossed> on videostore shelves through half a generation. - that is, until DVD finally unearthed some lesser knowns for a second chance.

(I have the old Media VHS version, btw) (The UK DVD release is known as 'PRANKS)

A killer lurks on a college campus - through the closterphobic corridors of Meadows Hall, killing working coeds in some very creative ways. A baseball bat with barbed-wire around it. A girl is ran over.(Not too creative, but has to be seen within its context, consisting of three murders within thirty seconds.) A girl is shoved in a pressure cooker and is cooked to death. A janitor gets a drilling headache. A woman gets incinerated - you name it.

While the film is quiet amateurish, it delivers on most all levels that simply make up a good slasher film. I could take away merit by assigning scoff at the quality of the production - the dark-shoddy look of the film, etc; - but I won't. - A solid slasher film in all respects, with one hell of a twist ending.

The Tell-Tale Heart (1960)

Great version!

[8/10 · 19 August 2006]

Definitely one of the better takes on the classic Poe story. The acting in this version is simply fantastic. A moody little piece with some risqué' scenes to be of such an early caliber. A very interesting rarity.

The quality of the print isn't great, but has still held up well throughout time, considering... It's a wonder that someone still had the negative.. I was really surprised,as a lot of times, films like these can really be tedious, but not this one.

A welcomed attempt is what this is. One gets the sense that even tho it had been done to death (even previously from 1960) the filmmakers took their approach seriously, with an end result that is creepy and risky.

I'm surprised that more people haven't seen this film, given the fact that it's pretty readily available on a one buck DVD alongside Chiller.

Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

probably the worst of the bunch

[2/10 · 2 August 2006]

I cannot believe what a mess this film turned out to be. After the promising opening scene, what we get is pure and utter garbage. I can hardly find ONE redeeming quality about this film. I cannot believe that for a supposed Hollywood production, the casting people couldn't find decent actors. The main lead couldn't even scream. The rest of the characters were totally useless, and held no sympathy whatsoever. When are Hollywood producers going to realize that letting acting skills go because someone is pretty defeats the purpose of good film-making? Rick Rosenthal - Look at Halloween part 2. One of my favorites, but it's still flawed to death. It's rumored that Carpenter had to do a lot of re-shoots to try and salvage something from Rosenthal's shoddy work. This should have told us something. Rosenthal just showed his lack of talent for directing. He had a good premise and blew it. A good director would have capitalized on the 'webcam' thing and made a decent, albeit hip horror movie. Fifty million thumbs down for this pile of garbage.

Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror (1981)

not the worst but definately not one of the best

[3/10 · 25 June 2002]

This film starts off promising with a very dark creepy opening sequence. It seemed to have a different tone from the beginning and indeed it managed to keep the same feel through most of the film. The dubbing is atrocious and the score is almost unbearable.

There is a very very wierd sub-plot between two very close family members. (I won't spoil it for you guys who have not seen it.)

While this little films is far from being great, I really can't put it into the TERRIBLE zombie film wastebasket with such attempts at filmmaking as Zombie Lake or Barn of the Naked Dead and other films of the likes, but I cannot put it on the same shelf with Romero's Dead trilogy or some of Fulci's Zombie flicks. Any hadrcore Zombie fan will probably enjoy it, but for you Romero and Fulci fans, don't expect too much.

** stars