WOLVERINE25th Reviews

Hailey's on It! (2023– )

Hailey's Off It

[3/10 · 28 October 2023]

Hailey's On It! Sounds good on paper: a girl adverse to trying new things must now do so to save the future. It could've been a great encouragement for children to get out there and experiment, get out of their comfort zones, experience all that life has to offer.

Instead, it's a nothingburger of a show. Hailey barely has any obstacles on completing her list items. Despite not wanting to do anything on her list, she's somehow GOOD at most of them right off the bat. The only thing that provides any challenge is when other people get involved, or the EXTREMELY sporadic appearance of Chaos Bots. You'd think if they wanted to keep Hailey from succeeding they'd have more of a presence, but no.

Speaking of other people, her best friend Scott is extremely annoying. He's supposed to be so stupid it's funny, but instead he's so stupid he's annoying. He brings nothing to the table, except to validate every insult Beta slings his way. How Hailey supposedly has a crush on him is the true mystery.

The idea is good and it had a lot of potential, but the execution makes it a truly nothing of a show. No challenge, no real pressing sense of stakes, and nothing remotely entertaining enough to keep viewers coming back for more.

The Mother (2023)

Been There, Done That

[4/10 · 21 May 2023]

We decided to watch this film when my pops heard his friends raving about it. We can't figure out what movie THEY saw, because it couldn't POSSIBLY have been this.

This was a very by-the-numbers action flick, with characters making EXTREMELY dumb choices to keep the story going and pad out the run time. While the action scenes themselves were decent, the story bits around it were just a stiff and wooden slog. Characters come and go with very little development, ensuring we feel nothing when they're put in peril.

One of the film's glaring problems was the fact they made their protagonist TOO good. The bad guys CLEARLY stood no chance against her and her "special set of skills" (a nod to a film that had a similar premise and did it better). It honestly felt like they combined the plot from two movies together as she dispatched the first "big bad" rather quickly, only to get a second one that kicked the whole mess off in the first place.

The Zoe character was also the most unlikable child character I've seen in a long time. She didn't act like a girl who had been thrown into some wildly traumatic situations--she came off like a spoiled and belligerent little brat. Anything that went wrong usually was because of her, and not in the just "she didn't know better" kind of way. And just when I think they're gonna give her a moment of redemption for the audience, they drop the ball and turn it into yet ANOTHER contrivance to keep the story going JUUUUUUUUST a bit longer.

If you're looking for a new action flick to pass the time, don't bother with this one. It's nothing we haven't seen done better a thousand times before, and offers nothing of note to justify its existence.

Captain Marvel (2019)

NOTHING GROUNDBREAKING, BUT A GOOD, FUN MOVIE

[8/10 · 9 March 2019]

I'm going to say because of all the "true Captain Marvel" claptrap I've seen on social media, I found it amusing the trailer for SHAZAM! opened up CAPTAIN MARVEL at my theater.

I've seen a lot of reviews say that this movie is completely devoid of humor. While it's true that there's less jokes per capita than other Marvel offerings, there were one-liners and humorous interactions a-plenty. It was played like a buddy cop movie akin to the LETHAL WEAPON franchise. Plenty of laughter in my rather-full showing.

I've heard people denounce the movie because of gender politics. Yes, it's a movie that stars a woman. Annnnnd that's pretty much as far as it goes for gender. If you want to analyze its political implications, I think the current migrant/refugee crisis we've got going on in this country would be a better descriptor (crisis as in how this country has chosen to handle it, being poorly).

I've also heard that the acting is either wooden, uneven or completely absent. I think given the situations, the theme and the narrative, the acting was just fine on all parts.

CAPTAIN MARVEL is a good movie. I can't say that it left me with the same feelings my first viewing of WONDER WOMAN did, but I can say I enjoyed the hell out of it. Larson and Jackson made quite the pair and played off each other well. They borrowed heavily from the comics' lore from every era and blended it well. The special effects were amazing. I mean, Marvel's de-aging technology is nothing short of witchcraft (not that Gregg and Jackson have visibly aged all that much to begin with, but still...daymn). As reported elsewhere, Goose totally stole the show. He had a couple of the best scenes. Mendelsohn was good, but not really a scene-stealer. And some of the fight scenes were spectacularly choreographed. Also, the opening Stan Lee tribute...didn't quite bring the tears of SPIDER-VERSE's, but it was a heart-stabber.

Bottom line: if you like Marvel movies, you'll like this. It doesn't really reinvent the wheel or bring anything of epic scale to the table (it doesn't go anywhere near INFINITY WAR), but it does tell a good story with some good action and fun interactions to go along with it. I didn't find it slow or boring in the least.

However, if you're of the camp who believes the misinformation that this movie is pushing some kind of SJW agenda or have an issue with who does or doesn't have the Captain Marvel name, this movie is not going to be for you. You're already going in wrong-headed and the movie will fail for you before it even begins. All I can do is remind you all that the movies do not follow the comics, and haven't for the last 20 years. They are their own thing.

Girl Meets World (2014–2017)

Cute, But Flawed

[6/10 · 3 January 2015]

I had watched the original Boy Meets World from the first time Topanga (Danielle Fishel) drew on her face to when the new Matthews clan was winging their way to New York with a new baby. So, when I heard they were producing a sequel series following said baby, I knew I had to check it out.

With the first season now over, I feel able to comment on it fully. This show, created by the same people behind BMW (Michael Jacbos and April Kelly), does have some of the earmarks that made BMW the endearing show it was, while at the same time suffering from the homogenized sameness all Disney Channel productions face: over-exaggerated characters engaging in mind-numbing adventures that are obviously designed to talk down to their audience, rather than to. That's something GMW is guilty of that BMW somehow avoided.

First, let's talk about the kids. The kids are woefully underdeveloped. Riley (Rowan Blanchard) and Maya (Sabrina Carpenter), the two leads, are carbon copies of Cory (Ben Savage) and Shawn (Rider Strong) from BMW. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, as both girls manage to embrace the character traits that made the originals memorable. But, Riley tends to overact a bit, taking any realism out of a given situation. Farkle (Corey Fogelmanis) is less developed than the girls, but moreso than the rest of the supporting child cast. He only plays to two gag types: being the brainy kid and being obsessed with the girls, like a poor man's version of Steve Urkel. Lucas (Peyton Meyer) has zero personality or chemistry with his supposed love-interest, Riley. Riley's brother Augie (August Maturo), while having the least screen time of the kids, is probably the most interesting with his obvious genius-level intellect and maturity hidden behind the actions of an 8-year-old boy.

As I mentioned before, Riley's actions take away from the realism of situations. However, the way the whole school is set up is unrealistic and presents the target audience with a bad representation of how to behave in school. On GMW, the kids constantly act up in class, walk out, and generally disrespect their teacher (who happens to be Cory), and receive no such punishments for their actions. Not a detention, not a reprimand. Just an "Oh, you!" and everything is fine, whereas on BMW appropriate punishments would be meted out for such behavior.

The plots involving the kids are also a bit...incomplete. They start off fine, but the resolutions are rushed and end up making little to no sense. There's no logic behind the story progression for the kids, or a clear methodology behind how they solve their respective problems, even for television. You can see the idea is there, but the execution is lacking.

But, when the adults come into play, it's a completely different kind of show. Cory steals every scene he's in. Thankfully, he's rendered more intelligent than he ended up becoming towards the end of BMW's run (something which seemed to plague the Matthews boys as evident by the de-evolution of his older brother Eric). The production clearly enjoys returning to their old friend, giving him the best actions and lines in any given episode. While he doesn't entirely save the plots from mediocrity, he makes the show far more tolerable.

Sadly, the same can't be said for wife Topanga. Despite being a career woman, she's often relegated to the background of an episode, seemingly being a doting homemaker with very few lines. In fact, only one episode this season gave her any real presence on the show. Despite how dense the cast was in the early years, Cory's parents Alan (William Russ) and Amy (Betsy Randle) both got their share of screen time, as well as their own subplots during an episode. In fact, BMW managed to put a nice balance on the kids and the adults until greater focus was eventually placed on the kids away from home.

Along with references to the earlier show, some characters have made guest appearances. Unfortunately, not all were well done. One that stands out was in the very first episode, where Cory sees a vision of Mr. Feeney praising the lesson he taught Riley and Maya (the lesson itself, however, making no sense). It was a thrilling couple of seconds, and an appropriate way to kick off the series. Stuart Minkus (Lee Norris), the Farkle of BMW's first season (and incidentally his father), made a cameo to visit his son in school. Unfortunately, his much-touted appearance was basically a waste as he made no contribution to the story or had any real meaningful interaction with his former co-stars other than to make them jealous of his wealthy lifestyle.

Next was Harley Keiner (Danny McNulty), Cory's personal bully in the early seasons of BMW, as the school's janitor. If not for the name, leather gloves, or his calling Cory "Baboon" one time in the episode, you would never know who he was supposed to be. His presence as a janitor in an NYC school was never explained, and he didn't exhibit any of his character's traits. All he was there for was a fun little plot device for the overall story, and a way to work in the cameo.

Cory's parents made an appearance in the season finale, along with now-grown youngest son Josh (Uriah Shelton). Unfortunately, they were drastically overshadowed by Shawn's appearance and the tension with Maya. Shawn had the most prominent and meaningful BMW appearance on the show. Although, once again the plot made little sense in its execution, his presence didn't feel like much of a waste.

Hopefully, the second season will allow the show to find its legs and escape from the Disney Channel stigma that weighs it down and keeps it from being as good a show as BMW was. It shows a lot of promise, but it needs some work to get it right.

Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe (2011 TV Movie)

Very Groovy

[8/10 · 24 April 2011]

Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe is a journey into the past of the series' most enigmatic character as only Bruce Campbell can play him.

Set in 2005, the movie follows Sam's last mission as a Navy Seal before he wound up retired in Miami. A moment of indiscretion gets Sam sent into the South American jungles to deal with a terrorist group causing havoc. But, things aren't what they seem.

So far, the biggest complaints about this movie are that some of the uniforms are inaccurate, which means they must be doing everything else right. As made for TV movies go, this was very good. Even thought it felt more like one of Bruce's B-movie romps than an actual extension of Burn Notice, that only helps bring home the fun of the movie. Bruce gets many a great line, and a few nods to both his past and his fans.

The other characters ranged from well-acted to a kind of meh performance, and the overall direction by Jeffrey Donovan was well done. Fans of both Bruce and Burn Notice will enjoy this picture and come away feeling satisfied. Was this necessary? Maybe not. Was it worth it? Hell yes.

Superman Returns (2006)

Superman Returns...Now Go Away Again

[4/10 · 31 July 2006]

After the astonishing X-Men franchise, I had high hopes for this movie. But, Singer managed to only disappoint me. His first mistake was instead of making this movie able to stand on its own, he focused too much on making it an homage to Richard Donner. It felt too much like a rehash of the first movie just with updated special effects. Seriously, go through both scene by scene; so many parallels it's not funny. The problem with this approach gives us a way too powerful Superman and elements that are completely outdated by now, eg a campy Lex Luthor. There was also a bit of miscasting with Bosworth and the main character himself had very little lines throughout the whole movie.

The plot was severely lacking. Luthor's scheme made no sense and was just very poorly executed. The ending defied all logic and pre-established canon...especially within the universe Singer was emulating. On top of that, the movie was extremely dull. There were only inconsequential action scenes to show off the new and improved special effects and otherwise no real challenge for Superman.

Yes, the first two movies were hardly perfect, but given the time they were made they are quite enjoyable. Supes Returns, however, is not. It's just an empty shell of what could and SHOULD have been in an era where comic movies are dominating. Superman is called an epic character, it's time for them to give him an epic challenge and no more of these stalemate battles with Lex Luthor.

Another Stakeout (1993)

Not As Bad As They Make It Out To Be

[8/10 · 4 April 2006]

This movie was a nice follow-up to the classic Stakeout. Many reviewers seem to feel it's a typical sequel that doesn't live up to the predecessor. Yes, I'll admit, there were a couple of off moments, but overall the film is just as good as the original. The jokes and the banter are still funny and the situations they get in are hilarious. Probably the best indication of that is the opening chase after the story set-up. A lot of people also seem to say the premise of the movie is also a rehash of the first. It's a movie about a STAKEOUT. They don't get that much variation. You set up somewhere, you observe, you make the collar. The only thing that changes are the names and locations. Although these movies are a lot more fun that REAL stakeouts, they certainly keep the feeling.

Spider-Man 2 (I) (2004 Video Game)

Doing WHATEVER a Spider Can!

[31 March 2006]

THIS is a Spider-Man game done right.

New York not only looks like New York, but you can explore it to the fullest! The boss-fights are creative and expansive, and there is a lot to do in the city without having to follow the main plot. Not to mention various famous landmarks that ACTUALLY exist in the city; many of which only NYers would recognize. As an added bonus? Bruce Campbell, baby! The best part about the shoddy first game and definitely a great addition to this one. Not to mention you get to hear him well over 200 times! Now, for the bad. The various random missions lack variety. After a while, you just wanna shoot a kid's balloon with a web instead of returning it to him. When the main story is finished, the only thing left to do is finish gathering all the various icons in the game. While many will do this happily to get 100%, it can get dull after a while. The game has replay value, but it's very limited.

Overall, a great movie game and definitely sets the bar for any hero games to follow in the free-roam format.

Ultimate Spider-Man (2005 Video Game)

Dumbed-down in the Bendis Fashion

[31 March 2006]

From the moment I saw the commercials, I hated the animation style. To me, cell-shading doesn't say "comic book". You want to see what a "comic book" game looks like, take a look at the classic Maximum Carnage. THAT looks like it came out of a comic.

When I got the game, my opinion of it didn't improve. Spider-Man 2 really set the bar for any future free-roam Spidey games, and this one falls far short. NY is reduced by HALF so they could add Queens. The buildings look like crap and the streets make no sense so they could add Ultimate locations. One thing I did like was the inclusion of additional NYC landmarks, although I'd rather not at the expense of all the others.

The comic panels were fine in moderation, but in EVERY FREAKIN' CUT-SCENE?! They got INCREDIBLY annoying. It's a comic, we get it, move on. I hated when they did that for the Hulk movie, and I hated it here. The city missions are the same as Spidey 2 (with the addition you fight Shocker and Boomerang every so often) but the boss fights really suffer. The vast majority of them include some kind of chase followed by a battle where you have to use your useless spider-sense (which doesn't respond anywhere near as effectively as Spidey 2) and they can be very easily beaten. No real challenge at all.

Spidey can't grab, Spidey can't throw, and there are no upgrades for the kind of web attacks you can do. Swing maneuverability has also gone the way of the dodo. Venom can grab AND throw, and has the strength Spidey is missing even if he can't swing. The only other negative is you need to constantly eat people when you play with him to recharge your health yet when you fight him his health stays full all the time.

Bendis' dialog is funny at times, but the story falls as flat as most of his padded out Ultimate issues. Frankly, Spider-Man 2 is your best bet to own. This game? Rent and return it.

Spider-Man 2: Enter Electro (2001 Video Game)

The Sequel Rule Applies

[31 March 2006]

Sequels are almost never as good as the originals, and this game's no exception.

Produced by a new company for Activision, it had all the elements from the last game, sure. It even added the ability to shoot impact webs while jumping. But what it lacked was any of the challenge that made the first one so much fun. The puzzles were simplistic and very dumbed down, and the levels weren't even all that creative (however, when on the rooftops I did like how they chose to render the background scenery). The added street levels were disappointing. Missing from the first game, these could've been a welcomed addition, but they were just a square area with four lousy streets. Not even very creative building designs. Although, another plus was the ability to modify your favorite suit with the powers it may not have had.

Overall, if you completely loved the first one like me, you'll find this game lost a good deal of the magic that game had.

Spider-Man (2003)

Computer Generated Garbage

[31 March 2006]

I was excited over the prospect of a new Spidey 'toon, having a poor follow-up in Spidey Unlimited after the successful 90s series. From the start, I wasn't a fan of cell-shading as I think it only cheapens what computers can really do. However, it was more than the animation that made this series a piece of crap.

Continuity was more of a joke than it currently is in the comics! In one episode, we have Electro who gets fried at the end, only to have him appear in the next episode perfectly human with no acknowledgment by Spidey at all! The writing definitely sealed it as an MTV show as the scripts just weren't all that good. Some of the casting choices were also questionable. Michael Dorn as Kraven? Really? (Although I did enjoy Michael Clarke Duncan as Kingpin, even if they confused his massive muscle mass with massive overeating). Outside of one or two, the villains were lame and some were just carbon copies of pre-established ones. And, on a personal note, New York did NOT look like New York. Not a major negative I hold against a show, but it could've helped it a bit.

This was an attempt to continue on in the sense of the movie continuity, and they failed miserably. It became just a pale imitation of the Ultimate comic series. I heard it was going to be brought back for a second season on a different network, and I hope if it is they seriously improve this trash. Otherwise, I hope I never have to see it again. You want a real Spider-Man cartoon? Go watch the 90s one. Hell, even the 80s one is better than this. MTV GARBAGE.

Justice League of America (1997 TV Movie)

This ain't your grandpa's Justice League.

[2/10 · 5 March 2006]

Hell, it ain't even your father's. Or your older brother's. Or even yours! The team chosen was a composite of second-string characters (minus the Flash) and missing the big 3; Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. Of course, anyone who reads the comics will also notice that the League's origin is completely different.

Of course, changes had to be made to adapt it to TV, the budget and make it accessible to new viewers. But, this wasn't anything special. Basically, the movie is your typical 90s superhero TV fare with a predictable plot, cheesy costumes and only halfway decent acting. Basically, it was a buddy movie with powers.

Knight Rider (1982–1986)

Fancy A Talking Trans AM?

[17 June 2003]

KR was an innovative series for the 80s. Despite the dated cheesy-ness of some of the episodes by today's standards, it still holds up as an entertaining show. In the beginning, KITT started out with a quiet voice and very little personality, which thankfully was changed. What I didn't like were some of his later features, such as Super Pursuit Mode or the fact he could open up standard locks from a distance. But the best thing about revisiting this show today is the fact you look at the goofy "hi-tech" dashboard KITT had and realize that today, it doesn't look as goofy. With refinement, it could resemble many cars that now possess GPS systems, CD players, digitized gauges, voice controls and so forth. KITT was really the car of the future.