sijoe22 Reviews

Mississippi Grind (2015)

Never seen so many positive reviews for such a bad movie

[3/10 · 17 March 2024]

Not gettin it. Movie starts out telling the woes of a gambling addicted sad sack, the kind of loser you almost root against. Hooks up with a slightly smarter, younger version of himself. Movie takes you through trials and tribulations of these low-class slackers.

Movie pretty much ends the way it begins, "Gerry," and partner, despite winnings, never get to say goodbye to each other, a shame. And movie ends unexpectedly, WAY too soon, as you'd like to see "Gerry" be able to celebrate a little, even though you know he'll be broke in a week.

PC/WOKE ALERT: Character loses bet to group of black thugs and refuses to pay them the $100.00 wager. They pummel, him, go through his clothes, and find over FIVE GRAND on his person, yet they only take the C-note, leaving the $4,900 behind. How realistic!

Bloodline (2015–2017)

Pretty good, not outstanding, but acting INCREDIBLE

[7/10 · 5 July 2022]

Not a big fan of these multi-year soaps, but this one had me hooked for some reason. Filmed on location in Florida Keys, the story itself wasn't THAT interesting, but the acting was PHENOMINAL- You'd swear the "cop" was a REAL cop, druggies were REAL druggies, losers were REAL losers, and so on. Only actor who wasn't that great was the only one I head of, that Sissy Spacek. BEST actor? Brother Kevin, I thought. Dialogue not the greatest, but I got over it quick.

Second to last episode king of bizarre. Oh, and always be aware of "flashbacks."

All Is Bright (2013)

Comedy? You've got to be kidding! Political correctness gone amok!

[3/10 · 25 March 2021]

No exaggeration, I can't think of a single line or situation that made me laugh- not one. A couple of sad sacks trying to make money selling Christmas trees in either Brooklyn or Manhattan, neither of who is a character you want to root for. They accumulated a good deal of cash as movie progresses, but get robbed of it at the end- is there anyone who didn't see THAT coming?

And of course, the armed robber with a gun (as well as all other miscreants in the movie) just HAD to be a middle-aged WHITE guy, just like ALL the armed robbers in New York are, right?

Movie stunk, start to finish.

The Crowd (1928)

How can anyone like this movie?

[3/10 · 3 July 2020]

I'm usually a sucker for old silent movies, but this might be the WORST I've ever see. Correction- it IS the worst.

Movie "hero" begins life as a sad sack; two hours later, at movie's end (or ten years in the picture) he's STILL the same sad sack. Can never earn a decent living, lives in tiny tenement with wife and kids at the beginning, and STILL lives in the same tenement when movie ends, having never left it.

Picture ends with "sad sack" still sad, without money or decent employment. A real depressant, causing viewers to think movie was a waste of two hours and ten cents (Isn't that what flicks cost in the 1920s?).

Movie was put on shelf for a year in fear of releasing it; unfortunately, in 1929, they did. Dreadful.

The Man Who Never Was (1956)

Never has such a MEDIOCRE movie been made about such a FASCINATING subject.

[3/10 · 18 April 2020]

Never knew this movie existed till yesterday. I've read TWO separate books on the subject, but never knew the story made it's way to Tinseltown.

And what a letdown!

Here's what really happened during WW II, that the movie did an OK job of explaining, but.......

Corpse was found, properly dressed up as a General with personal items to make him look legitimate, as well as "top secret" battle plans to fool the Nazis into thinking the Brits were going to invade GREECE, instead of the expected SICILY. With me so far?

Anyway, corpse was sent floating, hoping it would be discovered by the Nazis, directly or indirectly, fooling them into thinking they had stumbled upon these "top secret" plans, so the Nazis would redirect Sicilian manpower to Greece, giving the invading Brits an easier time of Sicilian invasion, with only a fraction of the casualties they would have normally expected.

The plan worked!

But the only evidence the director gave to the viewer that it DID work, was some cartoon-like Mediterranean maps with arrows that lasted about three seconds and that was it. Whoopee.

The TRUE story of the plan's success or failure was ignored, even though the ending would have been phenomenal for the silver screen.

You see, it wasn't learned that the plan was a success until AFTER the war, when German files were read, and German generals were interviewed. THERE is when and where the Brits knew that the Germans HAD IN FACT taken soldiers away from Sicily, and rerouted to France.

The decoy had WORKED LIKE A CHARM! The Nazis swallowed it hook, line, and sinker, and saved who knows how many Allied lives , or if the war would have turned out differently if this brilliant act of deception never took place.

Movie should have given British Intelligence a "high five" for their excellent work, but movie ended too soon.

Not once did movie captions or credits ever say "Based on a True Story",: or plan's success not discovered until AFTER the war. Disgraceful.

Maybe it's because director was such a lousy story teller that audiences may have left theater thinking TMWNW never really happened, but was just another piece of wartime FICTION invented by the movie industry.

I think I'm going to cry.

The Irishman (2019)

.........only because there isn't an option for NO stars."

[1/10 · 28 November 2019]

Total garbage, start to finish. Another "EYE killed Jimmy Hoffa" story. There are at least four books out there, one is the "The Iceman" (THIS book was called "I Hear You Paint Houses") and a few others, where they ALL claimed to have killed Hoffa, and disposed of his body in either Detroit, suburban Detroit, New Jersey, you-name-it.

Movie is longer than Gone With the Wind (Or did it just seem that way?), we learn nothing new about Hoffa; Pacino was horribly miscast and unbelievable as Hoffa himself,, DeNiro is as rotten in this movie as he is in real life, rest of movie is a bunch of cast offs and has-beens (Though I liked Joe Pesci- even though he was trying to portray a man about half his real life age.)

Right up there with laughable JFK conspiracy movie as fiction masquerading as fact.

Save your money and/or your time.

One more thing; will.....this.....movie.....ever.....end? Zzzzzzzzzzz....

In the Heat of the Night (1967)

Another of the "Hate Whitey" genre..............

[3/10 · 18 August 2019]

White Southern Police are all portrayed as bumbling idiots, so naturally a BLACK Policeman from Philadelphia is brought in to save they day. How realistic!

Overblown stereotypes abound (White people are evil-black people are virtuous, you know the routine; it's STILL prevalent in HollyWEIRD these days)

A shame, because actors all give top-flight performances; location shooting is terrific (In Illinois, NOT Mississippi, by the way), and ending takes you by surprise, I'll bet no one saw that coming.

MY SPOILER ALERT ********

Another disappointment of movie was when Gillespe falsely accuses his own Deputy of the murder, yet movie ends before he can apologize to him on screen.

The Mustang (2019)

Real yawner, believe it or not.

[3/10 · 31 March 2019]

Not a single character to "root for," virtually everyone in the flick was a miserable turd.

Dialogue horrible, sometimes you couldn't even hear what characters were saying.

Even ending "credits" were a disappointment, you'd think they'd show real-life photos of lead character, but noooooooooo.

Madigan (1968)

A real yawner, start to finish............

[3/10 · 26 March 2018]

I'm usually a big fan of realistic, shot-on-the-streets of New York cop movies, but not this one.

Plot, if you want to call it that, has cops looking for a bad guy, who's wanted for murder. Whoopie.

Not a single character has any depth, storyline is pathetic, and Henry Fonda is about as authentic as a NYPD Commissioner as Pee Wee Herman would be.

Can't think of a single memorable line, nor a single surprise during entire movie. Matter of fact, I just saw it yesterday, and forgot the ending already.

I swear, I've seen much, much better cop flicks on those old televised "Movie of the Week" shows that used to be all the rage.

Close, no, make that NOT EVEN CLOSE, to being a decent movie.

Bye Bye Braverman (1968)

Anti-Semites will love this one!

[5/10 · 15 March 2018]

Every negative Jewish stereotype is on display here; Communist sympathizing (Norman Thomas for President rally at beginning), cheapness, slovenliness, non-stop whining from start to finish.

Kind of funny movie, actually; strictly for new Yorkers, ESPECIALLY Brooklynites. Can't see anyone outside the five boroughs making sense of this one.

Movie script could have been written by Josef Goebbels, for goodness sake!

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017)

Just when you think Hollywood couldn't seek any lower................?

[1/10 · 6 March 2018]

Blatant, disgusting anti-cop crap; makes police look like a bunch a foul-mouthed, gutless, cowards, who let the public curse and spit at them at will without repercussions. Leading actress may have been the most unsympathetic character in movie history, someone audience roots against, from start to finish. Supposedly takes place in Missouri, but I can't imagine the actual natives using the "F" word as frequently in a single year, then these actors do in a minute. Movie was trash, a watse of ninety minutes, and $5.99.

Dunkirk (2017)

Swing and a miss!

[5/10 · 21 July 2017]

OK, but could have been sooooooooo much better, considering the historical material they had to work with.

For those who don't know what movie is about, it's based on the true story of the evacuation of Dunkirk in France during World War II. That is, 400,000 British & French soldiers were TRAPPED, with no hope of escape possible, as the German army them surrounded.

How important is this? Virtually ALL serious military historians agree that if the Nazis took proper advantage of the situation, World War II would have ENDED, right then and there, and Hitler would have taken over Europe, Asia, Africa, and who knows what else.

Anyway, movie BORED me, and I'm a serious history buff. Movie focused on six or seven guys, under fire, yeah, private boats helped to evacuate them to England, but didn't come CLOSE to getting the message across that THIS was the greatest evacuation in world history. Too bad.

Oh, and could have used subtitles- those British accents are indecipherable.

As movie ended, and before final credits began to roll, audience should have been told, on screen, that "This was the greatest evacuation in military history, thanks to the hundreds (if not thousands) of British citizens who used their own boats, at their OWN peril,to rescue their own countrymen, and so on..... Maybe have a few interviews of some of the survivors still living would have been a nice touch as well.

When typical moviegoer leaves theater, he may have no idea of the importance of the Dunkirk evacuation, and what it meant to world history.

Wonderful topic, movie done poorly.

Winter Passing (2005)

Not entirely "ho hum," but pretty darn close.

[3/10 · 19 March 2017]

Starts off dull, and ends that way, too. In between, not a heckuva lot happens either.

Girl has been estranged from her writer father for years, and sees a chance to make money off him, pays him an awkward visit, which last 2/3 of movie, and then, well, like I said, not much happens.

Actually, movie had some funny parts, NEITHER involving the main characters, but involved her father's living arrangements. Now THAT was rather humorous, I found.

Lead character girl, while not a sleazebag, was very unlikable, and not the type of person you'd root for, nor even care if her part ended twenty minutes after movie started.

Waste of time, and would NEVER see it again.

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (2016)

Close, but didn't go far enough

[8/10 · 15 January 2016]

Sad, depressing true story of the brave men who needlessly were slaughtered in 2012.

For some reason, filmmaker ignored the fact that embassy REPEATEDLY and REPEATEDLY wanted more protection, but got NONE. Casually mentioned it ONCE, in a fleeting second, that's it.

Also, seemed to downplay the fact that the person ( a MAN, in real life, a WOMAN in Hollywood's PC environment) who ordered the "stand down" and refused to send help, completely DENIES that stand down was ordered, at end of movie, almost as an afterthought. This should have been made a HUGE part of the movie. It was not, unfortunately.

Also, the Clinton/Rice/Obama non-existent "video" fairy tale cover-up was nowhere to be found, and I found that horribly disappointing, and unexcusable.

Tom Brown's School Days (1940)

Better than Goodbye Mr. Chips!

[9/10 · 19 March 2015]

One of the best movies that NO ONE KNOWS or TALKS ABOUT (0nly 14 reviews in twenty years should give you a clue) I saw this movie DECADES before I saw "Chips" so maybe I'm prejudice, but I think it's better nonetheless.

After the success of "Chips," I'll bet studio went scrambling to find a similar book to make a film of, and this was it. They, did- it was based on Thomas Hughes' novel, TOM BROWNS SCHOOL DAYS. (But it receives NO credit in the movie- what happened there?)

Characters and acting all top notch. Kind of a sad movie, especially when poor Tom is ostracized for something he didn't do. Many American actors were used, but their fake British accents weren't bad at all. (I thought they were REAL ENGLISHMEN for years.) Has a somewhat happy ending I guess, though it takes a great man's death to cause it.

Might contain the worst "stunt double" scene in movie history- when Tom steals cart, look closely - his "double" is about thirty years older than him! I submitted this in the "Goof" section to no avail.

I recommend this movie to everyone of all ages.

Street Scene (1931)

I think only us New Yorkers will love this movie. Or maybe not.

[9/10 · 17 December 2014]

Probably gave it more stars than it deserves, but I just love the White-ethnic characters in the flick, and how the Irish act IRISH,(drinkers, want to fight) Jewish act Jewish, (Communists) Italians act,.....and so on.

No way would this movie be allowed to be made nowadays; think the PC Police would allow the one Jewish kid to be called "kike" over and over?

Lots of great ethnic stereotypes; no one had to pretend that "we are all the same" in those days.

Movie actually made in Hollywood, but you'd swear it was made ON LOCATION on NY'S Lower East Side. I believe the address of the tenement was supposed to be 346 East Broadway. I used to work in the area, and believe it's still there.

And how about that authenticity of the NYPD wearing 7th Precinct collar brass? It was, and still is, the Precinct that covers the Lower East Side.

Set guys really did their homework on this one.

Boyhood (I) (2014)

Great idea, but a real yawner, with typical Hollywood left-wing propaganda

[2/10 · 13 September 2014]

What a great concept! Filming a movie over the course of twelve years with the same actors, we get to watch them age, and so on. From there........?

Movie starts out with blatant Bush-Bashing, by Hawke's character, going so far as to having his kids put Obama signs on lawns, and stealing McCain signs.

But wait a second- Hawke's character is a worthless, jobless, layabout who mooches off others, so maybe it's PERFECT that he was an Obama supporter? I just thought of that.

Anyway, if this was a normal movie, filmed over a normal time frame, it would never been made in the first place.

Imagine someone watching twelve year's worth of your home movies, condensed into three hours, and you get the gist.

Traces family over the course of twelve years, but almost NOTHING HAPPENS! No comedy, no tragedy, no drama, no NOTHING, just a family and their son getting twelve years older. No one to really root for or against, just, well, I don't know.

Imagine the "Housewives of New Jersey," minus the screaming or shouting, but just a bunch of slightly annoying broads just going about the business of life; that's twelve years long, and you get to watch them all age. Or a twelve-year long episode of a modern-day, ever-so-slightly dysfunctional "Brady Bunch," crammed into three hours maybe? Bingo!

Ending, if you want to call it that, tells viewer NOTHING. It's as if the director said, "alright, 12 years is enough, let's get the hell out of here."

Veeeery long, drawn out, and every scene could have been completed in HALF the time, without missing a beat.

Not getting the positive reviews.

King & Country (1964)

Not getting' it.....

[4/10 · 3 August 2014]

.....My cable company gave this three and one half (out of four) stars, and I don't know why.

Sort of a poor man's Paths of Glory or Caine Mutiny with none, and I mean NONE of the charm or depth.

Movie didn't change much, from the first few minutes to almost the end.

Didn't learn a great deal about WWI, either.

Yeah, yeah, we get it, soldier leaves post due to either shell shock or cowardice and is put on trial, facing a possible death sentence. Boy, how many movies have had THIS plot before? Yawn.

I thought the only thing that could rescue this crappy film was a surprise or happy ending, but I got neither.

Salesman (1969)

Did we really smoke that much in those days?

[8/10 · 12 July 2014]

Answer: YES!

Reminds me when I was a kid, when your dad wouldn't think twice about walking into your neighbor's house while puffing on a cigar.

Door to door bible salesman out on the road, trying to sell $50.00 bibles (equivalent of asking someone to pay $300.00 for a bible today, I'll bet) to low, low, low income people.

So depressing, I could barely watch; I don't know who I felt more sorry for, the salesman or their targets.

Never heard of this doc before- was only able to catch the last hour, but I can't think of a worse job for grown men to have.

Any follow up info on these poor guys out there?

But at least they could wear a suit & tie to work, right?

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

Saw it last night, and I'm still not sure.................

[4 May 2014]

.............if it was very good, or a waste of time.

Film was touted as a "comedy," but the only people in the theater that were laughing were those annoying elderly "snowbirds," who would laugh at a spilled coffee mug as long as they paid their eight bucks. A couple of light moments, sure, but laugh-out-loud hi jinx? No way.

Interesting movie, but I don't think I'd ever want to see it again. Though I might recommend it to a friend, it still falls in the "inbetweener" category; you'd either love it, or think it's mediocre. but no one should hate it.

SPOILER ALERT!!!!! The elderly Murray Abraham character is supposed to have been the Indian boy you see throughout the film but he looks nothing like an Indian- were they afraid to darken his skin because of Hollywood's PC climate? I'm saying "Yes."

Blue Bloods (2010–2024)

Political Correctness gone amok?

[7 February 2014]

Ahem! As a lifelong New Yorker, I find the ehtnicities of virtually all the "bad guys" in this series laughable.

No matter what the crime, ugly situation, or misanthropes in general, they are virtually all WHITE!

If that's not bad enough, check a look at the "wanted posters" in the backgrounds of various precincts of DA's offices throughout the city. Thank goodness for DVR- you can find this trend yourself the next time you watch. Again, they are ALL artist sketches of WHITE GUYS! I've seen about twenty episodes of this series, and not ONCE have I seen an exception! Yeah, I know, bad guys come in all colors, but this is New York- how stupid do the writers & producers think we are? Like a series about the Tijuana Police Dept. and all the crooks are Japanese!

And speaking of "PC," almost all the cops have WOMEN as partners! Gimme a break! I have too many relatives in the NYPD itself to know what a joke this is- until the New York Giants hire a woman as a middle linebacker, no self-respecting cop or cop's family, would have some bubble-headed broad watching his back.

Final thing that bothers me is that this is supposed to be a family of third-generation New Yorkers, yet that all have hokey Midwestern accents. Am I the only one to notice this?

I hope this post puts to rest the "authenticity" drivel I see from other reviewers.

Don Jon (2013)

This is a movie?

[4 January 2014]

Are you kidding?

What was this- Drama? Nope, I couldn't care less what happened to any of the characters, and there was no plot either.

Comedy? Better not be, cause NOTHING made me even smile, let alone laugh.

I don't think any of the leading actors talked in anything but a steady monotone start-to-finish.

Movie synopsis: Boy watches porno on laptop, quite frequently, meets girl who disapproves, and.................that's it! No, I'm not kidding.

If movie's budget was over ten grand, someone threw their money away. EYE could have filmed a movie just as good with my cell phone, and so could you.

I don't think this movie was ever released- it escaped!

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

Very good movie, but soooooooooo long...........

[8/10 · 1 January 2014]

Yeah, I know: No GOOD movie can be too long,and no BAD movie can be too short, but............

Film about 2 hours, 40 minutes long. Off the top of my head, I can see where at LEAST 30 minutes could have been cut, without it effecting the flick what so ever.

Seems like every sex scene, and there are many, is drawn out way too long. A shot with LD staggering out of the country club last around ten minutes, when about 30 SECONDS would have worked just as well.

A lot of useless dialogue was used which contributes NOTHING to the plot, pointless crap abounds, etc.

Never before have I looked at my watch so much during a good movie. Shame, cause acting was first rate all the way around.

Very good picture, though, just don't make any plans afterward.

It Happened One Night (1934)

What's all the fuss about?

[5/10 · 3 November 2013]

Saw it for the first time yesterday, and knew in advance it was an American classic, so I expected a lot. What a disappointment, though. Clever, funny, OK, I guess, but could this picture have been any more predictable? Movie was about two hours long, and I had the ending figured out after about ten minutes- you too?

Here's the plot: Boy meets girl....boy/girl/girl's father hate one or the other, boy gets girl in the end. Exactly like every Elvis Presley movie ever made. Whoopie.

Again, a decent movie, but four Oscars? Just not getting it, unless the fix was in. Who knows for sure?

The Thin Red Line (1998)

Will...this....thing....ever....end?

[3/10 · 16 May 2013]

Or, better yet, will it ever get started?

Opening is about thirty minutes long, adding NOTHING to the film whatsoever.

Boring, pointless crap, and longer than Gone With the Wind, too.

So much drivel that's adds nothing to the story.

Seems like I've seen this movie before, but nothing this bad.

If I saw this at the thatre, I'd ask for a refund.

Biggest waste of three hours ever.

Boring beyond belief.

Nick Nolte is good, but otherwise mediocre performances all the way around. Still trying to figure out why this movie was made.

Change the channel immediately, and thank me later. Real yawner.