arthurmauk Reviews

The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show (2007 TV Special)

And here I thought angels could do no wrong...

[7/10 · 9 February 2008]

Every year there's a show that warms every man's blood and makes the winter worthwhile. That season is upon us again, and this year's is particularly treasured as there were (false, thank God) rumours circulating that Victoria's Secret was going to cancel it (!)

There were quite a few changes since last year's show, most notably which Gisele's contract had finished and did not get renewed. It's a real shame as VS is now missing their World's Richest Supermodel, and she has never failed to please with her opening walk. That honour has now been extended to Adriana. Secondly, to nobody's great surprise, Miranda Kerr was unveiled to be the latest addition to the Angels. I've never seen a more welcoming reception to a new VS model, her all-encompassing popularity with the fans is extraordinary, and personally I feel she's worth every bit of that status and more. At the tender age of 22, she must be the youngest Angel ever, and with her bounce and sass, she can pass for even younger. On the other hand, I have no idea what VS was on when they inducted Marisa Miller, she may have experience but she's far too old (and looks it!) – she sticks out like a sore thumb amongst the real beauties. My guess is that VS got insecure and felt it necessary to include an all-American Angel, bad move.

Alright, enough bitching. Let's get on with the show. As with last year's, this year's show was hosted by Heidi Klum. The opening skit was kind of lame and exploitative; and the Rocky theme was just pure cheese. Kanye West was supposed to be the artist opening the show this year, but he had to pull out. His replacement will.i.am did a fine job considering the time constraints and the impromptu-ness of his summoning, but really we were disappointed by his distinct lack of cool, something JT so effortlessly oozed last year. In fact, will brought an odour of sleaze to the show, and that wasn't just his song content.

As aforementioned, Adriana opened the show this year, and she seems to have been overcompensating – all her efforts to stir up the crowd just seemed desperate and gimmicky. The first collection was "Into The Wild" – think tiger prints set to a Blade Runner backdrop.

Another change this year was the "special features" which VS intersperses between the catwalks. I thought they did an excellent job last year, with models telling tales of their first kiss, etc. which was incredibly cute, but this year was decidedly dull, just simple video bios of the Angels. I consider myself a pretty hardcore fan, and even I was bored by listening to their histories.

The second segment was "Age of Elegance" – a tasteful, subtle collection which somehow made patterned cloths look outrageously sexy. Well, if anyone could do it, it'd be Victoria's Secret. And here was the only remix of the night, enjoy it while it lasts. The soundtrack always used to be full of stellar remixes but this year they must've gotten lazy. It's just not as special when we can just buy a copy on iTunes.

Even Victoria's Secret had to kowtow to this unfathomable craze with reality TV. In true America's Next Top Model fashion, VS toured the nation to find 30 girls, out of which one would be given the honour to walk the runway for PINK. This year's running theme was "Miss America", each model representing an American state. There were cowgirls, forest rangers, ski bunnies and all. It was amusing to see Miranda Kerr being the one chosen to open this line, her being an Aussie. Her Miss New York outfit is definitely my pick of the show. Our winner Katie Wilde actually does a surprisingly good job with her surfer chick outfit. Of course she doesn't exude as much confidence as the other more experienced models, but give her a few years and she might just be gracing the cover of your 2012 VS catalogue!

In the interlude we have another live performance, a duet by Seal and Heidi, who make such an adorable couple! The following collection was "Rome Antique", a flurry of golds, greens on rich silks wafting down the runway. There was even a mock Roman fountain in the background. After that was the "Surreally Sexy" collection, inspired by Dali, Man Ray, Magritte and co. It really was quite clever how they managed to recognisably work the famous pieces of art into the clothing line.

And here was the biggest mistake of the evening in my opinion. My guess was that Victoria's Secret simply hired the Spice Girls for the hype. They forgot about the fact that they simply _aren't very good_. Despite being a live performance, they mimed the whole thing and the backing dancers were inexplicably dressed as soldiers. Huh???

The night finishes with "Deck the Halls", a Christmas-themed collection with models dressed as ornaments, sexy Santas and the like. Selita was the golden girl who got to wear the million-dollar bra this year, sparkling like the queen she rightfully is. Seal is on stage again for a final song, backed by a chorus clad in red. For the finale, Heidi comes in with a dangerous-looking snowflake outfit. Not only does it look tacky, but that thing could really poke someone's eye out. :P

All in all, Victoria's Secret has put up another amazing show for us but that's what we've come to expect. The design ranges were, as always, incredibly sexy and innovative and the models outshone themselves once again. The production could be a bit slicker though, put some more thought into the music to make it sound more unique, and provide some more interesting special features to bridge the gaps. Have fun, and see you next year!

The Ten (2007)

Blasphemous and not in the good way either

[1/10 · 13 January 2008]

When I first saw this film on IMDb I got quite excited. After all, how can you possibly go wrong with such a star-studded cast? So despite the relatively low rating, I braved the winds to go see it. Boy was I wrong. David Wain seems to have done the impossible – brainwashed respectable actors into believing they're reading a decent script before signing their contracts. There cannot be any other explanation, I refuse to believe it. I don't normally waste my time reviewing films I regard to be bad, but this one offended my senses so much that any money I can deprive the filmmakers of would be a cause for the greater good.

Hmm, how should I start? The plot is conceptually sound: ten stories, each inspired by one of the ten commandments. It could've gone in the way of Magnolia or Crash: an epic story with an ensemble cast which eventually all ties up nicely after numerous conflicts. But the writers decided to try something new, which is great in theory, I welcome innovation and free enterprise in film-making, but they managed to balls it up so majorly that it's unwatchable. Paul Rudd is normally cute and lovable, but his character the narrator is cheesy and annoying as hell. And that's before we learn that he's screwing Jessica Alba (bouncy and two-dimensional as always, but that's how we like her), which instinctively makes every man on the planet want to kill him.

Now the stories themselves. It's hard to put my finger on which one is the worst because they are all so bad. Lazily thought up, nothing holding the piece together, each feels like an excuse to tell some really unfunny jokes, crude and distasteful. The connections to the Ten Commandments are marginal at best, false at worst.

I think by now you understand how much disdain I reserve for this movie, and the actors who shamed themselves by appearing in it. If you find any copies, BURN THEM. Think of the women and children.

Hotel Chevalier (2007)

"What the *beep* is going on?"

[2/10 · 30 September 2007]

Good question.

I haven't been so confused since watching Mulholland Dr. (which by the way is an excellent movie, unlike this one). Are we really supposed to take Jason Schwartzman seriously with that comical American-French accent (see: 14ème Arrondissement in Paris, je t'aime) and the stupid thick moustache? Natalie Portman fares no better, unconvincing as a seductive vamp with a tomboyish haircut. Both actors are too young and horribly miscast here.

The dialogue is awkward beyond belief and makes no sense whatsoever. I don't understand how anyone can praise this short film since it offers pretentious "mysteries" yet explains nothing to satisfy our reluctant suspense. Until The Darjeeling Limited is released one can't really say it's good at all except stylistically. I suppose if Anderson's intention was to create hype then fine, he did his job, I will watch The Darjeeling Limited just out of curiosity to see whether he will redeem himself.

The background music is far too loud and distracting. Now is that more arty-farty symbolism, an homage to Paul Thomas Anderson or did Wes just forget to turn the sound down on his PC whilst editing? I know the exaggerated use of yellow was an intentional decision he made, but it turned out that he made a bad decision. The one shot that was beautiful and near perfect was the memorable balcony scene, in which the colours really does take your breath away. Promising, shame about the other 12 minutes.

Oh, and for the overzealous horny fanboys (for which I am one), Ms. Portman does not go nude for this film. Disappointing and unsatisfying, perhaps that's why I feel so bitter and cheated. Ah well.

28 Weeks Later (2007)

The end is once again extremely ****ing nigh

[9/10 · 27 August 2007]

I've never been a huge fan of the zombie horror genre, but I was very impressed by Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later… Somehow it managed to create characters worth caring about as well as throwing mindless zombies at them. So when I heard that a sequel was in the making, I was excited but understandably cautious since the Disappointing Sequel Syndrome is all too common nowadays. I also disapproved of the director switch, fearing that yet another low-budget gem will be Americanised by Hollywood, made far too slick for its own good.

So to say 28 Weeks Later was a pleasant surprise would be an understatement. Fresnadillo managed to maintain everything that was good in the original and add his own flair. The rage virus, the zombies and the gore are all still here. But most importantly, what keeps the series shockingly vivid is the willingness to flaunt the naked truth: we humans are the real monsters. Under such extreme circumstances, mankind's self-preservation instincts kicks in and it is an ugly sight to see. It might be the necessary thing to do, but that still doesn't make it feel right.

The film starts off at an odd pace but soon settles into a familiar terror-stricken rush. The cast was well selected, nothing out of the ordinary but no obvious weak links either. The Americanisation was not as severe as I had previously dreaded, and I actually quite welcomed Rose Byrne and Jeremy Renner leading the plot. The shots of post-apocalyptic London may have been done already but they're still as effective as ever, and John Murphy's score is brilliant as always.

All in all, a worthy sequel to Days and very few fans will be disappointed, I hope.

Dead Poets Society (1989)

Makes your life extraordinary

[9/10 · 2 August 2007]

Nowadays, the phrase "carpe diem" is referenced to so often that it actually sickens me. You see it pasted into the Favourite Quotes section of every Myspace of every teenage rebel without a cause, trying to display their impulsiveness and individuality by claiming stake over a Latin phrase written two thousand years ago. Tonight, I watched this film for the first time, and for once I feel a little sympathy for those who tell us to "Seize the day". It's a testament to the film's strength how overused that phrase is – it may not have been originated from the film, but it certainly popularised it.

The film is set in a 1950s boarding school for boys. Despite how distant and tedious that sounds, Weir quickly introduces us to the main characters and we realise that these teenage boys are not all that different from us. They have the same tendencies, the same overbearing parents, and the same problems with members of the opposite sex. They are real people. It's that emotional bond that Weir establishes so early and establishes so well that makes the rest of the movie so effective. You really feel like "one of the guys" – you laugh when they do, you cry when they do, and you feel the zest, the zeal, the exhilarance that comes so naturally with being young.

Soon we meet John Keating, the new English teacher. The way I see it, the poetry that he teaches is simply a medium to get his message across. What he really teaches is a life lesson beyond even the scope of poetry: independent thinking and personal liberty. Robin Williams is truly inspirational in his role here, and well-deserved of that Oscar. I think we've all wanted a teacher like Keating in school and I believe this character has touched the souls of many an audience and has turned their lives around, urging them to be better people. We all got the message. The fact that Williams' performance can reach through the screen like that is so rare and incredible. In fact, all of the Dead Poets Society's acting is pretty strong, and this helps us feel what they feel: anguish, indignation, love.

The film weaves through one issue after another, utilising each experience to teach us a lesson, yet we never feel patronised. It reaches the climax but never stoops so low as to conform to a cliché. Towards the end it even asks you the question on who do you side with. I don't want to spoil anything here, but the last scene is nothing short of extraordinary. I actually had tears welling up in my eyes. I can't guarantee the same for you, but in my opinion, this is one of the most powerful and moving endings ever. Ethan Hawke (who was frankly underused in the rest of the film) finally makes a stand for himself and proves that I had not overestimated his talent.

Regardless of what generation you're from, this film will inspire you to "seize the day". There, I said it.

The Breakfast Club (1985)

Hughes' finest

[5/10 · 31 July 2007]

I never understood why John Hughes was so lauded as an 80s teen movie master. To me, Sixteen Candles was unrealistic, Pretty in Pink was unsatisfying and Ferris Bueller was totally over the top. But fluke or not, I have to give him credit for writing the best high school movie (for once I do agree with Entertainment Weekly).

What makes The Breakfast Club so special then? I'd like to think it's the characterisation. Despite being such stereotypical brain/athlete/basket case/princess/criminals, the cast somehow makes it all work and adds so many distinct dimensions to the characters that you can relate to everyone. Never have I met someone who has said they couldn't identify with anyone from The Breakfast Club. The entire cast is simply outstanding, with my personal favourite being Ally Sheedy who manages to steal scenes without even speaking! Judd Nelson of course has to carry most of the movie on his shoulders, but I can't imagine a better actor to lead this fine film. Even the supporting cast is brilliant, John Kapelos always possessing that devious twinkle in his eye.

Like all of Hughes' "Brat Pack" films, this one deals with a theme: one that does not involve the Molly Ringwald character trying to get a boyfriend. Well, almost. The film talks about subjects that matter to a teenager, and one of the most problematic ones is the parents. Whether it's pressure for success, going through a divorce, or simply ignoring your child, Hughes shows us all the ways how parental influence can screw up a kid for life. And he does this without falling into the trap of being condescending, which in itself is mighty impressive. And of course, there's the topic eternally plaguing all teenagers: sex. The end result is a hilarious script, witty yet still heartfelt.

Of course, the film is not perfect. The pace ground down to a halt when they did the typical "share our problems in a circle" thing, but soon conflict arose and it became interesting again. Pairing Alison with Andy always felt a little forced to me, especially after she is made over by Claire. But I guess that epitomises the teenage years – even at the sweetest times (and oh how sweet they are) there will never be a lack of issues.

I wasn't even born yet on March 24, 1984, but somehow Hughes manages to make me reminisce about "the good old times". Because really, are our teenage generations all that different?

Disturbia (2007)

A pretty strong thriller

[6/10 · 30 July 2007]

Refreshing to see such a film that's capable of building up suspense at the right moments without taking itself too seriously. Impressive stuff considering there's no blood and gore and it's all for a PG-13 audience. The 'thriller' part of the film is almost forgotten at times since you're just having so much fun with the characters and the teen drama aspect of it. The actors all played their parts pretty well, none of them were glaringly out-of-place. Shia LaBeouf is shaping out to be quite a solid male lead, but Aaron Yoo was probably the MVP here with a hilarious turn as Ronnie. Sarah Roemer may not be Elisha, but she's still hot and teasing enough to keep you both intrigued and frustrated at the same time. I didn't think much of David Morse's acting – he was just quiet whilst lacking the intimidating intelligence exhibited by, say, Sir Anthony Hopkins. Some of the events were not entirely believable, and required a few deus ex machinas to move things along, but that's to be expected from a thriller where the protagonist is not a professional. The soundtrack is your typical teen-angsty stuff, perfect when you're feeling sorry for yourself. There's probably some deep philosophical subtext on the lack of privacy in the modern world if you dig around long enough, but really, what's the point? Overall, a pretty strong thriller.

Get Over It (2001)

Just a fun feel-good movie

[8/10 · 3 June 2007]

I caught this on TV again last night and I was reminded of just how much fun it was to watch this movie. In the age where teen slapstick comedies are a pound for a dozen, Hollywood occasionally manages to get it just right and produce something with heart, like this one. The story is loosely based around The Bard's perhaps most popular comedy in that it also utilises a love square.

Sure, the film is never going to win an Academy Award any time soon, but really, that's not what you're watching this film for, is it? It's light and fluffy, perfect for a night in with some friends and you can all get some laughs out of it. The casting was perfect; right down to Shane West's laughably abysmal accent. Ben Foster is definitely nerdy enough to play the "hapless loser" or so Berke calls himself, and you can't help but feel sorry for him as he tries so hard at every turn to win back his ex-girlfriend in vain. But sometimes you just want to scream at him for not seeing what's right in front of him: Kelly, played by the gorgeous Kirsten Dunst, the quintessential girl next door. However, the star of the show here is actually Martin Short, who manages to steal every scene he's in as a maniacal, completely OTT drama director. His lines are pure gold and he manages to accompany that with a crazed performance – "Pluck! You've got to PLUCK it!"

What sets this film apart from all the rest is that it's a musical that works. The actual production at the end was fantastic, had some great energetic, toe-tapping numbers and O'Haver did a marvellous job directing it. This is exactly what High School Musical tried to be and failed. It's a shame that some of the production songs aren't on the OST because if carried out in full, I think they're good enough to fit onto an album in their own right. I know I would love to watch the final production in its entirety. Kirsten Dunst really surprised me with how good of a singer she is.

So watch it, laugh out loud, and don't take it too seriously. It sure didn't.

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006)

Disappointment – but what else would you expect?

[5/10 · 27 May 2007]

I went into the film fully expecting another mediocre book-to-film adaptation, and unfortunately, it met my expectations. Tom Tykwer is one of my favourite directors and I had high hopes that he would be able to transfer Suskind's sensational read into the audio-visual format, but regrettably, it appears that the medium of film is not quite ready yet. Suskind vivified descriptions better than any other author I have ever read. Somehow, he managed to capture the wafts and wisps of every fleeting scent and ten minutes into reading the book, I discovered a heightened sense of smell. That effect seemed to have been lost in translation. Admittedly, filmmakers only have two channels to work through: the sense of sight and the sense of sound, whereas Suskind's magic was weaved through our greatest sense of all: our imaginations. Kubrick and Scorsese both conceded that Das Parfum was "unfilmable" and although I admire Tykwer's willingness, he happened to prove the master directors correct. Visually, Tykwer produced an impressive banquet of colours, contrasting between the spectacular and the mundane, the sensual warm palettes and the pale cold ones. But they were still cheap substitutes, and that was not enough. Flashes and glimpses of various objects do not liven our sense of smell. Neither do too many shots of Grenouille's nose with an added sound effect of someone inhaling. There was very little subtlety involved in conjuring up the imagery. The score was divine at times when it was brave enough to crescendo (most notably when Grenouille smells Laura for the second time) but mostly it was just average and too quiet to make an impact.

Really, the filmmakers really fell over at the first hurdle: casting. I thought they ought to have looked harder for actors more suited to their roles, and if they couldn't find that perfect someone, abandon the project entirely. Ben Whishaw certainly looks demented enough, but too young and boyish to play our protagonist. For the first half of the book, Grenouille is expected to be an ugly, hunchbacked, yet arrogant subhuman. Whishaw just looked scared. The English accents felt equally out of place in 18th century Paris. Dustin Hoffman was simply ridiculous as Baldini, far too jolly and adding comedy where there was meant to be none. The true Baldini was devilishly resourceful and scheming, something that Hoffman doesn't understand. I was expecting Alan Rickman to balance him off with a little more gravitas, but apparently nobody told him that he was no longer playing Snape. John Hurt's narration was bearable, but personally I am strongly against narrators in films though for something like this I'll concede it may be necessary. There was one surprisingly bright beacon of hope among the cast, and that was Rachel Hurd-Wood as Laura. With how the book described her as the female Messiah, I expected to be disappointed with the film version, but she was simply perfect and more. I'm thankful that they did not decide to cast a twenty-something in the role of Laura and let her pretend to be the paradigm of chastity and virtue. Her innocence spoke volumes and I can see how Suskind could summarise it as incest-inducing in Richis.

It was only when Laura appeared on screen that you felt that Grenouille finally had a goal. Before that, he seemed to have been aimlessly wandering around with only a concept of what he was planning to do. But here is where the film contrasts the most with the book – while the book was getting tedious towards the end, the film only now starts to spark up. Unfortunately, it still cannot inspire splendour and magnificence as the book could. There was nothing artistic about Whishaw's Grenouille, you only felt dirty and perverted as the beast gazed upon such a creature of beauty.

As with every book-to-film adaptation, time is the most valuable asset and to compensate, parts must be carved out, making it feel like an impoverished imitation. Not only that, some parts were diluted and pasted in hastily in a poor attempt to recover its former glory. Virgin No. 1 was one of the most monumental moments in the book and you could almost taste the warm, syrupy, yellow plum juices dribbling down her hand. Yet minutes before, the film for some reason decided to inject in an unnecessary meeting between the two. The first night down at Baldini's cellar, when Grenouille was a whirlwind of talent whilst in creating Nuit Magique, was decidedly unspectacular. The climax of the film, when Grenouille showcases his ultimate perfume and provokes a mass orgy, was simply too weak. Whishaw looked unconvincing, childish, and downright silly in that blue suit, brandishing a handkerchief(!) as if it was meant to inspire slavish devotion amongst the crowd. If Grenouille could fool the masses into believing that he was an angel, we should be under that same illusion. Instead we get shots of Whishaw pathetically waving his arms and punching the air, Henman-style.

A minor grudge I hold against Tykwer is how he mishandled the deaths of all those who played a part in Grenouille's life. Suskind did a great job to amusingly mock all of those fleeting personalities and their respective demises, and I thought if anyone could capture that fully, it would be Tykwer since he has done it before (and well) in Lola Rennt. However, for some reason he just missed the target on this one.

If you do want to enjoy the film, it is probably a better idea not to read the book first otherwise you may feel cheated. Trying to recreate paradise in two dimensions was always going to be an impossible task. I must applaud Tykwer for having the guts to take up that gauntlet, but perhaps it was better to leave Suskind's masterpiece alone until the world of film is ready.

Paris, I Love You (2006)

Vraiment, je t'aime tant

[4/10 · 6 May 2007]

I think I fell in love with this film before even watching it. The initial concept was just so brilliant – 18 stories by 18 directors set in 18 arrondissements of Paris, worshipping it in all its glory and triumph. It was so unique and fresh, different from all the films I have previously seen. And being the Francophile I am, I knew I had to watch it immediately. As I lovingly unwrapped the DVD cover (even that was designed with great consideration - the splash of red on Miranda Richardson's trench-coat is both bold and understated at the same time), I knew I was going to be in for an enjoyable, and distinctly Gallic ride.

And it fails to disappoint. Well, mostly. The over-arching theme can of course only be love, considering that all of the stories are set in the most romantic city in the world. But each writer/director approached the subject from their own perspective, following the "rules" as strictly or as loosely as they desired. Some set out to send a message to the audience; some wanted the capture the raw emotion of the characters; and some just decided to be funny. It's not a film that you want to be watching with a mob of people, but is a film that you'll want to discuss intimately with your loved ones afterwards. Everyone will have their favourites and least favourites, and exploring those instincts with others is by far one of the most enjoyable experiences that the film brings to the table.

Each story lasts around five minutes. For some, it is the perfect length and for others, you yearn to learn more about the characters. The cast is superb and none of them threatens to overshadow the others. Pierre Adenot does a fantastic job with scoring the film – quaint little set pieces and decidedly French, like quiet musings to the soul. It is a shame that two arrondissements fell through, I would've loved to see what Raphael Nadjari and Christoffer Boe would have done with Popincourt et Vaugirard. But since each story can be viewed as a masterpiece in its own right, the film does not feel incomplete.

Day Watch (2006)

I need to get myself one of those yo-yos...

[9/10 · 12 January 2007]

I must admit that before this film I was never a real fan of the Watcher series. A Russian friend of mine advised me to watch Nochnoy Dozor. I was impressed, but hardly blown away. So I went into this film expecting another worthless sequel Hollywood seems to be churning out by the dozen. But this is not Hollywood, and this is not another worthless sequel. In fact, this is surprisingly amazing. Every aspect of the original have been amplified up ten times until you can almost feel the room reverberating. We're spoilt with so much cinematic impact right from the start. The CGI landscapes are breathtaking and the epic battles are just as panoramic as something out of a LoTR film.

The cast is kept the same as the original, all still pitch-perfect in their roles. I can't imagine anyone other than Khabensky playing our helplessly flawed hero. The premise might seem overused (Light versus Dark) but the background plot is actually very unique. I love how the leaders can joke around with each other when taking time off being sworn mortal enemies. And you can tell that the film is a book adaptation by how deep the story goes. Very few aspects are covered completely, leaving you to wonder what motives have some of the characters really got, and what was decidedly cut out of the film version. The soundtrack is one of the most erratic ones I've ever heard but works perfectly for this film. One scene a romantic love score, the next some adrenaline pumping heavy metal, immediately followed by a chirpy joke song. I honestly can't say much about the script since I don't understand Russian, but I feel that there are some in-jokes that would be hilarious if only I understood them. And that's the surprising thing about the film - despite all of its mind-blowing action, there is still time for the writer to fit in some matured dry humour!

I've now been thoroughly converted into a Watcher fan. The first thing I'll do is hunt down some English copies of the books. It feels to me as if the first film is just an introduction to these characters and leads up to the second film where the action heats up. A little surprised by the conclusive ending but can't wait to see what they'll do with it in the next film!

This Life + 10 (2007 TV Movie)

An outsider's perspective

[8/10 · 2 January 2007]

I had never seen "This Life" before, but I took a leap of faith and followed my TV guide. It turned out to be right for once. I immediately bonded with the characters and the show wasted no time in getting to the juicy bits. I felt like I had been with flatmates with these guys since forever, even five minutes into the programme! The mock documentary format was put to good use as we got to know our new (old) characters again. It was being used as an aside comment box, telling us things that would feel unnatural had it been told in the third person. I thought it worked very well. The drama unfolded gradually and we learnt about how each character has developed since we last saw them ten years ago (well, for the first time for me!). There were some surprises and confusions but I ate it all up. I don't want to spoil the plot, especially for the nostalgic fans, so I won't say anything more other than it's all top notch, riveting stuff. I don't know how it compares to the original series, but since I've enjoyed this special so much I'm considering buying the DVDs for them. An entertaining 90 minutes and I would recommend it even for those who have not seen "This Life" before, you'll get sucked in right away. Oh, and before I go, I must gush about the music. I'm a soundtrack freak and I adored this one - some very current selections at the start that gave it an optimistic note, and from what I've heard they put in some classic tracks as an homage to the original series. The funniest thing was that I was thinking how great it would be to have some Portishead on the show, and then Sour Times kicked in(!) Very apt, especially with Beth Gibbons wailing "Cos nobody loves me... it's true." right when Anna was talking. Props to the music team. ;)

The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show (2006 TV Special)

The Second Greatest Show on Earth?

[8/10 · 31 December 2006]

Another year, another Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. As I've noted in my 2005 review, every year the people at Victoria's Secret plan a fashion show that is totally out of this world while tastefully teasing the boundaries. I stand in awe and admiration for the designers, producers, choreographers, and of course the models themselves. It blows my mind how they can put together something so glamorous and sexy without having to include that bitter aftertaste of guilt and knowing that you've done something sinful.

This year marks the first year that that Izabel Goulart and Selita Ebanks represent Victoria's Secret as fully-fledged "Angels". And with them they bring plenty of new recruits: Miranda Kerr from Australia, Jessica Stam from Canada, the list goes on… In fact, the whole show this year feels lighter and bubblier than the shows from previous years. Perhaps it's due to the departure of Tyra Banks, a modelling veteran whose spirit and sass nobody can replace. Nevertheless, the fresh new faces truly outdone themselves and put up a great show. I see a bright future in Victoria's Secret for all of them.

Heidi Klum could not be modelling on the runway of course, so she opted to present the show. Even without wearing fabulous lingerie she has a certain glow to her that makes her an immediately appealing host. As always, Victoria's Secret puts in a number of "bonus features" within their televised show to spice things up a bit. There was a cute little interview with various models about their first love, first kiss, etc. which gives a certain insight to the experiences of these real-life goddesses. Another feature had Jessica wearing an "Angel Cam" to show what life was really like behind the scenes during a PINK promotion and a commercial shoot. It was quite amusing to watch all the frenzy and madness backstage as models hurry to change outfits and the producer warning the cameramen to back off.

There was an incredulous amount of hype prior to airing surrounding the live appearance of Justin Timberlake. The man has reinvented himself as a sex god and must be one of the hottest acts this year. So of course, Victoria's Secret had to have him. What a genius incentive to get the girls to tune in and a reward for the loyal wives and girlfriends forced to watch the show by their drooling other halves. He kicked off the show with a live performance of "SexyBack", the first single released from his new album FutureSex/LoveSounds. He later returns half way through to perform two more songs: "My Love" and "LoveStoned". Admittedly, I was never really a fan until I saw his impressive acts in this. He does add an electrifying atmosphere to the show and even backstage the models are restlessly chattering away about how hot he is. Let's just say this: last year Victoria's Secret invited Chris Botti, Seal and Ricky Martin while this year they knew they could just leave the stage to him alone.

And the music, oh, the music. Though the soundtrack to this year's show seems to be less popular than last year's one, Victoria's Secret's DJs Jeremy Healy and cheekypaul did put up a top-rate selection to entertain us with. Mash-ups of Jamelia VS Depeche Mode to an ambient remix of The Killers provided the perfect backdrops to models strutting their stuff on the runway. The set was of course lavishly over-the-top and extravagant, with rock priests placed in box frames for the finale – a gospel mix of David Guetta's "Just A Little More Love".

The models themselves were of course simply divine. Here are God's most gorgeous creatures on Earth congregated into one room, and they're all only wearing underwear! Victoria's Secret titillates every man's fantasy as the themes dip from "Alice in Wonderland" and "Air Hostess" to "Highlands" and "Winter Wonderland". Coupled with great music and a feast of special treats, that's what I call entertainment. I would definitely recommend taking an hour out of your time to watch this, there really is not another show in the world that rivals Victoria's Secret in what creates. Have fun, and see you next year!

The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show (2005 TV Special)

The Greatest Show on Earth

[9/10 · 9 December 2006]

Before I start, I must admit that I am biased towards this particular show since it was the first Victoria's Secret Fashion Show I saw. Since then I've tried to watch all the shows that have been aired, but nothing will compare to this since this is the one that opened my eyes to a new world of expression and the one that I attach a certain sentimental value to. Every year the people at Victoria's Secret plan a fashion show that is totally out of this world while tastefully teasing the boundaries. I stand in awe and admiration for the designers, producers, choreographers, and of course the models themselves. It blows my mind how they can put together something so glamorous and sexy without having to include that bitter aftertaste of guilt and knowing that you've done something sinful. And they do this year after year without it ever becoming tedious or unoriginal!

The 2005 Show slowly rolls in with a delightfully sensual performance from Chris Botti. The chill-out trumpet sets the mood for the evening while the opening credits hint at what's to come. We get a peek at some of the real frenzy happening backstage. The director gives a pep talk to the models: "Please make it as hot, as up, as sexy, as energetic, and better than you've ever been!" Gisele kicks off the first theme "Presents" with a broody strut, timing each sway perfectly to the music. No wonder why she's the world most famous model. The little red devil wings she was wearing made her look even more sizzling than ever before, if that's possible. She was followed by some of the other Victoria's Secret's Angels – Karolina, Alessandra, Ana Beatriz, each stepping out of the giant gift box. Before the break, Heidi, Ed Razek and Monica Mitro recount the story of how Victoria's Secret has evolved into such a titanic entity since the first VS Fashion Show ten years ago.

The next theme was "Femme Fatale" and the backdrop was a giant red screen, onto which a dark silhouette of a model undressing was cast. Tyra comes in with a tight black corset and smoky black wings. She knew how to work the crowd, pumping her arms up into the air, winking and smiling, practically throbbing with energy and excitement. More models followed, continuing with the black-on-white theme. Nancy Sinatra's "Bang Bang" completed the seduction while the Audio Bullys' remix gave it a modern touch. Gisele and Selita give us a quick tour of what's backstage before the next scene starts.

Seal revolves around in a hollowed-out glass sphere and sings "Love's Divine". Heidi then emerges from backstage with eight-feet high angel wings and light-up lingerie. At first she's looking down, like a nervous bride-to-be dressed all in white. But as she turns to her husband, they blow each other a kiss and she picks up all her confidence. She walks down the runway, literally glowing and beams a stunning smile. She knew that today, she is the bride. The rest of the models were all just bridesmaids.

The next theme was "Russia". Who would've thought that Paul Mauriat's "Plaine, ma plaine" would mix so seamlessly with Snoop Dogg's "Drop It Like It's Hot"? The sound produced was so ex-Soviet and patriotic. The colours here were in direct contrast to the last "Wedding" theme were everything was soft pastels. "Russia" was earthy and rugged: reds, golds, browns and blacks, each topped off with a large amount of fur and velvet.

Adriana opens "Sweeties" in a multicoloured outfit and clutching a scarf made out of brightly coloured pompoms. Then Alessandra steps in an outfit and wings made "completely out of candy". They both look absolutely delicious. The subsequent models are all wearing candy-themed lingerie: red-and-white, bright neons or just brandishing gigantic lollipops. Before the next scene, there is a tribute paid to Tyra, detailing her successes in her career as a supermodel. This is her final runway walk and she chose to end it with Victoria's Secret. Tears were flowing as everyone reminisced about how she taught the other girls how to work the runway with personality. Ricky Martin then had a live performance of "Drop It On Me". His voice was a little croaky that day, possibly due to the girls dancing and grinding into him.

The Grand Finale was "Toy Soldiers". Karolina opens in a Queen's Guard headgear and a mock rifle. More veteran models go by, trying to keep to the regimental theme: Gisele, Naomi, Selita, Adriana, Alessandra. The evening climaxes when Tyra comes out in a red cape and brandishing a sceptre topped with a "V". She is the queen tonight, this is her final show, and she pumps the sceptre triumphantly in celebration. She then leads rest of the models out for the ending. Everyone is cheering, laughing and singing along to "I Want Candy". They've finished another amazing show, everything went perfectly, and most importantly, everyone had so much fun! I don't know how much profit or loss Victoria's Secret makes off their annual Fashion Shows, but whatever it is, I hope they keep making these. I love everything about them: the hype, the clothes, the models, the music. There really is not another show on Earth that comes even close to the extravagance that Victoria's Secret offers. Have fun, and see you next year!

Stormbreaker (2006)

What the "heck"?!

[2/10 · 26 November 2006]

Normally I never post negative reviews on IMDb since then I get flamed by all the cultists, but this film is so painful to watch that explaining why it is both The Worst Book-to-Film Adaption Ever and The Worst Spy Movie Ever is worth it.

Everything about it just screams Parental Guidance. Strictly for under-13 fangirls to fawn over Pettyfer. I was suffocating in how lame/camp/cheesy/clichéd/etc. the script was. Alicia Silverstone saying "What the heck!" was just distracting: nobody says "heck" anymore! I've read the Alex Rider series, I loved them, but this makes me lose faith in Horowitz. Stick to writing novels and leave the screen writing to the pros. Understandably it's difficult to fit a novel into 90 minute movie, but if it's going to be so horrendous, then DON'T BOTHER TRYING. This misses out so much detail which is what made the book great and just leaves us with a hollow shell of "A teenager is a spy. How exciting." And did we really have to have a love interest in every film? Sabina was in perhaps two scenes, said nothing of interest and does not add to film in any way.

Normally in a bad film I can pick out at least one actor who is trying to redeem the film in vain. I'm struggling in this film. EVERYONE who acted in this film either overacted or seemed disinterested. I'm ashamed of all the people who decided to take part in this catastrophe. Individually and in other films most of them are all fine, but it's as if they conspired to make this one terrible. Fine, Alex Pettyfer didn't know any better since he's only 15, but why would the screen veterans contribute to this disaster? Pick up the script before you accept the role! And I despise how so many British films nowadays just decide to throw in cameos because it's "funny". "Ooh, there's Jimmy Carr! And Stephen Fry! And Robbie Coltrane!" It's damn distracting! If this is how it's going to be, then no wonder our film industry is going down the drain. Oh, and of course they had to include Kaiser Chiefs and Gorillaz in the soundtrack - it wouldn't be a British film without them! I'm surprised they didn't throw in The Streets or Arctic Monkeys in there too, for some bonus Britishness.

The book does a damn fine job at keeping us under the illusion that a 15 year old boy can really be a successful spy and thwart the plans of a megalomaniac. That's great, it's just entertainment. But the film decides to rip all of that stuffing out and replace it with some scenes of such incredulity that makes you want to scream at the screen "Yeah, right!" Sure, a teenager can ride through busy traffic while doing stunts to get to a scrapyard, escape from the jaws of death only to fend off five grown men with a rope... And of course our hero swoops into the museum at the last second, since that creates "tension", right? Oh, and don't get me started on the Bourne Identity horseback chase. This is not an homage, this is a parody. The Bourne series would never have anything to do with this.

I don't know who to blame for this sorry excuse of a film. It's not all Horowitz's fault since he was just trying to get by, make some more money off an already successful franchise. He understood that his main readers wouldn't appreciate a gritty, realistic spy film so he had to create something that is camp and cheesy with all the frills to impress the kids who get excited at fireworks. But unless he expected to make tons of money from this film (I really hope he didn't - that would just convince him that his formula is effective and he will create an even worse sequel.), why not just leave his legacy a legend rather than in ruins?

Thank You for Smoking (2005)

Flexible Morals

[9/10 · 22 October 2006]

It's not often that a budding director manages to secure a film that sets a high standard for all future films – much less a comedy, since all comedies nowadays seem to fall under the categories of: A) soppy, cheesy, romantic comedies with the predictable Happily Ever After ending; or B) teen comedies with gross-out moments and crammed full of gratuitous nudity. But Jason Reitman has achieved this impossible. He must've learned from his father Ivan's mistakes and decided to go in the opposite direction. The result is astonishing: a hilarious send-up of all that is politically correct. Neither side of the smoking debate was safe from the film's scathing wit. And that is the star of the show: Reitman's screenplay (adapted from Christopher Buckley's novel) is sheer genius. The comedy is smart and sophisticated. The clever one-liners came thick and fast, all delivered deadpan by a cast comprised of indie stars. Here is another strong point of the film. The ensemble cast is flawless and not one of them drops the torch which carries the consistent tempo throughout. Of course Aaron Eckhart (Nick Naylor on-screen) is the hero here. He steals the show with such credibility as the smooth-talking, charismatic charmer and manages to coax us into empathising with him, despite being the "villain protagonist" of the film. He personifies the perfect spin doctor; his oratorical rhetoric is practically intoxicating. It was simply empowering and inspiring to watch a master at work, triumphing in the face of all odds in a way that makes you wonder "How the hell did he do that?" minutes later.

His supporting cast does exactly that - support. Each of them symbolises someone unique attached to his life and everyone managed to extract the maximum amount of laughs out of their roles, no matter how short their screen time was. Maria Bello and David Koechner provided the perfect backseat commentary to the film – a much needed relief when the plot accelerates to a terminal velocity. Rob Lowe manages to supply a parallel to Nick, an equal that hints at what the film would be like, had the subject of satire been Hollywood rather than the tobacco industry. William H. Macy as Senator Finistirre is Nick's opposition, destined to trip up against our protagonist and to have his ass handed to him with style. J.K. Simmons was pitch-perfect as the disgruntled boss, Cameron Bright served as the inquisitive product of his father, and Katie Holmes was irresistible enough for us to believe her as the young, seductive reporter who manages to tease the information out of our seemingly-impervious Nick, by the common weakness to all men.

The plot itself comes secondary to the artistic style, unsurprising due to the sheer brilliance of it. Nick's life takes various twists and turns while he juggles a threat at work and fatherhood. The soundtrack is a collection of golden oldies from the 1940s and 50s. It gives a solid backbone to the story, especially when Nick spends some time alone to reflect upon his life.

A joy to watch and highly recommended if you're looking for one and a half hours of entertainment. Just sit back and bask in the glory of its dry and witty script, perfectly executed and enough to send the audience into a state of mesmerised euphoria.

Consent (2004)

A hilarious six minutes

[9/10 · 3 October 2006]

I came across this gem of a short on a random website. I was shocked by how much I loved it. I don't normally rate/review shorts but I had to write one for this. The script is deliciously witty and pokes gentle fun at college relationships and the consensual sex that often pairs with them. The lawyers were a genius medium for bargaining what was really on their "clients'" minds. It's hilarious to watch the two lawyers work with such strict professionalism about such a crude subject while the guy and girl wait aside, listening patiently. You can guess exactly what each "Article" is referring to.

The direction is smooth and structured - Jason Reitman has of course moved onto bigger and better things: he went on to direct Thank You for Smoking in 2005, another favourite of mine. The cast is not bad - the two lawyers were really the stars of the film: in particular Jeff Witzke who manages to deliver hilarity with such deadpan. The ending cuts off at a great point - leaves you on an optimistic high note, but is actually the perfect length since the quality would deteriorate if more time was forcibly added on.

All in all, a great way to spend 6 minutes and I hope you love it as much as I did.

The Girl Next Door (2004)

Just Go With It

[10/10 · 5 January 2006]

The Girl Next Door isn't a riotous, laugh-out-loud comedy, à la American Pie or Road Trip (don't get me wrong, I think they are fine movies of a different genre), nor should it be treated as such when being reviewed. It's much more mature, a sweet delight of a story that has you chuckling in amusement rather than rolling on the floor guffawing. For that, I would hardly even classify it in the generic 'comedy' genre. I must admit, I did go in thinking that I'd spend two hours of my life enjoying yet another teen comedy, with an overdone plot, jokes bordering on distasteful, and up to the brim with gratuitous nudity. However, I came out with so much more.

It's a classic tale of boy-meets-girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy lives happily ever after with girl. But what makes The Girl Next Door stand out from the rest is the superb cast. The casting director did a great job, placing Emile Hirsch opposite Elisha Cuthbert (both very talented young up-and-coming actors, I wish them well in luck, love and life). The pair's on-screen chemistry is undeniably electric. They portrayed Matthew and Danielle's relationship perfectly – loving and tender, yet fragile. This boy has fallen hopelessly in love for the first time, with the girl of his dreams. He has no past experience to draw on, he's terrified and confused, and he doesn't know what to do! As director Luke Greenfield pointed out in his commentary (Unrated DVD is a must-have for the hardcore fans), Emile and Elisha were chosen for their ability to act without dialogue, simply with their eyes. The subtleties in each expression brings so much more to the characters when watched closely in detail – every nervous bite of the lip, every slight mischievous arch in the eyebrow – you can tell exactly what they're thinking. Now, I've seen my fair share of movies/TV shows, and I'd be confident in saying that I have not yet seen another actor/actress able to fill those roles as perfectly and effortlessly as Emile and Elisha did. They must've poured their hearts out into these characters, bringing them to life, their romance blossoming on-screen.

And how can we ignore the superb supporting cast? Timothy Olyphant and Chris Marquette's work on this movie was simply priceless. They provided the comedy and laughs, and it would be impossible to list all of their hilarious one-liners here. A lot of people claim that they made the movie, and though I disagree, I can sure see where they're coming from.

And the music, oh, the music. I came of no great surprise to me to learn that Luke Greenfield writes all his projects to music. It is this unique trait that embellishes the movie with such a vivid background. From Bowie & Queen's "Under Pressure" opening montage to The Who's "Baba O'Riley" closing credits, every single song is perfect for its scene, particularly David Gray's "This Year's Love", mine and many other's favourite song in the soundtrack. It kicks in at the exact right moment and manages to capture everything about this innocent, pure, high school romance. Also, Paul Haslinger (second to none at composing scores) wrote some of his best work for The Girl Next Door. Simply put (again, stealing lines from the director) Haslinger is deadly with a piano. Each score enhances and fills the moment with such tension and suspense, most notably "Peeping Matt", when Matthew watches this gorgeous creature undressing through his window for the first time. There is an element of voyeurism and the excitement of the danger of being caught, as he watches the female movement and form unravelling with fascination and awe. He simply can't keep his eyes off her. It's a scene that many of us can connect with.

This is indeed one of those movies that ought to be watched on a DVD, at night, alone, rather than on a huge screen in the cinema with others. You'll find yourself leaving the end with a bittersweet aftertaste – will I find that special someone like Danielle? Do I need to be broken out of my shell? Is the juice worth the squeeze? Sure, it is an idealist fantasy, but it's also sweet, endearing and full of heart. It's how an old-school love story ought be done. Just suspend your belief for two hours, and watch the magic happen. Hell, just go with it.