bedragonned Reviews

Godzilla (I) (1998)

I liked it.... kinda... but....

[9 June 2007]

OK, a lot has been said here of why this film ain't what it could have been. To me, it was vastly superior to the original Godzilla flicks. Things have moved on from latex suits. As soon as the monster appears, it's sheer size and incredible scenes involving it running through New York had me very impressed.

The problem I have is the script. How, in all possibility, can a monster lizard that leaves ten-feet deep footprints on city streets, end up evading it's pursuers? Follow the huge holes! (Ok, with this film, that's what you have to do). Also grating was the over-use (once was too much) of a lame gag involving Matthew Broderick's character's hard-to-pronounce Greek name.

The ending was pure Jurassic Park (a long-lost mate of equal or even larger size would have been the ending that saved it, not pseudo-raptors sliding around a building)

That said, Hank Azaria and Matthew Broderick show they can star alongside Jean Reno and come off pretty well. Reno must have needed the money; this is no Leon or Ronin.

Open Water (2003)

Open Water... "Sh*t Film" more like

[1/10 · 7 October 2005]

This film was recommended to me as a water-borne "blair witch" but turned out to be a thoroughly depressing hour or so. Not depressed due to the bleakness of the character's situation, but due to the lack of anything interesting occurring. We get an attention-seeking bit of full nudity from the female star, then they go diving. They then meet a list of "likely annoyances in the sea" such as jellyfish, bad weather and sharks. Then they drown. That's it. The whole thing could have been wrapped up as a segment on a reality-TV "disasters at sea" show just as well. To all the pseudo-intellectuals out there who argue that a film doesn't have to follow a formula of action/explosions to be good, I must say if they want folk to listen to that argument then DO NOT cite this uninspired, NOT factual (how can anyone assume what befell them.... they were alone.... they died.... no bodies were found...) piece of cr*p.

Bio-Dome (1996)

Bio-Dome has some good points indeed

[7/10 · 7 October 2005]

The single best reason for watching Bio-Dome is the sexy as hell Joey Lauren Adams (From Mallrats, Chasing Amy, SFW) dressed in possibly the sexiest white-trash-girl-next-door outfits ever committed to screen. Other reasons include; having something to annoy Kylie Minogue with if ever you meet her... she cringes at mention of this tacky masterpiece. Jack Black turns up in the background for ten seconds, yet still mentions the film at every opportunity. I can't believe that the director of "The Usual Suspects" saw Stephen Baldwin in this and gave him the job... he must have watched him elsewhere. Pauly Shore has a unsettlingly deadpan face and a unique look at humour(and, it must be said, very supple joints). For lovers of films that go nowhere, do not inform but let you realise that anything can make it on to the silver screen.

S.F.W. (1994)

S.F.W. ....well I liked it!

[10/10 · 6 October 2005]

I watched this film not knowing what to expect; what I got was one of the coolest, most original films I've seen. It is ostensibly a hostage-drama set in a Fun-Stop convenience store, but rapidly reveals itself as more; a biting attack on the media circus and the hype machine, a revealing portrayal of suburban life in America, and a comment on the nature of heroes. The leads are played effortlessly by Stephen Dorff (who seems to not be acting at all)and Reece Witherspoon, with excellent support from B-movie stalwarts Joey Lauren Adams and Jack Noseworthy. All the characters are unlike those you see in most films... they are the sort of people you've met, but never expected to see on screen. Characters the hero Spab (Dorff) meets along the way are delightfully unattractive and random, from the hippie Earl and his militant partner to the receptionist in a neck brace at a posh hotel. Richard Portnow's FBI agent has some wonderfully quotable lines, and Mr and Mrs Spab soon reveal themselves to be far from the perfect parents. The arrangement of the story (flashbacks are employed heavily) lets you build up a rounded picture of the events that made Spab a hero, not revealing the true account of what happened in the store until near the end. Up to this point the events are clouded by the media and gossip surrounding the "Fun-Stop Hostage Crisis" and although we are led to believe Spab did something spectacular, the later flashbacks reveal why he is unwilling to assume the mantle of hero and why he seems to be in a bad mood most of the time!. A great film that depicts a classic anti-hero with more than adequate back-up from the script and cast. Watch it soon!.