Remakes that stink to high heaven
by blackaugust7934 | created - 25 Nov 2012 | updated - 24 Jan 2015 | PublicCounting down the worst remakes in Hollywood History
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1. Rollerball (2002)
PG-13 | 98 min | Action, Sci-Fi, Sport
The big thing in 2005 is a violent sport which can have some pretty serious consequences... like dying.
Director: John McTiernan | Stars: Chris Klein, Jean Reno, LL Cool J, Rebecca Romijn
Votes: 29,673 | Gross: $18.99M
John Mctiernan should have been locked up for this awful travesty
2. Psycho (1998)
R | 105 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
A young female embezzler arrives at the Bates Motel, which has terrible secrets of its own.
Director: Gus Van Sant | Stars: Vince Vaughn, Anne Heche, Julianne Moore, Viggo Mortensen
Votes: 50,708 | Gross: $21.46M
Let's remake Alfred Hitchcock's classic shot for shot in color
3. The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)
PG-13 | 96 min | Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller
After being rescued and brought to an island, a man discovers that its inhabitants are experimental animals being turned into strange-looking humans, all of it the work of a visionary doctor.
Directors: John Frankenheimer, Richard Stanley | Stars: David Thewlis, Marlon Brando, Val Kilmer, Fairuza Balk
Votes: 35,489 | Gross: $27.66M
Dreadful acting, cheap looking costume designs and a plodding pace. The 1977 version with Michael York is head and shoulders above this rancid remake.
4. Planet of the Apes (2001)
PG-13 | 120 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
In 2029, an Air Force astronaut crash-lands on a mysterious planet where evolved, talking apes dominate a race of primitive humans.
Director: Tim Burton | Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Helena Bonham Carter, Tim Roth, Michael Clarke Duncan
Votes: 229,144 | Gross: $180.01M
I love Tim Burton with a passion but he is no shotgun-for-hire director and this is so apparent here.
5. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
PG | 115 min | Adventure, Comedy, Family
Charlie, a young boy from an impoverished family, and four other kids win a tour of an amazing chocolate factory run by an imaginative chocolatier, Willy Wonka, and his staff of Oompa-Loompas.
Director: Tim Burton | Stars: Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, David Kelly, Helena Bonham Carter
Votes: 529,326 | Gross: $206.46M
Tim Burton, stop with the remakes already!!! This was just as bad as Planet Of The Apes.
6. Halloween (2007)
R | 109 min | Horror
After being committed for 15 years, Michael Myers, now a grown man and still very dangerous, escapes from the mental institution and immediately returns to Haddonfield to find his baby sister, Laurie.
Director: Rob Zombie | Stars: Scout Taylor-Compton, Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, Brad Dourif
Votes: 130,592 | Gross: $58.27M
I Like Rob Zombie but Halloween doesn't need a poor white trash makeover.
7. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
R | 98 min | Horror
After picking up a traumatized young hitchhiker, five friends find themselves stalked and hunted by a deformed chainsaw-wielding loon and his family of equally psychopathic killers.
Director: Marcus Nispel | Stars: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Andrew Bryniarski, Erica Leerhsen
Votes: 152,404 | Gross: $80.57M
So all Leatherface needed was some skin cream? Interesting.
8. Get Carter (2000)
R | 102 min | Action, Crime, Drama
A Las Vegas mob enforcer travels back to his hometown to investigate his brother's mysterious death.
Director: Stephen Kay | Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Rachael Leigh Cook, Miranda Richardson, Rhona Mitra
Votes: 36,598 | Gross: $14.97M
Stallone as Jack Carter? Yeah, I'll buy that.
9. School for Scoundrels (2006)
PG-13 | 100 min | Comedy
A young guy short on luck enrolls in a class to build confidence to help win over the girl of his dreams, which becomes complicated when it turns out his teacher has the same agenda.
Director: Todd Phillips | Stars: Billy Bob Thornton, Jon Heder, Jacinda Barrett, Michael Clarke Duncan
Votes: 30,619 | Gross: $17.80M
Doesn't know whether it wants to be dark or satirical. At least the original knew what it wanted to be,
10. The Out-of-Towners (1999)
PG-13 | 90 min | Comedy
The remake of the 1970 Neil Simon comedy follows the adventures of married couple Henry and Nancy Clark as they are vexed by misfortune while in New York City for a job interview.
Director: Sam Weisman | Stars: Steve Martin, Goldie Hawn, John Cleese, Mark McKinney
Votes: 14,993 | Gross: $28.54M
When John Cleese playing a drag queen is the funniest part of a movie you're in trouble
11. Shaft (2000)
R | 99 min | Action, Crime, Thriller
New York City police detective John Shaft (nephew of the original 1970s detective) goes on a personal mission to make sure the son of a real estate tycoon is brought to justice after a racially-motivated murder.
Director: John Singleton | Stars: Samuel L. Jackson, Vanessa Williams, Christian Bale, Jeffrey Wright
Votes: 80,803 | Gross: $70.33M
This is a bad mother shut your mouth. I was only talking about this bad remake of Shaft.
12. The Hitcher (2007)
R | 84 min | Crime, Thriller
A couple from college get caught in a dangerous game of cat and mouse with a psychopathic hitchhiker and the police after witnessing a murder and being framed.
Director: Dave Meyers | Stars: Sean Bean, Sophia Bush, Zachary Knighton, Neal McDonough
Votes: 45,069 | Gross: $16.47M
Stick with the Rutger Hauer version.
13. The Omen (2006)
R | 110 min | Drama, Fantasy, Horror
An American official realizes that his young son may literally be the Devil incarnate.
Director: John Moore | Stars: Liev Schreiber, Julia Stiles, Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick, David Thewlis
Votes: 62,758 | Gross: $54.61M
Glossy and unnecessary
14. That Darn Cat (1997)
PG | 89 min | Action, Comedy, Crime
A maid is kidnapped and scratches a message onto D.C. the cat's collar and when his owner Patti discovers this, she plays amateur detective with the help of D.C. to try to find the culprits.
Director: Bob Spiers | Stars: Christina Ricci, Doug E. Doug, Dean Jones, George Dzundza
Votes: 4,863 | Gross: $18.30M
Doug E Doug is the only thing amusing about this painfully bland remake
15. Leave It to Beaver (1997)
PG | 84 min | Comedy, Family
Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver, age 8, has misadventures and learns life lessons in this entertaining, hilarious tale of a small-town Ohio family and the daily trials of life.
Director: Andy Cadiff | Stars: Christopher McDonald, Janine Turner, Cameron Finley, Erik von Detten
Votes: 4,553 | Gross: $10.71M
No, Wally I dont like this one at all!
16. Death at a Funeral (2010)
R | 92 min | Comedy, Drama
A funeral ceremony turns into a debacle of exposed family secrets and misplaced bodies.
Director: Neil LaBute | Stars: Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Keith David, Loretta Devine
Votes: 53,656 | Gross: $42.74M
Dreadfully boring and extremely unfunny. Am I the only one that sees how pointless it is to remake a movie that came out in 2007???
17. The Flintstones (1994)
PG | 91 min | Comedy, Family, Fantasy
In a parallel modern-day Stone Age world, a working-class family, the Flintstones, are set up for an executive job. But they learn that money can't buy happiness.
Director: Brian Levant | Stars: John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Rosie O'Donnell, Halle Berry
Votes: 86,540 | Gross: $130.51M
What a pile of dinosaur dung!
18. Sleuth (2007)
R | 88 min | Crime, Drama, Mystery
On his sprawling country estate, an aging writer matches wits with the struggling actor who has stolen his wife's heart.
Director: Kenneth Branagh | Stars: Michael Caine, Jude Law, Harold Pinter, Kenneth Branagh
Votes: 33,032 | Gross: $0.34M
A big waste of top notch talent and time!!!
19. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
R | 95 min | Crime, Drama, Horror
The spectre of a disfigured man haunts the children of the parents who murdered him, stalking and killing them in their dreams.
Director: Samuel Bayer | Stars: Jackie Earle Haley, Rooney Mara, Kyle Gallner, Katie Cassidy
Votes: 107,487 | Gross: $63.08M
Instantly forgettable remake from and music director. And Rorschach will never be Freddy Krueger!
20. Bewitched (2005)
PG-13 | 102 min | Comedy, Fantasy, Romance
Thinking he can overshadow an unknown actress in the part, an egocentric actor unknowingly gets a witch cast in an upcoming television remake of the classic sitcom Bewitched (1964).
Director: Nora Ephron | Stars: Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell, Shirley MacLaine, Michael Caine
Votes: 75,501 | Gross: $62.25M
Classic example of a Follywood movie thinking that its smarter than it really is
21. The Wicker Man (2006)
PG-13 | 102 min | Horror, Mystery, Thriller
A sheriff investigating the disappearance of a young girl from a small island discovers there's a larger mystery to solve among the island's secretive, neo-pagan community.
Director: Neil LaBute | Stars: Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Leelee Sobieski, Kate Beahan
Votes: 71,421 | Gross: $23.64M
Not the beeeeesss! Aaaaahhhhhhh!!!!
22. The Fog (2005)
PG-13 | 100 min | Horror, Mystery
A thick mist full of vengeful spirits haunts a prosperous island town off the coast of Oregon, as its inhabitants try to learn their town's dark secret in order to stop it.
Director: Rupert Wainwright | Stars: Tom Welling, Maggie Grace, Selma Blair, DeRay Davis
Votes: 39,173 | Gross: $29.51M
The Fog for the MTV crowd
23. Black Christmas (2006)
R | 95 min | Horror
On Christmas Eve, an escaped maniac returns to his childhood home, which is now a sorority house, and begins to murder the sorority sisters one by one.
Director: Glen Morgan | Stars: Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Lacey Chabert, Katie Cassidy
Votes: 30,639 | Gross: $16.24M
Terrible and the Lenz family look like Garbage Pail Kids rejects
24. April Fool's Day (2008 Video)
Unrated | 91 min | Horror
A year after an April Fool's Day prank which resulted in the death of one of their set, a group of friends find themselves targeted by someone who is out for revenge.
Directors: Mitchell Altieri, Phil Flores | Stars: Taylor Cole, Josh Henderson, Scout Taylor-Compton, Joe Egender
Votes: 4,221
Horrible acting, dull, went straight to DVD for a reason!
25. Prom Night (I) (2008)
PG-13 | 88 min | Horror
Donna's senior prom is supposed to be the best night of her life, though a sadistic killer from her past has different plans for her and her friends.
Director: Nelson McCormick | Stars: Brittany Snow, Scott Porter, Jessica Stroup, Dana Davis
Votes: 38,158 | Gross: $43.87M
At least the original had mystery to who the killer was. This one you know who the killer is right off the bat and he is about as scary as Mickey Mouse!
26. The Stepfather (2009)
PG-13 | 101 min | Mystery, Thriller
Michael Harding (Penn Badgely) returns home from military school to find his mother Susan (Sela Ward) happily in love and living with her new boyfriend David (Dylan Walsh). As the two men get to know each other, he becomes more and more suspicious of the man who is always there to help.
Director: Nelson McCormick | Stars: Penn Badgley, Dylan Walsh, Sela Ward, Amber Heard
Votes: 38,689 | Gross: $29.06M
Its as if the Disney Channel tried their hand at horror...and failed!
27. Vanishing Point (1997 TV Movie)
PG-13 | 91 min | Action, Adventure, Drama
An ex race car driver hurries 1200 miles home in a 1970 Challenger when his wife has labor problems. Cops in several states try to stop him - initially for speeding.
Director: Charles Robert Carner | Stars: Viggo Mortensen, Christine Elise, Steve Railsback, Rodney A. Grant
Votes: 3,060
Lacks everything that made the 1970 original special and why does Viggo Mortensen looked sloshed throughout this movie?
28. One Missed Call (2008)
PG-13 | 87 min | Horror, Mystery
Several people start receiving voice-mails from their future selves - messages which include the date, time, and some of the details of their deaths.
Director: Eric Valette | Stars: Edward Burns, Shannyn Sossamon, Ana Claudia Talancón, Ray Wise
Votes: 34,013 | Gross: $26.88M
Easily the worst remake of an Asian horror film ever produced.
29. Carrie (2013)
R | 100 min | Drama, Horror, Thriller
A shy girl, outcast by her peers and sheltered by her religious mother, unleashes telekinetic terror on her small town after being pushed too far at her senior prom.
Director: Kimberly Peirce | Stars: Chloë Grace Moretz, Julianne Moore, Gabriella Wilde, Portia Doubleday
Votes: 148,191 | Gross: $35.27M
The most pointless remake this side of Gus Van Sant's Psycho.
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