Why They Do That?

I thought I'd come out of the theater feeling like I just saw Jurassic Park for the first time. Instead I felt like I had just seen Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze for the 5th time while wearing a headset playing the audio from Ferngully: The Last Rain Forest. Once the 3d/Cgi in this becomes common, the ratings for this movie are going to tank. Like a basketball player whose game depends on his athletic abilities more than fundamentals and skills, this movie will not do well with age.

So how can we *beep* up the classic Indiana Jones trilogy? Oooo! I know! How bout we pull Harrison Ford out of retirement to make a unneeded 4th installment and make it about some alien, outer space, Sci-fi, Buuulll sh*t!

Alright you did a good job *beep* up that previously beloved Indiana Jones series but you failed and actually made Live Free or Die Hard a good movie! Here in modern Hollywood we're about waisting time and money and that movie was actually worth both! I'm giving you another chance, you better *beep* it up and *beep* it up good this time!

Mission Accomplished.

This is what you get when Hollywood, blinded by greed, decides to make a movie about a lifestyle that they know nothing about and don't attempt to do any research on. They just pay some action movie writers to write some BS action script. How in the *beep* did Singleton think that a story about import racers saving the day against a cartel drug dealer would even remotely be a good movie. In the words of Samuel L Jackson from the movie Jackie brown " What happened to you John Singleton? You used to be beautiful." The best part about this movie was Eva Mendes, every thing else sucked, the story, the cars(the cars actually weren't that bad, it's what they did to them that sucked), the actors (what actors?), the wardrobe, and the dumb ass cops. This movie single handedly *beep* up every major japanese car brands image and we're still feeling the effects. Honda started doing whatever it could to separate it's cars from any type of sporty image so they wouldn't be picked for another F&F movie (it's working). Toyota made it's bland cars even blander and only releases sporty cars under other brand names (scion). Mitsubishi hasn't been relevant since, they're limping along barely making enough profit to keep the doors open. 2 Fast 2 Furious 2003 aka import armageddon. By 2004 the import scene as it was pre '03' was gone. All the real import drag racers switched to drifting and were using older cars since Japan wasn't making anymore performance cars and keeping the ones they did make to themselves far away from Hollywood and it's dumb ass writers and directors.

I really wanted to like this movie. Justin Lin had earned my respect for making Tokyo Drift which had successfully breathed life back into a franchise that Hollywood had thoroughly soiled in the previous iteration. Something had changed in this movie though. Lin had successfully brought back the some original cast from the first TF&TF but not the chemistry. The movie was also too dark, depressingly so. Even though there where sad parts in the first and third film (I don't count that John Singleton Crap) the overall vibe of those movies where positive, but not so much with this one. This movie made you feel all Kurt Cobain after you watched it. It wasn't exactly a horrible movie but it was a lot worst than Lin's first foray and it shouldn't have been made because it ruined everyones memories of the first movie. And why is Hollywood so persistent about throwing drugs in every script? I swear as far as hollywood is concerned if there is action and excitement then there has to be some coke somewhere.

More coke filled story, more product placement, more poorly written, more bad acting, more terrible then the last one. They should have named this fast five the relapse because this movie is where the franchise relapses into illrelevantcy.

You guys did a jam up job destroying that diehard franchise. We've finally killed that pesky John McClane character and made Bruce Willis look like a total buffoon! Hahahahaha. Now I need you *beep* up Spider-man! When ever people hear the name spiderman, I want them to think of crap. A big stinking pile of CRAPP!! HA! HAHAHAHAAA!

The Hollywood Film *beep* strike again. This time they get their filty paws on the Spiderman franchise and *beep* the sh*t out it. Even though the first trilogy wasn't perfect, and had a worst ending than even brain damaged chimpanzees in bump class could have thought of, it was a decent overall bunch of movies. It had good acting and great story telling and the biggest flaw was the rushed ending that resulted in a drawn-out third movie that still left you asking,"Was that it?". They should have shortened the third movie and made a fourth to end the franchise but this is hollywood we're talking about. Now we have a new fresh Spider-Man who apparently has no reason to wear a mask and pretty much doesn't bother. He shows his face to the first person he saves, to the chick he likes but isn't really going out with, to a bunch of cops, to the main villain, he might as well just not wear the damn thing. This new spiderman is also a prick and completely unloveable, when bad things happened to him in the movie I laughed because he deserved it! Why did they think that Spider-Man needed to be an *beep* why did they think that he needed to show his identity to everyone he could, and why did they think that we needed a new Spider-Man so soon after the still fresh in peoples minds Spiderman trilogy? Only the Film *beep* know.