MafiaSquirrel Review of Mystic River

Mystic River (2003)

Spoilers for an over-hyped mediocre movie ahead

[4/10 · 26 October 2003]

Your bitter reviewer walked into the theater with high expectations, I had to beg my fiancee to see this, promising her the masterpiece that the hype said it was. It was, to put it gently, not as good as an average episode of "Law and Order". The characters that weren't overdone or hopeless cliches (e.g. Celeste) were given no consistent motivations or satisfactory explanations for their actions (Jimmy, Sean). The movie waffles on the strength and extent of the boys friendship; Are they still friends? If so, do Dave and Sean know that Jimmy is a small time mafioso? Is all of Boston related to each other, at least six of the major and minor characters are cousins, including Jimmy and Dave (by marriage I assume) yet supposedly they barely know each other anymore. Celeste was a horrible character, first the whole film she looked like she'd scream and cry if her kid or anyone else sneezed. Then she sells out her husband to Jimmy, someone who will most likely at least beat him within an inch of his life if not kill him and then sells JIMMY out to Sean after the situation she brought about has climaxed. This is not a woman you want to go hunting with. And the murderers, where do I begin? Sean said they HAD NO MOTIVE. This is bad writing. They just wanted to play tough guys and the random passerby, the victim, just HAPPENS to be his brother's girlfriend and not only that, the daughter of the hood that his father ratted out when he was most likely two and sent up for a stretch. The kid had no way of knowing, and I give the movie credit for not suggesting it, that Jimmy murdered his father. To top it all off, if this was a random act and an accident that she died, why did they abuse the body? Like I said, bad writing. Kevin Bacon's last five minutes in the movie is on repeat somewhere in actors and filmmakers Hell. He goes from hearing about his friend's death, someone he obviously feels indebted to, to laughing and smiling on the phone to his creepy, stalking wife. He follows this gem with the "finger gun" during the parade with a bizarre smirk on his face. Methinks making movies like "Wild Things" has damaged the acting center of his brain. This movie is nothing what critics or the hype said it would be, there are better films by all these actors and this director, both in front of and behind the camera. Go rent those. Movies like this make orphans cry.