Reviews

221 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
Pain & Gain (2013)
10/10
The Accidental Masterpiece
9 May 2013
Warning: Spoilers
It's been a long time since I've written a review for a film, but Michael Bay's Pain & Gain is worthy of review and discussion. This is a mildly flawed picture directed by a bombastic director who seems to have no limits in how far he is willing to go. It's also, in my honest opinion, one of the most intriguing and thought-provoking films I've seen in sometime. On a first viewing, I can say that this might be the biggest accidental masterpiece of cinema I've ever seen. It's not a great film, in the traditional sense, but it entertains and provokes on levels that remind me of the greats. It's a very odd specimen, in that the material really calls for a more subtle and finer touch, but instead it's a Michael Bay film. The lasting effect is an evil monster of a movie with no morality, but begging for forgiveness. This is a must see film.

On the surface and from the trailers, it seems no different than your average dark comedy/crime film. Many reviewers have compared it to a poor man's Fargo, which in many ways it is. One reviewer called it, "Fargo meets The Three Stooges." This is pretty accurate. Fargo is the better film. Hell, the Stooges are probably superior because at least they have likability going for them. However, Pain & Gain is one of the most unique American films I have seen in sometime.

To be frank, this film is as sociopathic as the three characters it portrays. I don't think I have ever seen a movie (maybe Bad Boys 2) that so hilariously portrays murder and mayhem in such a confusing fashion. Pain & Gain is flat out hysterical with its hijinks and goof-ballness for about the first 45 minutes. I could barely contain myself in the beginning; it earns it laughs, in a genuine way. It represents BLACK COMEDY at its finest. Then the film gets serious, REALLY serious, and perhaps unbeknownst to Michael Bay. I'm not really sure. Pain & Gain drastically changes tone in one of the most bizarre ways I've ever seen. It's bizarre in the fact that the film is no longer funny, but we're still supposed to laugh. And we do. At least I did. Bay purposely or not purposely ignores what is expected of this genre and continues to present the film as a good-time; until it isn't.

For all intents and purposes, a film maker like Michael Bay probably shouldn't tackle such a heavy subject matter and present it in such a funny way, when in reality, it's not funny at all. The presentation of this film is bizarre. Murder can be funny, as it has been in many films, but there is a line you don't cross. Pain & Gain crosses that line. When you verge from the comedic to the horrific, it should be a graceful transition for the audience. Not the case here. When Pain & Gain ceases to be enjoyable and likable, it resists, for better or worse. Michael Bay doesn't know if he should portray this story as real gruesome crime drama or keep playing it for laughs; so he does both. What we're left with, is a film with some of the most unlikable characters in recent memory that demand to be liked. The leads are three antagonists who so badly want to be protagonists, it's hard not to fight it. The good guys (Tony Shalhoub and Ed Harris) if you can call them that, are so unlikable and uninteresting, the viewer can only relate with the three bad amigos. We like them. They are great guys, for being murderers. The most likable character is portrayed by The Rock (who should earn a Best Supporting Actor Nomination). He's not really down for murder, unless he's told to do so. Even then he frowns with guilt, against Wahlberg's and Mackie's reassurances. He's an evangelical Christian trying to spread the word of Jesus when he's not doing cocaine off of a hot Russian woman's stomach. My kind of fella.

I really like Pain & Gain. This will be an entertaining film for some, probably disgusting for most, but this is an important film. At its core, this is a film about seizing the American dream (in an anarchist style) and asking its audience to accept it or get lost. The film is so in your face and cruel, it demands a reaction. Michael Bay has always brought out strong feelings with cinephiles. People argue about how good and/or bad he is. He may be both, but he is the type of film maker who always brings a reaction to his viewer. The sign of a true artist. Here is a film that has so much to say regarding murder, America, greed, image, and just making it in this life; yet it's disguised as just a regular "movie". This is the type of movie you could sit down with your best buddies while you're drinking beers, farting, laughing, and giggling. Pain & Gain deserves so much more. This is the American Dream on steroids.

Pain & Gain is my type of "movie". I have and will see better films this year, but this is type of the film I love. It shows how fun it can be when a film maker decides to just go balls-to-the-wall and not give a damn. It shows how actors like Mark Wahlberg and The Rock can be amazing. It shows how the most exciting films are those that bring a strong reaction, be it good or bad. It's the reason I love the movies.
6 out of 13 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Tiptoes (2002)
10/10
A misunderstood American masterpiece.
14 August 2004
It is very rare that I write comments for films anymore, but after witnessing the wonderful Tiptoes, and reading all the negative feedback, I felt inclined.

The movie is never played for laughs, as I originally thought it would be. Instead Tiptoes has got to be the most honest look at the life of dwarfs, I have ever seen. The film examines the serious subject matter of, if you knew your child was going to be a dwarf would you still want to have it? Would you still love it? Gary Oldman (the finest working actor in films today) gives an amazing performance as the title character. His work here should have earned him an Oscar. Yes Gary plays a dwarf, but its an honest performance -- not just a gimmick. Matthew McCognaughey and Kate Beckinsale quite frankly have never been better. Peter Dinklage has got to be given props for turning a nothing role into something special.

I loved this movie. Ignore the bad buzz and enjoy this fine misunderstood American Masterpiece. 10/10
32 out of 58 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Gigli (2003)
8/10
Nice Surprise
2 August 2003
Blood has been in the water for more than a month, ever since some a-hole thought up the idea of calling this picture the worst film ever made. It's not. It's not even the worst film of the month, that honor would have to go to Tomb Raider 2 or even LXG. This is not a critics picture. This film is far to un-pc for any major critic to get away with giving it a passing grade. And yes, Lopez can't act. However, I went into the film thinking I was going to see some disaster, and instead, I got a nice surprise. Ben Affleck gives a very good performance in this film. Some of his lines had me laughing out loud, "What the f- is this, mental illness week?" The "turkey time" line is so bizarre and out of place, it made me laugh out loud. The ending is a little slow paced, but the film has a good enough sense of humor and it's heart is in the right place. I smiled a lot in Gigli. Christopher Walken and Al Pacino are a hoot. 8/10
5 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
1/10
Movies don't get worse then this.
26 July 2003
It's doubtful if there will be a worse film this year then Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life. I was a fan of the original film, but I'll be the first to admit that there was room for improvement. Tomb Raider 2 promised to improve on the original, but surprisingly, it's almost unwatchable. The action scenes are perhaps the most dull you'll see this year, and the always entertaining Jolie sleepwalks through the picture. From the unremarkable opening, and throughout the picture, the film has the attitude that it just doesn't care. The film has no flare, which is surprising because director Jan De Bont is usually known for his over-the-top style. What a waste of a picture, and probably the final nail in the coffin for this franchise.
8 out of 13 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Bad Boys II (2003)
10/10
All Hail the King of the Summer Movies!!!
19 July 2003
Violent, loud, relentless, and without question the coolest film of the summer. Michael Bay's action epic is the action movie to top all action movies. It's as if Bay and producer Bruckheimer are saying, "we dare you to top this."

For Will Smith, the film is a breath of fresh air. What Smith is doing with this picture, is showing that he can do something more than entertain the PG-13 crowd with his alien fighter shinanigians. It's nice to see Will Smith play a pi**ed off angry cop, as opposed to his usual Mr. Nice Guy shtick. Martin Lawerence shows that he does have talent, if he works with the right people. My advice to Lawerence is don't make any movies except BAD BOY movies.

Much has been said about the film's violence, and frankly I'm surprised by it. Yes the film is violent. There are a lot of people getting shot and killed. What do you expect? It's a cop movie. Most critics have mentioned the scene involving dead bodies, used for comedic value. This is the same type of humor you see in movies like Final Destination 2, where the laughs come from the deaths. I don't find it offensive, because the scene with the bodies is an important slice to the narrative, and hey, it is FUNNY.

As an action picture, no other film this summer comes close to Bad Boys 2. The Matrix Reloaded tops Bad Boys 2 as an overall movie, but if you are just to measure the action scenes, Bad Boys 2 wins. Many have been comparing the chase scenes of this film and Reloaded. Let me say this, the freeway chase scene in Reloaded beats the chase scene in this film. The difference, the freeway scene in Reloaded was the main action scene, while the chase scene in Bad Boys 2 is one of seven amazing action scenes. No other Hollywood movie can compare to the amount of action that is in this film. So because, as of right now, Bad Boys 2 is the definitive action picture, you owe it to yourself to see it.
18 out of 35 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
Amazing. Great. Brilliant. Best film in years? Probably. 10/10
15 May 2003
What an excellent movie. Never before has a film combined action with drama so well. I was blown away by this film. Obviously, the film is the greatest technical piece to date, but it is also eloquently written. Great epic monologues accompany the beautiful effects.

A masterpiece that must be seen multiple times.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
4/10
1/10 Truly Awful
13 April 2003
Rob Zombie's House of 1000 Corpses is morbid, disgusting, and repulsively mean. That's great and all, but it's also lacking in everything that makes a horror film good -- scares and most of all, any sort of fun factor. This is not an entertaining film; unless your idea of entertainment is on par with a snuff film. The film marvels in its graphic cruelness toward its characters, there is not one character to root for or any sort of protagonist. The film is loaded with sickos, who are suppose to be funny, while at the same time they are cruel and psychotic. I found this film to be very disturbing, so in a way it succeeds in what Rob Zombie intended. However, it lacks everything else that makes a film even passable. Complete crap.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
The best picture of 2002 - as of January 1st 2003.
1 January 2003
Now I haven't seen all the movies of 2002 yet; I still need to see The Hours, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, and all the other smaller films that will be working their way in my direction in the next few weeks. Right now however, Gangs of New York is the film to beat for best picture of the year. Even Peter Jackson's brilliant second chapter in his Lord of the Rings trilogy, couldn't captivate me the same way as Martin Scorsese's newest masterpiece.

The film isn't perfect in parts; the final act seems a little scattered, but the overall film is so grand and mesmorizing, it doesn't matter if the film is slightly flawed. Using hardly any CGI effects, Gangs of New York will probably be the last epic of this scale made the old fashioned way. You can see in every single frame the amount of time that was spent in making this picture. The battle scenes are extrodinary, and all the leads give their best performances to date. Especially Daniel Day-Lewis, who is pretty much guranteed to win the Best Actor Oscar.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
8/10
A Pleasing Sequel 8/10
6 July 2002
This film never assaults and never pretends to be anything more then it is: A cash cow for families who want to kill 88 minutes; families who want to laugh and be transported to a completely bizarre, and at times morbid world. Sure the film is reminiscent of the first, but it also feels sharper. There are obvious reasons why I might favor the sequel. The worm guys are in it more. A super sexy villainess. Men in Black 2 has a few better gags, (the locker scene in this film is much funnier then the baby delivery in the first). And of course, who can deny the comedic genius that is Rip Torn? Here he is given much better lines.

I was surprised how much I enjoyed this film.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Mr. Deeds (2002)
4/10
Well at least Winona Ryder is hot. 4/10
28 June 2002
Adam Sandler is an odd ball. Sometimes his 'I'm lazy and stupid and damn proud of it,' attitude works; but with Mr. Deeds it's a bust and bore. The film starts out terrible, almost containing no laughs the entire first 35 minutes. Once we get to know some of the supporting characters, such as a foot-fetish butler played by the great John Turturro, the film shows some glimpses of hope; but those occasions are few and far between. For the most part, excluding a few laughs, this film is anything but classic Sandler comedy. For the record, I liked Little Nicky. This film shows the least effort of any recent Sandler comedy, if that is possible. Wait for cable.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Lilo & Stitch (2002)
9/10
Excellent picture...with Elvis tunes! 9/10
21 June 2002
Lilo and Stich is the most pleasing family film I have seen in sometime. The film is bound to be classic, it has a type of unique story and lovable characters that place it with such masterpieces as Robin Hood and Dumbo. This is a film old Walt would have loved. Lilo and Stich isn't just a rehash of E.T. as many naive critics have said; the film takes a much different approach to a slightly similar story line. This is the family film of the year, no doubt, and adults will love this film as much as children. Please parents, take your children to this and not that horrendous Scooby-Doo.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
Welcome to hell....I mean the future. 10/10
21 June 2002
Words can not explain how shocked I am at the sheer brilliance and subtlety of Steven Spielberg's newest masterpiece, Minority Report. If one was to judge the trailers for the film, they would assume that it was just your average run-of-the-mill summer blockbuster that is overrun with dazzling special f/x. This is not the case with Minority Report; a dark film noir that is bound to become a classic. If you go expecting action scenes that rival the Mission Impossible films, you're going to be gravely disappointed. Minority Report is something new and fresh that will reward patient and smart audience members, and frustrate those who don't know the difference between ‘film' and ‘movie.' With Minority Report, I'm with the majority who are giving it nothing but praise. The must see film of the summer.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
9/10
A trip unlike any other. 9/10
20 June 2002
The Salton Sea is a darkly funny drug/revenge tale that's as wonderful as it is original. I really enjoyed the hell out of this film. This isn't Memento, but in a way it is similar. Instead of having a film that deals with memory loss, this film deals with overcoming drugs, and trying to find a killer. What's odd is how funny the film is. Don't get me wrong, you'll be shocked, you'll be moved, but you're also going to laugh your butt off. Val Kilmer is GREAT!
2 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Scooby-Doo (2002)
1/10
Front-runner for the worst film of the year. 1/10
18 June 2002
I dislike the Scooby-Doo movie immensely. The film is absent of charm; humor; or anything that would classify it as being worthwhile entertainment. Children will not enjoy this film, it's far too ugly and odd. For parents, the film is the equivalent to Chinese water-torture. Out of the entire running time of the movie, there may be 1 minute in the film that contains anything that is genuinely clever or funny. This film is bad on so many levels, I feel nauseated talking about it.
2 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Windtalkers (2002)
6/10
Seen all this before. 6/10
18 June 2002
And here we are again, with yet another war film, in a year that seems to be plagued with them. Windtalkers isn't a bad film, in fact, had it been released a few years ago, I'm sure it would have been greeted with open arms by critics and audiences alike. However, Windtalkers has the misfortune of having to follow far superior and similar films: Black Hawk Down and We Were Soldiers. We've seen all this before, and with Windtalkers there is no longer the horror of war, but instead it is growing quite boring.

I liked many parts of this film. The action is fantastic; Cage is great, as is the whole cast. The problem is, we've seen all this before, and it is growing tiring. Wait for this one on video, or a couple of years, when war films are no longer trendy, and you might find something special in this film.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Dog Soldiers (2002)
7/10
Cheesy....but fun 7/10
16 June 2002
This cheaply made Werewolf film hardly reinvents the genre, but it's fun and bloody and contains some strong outbursts of action, so it's worth checking out. Not as clever as Ginger Snaps, the most underrated Werewolf film to date. Be warned, Dog Soldiers is GRAPHICALLY GORY.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
Amazing action picture 10/10
15 June 2002
The Bourne Identity will probably be the best action film of the year. There is no CGI F/X; no science fiction elements; but enough butt kicking action to spare. For years I have been saying it is impossible to make a serious PG-13 action movie, but The Bourne Identity has proven me wrong. The Bourne Identity has the privilege of having a surprisingly excellent Matt Damon and a classy director: Doug Liman. See The Bourne Identity, because the action genre is `Re-Bourne' with the film.
1 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
True Lies (1994)
10/10
James Cameron and Arnold doing what they do best. 10/10
14 June 2002
True Lies is one of the most underrated action films of all time. People always seem to forget this dandy action film when it comes to naming the all time greats. This, in my honest opinion, is the best Arnold/Cameron film yet. Mind blowing action scenes; hysterical sense of humor (the charming Tom Arnold); and of course, sexy as can be (Jamie Lee). This movie has it all. Is it over-the-top? Sure is, but who could ask for more from an action film?
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
The Point Men (2001)
8/10
Christopher Lambert kicking terrorist butt! 8/10
11 June 2002
Usually I despise these direct to video action films, but something about The Point Men struck me, and I walked away with a smile on my face. This film is much better then some recent major studio movies that dealt with terrorism; I am of course talking about the disappointing Collateral Damage and the god-awful Bad Company. The film doesn't really go for too much style, instead the action scenes are raw and bloody. I've always enjoyed Christopher Lambert, he's not a great actor but he gives it his all; like he does here. Nothing to seek out, but if you are looking for a good way to kill an evening, Point Men is a lot better then most are giving it credit for.
4 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Bad Company (2002)
3/10
Bad Business By Bruckheimer 3/10
9 June 2002
Lets set the record straight: I liked the first 45 minutes of this movie. I enjoyed the score to the film. I even thought there was some funny lines throughout the movie. Nothing however, could save this movie from being TERRIBLE. Bad Company doesn't even try to be good, especially in the last half of the movie. It doesn't wow us with special f/x or amazing action scenes; it simply assaults the audience with a whole array of noise and disgust. Chris Rock gives some unbelievably bad lines in this movie, and poor Anthony Hopkins is half asleep the entire film. I expected much higher quality from a Jerry Bruckheimer film.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Brother (I) (2000)
5/10
It's cool, but not my cup of tea. 5/10
9 June 2002
I love a tough as nails gangster film as much as the next guy, but Brother is anything but your typical gangster flick. Usually, I would consider that a good thing; Brother just doesn't work though. Takeshi Kitano is a boring actor who has the charisma of pavement. There are too many long takes that hurt the narrative of the film. For example, there are a few scenes where the camera will stop and just observe; like when the audience is made to watch some gangsters play basketball for five minutes. Huge action scenes are not even shown -- although the film is graphically violent.

This film could have been great, but it went too far out of its way to be stylistic, and in the end it just doesn't get the job done.
0 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Bad Company (2002)
3/10
Bad Business By Bruckheimer 3/10
8 June 2002
Lets set the record straight: I liked the first 45 minutes of this movie. I enjoyed the score to the film. I even thought there was some funny lines throughout the movie. Nothing however, could save this movie from being TERRIBLE. Bad Company doesn't even try to be good, especially in the last half of the movie. It doesn't wow us with special f/x or amazing action scenes; it simply assaults the audience with a whole array of noise and disgust. Chris Rock gives some unbelievably bad lines in this movie, and poor Anthony Hopkins is half asleep the entire film. I expected much higher quality from a Jerry Bruckheimer film.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
3/10
French Se7en Wannabe 3/10
7 June 2002
Jean Reno stars in this bizarre, overly complicated, and yes, even silly thriller that echoes the dark tones seen in Se7en. The film starts off promising enough, but within 45 minutes of the film, it's almost impossible to follow. The film has style, thanks to the talented director Mathieu Kassovitz, but it goes nowhere fast. By the time the silly conclusion happens, one realizes that this trip is not even worth taking.
4 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
9/10
Can't compare with the original, but then again, what can? 6/10
7 June 2002
Not nearly as good as the original, but still passes as an above average horror film; The Exorcist III kind of works. George C. Scott has always been a presence on the screen, and he makes no exception here. I was impressed how good the acting and writing was in this film. The film takes it's time, introduces characters, and lets the audience become emerged into the film. Brad Dourif is quite simply frightening. Worth checking out.
2 out of 3 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Pearl Harbor (2001)
8/10
Pearl Harbor 8/10
3 June 2002
Delightfully overdone film that salutes old school film making. Pearl Harbor has taken quite an unfair beating in my opinion. No, this isn't Saving Private Ryan, or even Titanic; however, it's an epic film that's gorgeous to look at and raises the bar in action. The attack scene is as explosive of a scene as I have ever seen. Michael Bay gives the film a beautiful gloss, like most of his films. The romance might be cliché, but that's love. Overall, a worthy film that entertains, and might just do a little more.
0 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
An error has occured. Please try again.

Recently Viewed