I know that it was tempting to Sly to keep making Rocky movies. They made money and people liked the character. The character made Sly. Sure, he had the Rambo character to fall back on, but this was his original love. However, Rocky IV is so horrible, that it momentarily causes us to forget how much we loved the original. It could be said that other than the original and maybe Rocky III, this series has been a disaster. In Rocky IV we have singing robots, more friends dying, plenty of red-baiting and final fight that is so unrealistic, that the WWF would have never aired it. Rockey literally is beaten to a pulp. He is knocked down more than eight times and takes twenty shots in the head before being able to get his hands up. No person could ever survive that beating and no referee would have ever let that beating continue. I guess, the pro-American Rocky vs. the Dirty Communist Drago was good red meat in 1985, with Reagan's America. But looking back at it now, you have to wonder how Sly had the nerve to come back with one more movie?
Reviews
166 Reviews
The Birdcage
(1996)
Robin Williams is Incredible !
7 July 2004
This was not the kind of film that I generally seek out. Just does not appeal to me, seems kind of "Broadway." However, I have to admit, this was funny. What makes it go is just the comedic brilliance of Robin Williams. The man is so versatile. Couple that with the over the top lunacy of Nathan Lane and the reserved Gene Hackman, and you just have a rip-roaring good time. The story centers around a gay father's son marrying the daughter of a right wing Senator. The father of the girl (Hackman) insists on having dinner with his fellow in-laws before the marriage can take place. The gay Robin Williams character does not want to ruin the marriage of his son, but he no longer has a wife. In order to try to do him a favor, William's partner (Nathan Lane) decides he will impersonate the mom at the dinner. Well, most of the movie deals with the dinner from comedic hell. It is a real thrill watching these Hollywood heavyweights battle it out. Good stuff!
Napoleon Dynamite
(2004)
DYNAMITE!!!
3 July 2004
What a truly great film! I have not laughed more loudly at a film since I saw "The Big Lebowski." What is so refreshing about this film, is that it is physical humor, not silly gags. Napolean Dynamite is a bit of a mess as a person. He is not cool, even though he thinks he is. He does not have any friends, until Pedro shows up. His family defines the term "losers." His lone hobbies are drawing (badly) and playing teatherball. Moreover, Napolean's failures in life make him a constant target from other bullies, which leads to Napolean taking a very hostile approach to many things. The movie opens with a young kid asking Napolean "what are you going to do today?" Napolean's response, "whatever I feel like doing, Gosh!" There is something about seeing movies about small town life in abstract places like Preston, Idaho. Moreover, there is something very special about seeing a film that takes so many detailed steps to providing the audience with both an enjoyable and sweet film. I laughed at Napolean, Pedro, Kip, Rico, Deb and Rex. I did not laugh at them because I thought they were dorks, but because I just found them interesting and amusing. This is good entertainment and goes to the top of my list for 2004.
Me, Myself & Irene
(2000)
Very Strong and Very Funny
16 June 2004
Jim Carrey is a comedic genius, period. I don't care if you dislike him or hate his guts. If you deny his talent, you are kidding yourself. The Farrelly Brothers obviously realize this. So they did the smart thing, they turned him loose to go absolutely wild. And does Carey go wild. This film deals with a softy cop (played by Carrey) that has been dumped on his whole life. Moreover, everybody in the town treats him like a chump. One day, this softy cop just snaps, and an alter-ego is unleashed. This alter-ego is vile and sick, the complete opposite of Carrey's real character. Of course, like the Incredible Hulk, Hank (evil persona) is brought out whenever Charlie (good persona) is mad. Now, I know why some people dislike this film. Charlie's three African American sons use more curse words than Tony Montana trying to start an old lawn mower. There are numerous scenes with things placed into certain openings of the human body and well, some strong stuff. However, if you accept that this is just a silly comedy, everything is OK. I have laughed out loud all the way through this film, every time I have seen it. So, brace yourself and enjoy.
I'm Not Scared
(2003)
Almost a Perfect Film
21 May 2004
I don't know what it is about Italian directors, but it just seems that they are more interested in making classic movies than their American counterparts. They don't rely on body counts, car crashes and pyrotechnics. Instead they tell stories and use beautiful images and scenery to enhance it. In "Io non ho paura" we are treated to a coming of age fable that indeed makes one feel young again. We see the world through a ten year old's eyes and sadly, we see how reality starts to over take the innocence of youth. Michele lives in an economically depressed part of Southern Italy. He has a father that is often absent and surroundings that come straight out of Dickens. However, even with very little, he manages to entertain himself and little sister. One day while retrieving something for his little sister, he makes an odd discovery, a child, living in a hole, far away from anywhere. He soon comes to see that this child is being held captive. Of course, being a ten year old, Michele has many wild ideas about why the child is in the hole. However, as the film progresses, Michele starts to grow up and realize what a harsh world it can be. What really makes this movie are the beautiful shots of Southern Italy, where golden fields go as far as the eye can see. And although the film's ending is a slight letdown, overall it is still a wonderful film. Here is hoping that some American directors might find their souls and start trying to emulate this type of cinema. Bravo!
Helter Skelter
(2004 TV Movie)
"Helter Skelter" the comedy
16 May 2004
Oh man! What was CBS thinking? Were there no top level executives screening this thing beforehand? Not since Bob Odenkirk have I seen a Charlie Manson played for laughs. In 1976, there was made for TV movie called Helter Skelter and it starred Steve Railsback. It was one of the scariest and spookiest movies ever put on TV. When you saw Railsback on screen, you felt uncomfortable. His eyes, his look, his voice. The movie had a long lasting effect on anybody that saw it. Well, CBS felt they could do a re-telling of the story. However, it glossed over so many key issues from the book and the case, that you just have to scratch your head. This movie chose to focus on Charlie and the family leading up to the trial. However, the family looks more like extras from an Old Navy commercial. Charlie looks as intimidating as Michael Jackson, wait scratch that, he looks as intimidating as Janet Jackson. Since the actor does not have scary eyes, he tries to do this same rehearsed stare in every scene. It was, dare I say, almost funny. Look, I could trash this movie all night long, but I won't. The real tragedy is that they took a significant event from American History and rushed out a poor re-telling of it. Moreover, the edit is so bad, we do not get to see any of the trial. This was horribly flawed. Watch the original from 1976 or read Bugliosi's book if you want to know what happened and why, oh yeah, and if you want to be scared.
Mean Machine
(2001)
Really Quite Awful
14 May 2004
This was a really bad movie. Not very creative or funny. All the director did was watch "The Longest Yard" and then re-write it for soccer. He changed very little and added nothing. I like the actors that were assembled here, but they are wasted. If in fact you have ever seen the movie "The Longest Yard," you already know ahead of time what is going to happen next in this movie. What I was hoping for was that the director would try to enhance the story, but he did not even try. Some of the commentary used by the prisoner announcers during the big game was amusing. However, overall, you have a tired screenplay and actors trying way too hard to overcompensate for it. Weak effort.
Can you erase fate ?
1 May 2004
It seems like Hollywood is fascinated with the question of whether things are destined to happen or whether freewill determines our actions. Donnie Darko delved into that issue in a brilliant, but somewhat complex way. In "Eternal Sunshine" we are treated to an examination of the stated issue, but in a clear and rather easy to understand way. Joel has had a both wonderful and difficult relationship with Clementine. However, after the fun has ceased to be, Clementine decides to call the whole thing off, actually, she attempts to erase all memories of the relationship. By using a new type of medical procedure, one can remove all memories about something you no longer care to remember. Just think of it, taking your most traumatic memories at getting rid of them forever. Of course, Joel is not aware that Clementine has done this. When heartbroken Joel finds out, he decides that turn about is fair play, so he will cancel his memories of her out. However, as Joel soon discovers, relationships might always end badly, but they were not always bad. Can Joel keep the good times in his memory? If meeting someone is fate, can two people destined for one another really be prevented from meeting or forgotten? I enjoyed this film and although the story might seem complicated, it really is easy to follow. Nice story, great performances and interesting things to think about after you have left the theater. **** out of ****.
Strip Search
(2004 TV Movie)
Interesting Parallels
28 April 2004
When Adolf Hitler solidified his hold on Germany he asked Germans to give up little things so that he could make them stronger. He slowly took more and more freedoms away until there was no freedom at all. As Americans we believe that this could not happen here, we are too democratic. However, many totalitarian governments start slow. In this play, two suspects are being put through a degrading interrogation. One is an American woman being interrogated by a Chinese officer. The other is an Arab being interrogated by an American agent. As the interrogation takes place, the two interrogators become interchangable, saying the same lines. It is a not so subtle way of saying we in the US have become what we had always spoken against. Of course, we can use the argument that we are doing it to protect our way of life. But can't the Chinese use that same excuse? I thought the film was rather blunt, but the message effective. If we are truly the most humane and democratic country in the world, if due process is still alive, then we must show it, not just say it.
Confidence
(2003)
Cliched Crap
26 April 2004
Damn you Quenten Tarantino! You have inspired too many of these hackneyed caper movies. First of all, it would be nice if some of these screenwriters had experience that went beyond just having watched other movies dealing with cons. It would be nice if directors could come up with some original scenes, instead of slow-mow shots of the crew walking down the street. It would be nice if Edward Burns could learn to act. HOWEVER, what would be really nice, is if people would proof-read these lame scripts and realize how truly lame they are. I mean, this is the worst dialog and story I have seen in a long time. I mean, the actors must have known this was crap as it was being filmed. The story is a rehashed tale. A group of grifters pulls off a con on someone big. So, they have to pull another con to make it right. Sound familiar? So they must have the eccentric bad guys. The witty crew members. The tacked on love angle. The blah blah blah. * out of ****.
Can you say "dated piece of crap"?
21 April 2004
Oh man! Why Lord why? Couldn't the actors scrape enough money to prevent the producers from releasing this. I mean, if they could have raised a couple hundred dollars they could have bought the rights and burned it. Let's face it, a couple hundred dollars is more than they made releasing this thing. The plot? Eddie is back with a moustache that makes Oscar Wilde look straight. He has a lame assortment of guys in his band that play Springsteen-like songs without the musicianship, lyrics, and hooks. There are....you know what...just avoid it, it really sucked. On the other hand, if you want a laugh..come to think of it...it is too boring too have any camp value.
This Just In
(2004)
Is this supposed to be funny?
8 April 2004
I'm sorry, but where is the humor? I understand that it is a so-called political satire? Two problems, it is politically simple and not humorous. If I want to see so-called political humor, I will watch Fox News. If I want to see a clever cartoon, I will watch pretty much any cartoon other than this. You want some political humor in this review? This show won't live past the Bush administration. Translation, it is gone after November.
House of 1000 Corpses
(2003)
Like a Vampire, this sucks !
31 March 2004
Wow! How incredibly bad. Of course, the film was made in 2000 and released in 2003, I wonder why. Could be because it sucked. I would tell you about the story but there really isn't one. The acting really sucked. Basically, this is a bad White Zombie video. Made by a demented person who reached his intellectual maturity in the 8th grade. Oh yeah, and it sucked. Did I mention that the film sucked? It really did, sucked that is. If Rob Zombie set out to make a film that really sucked, mission accomplished! You know what? Yeah, that's right, it sucked. Avoid at all costs! 0 out of 4 stars.
The Royal Tenenbaums
(2001)
"Can't someone be a sh*t their whole life and try to repair the damage?"
29 March 2004
The above is the question Royal Tenenbaum poses to his "adopted daughter" Margo. Royal is a self-centered, shameless SOB. His whole life has been devoted to his own personal desire for comfort. However, as Royal grows older, he realizes that he has missed out on the most important thing in life, family. In his case, his family is a creative assortment of professional tennis players, aspiring playwrights and genius entrepreneurs. Wes Anderson has made what I think is the finest film of the last decade. His imaginative script elicits incredible performances from Hackman, Stillar, the Wilson brothers, etc. The wonderful music enhances unforgettable scenes that stay with you forever. Who would have thought that someone could make me become a fan of the music of Nico and Elliot Smith. I don't know of another director that involves so much detail into a story. There is so much thought and imagination behind everything. This is not so much a movie, but rather a work of art. I laughed during this film and I cried. The one thing that I wished was that it could continue for hours more. I really think in Wes Anderson, America has found its next Orson Welles and with the Tenenbaums, the Citizen Kane of our time. Perfect film.
Ulee's Gold
(1997)
A Very Special Film
23 March 2004
I just love this film. I like the Faulkner-like story set in the South. I like the subdued, yet brilliant performance by Peter Fonda. I like the detailed shots of the art of beekeeping. The music...I just love this movie. The story centers around Ulee, a stoic beekeeper and honey maker. Ulee's son is doing time in prison for his part in a robbery. His son's wife is a junkie who walked out on her three daughters, leaving Ulee to raise them. Although Ulee is not an emotional man, you sense he loves his grandkids and son, he just has trouble showing it. Well, the mom comes back, his son's partners in crime come back and Ulee realizes that his simple life is in great peril. This is a wonderful family film and I think a performance by Fonda that is very personal. I highly recommend it.
Igby Goes Down
(2002)
Both Igby and the Story get lost
11 March 2004
"Igby Goes Down" is a little bit "Catcher in the Rye", a little bit "The Wonder Boys" and a little bit Fox television. It seems loaded with potential at the start with several clever one-liners and hip music. We see a Holden Caufield for the new millenium in young Igby, as confused as ever. However, as we watch Igby wander about aimlessly, we also see a plot wander with him. There seems to be no real structure here. I realize that the story is not traditional and therefore maybe it should not be structured as so, but it could still be tightened up a bit. As the film starts to move toward a more structured storyline in the end, it starts to feel somewhat uninspired and dull. I guess you can't win for losing. I won't give it a failing mark, because it was a film that took chances and I admire that. However, I cannot call it very good either. I guess both Igby and the director were a tad bit confused.
Zoolander
(2001)
Brilliant!!
9 March 2004
This is perhaps the finest cinematic achievement of all time. Wilson's performance is stellar and Stiller's makes you pee your pants with laughter (even if you don't have a pre-existing condition). Wonderful, wonderful movie. So great, I've actually changed my name to Derek Hansel Zoolander to celebrate this triumph of a movie! One particular excellent scene is when the three models die in a "freak gasoline fight accident." The look of terror on Stiller's face when his friends are about to be blown to smitherines is priceless. You can't learn that kind of acting at a school. That's natural born talent right there. Bottom line: This movie is Stiller's, Wilson's, and Ferrel's finest hours and should have been nominated for the academy awards. It's a pure crime is wasn't. Death to Oscar!!!
Catch Me If You Can
(1989)
Dated and Terrible
9 March 2004
Wow! I remember so many awful films that loosely revolved around high school from the early 1980s. They usually had someincredibly strained plot and lots of 27 year old actors pretending to be students. As I watched this film I felt a little of the nostalgia of growing up in the 1980s. However, then I find out that this film was made in 1989? Say what! Well, the nostalgia factor ends right there, this is just bad. The plot has the city preparing to close a high school and threatening to bus all of the students to inner city high schools. Which is odd, in that the students at this school are both wealthy and abundant. In fact, the main character lives in a mansion. Makes you wonder how they cannot find money to keep this school alive, have they never heard of property taxes. Oh, but here is the kicker. The school board says that they will keep the school alive, if the students can raise $200,000. So the seniors go about doing this. Hmmm, you raise $200,000 but instead of saving that for college, you put it towards saving the high school that you are a Senior in? And why exactly would they close an overpopulated school before the year is out? And...ahh forget it, this film was stupid and made in 1989!?
Starsky & Hutch
(2004)
Mildly Entertaining
8 March 2004
I have to admit that I love Ben Stillar and Owen Wilson, I will watch them in anything. Moreover, their appearances in "Zoolander" and "Royal Tenenbaums" made for two of my most favorite films of all-time. So, when I see them and Vince Vaughn appearing in a film, I am there. I expected to see some light lunacy, mindless fun for fun's sake. Not quite. Oh sure, there were some funny scenes in this film. However, the craziness of Zoolander is just not there. This is a very tame film that seeks to stick to a rather dull and unimaginative theme when it should have just let loose. We want insanity but director Tod Phillips gives us standard stuff. I believe the film would have benefited tremendously from allowing Wilson and Stillar to have more input on the script. My review might sound harsh, but this film could have been so much better. Even Ferrel and Vaughn are wasted in roles that are just too straight. Here is hoping that the next partnership between Wilson and Stillar is a bit more memorable.
Bound
(1996)
A Brilliant Thriller
3 March 2004
I cannot think of a film that creates a more elaborate and intelligent sequence of events than Bound. This leads to that and that leads to something else and that leads to this and so on. What is special about this film, is that everything is connected. This is not Tarantino nonsense, that has no point and simply tries to rely on gimmicks and witty dialog. This is a clever thriller. The story centers around Corky, Violet and Caesar, who in one way or another, are involved in a plan to scam the mob. Of course, scamming the mob is never a good idea. Issues of trust, loyalty, love, violence and everything else are covered. There are very arousing sex scenes and scenes of disturbing violence, utilizing pruning shears. All of it choreographed beautifully by two very talented brothers. However,it is Joe Pantoliano who steals the show. He plays a wiseguy that gets caught in a downward spiral that can only finish one way, but he does his best to delay it. How he was omitted by the Academy is beyond me. To the pompous nitwits that peck away at this film, I have one question. What Hollywood films in the last ten years can you reel off that were nearly as clever as this film? Yeah, I thought so. **** out of ****, a simply brilliant motion picture.
An amazing video game..I mean movie
2 March 2004
I have seen a lot of movies made from computer programs, Lara Croft, etc.. However, this computer generated cartoon beats them all. No, nobody really gave a great performance individually or they would have got a nomination and won it no doubt. But the graphics, oh man, they almost looked like a real movie being shot. Moreover, the special effects were incredible. I can see why this movie won seven Oscars for special effects alone. I mean, you have to give it to this movie, it had some great special effects. Oh sure, the acting was overdone and a bit sappy, but man, get a look at the special effects here. I mean, it won 11 Oscars, so I guess it must be the best film ever, even though nobody from the film was acknowledged for their performance, because nobody was really great in it, but man, the special effects here, outstanding. Hey, a billion geeks can't be wrong.
The Fugitive
(1993)
Great action mixed with some incredibly bad acting
12 February 2004
I did not know what to think when I saw this movie. I was pulled into the story dealing with Richard Kimball's desperate attempt to find his wife's killer and clear his name. "Wrongly accused" stories always are intriguing. This part of the film was good, you really are pulling for Harrison Ford here. HOWEVER, then you have the supporting cast and story. Here is where it all goes bad. The group of marshals led by Tommy Lee Jones have a script that consists of about three lines. The problem is that they dominate half of the screen time. The result is overacting at its worst. Overplaying skimpy lines and doing it so badly. Dominating camera time and not having anything to do or say. I was shocked at scenes that were included in this film. So much empty filler. There is one marshal with a ponytail, and he is about the worst actor I have ever seen. Am I the only person that saw this? I guess the casting idea was that he was realistic as a marshal, because a real marshal probably would not know how to act either? Is it his fault, or does he just not have a well written role? Not sure, but it is bad. Truth be told, this is a rather simplistic action story. However, by putting Ford and Jones in the leads, you get some credibility. I just wish that they had spent a little more time trying to develop a smarter script and some better acting.
First Blood
(1982)
This is a Great Great Film!
10 February 2004
It is sad that the image of Sly Stallone has become what it has become. He is mocked and used as a punchline by more than a few comics. As a result, many of his films are seen in a less than favorable light. This is very unfortunate, because in "First Blood," Sly made one of the great all-time action films. However, it is more than an action film, and if the final scene does not make your skin tingle, well, you are not human. In many ways, First Blood captures, more than any other film, the difficulty many returning Vietnam Vets had when they returned to America. They had so many friends and so much responsibility in Vietnam. Back in America, they were isolated and slow to readjust into the peacetime way of life. As a result, many were sent wandering about, or worse, heading to jail. First Blood tells the story of one American hero who you should not push too far. In John Rambo, you have a hero from a war nobody wanted to remember. However, the town that persecuted him will remember him, for a long time.
Showgirls
(1995)
Why are people so critical, this was funny as hell!
9 February 2004
I have not laughed harder at a movie in the last decade than I did at this one. I mean, not "The Big Lebowski" or "Zoolander." This has you smiling at first and rolling on the floors as you go. It tells the story of a not very bright dancer with poor acting skills. Or is that the actress who played in the role. You know it;s funny, when comedic acting is this good, the character and actress blend into one in the same. Well, anyways, this chick, who used to be in "Saved By the Bell," shows her breasts a lot (among other things) and she dances, kind of, well, she does not really dance very well. And this, along with the parody of acting, makes this quite possibly the funniest movie ever. Moreover, with the nudity, you get two for one. Where was Oscar when this was made!? Where is Showgirls II!? Encore! Encore!
Ocean's Eleven
(2001)
Was it supposed to make you ill?
5 February 2004
I can think of few films I hated more in the last couple of years than this one. It was sappy, fluffy, predictable, unoriginal, uninspired, unimaginative, claptrap! Hmmm, what did I leave out? Of course, fans of the movie will say it is emulating the original "Rat Pack" product. I suppose they are right, because that film was poor as well. Is it an accomplishment when you remake a bad film badly? So why remake it? Uhh, so Brad Pitt and George Clooney can try to be suave? Yeah, I guess so. It certainly was not to let Julia Roberts display her acting prowess, this is a phoned in performance all the way (poor Julia, she wanted to look cool as well). No, this was a Steven Soderbergh ego trip. A way for him to say "look at me!" I looked, and I have the same impression that I have had after viewing all of his films. He is Jerry Bruckheimer with a few more IQ points. By the way, that is not a compliment.
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