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6/10
I actually like Prometheus more now.
25 May 2017
Ridley Scott is once again in the directing chair, and this movie really is trying to please everyone. You get the action from Aliens, you get the sci-fi and horror from Alien, and for you smart folks, you get the thought provoking science of Prometheus. Now that sounds like a nice idea. Unfortunately, this movie isn't all that nice. It is going back to basics, and I believe it is a missed opportunity to explore new ground.

The horror in the movie is literally every horror cliché you've seen before. The Covenant, are literally the dumbest characters in a slasher movie you see, even though they are scientist. I'm talking about dumb horror characters in 80s sleaze, straight to video, grindhouse, cheap video store movies. Such as, wandering off in the dark by yourself, trusting the man with the shifty eyes and blood smear on his hands, having sex when you know danger is around the corner, telling people you will be right back, let's go off course, let's party, and more. A character literally goes off and has two options. One option is going down the brightly lit corridor with my crewmembers. Or, going down the dark corridor, by myself, with a eerie noise, and a splotch of burgundy blood smeared on the floor. Geez, I wonder which way I should go? Katherine Waterston as Dany is the only relatable character because she is the only one with common sense.

Also, I wish this movie would have been more creative. It is almost as if Ridley Scott was making a parody of his own past movie. Meaning, what we see in the film we have seen in Alien and Aliens. The facehugger, the alien bursting through someone's chest only know it's another alien bursting out through someone's spine, even Dany has the same hair style and tank top that Weaver had and wore in the first two films. Furthermore, if you are someone who is confused on the story of Prometheus, I think you will be even more confused by this.

Written By - Nile Fortner
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Iron Fist (2017–2018)
5/10
Does Marvel's Iron Fist Deserve More Respect?
31 March 2017
Honestly, I would have to agree that this is one of the weaker shows. That does not mean it is horrible, because it is not. It's just more of the same we've seen before, and does not offer anything new like the previous MCU Netflix shows.

We get so much time with this company, instead of getting time with our main character. One of the bad organizations in this series, The Hand, never really comes off as menacing, and it is mainly because we do not get to spend much time with them.

Another big thing I have to get off my chest is how this show feels like a superhero show you would see on the CW network and a superhero show in the late 90s and early 2000s.

We are in a time where we are seeing the evolution of superhero films, and people want change. This show goes back to those very typical superhero shows we've seen in the past. For instance, shows like Smallville. From the first couple of episodes you can even predict the ending of the series.

Finn Jones does a decent job as our main hero. But my biggest problem is how the character is written. His character is written to tell us his story, instead of showing us his story and character.

Rosario Dawson (Sin City, Top Five) comes back as her character Claire Temple from Daredevil and Luke Cage. Dawson is always going to be one of my favorite actresses. However, her character here feels very much like she is just there to connect this to the other shows. Throughout the series, she is just mainly there to be the voice of reason.

In addition, this show honestly has episodes you can skip. You can skip certain episodes, and you will still completely understand the plot. So a few episodes feel very much like filler episodes. Episode six is where things really get moving.

Speaking of episodes, RZA (The Wu-Tang Clan, The Man With the Iron Fist) directs episode six, and episodes six in my opinion is the best episode. That is the one that feels the most like a comic book and those old school kung-fu flicks. You can tell RZA really does have a passion for this style. It shows in his music and him as a director.

While watching this, I kept say to myself, "What if all these fight scenes were filmed like Gareth Evan's The Raid movies?"

That movie offered some of the best action and fighting scenes I have ever seen in filmmaking. It is ruthless, you can tell what is going on, and it looks like it was filmed all in one take.

Before there was Pryor and Wilder, before there was Woody and Wesley, before there was Murphy and Nolte, before there was Dre and Marshall, there was "Power Man" Luke Cage and Iron Fist.

In the comics, these guys are a team, known as Power Man and Iron Fist, a.k.a the Heroes for Hire. Earlier I mentioned how Claire is used to connect this show to the other shows. I believe this show should have been written where the first half is Iron Fist, and the second half transitions into the Heroes for Hire.

That way you keep the popularity of Cage going, and are establishing a not so popular superhero, Fist, with mainstream audiences. With great writing, anything is possibly in storytelling.

Overall,they do have compelling characters, and compelling stories. But at the end of it all it is half-and-half for me. My biggest issue is how the show ended, the action sequences, and the writing. I believe season one of Marvel's Iron Fist on Netflix earns a…

5 out of 10

I think in The Defenders, Iron Fist will get some better treatment.

Written by Nile Fortner
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8/10
Is Dave Chappelle Still a Comedy King?
28 March 2017
Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, children of all ages, grandmothers and grandfathers, Dave Cha-Pezzy is back, the one and only Dave Chappelle is back!

Dave Chappelle (Half – Baked, The Chappelle Show) the comedy icon, makes his long awaited return to the screen and to the stage. Dave Chappelle now has a Netflix Original stand-up comedy special. With new, mature, raunchy, contemptuous, and always compelling comedy material.

Now if you are coming into this thinking you're getting that Chappelle that says, "I'm Rick James, bitch!" Or him as Lil John, Prince, and as everyone's favorite crackhead Tyrone Biggums, you are not getting that. What you have here is a more mature Chappelle that has grown, and discusses more of his daily life.

That's right Dave Chappelle grew up. He discusses politics, sex, scandals, race issues, kids, the education system, marriage, and all that good stuff. The stand-up special is actually two parts. The first part is titled, The Age of Spin Live at The Hollywood Palladium. The second part is titled, Deep in the Heart of Texas: Dave Chappelle Live at Austin City Limits.

Fans online have been debating which special is better. I believe they are both well done. However, I do believe the first special is better.

I personally enjoyed The Age of Spin Live at The Hollywood Palladium more for a variety of reasons. It really does feel like he is talking to the audience, he hasn't performed in L.A. in 10 years, it is more mature, it's funny, and you truly do feel like he is happy to be back, and happy to have grown as a comedian.

That doesn't mean it is a perfect stand-up special, because in my opinion it is not. One of the biggest issues I have is the topics of current events.

I wish there were more recent news topics Chappelle discussed in his special. For example, he could have made jokes and or statements about Trump, Obama leaving office, movies, trends, television shows (like when he played Negan from Walking Dead on Saturday Night Live), social media, and the entertainment industry then vs. now.

Talking about Bill Cosby and O.J. Simpson now feels just a little dated. Even though the jokes are funny, just more fresher topics could have been used. I appreciate him taking a serious topic and adding a light hearted and funny message behind it though.

The first special is…how can I put this? Stupid funny. He tells a joke about every time he has met O.J. and each one of them is hilarious, but really stupid. For instance, this isn't a spoiler, but it involves Chappelle and O.J.'s wife. Chappelle reenacts when he met O.J.'s wife and he says, "Woman, are you trying' to get us both killed?"

Furthermore, he literally opens the show telling the crowd, "You all better be a tough crowd, I'm going to say some stuff, so don't get mad." So if you are someone who is easily offended this is NOT for you. On the other hand, if you are someone who has thick skin and can take race jokes, sex jokes, and profanity the by all means 'njoy.

What I mainly enjoyed about the 2nd half is Chappelle discussing more of his private life. For example, his young son getting into a fight with girl. Chappelle mentions how he took a bite out of his son's school lunch, and then put it back in the bag so his son wouldn't notice. His son thought it was a girl in the class, and it ended up with his son slapping a little girl. This isn't the first father dilemma Chappelle discusses.

Also, Chappelle discusses his marriage. He has been married since 2001, and he talks about/makes jokes about long marriages and relationships. I was cracking up laughing, when he mentions when his wife leaves the house he likes to get naked, jerk off and eat cereal in the living room.

That's what I mean when I say you are getting more of the old Chappelle on this second half of the stand-up special. In my opinion, this half had too many sex jokes and gay jokes. It started out funny, but then I was ready for him to move onto the next topic.

Overall, these are my final thoughts on Dave Chappelle's stand-up Netflix Special. Netflix announced these aren't the only two specials we are getting. There are more coming on the way towards the end of the year, and I say bring it on.

Chappelle is more than Rick James, bitch. He is funny, has improved, has matured, he is a comedy king, and like Comedy Central has stated, I do believe he is one of the greatest comedians of all time. I believe this earns…

4 out of 5 Hairpieces!

Thank you all for reading and or viewing, and I hope you all have an amazing day as always. :)

Now if you'll excuse me, much like Dave Chappelle, I need to get my bowl of cereal ready and head on into the living room.

Review Written By Nile Fortner
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8/10
Things May Be Bigger in Texas, But Are They As Funny?
28 March 2017
Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, children of all ages, grandmothers and grandfathers, Dave Cha-Pezzy is back, the one and only Dave Chappelle is back!

Dave Chappelle (Half – Baked, The Chappelle Show) the comedy icon, makes his long awaited return to the screen and to the stage. Dave Chappelle now has a Netflix Original stand-up comedy special. With new, mature, raunchy, contemptuous, and always compelling comedy material.

Now if you are coming into this thinking you're getting that Chappelle that says, "I'm Rick James, bitch!" Or him as Lil John, Prince, and as everyone's favorite crackhead Tyrone Biggums, you are not getting that. What you have here is a more mature Chappelle that has grown, and discusses more of his daily life.

That's right Dave Chappelle grew up. He discusses politics, sex, scandals, race issues, kids, the education system, marriage, and all that good stuff. The stand-up special is actually two parts. The first part is titled, The Age of Spin Live at The Hollywood Palladium. The second part is titled, Deep in the Heart of Texas: Dave Chappelle Live at Austin City Limits.

Fans online have been debating which special is better. I believe they are both well done. However, I do believe the first special is better.

I personally enjoyed The Age of Spin Live at The Hollywood Palladium more for a variety of reasons. It really does feel like he is talking to the audience, he hasn't performed in L.A. in 10 years, it is more mature, it's funny, and you truly do feel like he is happy to be back, and happy to have grown as a comedian.

That doesn't mean it is a perfect stand-up special, because in my opinion it is not. One of the biggest issues I have is the topics of current events.

I wish there were more recent news topics Chappelle discussed in his special. For example, he could have made jokes and or statements about Trump, Obama leaving office, movies, trends, television shows (like when he played Negan from Walking Dead on Saturday Night Live), social media, and the entertainment industry then vs. now.

Talking about Bill Cosby and O.J. Simpson now feels just a little dated. Even though the jokes are funny, just more fresher topics could have been used. I appreciate him taking a serious topic and adding a light hearted and funny message behind it though.

The first special is…how can I put this? Stupid funny. He tells a joke about every time he has met O.J. and each one of them is hilarious, but really stupid. For instance, this isn't a spoiler, but it involves Chappelle and O.J.'s wife. Chappelle reenacts when he met O.J.'s wife and he says, "Woman, are you trying' to get us both killed?"

Furthermore, he literally opens the show telling the crowd, "You all better be a tough crowd, I'm going to say some stuff, so don't get mad." So if you are someone who is easily offended this is NOT for you. On the other hand, if you are someone who has thick skin and can take race jokes, sex jokes, and profanity the by all means 'njoy.

What I mainly enjoyed about the 2nd half is Chappelle discussing more of his private life. For example, his young son getting into a fight with girl. Chappelle mentions how he took a bite out of his son's school lunch, and then put it back in the bag so his son wouldn't notice. His son thought it was a girl in the class, and it ended up with his son slapping a little girl. This isn't the first father dilemma Chappelle discusses.

Also, Chappelle discusses his marriage. He has been married since 2001, and he talks about/makes jokes about long marriages and relationships. I was cracking up laughing, when he mentions when his wife leaves the house he likes to get naked, jerk off and eat cereal in the living room.

That's what I mean when I say you are getting more of the old Chappelle on this second half of the stand-up special. In my opinion, this half had too many sex jokes and gay jokes. It started out funny, but then I was ready for him to move onto the next topic.

Overall, these are my final thoughts on Dave Chappelle's stand-up Netflix Special. Netflix announced these aren't the only two specials we are getting. There are more coming on the way towards the end of the year, and I say bring it on.

Chappelle is more than Rick James, bitch. He is funny, has improved, has matured, he is a comedy king, and like Comedy Central has stated, I do believe he is one of the greatest comedians of all time. I believe this earns an…

8 out of 10!

Thank you all for reading and or viewing, and I hope you all have an amazing day as always. :)

Now if you'll excuse me, much like Dave Chappelle, I need to get my bowl of cereal ready and head on into the living room.

Review Written By Nile Fortner
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Life (I) (2017)
9/10
Life (2017) Movie Review – Is This Sci-fi Film Recycling Other Sci-fi Films?
27 March 2017
No. This movie isn't a remake or re-imagining of the 1999 Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence movie of the same name. So don't expect to see Murphy fighting over some cornbread in space or anything like that.

If this movie feels familiar, it just might be. Many people saw this trailer, and said to themselves, "Why are you reenacting the script of 'Aliens'?" While watching this movie, just from the trailer alone, you feel a vibe of other science fiction films you've seen before.

Did We See This Movie Before?

While watching this, I constantly kept saying to myself all of the movies that are like this. It reminded me of Alien, Splice, Gravity, Cloverfield, The Fly, Ex Machina, Apollo 18, Predator, and The Thing.

There are a lot of films that have this blueprint, a lot of films that follow this formula. In my opinion, even Ridley Scott (Alien, Prometheus) is starting to reenact his own movies. Even the movie Alien isn't the first movie of its kind. The whole finding new life or a new whatever and it turns out to be dangerous has roots that go way way back in movies.

This film has been advertising itself like it is a science fiction and a thriller movie. However, it is more than that. It is a creature feature, a thriller, science fiction, a B- Movie, and a horror.

I know most movies like this do not have the best character development. However, this movie could have used just a little bit more character development. We learn little details about our characters through little lines of dialogue. For instance, Jake Gyllenhaal's character seems like a loner. He says in the movie how he never belonged on Earth, and he likes the hum of space more than the noise of Earth.

Ryan Reynolds character is the one character I didn't feel a connection to. The only thing we really know about his character is he wants to kill Calvin, and he is an astronaut plumber. Meaning, when the astronauts use the bathroom, and all that feces, all that stool is floating around on the ship, Reynolds character fixes the toilet, and disposes the waste.

Speaking of Ryan Reynolds, this movie is from the same director as Safe House, which also starred Reynolds. I didn't like the movie Safe House. But I'm glad the director worked with Reynolds again, because I thought Reynolds was very good in Safe House.

"In Space, No One Can Hear You Scream."

Accordingly, even though the alien Calvin is our biggest threat in the movie, there is another threat that is just as scary. The threat being the elements of space. This movie, much like Gravity, shows the audience how horrifying outer space can really be.

Gravity plays a horror role as well. Calvin grows up to be like a very large stingray that can easily glide through space. While the astronauts have difficulty moving around, getting where they need to go in a quick manner, and adapting to their surroundings.

Also, Calvin was made for this environment, unlike humans. Once our resources run out in space, we might as well consider ourselves dead. We have a lack of oxygen, limited oxygen, it's cold, and there is even a scene where someone drowns in their suit because their helmet floods with harmful liquid.

About 95 percent of the movie takes place inside the space station. This creates a claustrophobic environment as well. So overall, these characters have more than just Calvin to deal with.

My biggest problem with the movie is it could have been more original. It takes the best parts out of the movies I mentioned earlier like Splice, Gravity and The Thing, and they make that their movie.

I really want to give this movie a perfect rating. I had fun, it was entertaining, and I personally had a blast. On the other hand, in order for me to give it a perfect rating, it would have had to be just a little bit more original. All that being said, I believe the 2017 movie 'Life' earns…

9.5 out of 10!

Well if no one in space can hear me scream, I'm ready to get back to Earth, and get back to some cornbread, because I'm getting pretty hungry.

Until next time, thank you all for reading and or viewing, and I hope you all have an amazing day as always. :)

Life (2017) Movie Review Written By - Nile Fortner
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6/10
The Belko Experiment is Bloody, Brutal, B - Movie Fun, and a Bad Day at the Office
18 March 2017
We've all had those days where we felt like killing our fellow co workers. It's just another day at the office. Filing papers, wearing a tie that took 20 minutes to long to put on, stapling papers, photocopying papers, half-asleep security guard, someone smoking a blunt before break, and computer work that no one feels like really doing.

In Columbia, 80 American workers have what seems like a very day-to-day office job working at Belko. Suddenly, large metal doors shield the building. A mysterious voice comes over the intercom telling the workers, if you guys do not kill a certain amount of people within the time period we give you, we are going to kill double that and kill random people.

At first, the workers think it is all a joke, but this is no laughing matter. From that point on, people's heads explode; we get gunfire, murder, carnage, and office employees fighting each other to the death! Damn, and I thought my job was killer.

At times, this movie feels like it could have been a 80s movie. This film is written by James Gunn, and when it comes to movies that he has written, I feel like I can tell from the script he is someone who was inspired by 80s sleaze movies. For instance, his 2006 movie Slither feels very much like 1986s Night of the Creeps.

I personally enjoy those types of movies, and I thought the movie captured that likeness and tone very well. There was never really a dull moment in this movie, mainly because the film dives right into the kill your peers plot. Really, within 15 minutes or less the ball gets rolling.

Is The Belko Experiment as Bad as People are Making it Out to Be?

As I mentioned, I do enjoy the movie from a horror and B – Movie standpoint. On the other hand, I wish the movie could have been more original, and written a little bit better. Honestly, in my opinion this is the weakest James Gunn script he has written.

James Gunn is one of my all time favorite directors. I like Slither, and I absolutely love Super and Guardians of the Galaxy. I actually consider those two movies to be on my all time favorites list.

I believe this movie would have been better if Gunn actually directed it. Not that the director, Greg McLean is bad, because he is not by any means. I just think Gunn would have made for some better comedic moments, thrills, and tone. This movie takes itself seriously, and I think the tone of Slither, comedy/horror, would have made for a better tone.

In addition, I believe this script could have been more original and overall written a little bit more effectively.

This movie has a great concept, a concept we've seen so many times before. Only this time it is with a parade of gore. This movie reminds me of so many other movies. For instance, Saw, The Hunger Games, Battle Royale, and The Running Man.

This movie has an amazing concept, but it touched upon familiar ground. I feel like with some rewrites this film could have been that fun B – Movie horror film, with a little comedic moment, and could have had a message for the audience. A message about human morals, selfishness, playing God, instincts, human psychology and our will to survive. Even though I mentioned there is not one dull moment throughout the film, the kills get a little dull after a while. A majority of the office workers kill each other with guns and knives.

Maybe this is the horror movie nerd in me, but I was hoping for at least that one badass kill I could remember. I wish there was that one kill that was creative. For example, maybe they use some more office supplies to kill each other. Bash someone's head repeatedly on a copy machine, while the person is bashing their brains out, photocopies come out of the printer of the person's head being slammed. Or a small crossbow made out of pencils and rubber bands. Something like the Office Depot of death!

I really do have mixed feelings about this movie. At the end of the day, it did entertain me, and that is one of the most important things for me when it comes to movies. I do believe it is one of the weaker James Gunn scripts, and this story had more areas to explore. I believe The Belko Experiment earns a…

6.5 out of 10.

Well I'm about to clock out from this review, because this job has got me tired. Until next time, thank you all for reading and or viewing, and I hope you all have an amazing day as always. :)
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Logan (2017)
8/10
Hugh Jackman Takes The Last Stand As The Wolverine in 'Logan'.
7 March 2017
Now you have 20th Century Fox taking a huge risk with not only this character, but with this franchise as well. If you are thinking that you are getting another comic book movie that follows the same pattern as the others. Believe me, you are getting something new and refreshing in the superhero/comic book genre. This is something the genre has been needing for a long time.

One of the many problems people, including myself, had with the last X – Men movie, X – Men: Apocalypse, was it was more of the same. I did enjoy that movie; on the other hand, I do believe it is one of the weaker films in the series.

This is honestly the most depressing film in the series. It's almost like this film doesn't even like their main character. It's sad to see what Wolverine has come to. He saved the world, has traveled back in time, and has been a hero for people and mutants. Now he is miserable, sick, has thoughts of suicide, he is dirty, and he has a job as a limousine driver, driving teenagers to prom.

Accordingly, this movie is Rated R with a purpose. It isn't Rated R to show you more guts, more blood, more profanity and more nudity. It's not like the "Rated R" version of Batman v Superman. Where Batman drops an F – bomb just because. To me that is not really being edgy or taking a chance. Taking a chance is making a project Rated R to challenge the characters morals, have character development, and go in a new direction for a story. Which this film does wonderfully.

This movie is more of a drama, but this movie has a lot of action to. When Wolverine goes berserk, I'm telling you, that son of a b*tch goes berserk, buck wild, and he loses his mind!

Claws exit out of people's faces, skulls, and this is the most brutal I've seen Wolverine. X – 23 is also a real hardcore bad ass as well. Sometimes she out shines Wolverine in the fight scenes.

She is only eleven in the movie, but she is a great actress. Most of the time she stays quiet. She has to show us her feelings through facial expressions, which she captures those emotions very well. When she does speak, both English and Spanish, you can tell she is delivering her lines with passion. She has so much emotional weight to carry, and for this little girl it seems like the weight wasn't too heavy. She also has some funny scenes as well.

The End of an Era for the X – Men?

As much as I loved the series, I do not think this will be the last of these mutants. Even though this movie ended so beautifully, it wouldn't bother me at all if this was the last film in the franchise. I love the way the film ends. Even though it was a little depressing, it was a nice send off for Jackman, it ended where if the movies want to, they can possibly create a spin off, and it seemed to put everything to rest in positive way.

The movie has well developed characters, it's a change in the genre, it's action packed, funny, and it's a perfect send off for Jackman. Thank you Hugh. I believe Logan earns…

8 out of 10!

That being said, thank you all for reading and or viewing, and I hope you all have an X - cellent day as always. :)

Review - Nile Fortner
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Get Out (I) (2017)
9/10
A White Woman Will Make a Brotha Want to 'Get Out'!
2 March 2017
Is Get Out Changing the Future of Horror Flicks?

I know the media makes it seem like many white people are scared of darker skin people. On the other hand, there is an equal amount of fear. Some darker skin people are actually afraid of Caucasians.

Now I've never really been that kind of person…because of all those white women! Horniness will overcome fear. Yeah that's right, I've been up in that game before! I'm just kidding. But in all seriousness, I've never really been afraid of someone just because of the color of their skin. Unless I'm in the middle of a Neo – Nazi rally or a Klan meeting, I don't think I have much to be afraid of.

But for a lot of brothers and sisters out there, being the only person of color in a large group can be a little mysterious at times. A lot of things can come across your mind if you are put into that situation. Such as, "What happened to everyone else? Am I though token? Are these people going to kill me?" and that is exactly what goes through the mind of our main character Chris.

"So how long has this been going on — this … thang?"

When Chris comes across Rose's parents, played by Bradley Whitford (Billy Madison, The Cabin in the Woods) and Catherine Keener (Capote, The 40-Year-Old Virgin) let's just say Rose's parents are acting a little off the wall, they're simply acting f*ckin' weird.

I can see where this movie might anger some people. Mainly because it deals with race, race issues, social issues, and other heavy topics. On the other hand, if you truly see this movie, and open your mind, you'll see that this movie is one of the best horror films/comedies in a really long time. I absolutely had a terrific time seeing this in theaters, and I think most people are loving this film right here.

I'm just gonna dive into it, and give you the inside scoop. The movie does a remarkable job at building up tension. It starts off with an awkward encounter with Rose's parents. Then things really flip a switch. It's bloody, scary, violent, has social commentary and it all works. The humor works, the horror works, and the thriller ride is a real journey. The movie is really a great mix up of different genres in one. Later on in the film, we are introduced again to Chris' best friend, Rod, played by Lil Rel Howery (The Carmichael Show).

T.S. Motherf*ckin' A Saves the Day!

Rod truly is the comedy gold of this movie. Everything from his theory on Chris becoming a sex slave for these people to him believing he is the baddest T.S.A. officer on the block.

In a way, I feel like Rod was the character that can relate to the audience. Meaning Rod ask Chris what we would ask our friend if they were put in that situation. Such as, "How are you not scared of this?" Speaking of people in the theater, this audience was really passionate, having fun, and really enjoying the movie from start to finish. People in the theater were clapping, cheering, screaming, and this is the type of film that made an audience come to life. One young lady was sitting next to me, and she tapped me, a total stranger, and said to me with a mouth full of popcorn and shiny buttered lips, "Damn this movie is hella good!"

Hence, the writing, the directing, and the direction is all very artistic, fun, relatable, and I had a great time with this movie. I actually can't wait to see this movie again. When it comes to a perfect blend of horror and comedy, this is what Kevin Smith's Tusk film should have been like.

The comedy doesn't feel forced, it has great tension, an original story, has a message, and there is not one dull point in this movie. I believe Get Out earns…

9.5 Out of 10!

So if you haven't seen Get Out, what are you still doing reading this review? Get out and go see Get Out.

"So how long has this been going on — this … thang?" Long enough for me to close the book on this review for now and possibly get back up in the game of some pretty white women. I'll take the risk. Until next time, thank you all for reading, and or viewing, and I hope you all get out and have an amazing day as always. :)
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Triple 9 (2016)
6/10
Crooked cops, gangsters, bank robbers and bullets fly through Atlanta in the film Triple 9.
23 February 2017
So last night I decided to make a couple of banana and blueberry smoothies, have a lazy night, and watch the movie Triple 9 with my dad. I remember when this film first came out, and I really wanted to see it. It has an amazing cast, the choreography and camera work look great, and overall it looked like a nice chill out and watch kind of flick.

The criminals in this world can do pretty much, whatever they want, because the cops are the biggest criminals. The Israeli/Russian mob in Atlanta of all places, forces these cops to rob banks and do more ruthless acts of crime.

The opening to this movie is off the chain. It has a bank-robbing scene, a car chase, a cool shoot out, great action scenes, and cinematography, and it is all done with so much style. This movie really does have amazing looking scenes, and this is a director (John Hillcoat) I was thinking could be a potential to direct a Batman movie.

The beginning is awesome, but the movie slowly begins to fade away after that. It's like they blew their entire load in the beginning. Which I understand you want to start things off on a high note. But contain yourself, hold some of that load for later. Damn, that sounds weird. But I'm sure you get the picture.

This movie does a real good job of making Atlanta look scary. Woody Harrelson, high off his ass and wearing a werewolf mask in Atlanta is enough to keep me away from Atlanta for a while put it that way. Even though my Granddad lives there…oh well. When I'm not scared anymore, I'll come visit you. Don't blame me, blame Triple 9.

Also, I thought it was cool how the movie kept calling them dirty cops, and some of the cast members who play cops look dirty, worn down, and grungy. To keep things simple, Aaron Paul pretty much plays the same character from Breaking Bad. He looks sweaty, grungy, drugged out, and really does portray his character as if he has been through a lot.

The cast is my favorite part about this entire movie. But the movies biggest problem for me is I don't know who the protagonist is, and I can't relate to any of the characters. I love Casey Affleck as an actor. On the other hand, his character in this is very bland in my opinion. All I got from his character is that he chews bubble gum to look tough, and he is a newbie on this particular force. It's not that he is a weak actor, because he is not, it's the material that falls a little short. Chiwetel Ejiofor's character is the most well rounded out of everyone.

Also, anyone who knows me, knows I love meh some good ol' Gal Gadot. Gal Gadot is starting to become one of my favorite actresses. She is lovely, tough, dedicated, seems very nice in person, and I think she has the potential to go down in film history, as a famous bad ass action female star, like Pam Grier and Sigourney Weaver. Unfortunately, her character is not very well developed, and she really does not have sh*t to do in this movie. I never thought I would say this about her, but you could have taken her out of the movie and it would have not made it any better or worse.

This movie I feel like could have been a little bit more original. It feels like so many other movies and television shows we've seen before. Just to name some examples, this movie reminded me of Training Day, The Shield, The Town, and Street Kings.

Overall, in my opinion, this film has a convoluted story, too many characters, it could have been more original, it does have great action, great cinematography, and I love this director. But the script could have had more structure to its surface.

This is the kind of film where you see it playing on TV one day, you have nothing better to do, and you just watch it while doing something else. That doesn't mean it is terrible, because it is not. It's the kind of movie you can watch while preparing a banana and blueberry smoothie put it that way. I believe the film Triple 9 earns a…

6 out of 10!

Speaking of blowing a load early, I'm gonna blow a load a little early because I'm ready to check out of here. Thank you all for reading, and or viewing, and I hope you all have an amazing day as always. :)
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8/10
Reasons Why John Wick: Chapter 2 is a Rare Kind of Sequel
15 February 2017
The opening to this movie is completely bonkers, brutal, and bash*t crazy. From the opening scene, I can tell you that this is one of the best action scenes of the year already. Everything from the stunts, style, and editing are tremendously well done. If you are an action movie fanboy or fangirl, get out your tissues, baby wipes, or whatever and get ready to clean up, because this action packed opening scene is orgasmic to anyone who is a fan of action films.

You can really tell the director Chad Stahelski is truly someone who knows about action films. I actually heard that he was a stunt double on the Keanu Reeves The Matrix film. Therefore, he is someone who knows the art of action. One of my personal biggest problems with action movies today are the stunts and editing. In John Wick: Chapter 2, Reeves looks like he is doing a majority of the stunts. Also, the fight scenes aren't annoying, trendy, and lazy shaky camera work. You can tell what is happening, who is being hit, the location, and how well everything is choreographed. I have not seen action scenes filmed this well since one of my favorite action films, 2014s The Raid 2.

Accordingly, the people who are a part of this crime organization are very cool, stylish, and at times I thought would be a cool world to be a part of. These criminals, and assassins, stay hidden in this deep dark crime filled society. So the film does a fantastic job at expanding on this universe. It really is the rule of narrative, where it is showing us and not telling us, which is a key factor in storytelling. Everything in this world unfolds in action, dialogue, and scenes throughout the film.

Common (Luv, Barbershop: The Next Cut) and Reeves have the best fight scene in the movie. It looks like it was all done in one take. Amazing scene, and once again Common plays a terrific bad guy.

In addition, Ruby Rose (xXx: Return of Xander Cage, Resident Evil: The Final Chapter) is slowing starting to become one of my favorite female action stars. I believe she can actually make a career in cinema as a female action star.

I know we are talking about a world of death, assassins, and criminals. But one thing I have to discuss is how this is a very diverse movie. We get men, women, different races of people, different cultures, Ruby Rose has proudly come out as a lesbian, and this is the type of cast be should be seeing in 2017 and beyond.

Action movie fans will love it. Common and Reeves have the best fight in the movie. In addition, Rose and Reeves have a fight in a hall of mirrors. That reminded me of the movie Enter the Dragon, so there is a lot of throwback sequences to older action films. This world they created is stylish, fun, has mind blowing stunt work, unlike the first film no animals were harmed in the making of the movie, and is everything a sequel should be. Is it better than the first film? I believe they are both equally brilliant. I believe John Wick: Chapter 2 earns a…

8 out of 10!

Thank you all for reading, and or viewing, I hope you all have an amazing day as always, and remember don't just get down, but get Boogie. :)

Review written by - Nile Fortner
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Split (IX) (2016)
7/10
Find Out Why James McAvoy Has Done Awful Things to People, and Why He'll Do Awful Things to You in Split
23 January 2017
He's Coming For You

So the prime plot of the film is, Kevin has so many personalities and each passing day he has more and more trouble controlling his personalities. He abducts three teenage girls, and these teenage girls have no idea where they are. They wake up in a large dark basement, they are freaking the hell out, they don't know why they are there, and they are thinking well damn today I might actually die. These girls are introduced to Kevin's personalities. Not all 23, because that would be too long of a film. However, we do get to meet some very interesting split personalities/identity disorders. When these girls first come across Kevin, they think he is just a crazy man. Five minutes later Kevin comes back, only this time he is wearing a dress, wearing high heel shoes, and speaking in womanly voice. I love the expression the girls had on their face when they first see this. The look of, "Did this man seriously kidnap us to show us his acting abilities? Are we at a dinner theater? Is this what they call improv?" Not exactly, each personality has some plan for these girls. Some dangerous, some not so bad, but all very creepy.

I don't know if this makes much sense, but the real stars of the movie are Kevin's identity disorders/split personalities. You can actually feel James McAvoy having fun with all these characters on screen. This is the role of a lifetime for any actor that wants to show his or her acting strengths and range. Some of his personalities are really intimidating, and others not so much. For instance, we are introduced to a Barry. Barry is one of the 23 split personalities Kevin suffers with, and Barry is a fashion designer. Even though Barry comes off easy going at first, when his psychiatrist Dr. Fletcher has a long conversation with him, Barry slowly becomes unstable and has that awkward crazy stare. So in a way he has personality disorders within his personality disorders.

"My name is Hedwig. I have red socks."

I know this film seems like it has many characters to balance out and sit through. However, we truly do feel a somewhat connection to these characters. Now a majority of people felt something for Hedwig. Hedwig is another personality we are introduced to. Hedwig is a nine year-old mentally challenged boy. Hedwig and Casey form a bond with each other. I thought it was funny and sweet when Hedwig asked to kiss Casey, and Hedwig said, "You might be pregnant now." Hedwig is supposed to be the one character that makes us feel sympathetic for Kevin. But honestly, Mr. McAvoy did such a great job of making all these personality traits feel crazy, it was hard for me to feel that emotional attachment to Hedwig. Really, most people in the theater seemed to love him, but I was sitting there saying to myself, "I don't care if your name is Hedwig, you have red socks, you have a collection of Kanye West albums, you like to dance, and you want to kiss me. At the end of the day, you kidnapped me; you're crazy as all hell, so screw you!" Maybe that's just me though.

Accordingly, Anya Taylor – Joy is easily starting to become one of my new favorite actresses. She has been doing very well, especially in the horror/thriller genre. I would like to see her become a future scream queen in this genre of film. I liked her in The Witch and Morgan, and I liked her character in this film as well. She has a backstory and flashbacks of her father, uncle, and hunting trips that connects to the audience emotionally, and adds to the story. It's her back story that leads her forming a relationship with Kevin.

My only problems with the film are some scenes do drag just a little bit and at times it is the typical fight for survival formula. So these are my Final Bitchin' Buddha thoughts on Split. I think this is movie filled with great tension, performances, and a beautiful welcome back for Mr. Shyamalan. Trust me the twist ending was really good! The audience members at the movie theater were all going bonkers, buck wild, and gaga. No one saw the twist coming. If I were you I would avoid spoilers, because it makes the ending that much better. I won't spoil the ending for you, I'll just say watch one of Mr. Shyamalan's previous films. Is this his best film? In my opinion no, but it has be intrigued to see his next project. I believe Split earns a…

7 out of 10!
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Fences (2016)
8/10
'Fences' Movie Review: Denzel Washington and Viola Davis go From Stage to Studio
30 December 2016
For those who may or may not know, Fences was originally a 1983 play by the legendary American playwright August Wilson. Set in the 1950s, Fences explores the evolving African-American experience, family, the relationship between a father and son, examines race relations, among other themes. The play won the 1987 Pulitzer Prize for Drama and the 1987 Tony Award for Best Play. Fences premiered on Broadway at the 46th Street Theatre on March 26, 1987, and closed on June 26, 1988, after 525 performances and 11 previews. Directed by Lloyd Richards, the cast featured James Earl Jones (voice of Darth Vader, The Sandlot) as Troy Maxson, Mary Alice (Malcolm X, The Matrix Revolutions) as Rose, and Courtney B. Vance (Terminator Genisys, Office Christmas Party) as Cory.

More recently, Broadway revived the iconic play. It opened at the Cort Theatre on April 26, 2010, with limited showing. Directed by Kenny Leon, this time around the production starred Denzel Washington (Training Day, The Equalizer) as Troy Maxson and Viola Davis (Prisoners, Suicide Squad) as Rose, as the married couple struggling with American race relations. The play was nominated for a total of ten Tony Awards, winning three for Best Revival of a Play, Best Actor in a Play (Denzel Washington), and Best Actress in a Play (Viola Davis).

Now that we got that little history lesson out the way. Let's talk about the actual movie Fences, because that's what I'm assuming you are here for. The movie Fences is Denzel Washington's third directorial film. This time honoring August Wilson's powerful evocation of an African- American patriarch in 1950s Pittsburgh. Much like the 2010 play, this film brings back Denzel Washington and Viola Davis in recurring roles. The film focuses on Troy Maxson (Denzel Washington) makes his living as a struggling garbage man worker in 1950s Pittsburgh. Maxson once dreamed of becoming a professional baseball player, but was deemed too old, and at a time when the major leagues did not want black athletes. Bitter over his missed opportunity, Troy creates further tension in his family when he squashes his son's (Jovan Adepo) chance to meet a college football recruiter.

I have seen bits and pieces of the play online, and a couple of things I can say is the play really does a good a good job of allowing the audience to feel sympathy for everyone, and has really good dialogue. It seems like Denzel really wanted to stay true to the original source material. This movie has a lot of dialogue that really brings you into the story. At some parts of the movie, it does feel like an actual play. Meaning, there is lengthy dialogue, not to many scene changes, and the acting is great. I know that may sound boring to many people. But believe me when I tell you this movie has great performances, you feel a connection to every character on screen, at times funny, at times sad, and there are some good life lessons throughout the movie.

Now even though Troy is a tough father, you do see things from his point of view. On the other hand, you see things from his son Cory's point of view. Cory tells his father that he is jealous of him, and he will grow up to be better than his father. Jovan Adepo does an excellent job as playing Cory. In the film he does change. In the beginning he is scared, angry, and you really see all that rage build up inside of him, and when he finally unleashes that rage he might as well turn into the Hulk. So we see things from the father's point of view, and the son.The son wants to defend himself, live his life, and go for his dream. So every character in here you can relate to, even though they do have flaws. That is what makes the characters relatable and feel like real people instead of characters.

Accordingly, this movie really is more about the characters and performances. Everyone does well in there performances, but when it comes to performances Viola Davis takes all the cake.

So these are My Final B*tchin' Buddha Thoughts on Fences. If Denzel really claims his character was so good at baseball, I would believe him, because this movie hits so many home runs for me. It may have a plot we've seen before of the whole family drama. On the other hand, this has amazing acting, especially by Viola Davis. Anyone who has had family drama will certainly relate to this movie. It shows that the cast and crew love the original source material. The dialogue will encourage you, make you laugh, smile, fearful, and it sticks with you even after the movie has finished. In my opinion, the ending was just a little cheesy, but I like cheese. By the 3rd act of the movie, you start to really see Troy Maxson's real personality. So overall Denzel has crafted a movie a majority of people can get behind. I believe Fences earns…

8 out of 10!

If you want to see a real good adaption of a play, you should definitely check this out. Thank you all for reading and or viewing, and I hope you all have an amazing day as always.
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Sing Street (2016)
10/10
Drive It like you Stole It, and Ride With John Carney to Sing Street!
9 December 2016
The first thing I have to discuss is the actual band. It was perfect casting! All the characters in this band feel fresh and like a natural bunch. Usually when adults are writing dialogue for teenagers and or young kids, it does not feel that natural. Meaning, it feels like adults have written for the teens, and it does not come off as a realistic conversation a teen would have with another teen(s). Teenagers talk and act like teenagers. Teenage boys get nervous when talking to a pretty girl, teens do want to express themselves, they sometimes do have the too cool for school state of mind, they do want escapism, and that's exactly what you get with these young characters. I understand that Conor and Raphina are our main characters. However, some of the band members do feel just a little underwritten. Also, one thing that I love is how we truly grow with these characters from scene to scene. It was some of the best character development I've seen all year. For example, this isn't a spoiler but Raphina does not really believe in destiny. Nevertheless, by the end of the movie there is a message on following your destiny and not being afraid of your journey ahead. We truly go on an adventure with this band; sometimes things are serious, sometimes funny, and relatable.

The lyrics are more than just songs that sound good, but when you listen to the lyrics, it helps tell the story and pace of the film, and characters emotions throughout the film. They play a song at the end called "A Beautiful Sea". The lyrics go a little something like this, "Under the waves I feel her pull my body down Under the waves she takes me where I wanna drown Ah, gimme miles away she calls my name She gets into my veins And writes my poetry This girl is a beautiful sea The girl is a beautiful sea". That may be telling us the possible outcome of our main characters Conor and Raphina. I saw one review for this movie that said something about how the songs are just there for a quick dance, clap along, and a nod to bands of that era. I respectfully have to disagree on that. Every song had rhythm, style, well-written lyrics, and helped to tell the story.

All though the story for this film may not be that original, I feel almost like this is the type of film where it is more focused on the characters than the story. The story is a story we've seen many times before. The whole let's form a band, and boy meets girl story has been done already. However, the director of this film is John Carney who is well known for another music film I loved called Begin Again, he really does care for characters in all his films. He understands that characters can't be flat. They have to be well rounded, given depth, goals, desires, and make them relatable for every viewer watching one of his films. You can have the best story in the world, but what good is it if your characters are not utilized efficiently? I feel like with any other director and writer, this movie would have been white bread bland. The best well written relationship here is that between Conor and his long haired, music loving, college-dropout, humorous, brother played by Jack Reynor (Transformers: Age of Extinction, Delivery Man). At the closing-credits, there is a dedication that displays "for brothers everywhere". I can see why Carney had that well written and strong relationship between the brothers in this film. It is a sentimental gesture that feels earned.

So these are my Final B*tchin' Buddha Thoughts on the film Sing Street. It has an awesome message for everyone. A message of express yourself, go after what you want, don't let haters stop you, destiny, love makes us do crazy things, and don't be afraid to follow your heart. It is one of the best films of 2016, and I believe everyone will enjoy this. Really, I can't see one person hating this film. Even if you do not like this type of music, I think you will dig this flick. It's fun, funny, a great message for all, and this movie reminded me of why I love movies so much. Compared Begin Again, this is perhaps not the most sophisticated storytelling. But there's an infectious joyousness to the movie, right down to its fanciful fairy-tale ending. I am more than happy to give Sing Street a…

10 out of 10!

I really do not see one individual walking out this movie upset and saying it sucks. When I was having a conversation with my family and friends, I told them my top favorite films of 2016 are Captain America: Civil War and 10 Cloverfield Lane. Now I get to add Sing Street to that conversation and top favorite 2016 films.

Well I'm gonna drive it like I stole it, because I'm ready to get out of here. Until next time, I hope you all check out this movie. Thank you for reading, and or viewing. I hope you all have an amazing day as always, and remember, don't just get down but get Boogie. :)
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Captive (II) (2015)
6/10
Great start with a not so great ending?
7 December 2016
It starts out really well. With great introductions to our characters and it really brings the suspense and drama. Unfortunately, later on in the film the drama and suspense slowly fades. The actors are spectacular and strong in this movie, but I believe the weakness would be the pace of the film. Our main characters get to comfortable with one another to quickly. That bond between them never really seems to feel natural. The film is a little short, and I believe it could have had a longer run time. Also, the religious aspect that comes into the story feels a little rushed. I think if they stretched out the run time, the drama, the suspense, and polished the script a little bit more we could have had a better movie. That does not mean it is bad, just this movie could have been so much more.
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Yoga Hosers (2016)
2/10
In All Seriousness What Happened to Kevin Smith?
5 December 2016
Now when I first saw the trailer to Kevin Smith's (Clerks, Dogma) Yoga Hosers I was a little surprised. Now for those who have not seen the trailer for this film, and are asking yourself "What the Hell are some Yoga Hosers?" The trailer focuses on the two Canadian girls from Smith's last film, Tusk. Who work at a convenience store, and encounter Nazi sausages. Seriously. When I saw the trailer, my immediate instinct reaction was "What the f*ck?" It wasn't that what the f*ck with anger, it wasn't what the f*ck with confusion, it really was just a simple what the f*ck. Now I love Kevin Smith films. He always seemed like a cool person, he is well spoken, writes scripts with compelling characters and story, and he seems like the kind of guy you could easily talk with. His last film Tusk, in my opinion was his worst film. The films plot was there and it sounded great. What I personally didn't enjoy was the pace of the film and the characters. At least that film had a story wrapped around in it. Most people, including myself love the art form of filmmaking and movies for two main reasons. That being a story the audience can connect to and characters and audience can connect to. In my opinion, Yoga Hosers has very little story, with characters an audience cannot connect to, it isn't that funny, it's annoying, and I personally didn't get it.

I do not know if Kevin Smith made this film to mess with critics, the media, and fans. Or is he just this bad of a filmmaker now? Sadly, out there in the world there really is an individual who has a film script. A film script with story, compelling characters, a story that is a breath of fresh air, and a script that is really written with heart. Unfortunately, we may never have a chance to see it, because Kevin Smith had to bring us f*cking Yoga Hosers.

Sorry Ah-Boot That

I don't know where to start with this film. For God's sake, there is even a Marvel cameo of Stan Lee in this! I didn't go into this movie thinking it was terrible. I saw it on Netflix, went in with a clear unbiased mind, and 80 minutes later I'm shocked. The one good part of this movie is Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp. Those two actually to capture the spirit of Clerks in a way. I found them to be a little funny. But the rest of it is just bad acting and really bad Canadian jokes. They run the same joke into the ground over and over and over and over again. I didn't know it was possible to offend and be prejudice towards Canadians. After seeing this movie, well Goddamn it is possible if you're Kevin Smith. We f*cking get it, Canadians say EH (A) ever so often. When they say about, sometimes it sounds like they are saying Ah- boot. At first it is a chuckle. After that, it is just sad; the whole movie is Eh and Ah-boot!

That damn title card pops up every ten minutes when they introduce a character is bad! It looks like a want to be Scott Pilgrim and Suicide Squad.The cast is talented, but the story and they way it's written is completely ridiculous. Pucky Charms cereal ever ten minutes in your face, terrible Canadian slang jokes, looks like a 1990s video game in 2016, and this is the director of Clerks, Dogma, and Chasing Amy. There is no way in Hell this movie was made seriously, it is clearly a joke. A joke I personally do not find funny.

This film is worse than Tusk. If you enjoyed it, I am more than glad you did. Maybe I just don't get the joke. Kevin Smith's down dude since day one is in this, Mr. Jason Mewes! And even he is in this for two minutes, with the look on his face like yeah I don't need this right now. Really it is a shame, it's a mess, and I will always like and respect Kevin Smith. But recently his work, his legacy, his films have gone so far down the sh*tter I don't think he can cleanly come back up. Sorry Ah-boot that, yeah you should be sorry for this sh*t you call a movie!

I believe this "movie" earns a…

2 out of 10.

Worst Kevin Smith film.
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The Shallows (2016)
9/10
Blake Lively In A Bikini, Blake Lively Is A Bad Ass, A Killer Shark! Now That's Something I Can Sink My Teeth Into!
1 December 2016
So many films nowadays are all trying to have almost the same tone. The tone of we are all serious, serious characters, a dark story and plot, and somewhere along the way, we forgot what it was like to have fun. (Cough Batman V. Superman Cough). Some moviegoers have forgotten what it is like to have fun, be on the edge of your seat, and invest in a simple yet very effective story. There is nothing wrong with a fun film, with adventure, scares, and that lightens the mood, and that is exactly what we get with The Shallows!

Now I will admit, when I first saw the trailer for The Shallows I did not care to see it. I said it looks generic, basic, and the movie is trying to sell us on Blake Lively (Green Lantern, The Town) in a bikini. On the other hand, I decided to give it a go and I will admit I was wrong. The movie has action, a character we can get behind, pulse thundering scenes, beautiful shots/cinematography, and it is all wrapped up in a big ol' bag of fun.

Blake Lively plays a surfer named Nancy. Who is about to have the most violent, grueling experience of her life.

Making a vacation to escape from medical school after losing her mother to cancer. Nancy's travelled south to Mexico to find a secret surf spot where treasured photographs of mom, pregnant and flourishing, were taken shortly before her birth. She is there to pay tribute instead, she finds herself staring death in the teeth. She is stranded on a reef top rock, stranded, injured, fighting, a shark the size of a school bus!

Honestly, that is all the movie is. But damn it really has everything a film could ask for. It has tension, struggle, hopeless circumstances for our main character, and overall more entertaining than I was expecting. Collet-Serra is the director responsible for three Liam Neeson action movies. Such as, Unknown, Non-Stop and Run All Night. He is a very underrated director. He even directed one of my favorite yet underrated horror film, Orphan. But his technique here is a significant step up from those. Between the big action beats, he leaves just the right amount of space for us to imagine, anticipate, and dread what is coming next. In my opinion, the scariest shots in the movie are the shots we don't see. Meaning, when someone is pulled underwater, and you wonder when are they coming up? Just to see dark – burgundy blood rise to the surface of the water. Or when Nancy has that look on her face of "What's going on?"

Also, the movie has a very good color tone and camera shots throughout the movie. The tone starts out so bright, with crystal clear blue water. Then it becomes eerie, sinister, and haunting. The scenery, the waves, and Blake Lively all look so good and mesmerizing.

So these are my final B*tchin' Buddha thoughts on the film The Shallows. It is exciting to watch, has a decent tension, and it holds your attention the entire time. It is a classic like Jaws? I don't think so. However, it is better than all those recent shark movies we've been getting like Sharknado, Sand Sharks, 3 Headed Shark Attack, Jersey Shore vs. Shark Attack, and pretty much any shark movie that goes straight to the Syfy channel. At first, I put this movie in the same category as Bait, and Shark Night, but I enjoyed way more than those films. I believe The Shallows earns a…

9 out of 10!

Thank you all for reading, and or viewing. I hope you all have an amazing day as always, and remember, don't just get down but get Boogie. :)
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7/10
A New Holiday Film Tradition?
25 November 2016
We just got finished stuffing our faces with turkey, pie, yams, macaroni and cheese and stuffing. Before we can even go back for seconds, and pack away some leftovers, we get flooded with holiday themed entertainment. Almost Christmas, is the first holiday themed movie to hit the big screen. It is the latest Christmas film that represents the entire dysfunctional family getting together for Christmas. I know what you are thinking, and the answer is yes. This type of film has been done so many times before. The dysfunctional family ripping at each other's throats, using profanity at each other and by the end of the movie, they are all smiling, drinking eggnog (elf cum just kidding) and singing Kumbaya while looking at a glaring Christmas tree. On the other hand, this film truly does have an all-star cast, the director has improved from his last film, it is entertaining, and this film is a nice way to start the holiday season.

Written and directed by David E. Talbert (Baggage Claim), the film depicts a family coming together for the holidays soon after their beloved matriarch has died. Widower Walter Meyers, played by Danny Glover (Lethal Weapon, The Color Purple), a well-off, retired automotive engineer, hosts the gathering at his comfortable home in Birmingham, Alabama (Even though the movie was filmed in Georgia).

The attendees include Cheryl, played by Kimberly Elise (For Colored Girls, Diary of a Mad Black Woman), Walter's oldest daughter; her sister Rachel, played by Gabrielle Union (Meet Dave, The Birth of a Nation), with whom she has a contentious relationship; oldest son Christian, played by Romany Malco (The 40 Year Old Virgin, The Love Guru), an ambitious politician running for Congress; and much younger son Evan (Jessie T. Usher), who's becoming hooked on painkillers while recuperating from a recent sports injury. Along with other cast members J.B. Smoove, Mo'Nique, Omar Epps, Gladys Knight, John Michael Higgins, and Nicole Ari Parker.

So, the first thing I would like to talk about is the cast. Oh my God, this is a good cast, and it is the cast that makes this movie so much better than what it should be. I know I mentioned how this films plot is something a majority of people have seen, especially in the Christmas genre. But, the cast really lights things up this holiday season (that pun wasn't intended, and if it was it was pretty lame). The real stand out cast members are J.B. Smoove (Hall Pass, The Sitter) and Mo'Nique (Precious, Phat Girlz). Mo'Nique is hilarious as the wig-wearing, ready to fight, drunk, name-dropping Aunt May, who has "performed" for Mick Jagger and Chaka Khan and enjoys imparting all of her wisdom to Walter and her nieces and nephews. I never thought I would say this, but Danny Glover has literally been out performed by everyone! Really, the cast is the redeeming quality for this film. One thing I have to get off my chest is the character Jasmine, played by Keri Hilson. God Lord was that lady fine!

Also, this film is a comedy and a drama. The movie does have some decent laughs, but nothing really very new. The best comedy bits really do come from Mo'Nique and J.B. Smoove, and it is usually through dialogue. The director did improve from his last film, so I feel like he is getting more efficient with filmmaking. Where this movie falls flat is the script. The script is so generic and been there done that type of story, even for a holiday themed movie. Similarly, I would consider this more of a comedy than a drama. The drama is a little bland. Its most dramatic plot elements revolve around Walter's ability to replicate his late wife's sweet potato pie recipe and his decision to possibly sell the family house without informing his children. Danny Glover's youngest son Evan is addicted to painkillers in the movie, and that should have been a little more dramatic. When a pie is more in depth with development and more dramatic than his son being an addict, I think, that is when the script should have some re-writes. Maybe, the son could have overdosed, become more violent towards family members, clutch his chest while singing deck the halls, fall backwards into the Christmas tree and suddenly stopped breathing, anything really. I just feel like that character was underwritten.

So these are my final B*tchin' Buddha thoughts on the film Almost Christmas. The films plot is a little weak, but has a cast that keeps it strong. We get all our usual Christmas movie moments. Putting a giant Santa Claus statue on the roof that doesn't go according to plan, kids giving words of wisdom to adults in need, a character putting his family first and work second, joyful dancing in the living room, and the big surprise at Christmas dinner. I hope I didn't spoil the movie for anyone, because none of these elements in a Christmas movie are new. On the other hand, families will enjoy it, it will get you in the holiday spirit, and I personally had a good time. I am going to give Almost Christmas a…

7 out of 10!

Thank you all so much for reading and or viewing. The holidays are around the corner, so I hope you all enjoy yourselves. Don't worry, after the holidays it is back to work, school, and hittin' the gym to shred off all that turkey weight. I hope you all enjoyed this quick review, and remember don't just get down but get Boogie. :)
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American Horror Story: Chapter 10 (2016)
Season 6, Episode 10
8/10
A.H.S. Roanoke - The Aftermath After Three Days in Hell!
21 November 2016
American Horror Story: Roanoke Season 6 Chapter 10 Review

For its finale, American Horror Story: Roanoke takes us back to the house for one more massacre!

So, the finale of American Horror Story Roanoke was upon us. For those who have been following, in my opinion, the season has been very entertaining. I even mentioned how this is a great comeback for the show, and I how this is the best season since Asylum. Chapter 10 examines the aftermath of the Roanoke TV ,including YouTube videos from super fans and surviving member of the Polk family , a TV special between Lee and Asylum's Lana Winters; a ghost hunting show called Spirit Chasers; various news broadcasts; footage of a panel discussion, and interesting theories.

I have literally loved everything about this season. On the other hand, I did find the ending just a little weak. Also, I find that the show is trying too hard to have all these seasons somehow connect and intertwine with one another (seriously Sarah Paulson plays three different characters!) I like the show within a show vibe. But at some parts I personally got a little confused. It was nice to see Lana Winters again, but I kept asking myself, "Did they really need her back?" Overall, the season was fun, creative, stayed true to its roots of ghouls, ghost, and psychos. The season was a fun ride. I enjoyed it way more than the last season, and I am looking forward to the next season. I believe Season 6 of American Horror Story: Roanoke earns a…

8.5 out of 10!

My Favorite Seasons of American Horror Story in Order 1. Asylum 2. Roanoke 3. Murder house 4. Freak Show 5. Coven 6. Hotel
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Atlanta (2016–2022)
7/10
Peaches aren't the only good thing coming out of Georgia!
10 November 2016
Atlanta is an American comedy-drama television series created by, directed by, executive music producer, written by, produced by, and starring Donald Glover (The Lazarus Effect, The Martian). The series is about two cousins navigating their way in the Atlanta rap music scene in an effort to improve their lives and the lives of their families.

I know this show has been over for a while now, and most people who wanted to see it already did. However, I finally finished all the episodes and I was surprised by the first season. I know there is a majority of people who love this show. It is either one of those shows you want to check out or you simply don't. At first, I didn't really care to view this series. But, once people started talking about how good it is, I decided to take a look. On the other hand, I did enjoy it, but I did not enjoy it as other individuals.

Currently, Atlanta has a 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, so obviously many people are really digging this series. For starters, I think the show is funny. It has that dry kind of humor that not too many people like. For me the humor worked most of the time. Especially the "Justin Bieber" and Montague episodes!

The few episodes of the series feel like a lot of character development, and a slow tide slowly building up. They open on Earn Marks (Donald Glover), lost in his own life and struggling to find some sense of forward direction. With a need to tend to the beautiful, brittle yet sympathetic Vanessa (Zazie Beetz), the mother of his child and to his own deep sense of career dissatisfaction, Earn makes the spontaneous decision to head back to his home turf and play manager to troublesome cousin Alfred (Brian Tyree Henry), who's on the cusp of making it as rapper Paper Boi. Along with Alfred's strange friend Darius (Keith Stanfield). The cast was absolutely a knockout! All the characters get an equal amount of screen time, the feel like real people, and are very well rounded with depth, back-story, and values. My favorite part of the series is definitely the cast. At times characters are really fun, other times weird, and at times serious. The show is a comedy-drama, and believe me there is some serious drama. These characters come across drugs, violence, poverty, racism, sexism, and domestic strife. What's doubly interesting about its strikingly large scope, however, is that Atlanta doesn't feel like an "issue" show. Rather, it naturally folds all of these topics with a comedy twist.

The story is a story we have seen many times, the story from rags to riches. Glover does great in the role, however, Glover doesn't hold a candle to his two co-stars Henry and Stanfield's singular performances stand as arguably the best part of Atlanta. With their fun energy, mumbling, slang, stoned comedic delivery, organic chemistry, and pitch- perfect timing on delivering dialogue.

So these are my final B*tchin' Buddha thoughts on season one of Atlanta. It has a really good cast, excellence performances, the writing is great, and all the characters feel real. Sometimes the comedy works, sometimes it doesn't. It is a very easy, laid back, comedy drama, and I wouldn't mind seeing season 2. I believe the first season of Atlanta earns a…

7 out of 10!

Thank you all for reading, and or viewing, and I hope you all have an amazing day as always. And remember don't just get down, but get Boogie :)
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9/10
Everything is Getting Magical in the Marvel Cinematic Universe
7 November 2016
The Sorcerer Supreme Makes His Big Screen Debut For Marvel!

Can you believe it folks? We have truly come a long way. Can you believe that Doctor Strange is the 14th film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? At this point, you would think that some of these Marvel Studio films would get a little predictable, feel a little stale, and seem like there are no other areas to explore. On the other hand, Marvel has been doing a very well job of introducing lesser-known heroes, mixing up the genre, and finding a way to change up there formatting and still stay fresh. Doctor Strange is the 14th film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and with films like this, I want to say cheers to another 14. This film is the freshest thing Marvel has done since Guardians of the Galaxy!

Dr. Stephen Strange played by Benedict Cumberbatch (The Imitation Game, Star Trek Into Darkness), is a successful yet arrogant doctor. One night, life changes after a car accident robs him of the use of his hands. When traditional medicine fails him, he looks for healing, and hope, in a mysterious enclave. He quickly learns that the enclave is at the front line of a battle against unseen dark forces bent on destroying reality. Before long, Strange is forced to choose between his life of fortune and status or leave it all behind to defend the world as the most powerful sorcerer in existence.

Get Spellbound With Doctor Strange!

For those who may not know who Doctor Strange is, let me drop some quick nerd knowledge on yah. Dr. Strange first popped out of the glorious head of legendary comic book artist Steve Ditko, and comic book legend Stan Lee (a pairing best known for Spider-Man). Dr. Strange appeared in 1963, around the time Harvard fired Timothy Leary and a colleague for conducting experiments with hallucinogens. In interviews, early comic book writer for Dr. Strange Roy Thomas has mentioned that it was trippy visuals, the drugs of the 60s, high on shrooms, hallucinations, Chandu the Magician, Egyptian myths, cosmology, acid, and more that has inspired such a legendary character, that we still love to this day.

Now Doctor Strange may be Marvel's best looking movie, however it is not Marvel's best film. The first thing we have to talk about are the visuals, because this film has some really spectacular visuals. The buildings gnarl and twist like segments of a Rubik's Cube. Balconies become playgrounds, they buckle over and start spinning, threatening to smash down on various characters like a maniacal rolling pin. Gravity flips and shifts with each camera angle as the goons look like inebriated hamsters on a wheel. The basic physics concepts you are used to no longer work in the way you have been taught. It is like watching reality tear itself apart.

The director, Scott Derrickson (Sinister, The Day The Earth Stood Still) has crafted a beautiful world. Filled with color, snazzy visuals, and style. The cinematography is literally some of the best work I have seen out of Marvel. I truly believe that this film could be nominated for visual effects! Similarly, I know many people are comparing the visuals to The Matrix and Inception. Even though it takes inspiration from those films, it is not completely ripping them off. The magic and sorcery are just so enchanting to look at whenever it shows up on screen. I usually like to watch regular 2D movies. On the other hand, I usually would not recommend this but if you can see this movie in 3D you should. This is the type of film you want to see in your face!

Benedict Cumberbatch is literally a perfect Doctor Strange. He looks just like the character in the comics. He is funny (Doctor Strange likes Beyonce), confused, has intellect, arrogant, and passionate. This character is extremely relatable to a majority of people, and that is why we feel something for the character. Before this film started shooting the rumor going around was Jared Leto, Adrien Brody, and Joaquin Phoenix were all considered for the role. In addition, even though all those actors are extremely talented. I am glad they went with Mr. Cumberbatch. Also, in my opinion Chiwetel Ejiofor (Triple 9, 12 Years A Slave) always performs as if he is wanting to win an Oscar. Every time he is on screen, he gives a spectacular performance.

If You Have Seen Other Superhero Films (Especially Marvel) Doctor Strange Will Come Off Familiar

Once again, my only complaint with Marvel is they rush the origin story and have a somewhat forgettable villain. The villains are getting a little bit more well rounded, however, the villain in this movie played by Mads Mikkelsen (Casino Royale, Hannibal), and for someone named Mads he comes off a little easy going for a villain.

So these are my final B*tchin' Buddha thoughts on Doctor Strange. It has a very cool character, it is another great adaption in the M.C.U., it has wonderful visuals, and I think most people will enjoy it. I am more than proud to give Doctor Strange a…

9 out of 10!

Thank you all for reading and or viewing, and I hope you all have an amazing day as always, and remember don't just get down, but get Boogie. :)
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American Horror Story: Chapter 8 (2016)
Season 6, Episode 8
7/10
American Horror Story Roanoke Crossing Paths With Murder House and Coven?
7 November 2016
American Horror Story Roanoke Crossing Paths With Murder House and Coven?

The very first season of American Horror Story: Murder House, in my opinion is one of the strongest seasons of FX's American Horror Story. American Horror Story: Coven is also a very good season. Fans have long been digging into the current season of American Horror Story to find clues between Murder House and Coven. Everything from the ghost, to the ghouls, to the witches to Lily Rabe saying, "You're going to die in there.", and everyone's favorite Pig Man.

Earlier this month, show creator Ryan Murphy said that at some point the TV show would find a revisit "Coven", although there was no revelation on how that would be done. At a panel at EW's PopFest Sunday, Murphy was questioned about this and let loose some more information that is quite fascinating!

Talking to moderator Tim Stack, Murphy explained, "We do know what we're going to do. It's not going to be next season, but we are going to do a season that's a crossover between 'Murder House' and 'Coven' together, which is very bizarre. There will be characters from 'Murder House' and characters from 'Coven' together."

Murphy explained that due to scheduling, this exploration would not be the basis for the show's seventh season. However, it is something that is in the works and he is already approaching stars of the first season to see if they will be interested in returning for another round. Now Murphy has been known to tease his audiences and have fun with all the viewers. I know he mentioned the cross over for a future season. However, maybe it's just me. But, could it be possible that this current season could be setting up Roanoke, Coven, and Murder House all in one?

American Horror Story: Roanoke Keeps Dropping Twist, Excitement, Mayhem, and More in The Eighth Episode!

Chapter 8 of American Horror Story: Roanoke was unpredictable, gory, and just keeps everyone on edge as we get closer and closer to what I think will be a jaw-dropping conclusion! Even though the show is getting close to the end, the show just keeps dropping secrets and amazing elements. I have heard so many people talk about this episode. I have even heard some rumors that the Roanoke House is the Murder House, which somehow became the Coven. That sounds a little far out and random. Call me crazy, but I ain't not hatin' it!

Episode 7 got us a excited at the prospect of seeing the true and much scarier versions of the ghosts spread more horror, this week stepped a little too heavily into Mama Polk's cannibalistic den. Cannibalistic hillbillies is something that should not really be given too much screen time, due to its overuse in the horror genre. For instance, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Motel Hell. What's more is we'd seen it all already; the writers had shown the real Mama Polk prior to this episode, yet they still opted to focus pretty much the entirety of Chapter 8 around her and her clan of cannibalistic misfits. It felt a little like a filler episode with filler material. I personally think this episode should have shown more of the real Butcher or the real Witch of the Woods.

We're still quite a few episodes shy of the end (if this season follows the traditional 12/13 episode length) and we only have a very small handful of survivors remaining, which does make us wonder what the writers will do with those remaining episodes and characters. We also get a surprise guest dressed as Piggy Man.

So these are my final B*tchin' Buddha thoughts on American Horror Story: Roanoke Chapter 8. It is a good episode. However, I believe this was the weakest entry in the series. Which when a show has been this good, that is not a bad thing. Even there weakest episode is entertain! We get and learn a little something about a crazy family, we get some real interesting screen time with the "real" Lee Miller, we get a surprise guest as PigMan, and we all can use more Pig Man in our lives! I believe Chapter 8 earns a…

7 out of 10!

This review is brought to you by Boogie Buddha, and remember don't just get down, but get Boogie! Thank you all for reading and or viewing, and I hope you all have a great day as always! :)
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Motel Hell (1980)
6/10
"It Takes All Kinds of Critters to Make Farmer Vincent's Fritters!"
3 November 2016
"It Takes All Kinds of Critters to Make Farmer Vincent's Fritters!"

Quick Movie Review of Motel Hell (1980)

I have always loved low budget, grindhouse, and low budget horror films. I find them to be fun, funny, and willing to take a risk. I have had the opportunity to see a lot of 80's horror and 80's horror sleaze. On the other hand, I have never viewed the cult classic Motel Hell, until last night. The story is very interesting; the story follows a family that sells "jerky" and sausages to travelers that come through their small town. What those travelers do not realize is that the yummy treats that they are eating contain human flesh! The way they "harvest" their meat is very cool too .They cause motorists to have accidents on the road, and then capture their prey and bury them in their garden with only their heads sticking out of the ground. This is why I don't eat sausages and jerky.

The successful horror comedy is a rare and elusive find. Not only does it need to be both scary and funny, but also it has to blend the two together in almost perfect symmetry. Some of the best films that strike an ideal balance between terror and laughs include Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, Evil Dead II, An American Werewolf In London, The Return Of The Living Dead, Re-Animator, The Cabin in the Woods, and Fright Night. Now that I have seen Motel Hell, I can say this movie is now included on this list.

For me this films plot is enough to get my attention. The plot seems strange and bizarre! At times the film is scary, at times cheesy, other times funny, and comes off like a parody of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Psycho.

Now this is by no means a perfect movie. For one thing, the setup is slow. Also, the acting is bad, it is very low budget and it takes a while for some things to get going. This movie is certainly a movie most horror fans have heard of. If you are a serious horror head, 80's film fan, or you like cheesy movies, this movie should be somewhere on your radar. Other people, I'm not sure you will enjoy it. I'm kind of stuck on what rating I should give this. I know it is a bad film with cheesy elements. However, it did keep my attention and I found it entertaining. Hmmm…I believe Motel Hell earns a…

6 out of 10

Horror fans, 80's fans, and fans of old school sleaze I'm sure will enjoy this. However, if you are not one of these individuals, I do not think you will enjoy it as much.
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American Horror Story: Chapter 6 (2016)
Season 6, Episode 6
9/10
Return To Roanoke?
29 October 2016
American Horror Story Roanoke has got to be the most fun filled, surprise, horrifying, and well thought out season since American Horror Story Asylum. My Roanoke Nightmare is not just a regular horror show anymore. It is a show within the show, within the show, within the… um, let us dig deeper.

In Chapter 6, we come across Cheyenne Jackson's Sidney; he is a visionary reality TV producer who brought a hit to The Network with My Roanoke Nightmare. He is so visionary; in fact, he is already selling the corporate suits on his next project: Return to Roanoke: Three Days in Hell. He will unite everyone who lived in the house with the actors who played them, together again in Roanoke, living in the haunted mansion during the blood moon, a.k.a. "when the sh*t hits the fan!" And this "real" version of the "Roanoke Nightmare" is already about 10 times scarier than the version we've already seen.

In my opinion, this episode was the Kathy Bates hour. She came off as funny, horrifying, and really sick! Kathy Bates' Agnes, who played Thomasin White in the documentary, is the first dramatic re-enactor to offer a talking head interview in the documentary sequel. She gushes over how playing the Butcher was the role of a lifetime but her happiness is quashed when her interviewer brings up a mental breakdown in which she stumbled through the streets of Hollywood deliriously impersonating the Butcher.

Angela Bassett did a fantastic job at directing this episode. She show was filled with laughs, scares, gore, and all that good stuff. It was a good shift for the show to introduce the "real life" people into the show. Sarah Paulson's Audrey Tindall reveals a British accent that is somewhat hokey, like she's doing an impression on Saturday Night Live; but, hey, she's having fun.

The show offers a good twist, and questions towards the end of the show. Will there be a new Butcher? Played by whom? Could it be, dare I say it... Jessica Lange! Furthermore, the twist has provided something of a genre change-up; with the chills of what we have seen before now having the added dimension of the slasher and found footage genre. With the cameras all set up and the actors moved in, a new title card pops up to reveal another major hook for the season. Everything's gone very Blair Witch Project.

It announces that everything we are about to see is merely found footage; the show was never aired because everyone involved died in "mysterious circumstances". Except for one. Who could it be?
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American Horror Story: Chapter 7 (2016)
Season 6, Episode 7
9/10
This show can do no wrong
29 October 2016
American Horror Story Roanoke Chapter 7 featured scare after non-stop scare. And gore. Plenty of gore. I am talking death by the bucket load! I can safely say that "Chapter 7" will go down as one of my favorite installments of American Horror Story ever. It was legitimately unsettling and just plain creepy, on so many different levels. "The bad guy's always the lead on every show. Now let me ask you something else, judgmental motherf*ckers. What's more important than screen time? Huh?"- Dominic played by Cuba Gooding Jr.

Uh, how about your life? This episode was very much a slasher like film. It was killing off important characters one by one by one. And I feel like the rest of the season will be just that, and I am actually okay with that. As long as they keep the story consistent, it is well written, and it stays focused on the amazing story they have created. I do feel like this episode was a step down from the previous episode directed by Angela Bassett. Not that it is a bad episode, but I believe the series can and have done better. This episode marked the return of many Ghouls, Ghost, Cannibals, and Former Cast Members getting assaulted.

So these are my final Bitchin' Buddha thoughts on Chapters 6 and 7. The show has a fresh focus that is starting off well. I like how this show is taking chances, having fun, and more importantly keeping viewers invested. Chapter 7 is a little weak and feels like a filler episode. On the other hand, I can't wait for the next episode! And I think you will enjoy it as well.
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Dark Girls (2011)
10/10
Everyone is Beautiful :)
28 October 2016
The Dark Girls documentary that premiered on OWN was quite the loaded conversation. The film looked to explore the biases and attitudes towards darker skinned women, asking people within the Black community and out of it, their feelings on women with a darker skin tone.

I know this may be an issue most people do not like to discuss. On the other hand, I believe it should be discussed. Many men and women believe that being black is not being seen as beautiful. I believe that is bullsh*t! All people are beautiful and should be seen in a positive light. To all the individuals who say, "I do not like black men or women", and then add the stereotypes onto it. I think you should really get a good history lesson, and think about what you are saying.

The only reason dark skinned men and women are seen negatively, is because when European people enslaved Africans and brainwashed them into thinking they are nothing. They brainwashed them into believing they are not beautiful, they should not be viewed as beautiful, and the lighter your complexion the "better" you are. That mind set has been passed down generation after generation, and I am glad this documentary came out. I personally enjoy all the colors, shapes, sizes, and tones of the rainbow. I do not dare limit myself to the beautiful world around me.

That being said, this is a very good documentary for ALL people. This documentary is smart, informative, sad yet uplifting at times, and makes you want to appreciate all people. This is not just a documentary for dark girls. However, men, women, and children of all races. The most compelling scenes are of women discussing their own childhoods, full of subtle (and not) indications that darker-skinned people are less attractive, and lovable than fairer-skinned ones. Duke and Berry could have made a whole film using more, and more in-depth, interviews like these. Some of the women here might be surprised how many of the men actually prefer darker women, but men on both ends of the spectrum have interesting things to say.

I really wish we make progress as a society, and change a majority of what we consider to be beautiful.

So these are my final Bitchin' Buddha thoughts on the documentary Dark Girls. I believe it is the type of documentary that can literally change the world if more people know about it, consider viewing it, and overall learn from it. I believe documentaries like this should be viewed in school, with parents or guardians, and viewed by as many people as possible. I believe Dark Girls earns a…

10 out of 10!

This review is brought to you by Boogie Buddha, and remember don't just get down, but get Boogie. Thank you all for reading, and or viewing, and I hope you all have an amazing day and night as always. :)
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