alan_holloway_2 Reviews

The Completely Made-Up Adventures of Dick Turpin (2024– )

Two Eps In... More Please

[8/10 · 5 March 2024]

My mind is confused by some people thinking this is a reboot of the old Richard O'Sullivan series 40 odd years ago.

This is simply a daft-as-a-brush comedy based on the same historical figure, though very, very loosely.

Dick (fnaar) Turpin is simply the framework to hang this silly show on, and thus far its holding the weight very well.

Our Turpin is a foppish goth who likes knitting. He lucks his way into being the leader of a Motley highwayman gang and they proceed to get into daft scrapes.

It's a very funny and silly show, with no pretence of realism or historical accuracy. That's fine by me. I'm not a huge fan of Noel Fielding, especially when he goes surreal and weird, but here he simply uses his natural charm and mild eccentricity to great effect.

A real unexpected treat for lovers of daft comedy.

The Honeymoon (2022)

Asim is Amazing

[8/10 · 24 October 2023]

Well, I saw the majority of reviews on here and wasn't going to bother, but the trailer was funny so I gave it a go and am very glad I did.

Basically, this is Asim Chaudhry's.movie and everyone else is just someone to bounce off. His character, Baz, is a well meaning but hopeless loser, full of enthusiasm and wonder but zero self awareness. Asim plays him to absolute perfection and provides every single laugh there is, and there are plenty.

The plot is quite basic but fun enough, and the other actors do a fine job. The humour is, for me, very British, kind of like in The Brothers Grimsby. I think if you liked that movie you will definitely appreciate the comedy here, although it's not nearly as gross.

If you think the trailer is fun, watch it.

Unstable (2023– )

A High For Lowe(s)

[8/10 · 30 March 2023]

I didn't expect much from this, as Netflix don't really have a great comedy record.

From the start it's a quirky, fun watch. From the creator of Better Off Ted it's full of interesting weirdos and a generous amount of very funny lines and situations.

Rob Lowe is great as always, with a character not a million miles from his Parks And Rec one, and his son really does a good job as, well, his son as well as showing some serious writing chops.

Not at all high brow despite the science tech firm setting, this is absolutely worth watching.

Funny, silly and charming. Yes, I know that describes Tob Lowe as well...

The Witcher: Blood Origin (2022)

Great for newbies too!

[9/10 · 8 January 2023]

Enjoyed The Witcher: Blood Origins.

Strangely low rated on imdb, its nice and short at four episodes and not confusing for a change. Nice fight scenes too, which helps when you have Michelle Yeoh in the cast.

It's well made, has beautiful scenery and fun characters who get decent dialogue throughout. I feel any more episodes would have been padding, and it's nice to have a series that doesn't outstay it's welcome for a change.

Dylan Moran turns up and seems was told to have a drink and just be himself, which he does well.

Not based on any books, it's a fantasy action series that can be enjoyed by people who have never seen the main one.

The Menu (2022)

Appetising, but not the banquet it wants to be

[6/10 · 5 January 2023]

Heard a lot about The Menu, where an exclusive island set foodie meal goes horribly off course.

It's quite captivating and well done, but ultimately like the type of food it smugly ridicules, rather less than the sum of it's parts.

One of those that is happy throwing up more questions than answers. Thus smacks of writers having a cool idea but being unwilling to flesh it out. It left me thinking But why? And But how? A bit too much to make it as nourishing as some found it.

It may well be that this is the perfect appetizer for The Glass Onion, a similarly set up movie, but it's no main course.

Excellent performances nonetheless.

Accident Man: Hitman's Holiday (2022)

Fast, Funny and Fighty!

[10/10 · 18 October 2022]

I loved Accident Man, as it was a surprisingly faithful adaptation of the acclaimed UK comic. Scott Adkins was a new one in me, and I thought he nailed it.

The sequel sees Mike Fallon now exported to Malta, where he sets himself up as an assassin for hire. Business as usual ensues until an old acquaintance turns up and he actually has fun for the first time on years. Then, of course, the poop hits the fan.

Similarly to the first film, the main point of the plot is to set up Mike with a series of other assassins, each with their own. Unique and often bizarre style. Best of these is a clown armed with a breeze block on a pole who can't feel pain.

This takes the originals themes and runs with it, giving us a new story rather than the one in the source materials sequel. The fight scenes are excellent, with ridiculously fast action and minimal cuts. Adkins seems to have been born to play Mike Fallon, and excels throughout. It's also quite funny, although the humour is dark, and I laughed several times.

If you want a fun, rather violent action movie that never takes itself seriously then go for it. It knows full well it's a b movie but is very well made anyway.

See the first one beforehand, though, because you'll know what's going on and be sure it's another ten out of ten.

Amazing how good Adkins can be with a decent script and a bit of passion.

Bullet Train (2022)

Fast, funny, furious - loved it

[9/10 · 15 August 2022]

What I liked most about Bullet Train is it's a complex, smart plot that is cleverly fed to the audience a bit at a time so as not to make their heads explode.

The script itself is very funny, like early Ritchie or Tarantino, with the comedy working very well with the violence. The casting, too, is excellent.

It's a real blast from start to finish, and everything happens for a reason, becoming clear as the film progresses.

Brilliant, energetic and smart.

Bel-Air (2022– )

Not a remake, a dramatic update

[8/10 · 1 August 2022]

I'm so baffled reading how people hated this be sure it's not like the original. It's like people can't understand what a drama is.

Bel Air is a drama inspired by the nineties sitcom. Nothing more, nothing less. It is about a West Philly sixteen year old who is sent to live with his hella rich relatives in Bel Air as his life would be in danger if he stayed due to an altercation with a gang member.

There's some great casting throughout, and some characters have been given a personality overhaul (notably Carlton) to give the drama more conflict, which is necessary.

At heart, this is a wonderful update, and has the same core and heart as it's inspiration. It's a bit of a soap opera, but has plenty of decent dramatic beats and gives the whole family decent screen time not just Will.

If you want a decent, engaging African American drama this is well worth your time. If you want a Fresh Prince remake just go elsewhere and stop moaning.

God's Favorite Idiot (2022– )

Solid and entertaining

[7/10 · 22 June 2022]

Whilst I am a fan of Melissa McCarthy, her husband has only ever presented her with middle of the road scripts in the movie world, forgettable but watchable stuff at best.

With God's Favourite Idiot he's actually delivered a good comedy series with interesting characters, not least his own centre stage good guy. McCarthy gets to be her best shouty self but also has proper acting opportunities at times.

I'm an atheist and the religious stuff is well done without being preachy. The whole thing is a very solid series that I wanted to watch all the way through soon as I could. Not hilarious, but light, frothy and fun throughout.

Accident Man (2018)

Scott Adkins- An Undisputed Fight King

[9/10 · 3 March 2018]

Back in the early 1990s a bunch of UK comic creators decided to have a go at doing their own comic so they could control the content and keep the profits. The comic was called Toxic and it was a good idea handled badly. One of the undisputed highlights was Accident Man, created by writers Pat Mills and Tony Skinner in tandem (visually brought to life by Martin Edmund and later Duke Mighten), and it introduced us to Mike Fallon, an assassin whose hits were made to look like accidents, hence the name. Full of violence and black humour, it was a cracking read while it lasted and it was obvious to all it would make a great film. Thing is, no one made it...

Enter Scott Adkins. Adkins is a veteran Uk actor and action movie star. Not just a pretty face and a lethal right foot, he is a professional actor who is also a very good martial artist. Coinicidentally, he has been wanting to make an Accident Man movie since reading it as a kid. Not known for his screenwriting, this is his first attempt (with another newbie writer Stu Small), after putting up his own money to secure the rights. Basically, it's a total passion project for Adkins, and passion is very important when making a movie, right?

First up, I have to say that I loved Accident Man through and through. The plot is taken from the comic itself, although embellished for filmic purposes, as are several characters. For those who get annoyed with film adaptations messing with the source material this is a godsend - this would even bring a smile to Alan Moore's face (okay, that might be stretching it). Adkins himself is pretty spot on as Fallon, and would have been inspired casting even if he weren't otherwise involved. Elsewhere he ropes in stunt and fighting mates like Michael jai White, Ray Park and the impreesive Amy Johnston to bring some of Fallon's fellow hit persons to life. Also in the mix is Ray Stevenson as the owner of the assassins bar where they all congregate and get their jobs. (There's more to the character than this but I don't want to spoil anything). Throw in some recognisable, reliable British character actors and you have a surprisingly solid cast.

As far as action goes, it's all done brilliantly. All the players are experts at on screen (and off) butt kicking, so the level of expertise rivals some of Jackie Chan's movies. The direction eschews the usual Hollywood fast cutting for lengthier shots showcasing the moves involved and it makes quite a difference to the feel of the film. A nice touch is Fallon's voiceover that permeates the film, bringing some very nice humour to the proceedings and mirroring the narration in the comic exactly. The whole thing is very British, very violent and very amusing and very not safe for work.

If you enjoed Adkins in the Undisputed movies this is a must.



If you've not read the comic, it's well worth checking out. If you liked Deadpool you will love this as a more grass roots version (Adkins and Reynolds are quite similar looking, too). If you like guff like Rise Of The Foot Soldier and the like you'll love this for the cockney smack ups and superior plot/dialogue. If you just lik action movies with decent fights you'll love this. Most of all, if you ARE a fan of the comic you have no excuse, as this is one of the best comic to screen adaptaions yet. Set up nicely for a sequel, Accident Man doesn't slip up even once.

The Comedian (III) (2016)

De Niro In Decent Film Shocker!

[8/10 · 25 April 2017]

I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting too much from this one, due to some withering reviews on here and also De Niro's recent track record.

His character, Jackie Burke, is an insult comic who had a hit many years ago with a sitcom. He's good at what he does, but as he nears seventy the work doesn't come like maybe it once did, possibly due to his short temper and habit of always doing his act on everyone he meets.

As the film went along, I found myself genuinely liking Jackie, due to sharp writing and a very on form De Niro. Leslie Mann is also impressive (as usual), and there's a plethora of comedy guest stars who never get in the way of the leads.

Jackie's journey is handled very well, and there's a real progression to the narrative, ending with a sweet, on the nail and laugh out loud final scene.

A really good watch, especially for anyone with an interest in stand up comedy, it's nice to see the nearly living legend return to form in such a nuanced, understated way.

Batman: The Killing Joke (2016)

Not bad, not a patch on the source material

[5/10 · 25 July 2016]

It has long been held that Alan Moore and Brian Bolland's 1988 graphic novel "The Killing Joke" is one of the best Batman standalone tales ever told. A gritty script, coupled with sumptuous art, means it stays in the mind long after it's 64 pages have been devoured. Moore, in typical grumpy style, as said that he 'never really liked it', and found it 'far too violent and sexualized'. Odd quotes from a man who had the final say in the script, but let's be honest he's always been an odd bugger. You won't find Moore's name anywhere in the credits to this brand new animated version, simply because that's what he wanted, happy to see all monies go to artist Brian Bolland.

After thoroughly enjoying the 'comic to screen' animated version of Frank Miller's "Dark Knight Returns", I was still skeptical about this one, mainly because it was never going to look like the comic. Bolland is and was one of the best, most detailed comic artists about, and no way was anyone going to be able to do him justice. As expected, this is in DC's house style, farmed out to the far east presumably to cut costs. It looks as okay as the comany's other output, with slightly jerky animation due to a lack of frames and some nice touches throughout.

Comics stalwart Brian Azarello handles the script, and because the source material is only good for about 40 minutes he gives us a pointless extended prologue involving Batgirl, Batman and a villain who has no involvement or relevance to the main story. Batgirl fans should probably skip this, as it really doesn't do her any favours. Once it gets to the actual source material, Azarello lifts dialogue wholesale, even down to the Joker's "I Go Loony" song. This is not, however, a bad thing, as Moore's dialogue is always a pleasure to read or hear, and for the most part doesn't suffer from the shift to animation.

So this is really a mixed bag, with the first half coming across like a separate episode from the TV series that's been bolted on, and the second half doing a good job of living up to the title. After watching it I felt like I wanted to read the comic again, as it's so much better, something I didn't feel so much after "The dark Knight Returns". Whatever Moore thinks, it's a superbly good read, and will always get recommended over this version. "The Killing Joke" animated is simply an adaptation that wasn't needed, and succeeds mostly in watering down a great piece of literature. There have been a few moans about it's 'adult' themes, but there really is nothing too graphic, although the script does add in a needless extra scene to let you know that the Joker gets horny when he escapes. File under 'watch once then forget'.

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

Bustin' Will Make You Feel Good

[8/10 · 11 July 2016]

Are you afraid of ghosts? I suppose most people would be, but lately it seems that people are much more afraid of reboots, less like reboots and more like big hobnailed boots stomping over beloved memories. 'Ghostbusters' main mistake was a rather unfunny first trailer that suggested that Paul Feig and Melissa McCarthy's team up magic had finally spluttered out. The second trailer was much better, but once the naysayers had grabbed on to the first they were NOT letting go, no siree! So the good news for Feig fans is that 'Ghostbusters' in 2016 is almost as enjoyable as the original. A definite reboot and not a sequel, it nonetheless acknowledges the original with some nice touches and a few well placed cameos that serve to pass the baton. Everyone was well aware that they had some pretty huge shows to fill, and obviously put a lot of work in, with the end result a well acted, well written and technically impressive whole.

Our four Ghostbusters are equipped with the scariest things known to misogynist muppets – female genitalia! They also come equipped with four actual personalities that are very well realized by the actresses concerned. Standout is Kate McKinnon, who seems to be channelling Tank Girl (wait for THAT to be offered very soon) as a very quirky genius, her marvellous face lighting up the screen as the characters weirdness is allowed to play around on it. Melissa McCarthy is quite restrained compared to her other roles with Feig but does her usual stand up job, with Kristen Wiig the sensible one who seems to have been possessed by Jennifer Aniston. Leslie Jones plays the only non scientist in the crew, but comes armed with a prodigious knowledge of New York and a bagful of sass. The icing on top is Chris Hemsworth, who plays their thick as a donut receptionist, showing a nice talent for comedy whilst he does it.

The special effects are what you'd expect from a big budget film today, and the ghosts all look terrific. There's a return for a couple of non human characters that will delight some, and may even bring smiles from the grumpy gits. Children will certainly have a few scares (as in the original), and the script allows for jumps and laughs equally well. Much like the original it has an action finale that by necessity ramps down the humour but even so gives you plenty to cheer for and chuckle at.

So 'Ghostbusters' is a really good film. There: I said it. I'm happy to slate a film if I don't like it (I walked out of the godawful new Ice Age film last week) but for most of this I had a goofy smile on my face and gave a few decent belly laughs. The female switch doesn't matter one jot, it only allows you to see four awesome actresses rather than actors. It's wonderful that once again bustin' makes me feel goooood.

Electra Woman and Dyna Girl (2016)

Surprisingly entertaining

[7/10 · 8 June 2016]

Like just about everyone I'd never heard of the short lived TV series, but decided to give this a go with crossed fingers, having been burned too often by a catchy title hiding a dull film.

The story, about two very low profile costumed heroes stepping up to the big money league, is never too original (except right at the end), but it's saved by a snappy script and two very likable leads. It doesn't take itself too seriously, and there are plenty of laughs in what ends up being a lighthearted romp.

It's not overlong, coherent, witty, well acted and a fun way to spend 80 minutes, especially if you have a fondness for superhero films. You may not rave about it to your friends like you do the big budget blockbusters, but you WILL get them all to watch it, and that's the mark of a good flick.

Sequel please.

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

A superhero film to enjoy, not endure

[9/10 · 29 April 2016]

Unlike a certain other superhero film recently released, 'Captain America: Civil War' is unlikely to polarize opinion. It's a Marvel film, you see, and despite being the relative newcomers to the 'film your own characters' school, they're rapidly risen to top of the class, knocking out hit after hit by simply understanding what their fans want. Civil War is no exception, and is unsurprisingly much more than a 'who would win in a fight between...' punch fest.

Although Cap gets title billing here, Civil War is basically Avengers 3, following directly on from Age Of Ultron. We open with The Avengers kicking are as usual, but again as usual it's impossible to avoid civilian casualties when there's guns and bombs all over the place. One explosion later and the team are basically ordered to become an official task force, answerable to that most despicable of things: a committee. Tony Stark sees the sense in this, whilst Cap doesn't trust people to not have self interest and also to allow them to react quick enough. There's only one way to settle this...

So the scene is set, as The Avengers split into pro and anti factions. To actually get fists flying, however, you need a reason. Enter The Winter Soldier, last seen disappearing after saving Cap in The Winter Soldier movie. With Bucky seemingly to blame for a terrible international incident, Cap decides to grab him before the officials can, setting him squarely against Iron Man, now firmly doing what he's told. Cue stand off...

As I said earlier, this is much more than a simple series of hero on hero scraps, although the main one is a doozy. Not only do we get our usual Marvel suspects, but there's also the introduction of The Black Panther and a certain kid in a red and blue onesie. Both are handled exceptionally well, and you will be gagging for the Black Panther movie by the end, not to mention 'Spider-Man: Homecoming' in 2017. Add to this a nice return to the screen for Paul Rudd's Ant Man and the two and a half hours (yes, really) will fly by.

Much like the last Captain America film, Civil War gives a damn about plot, and a decent amount of time is spent actually having one and talking about it. The Winter Soldier is once again the device that gives the plot momentum, and poor old Bucky looks like he'll never escape his Hydra brainwashing. Whilst it's a Captain America film, Tony Stark and Iron Man are given plenty of screen time as Stark's demons are fully explored, pushing him towards an inevitable showdown. Again, it's a pretty serious film, but unlike a certain other film it finds time to make you smile as well. I mean, who'd make a two and a half hour superhero film without any light moments at all? Oh yeah....

Bold, bright, brash and brilliant, 'Captain America: Civil War' stand up alongside Marvel's other movies, and whilst some have said it's the best yet, I'd say it depends on what you're looking for. The joy of the Marvel movies is that they each tend to have something different, and to compare this to, say, 'Guardians Of The Galaxy' is pretty daft. Suffice to say it's faults are few and far between, it maintains a large cast without short changing anyone, and it's not full of plot holes. Chris Evans remains as perhaps the best piece of casting in the superhero genre, with new Spidey Tom Holland and Black Panther Chad Boseman each owning the screen as nervy kid and moody warrior respectively. Once again, when asked what kind of comic based films work best, the answer is 'make Mine Marvel'. Excelsior!

The McCarthys (2014–2015)

Promising & Plenty Of Laughs

[7/10 · 31 October 2014]

I had to write this after seeing the only other review describing it as 'Homophobic', something it certainly is not.

The McCarthys are a close knit Boston family who love sports, except for Mother and one of the three sons (there is also a daughter). the son in question is gay, but it is never presented as a bad thing. His family are in fact very supportive, even if their support is at times naive.

This is pretty much a standard family based comedy with plenty of laughs and good performances. The family are lovable dopes in the main, and the whole thing is harmless and often laugh out loud funny.

It may well be canceled (you never know these days) but it certainly won't be because some ignorant people think it's homophobic, thankfully.

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

A Beautiful Space Fantasy

[8/10 · 31 July 2014]

It's no surprise that when Marvel's latest movie was released many, many people (the non comics reading kind, mainly) said "Who?" The comic itself has never been what you call top tier, with various incarnations having been around for decades, although the film is based on the team created by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning in 2008, now being serviced by top writer Brian Bendis.

Marvel certainly have made sure the Guardians have plenty of publicity, turning a bunch of also rans into a must see event and even having the confidence to proclaim "The Guardians Of The Galaxy Will Return" at the end of the movie. This is a company with the utmost confidence in their product, and after seeing it it's very easy to understand why.

First and foremost, Guardians... is fun. After a truly heartbreaking beginning everything goes a bit daft, mixing swashbuckling sci fi action with larger than life characters, and whilst at first you may be a little puzzled, it all streamlines into a simple plot soon enough. Basically, Guardians leader Peter Quill (known mainly to only himself as Star Lord) has a plot device, and other people also want the plot device. He forms an alliance with a very disparate bunch of people who each have their own reason for helping him. To go into more detail really isn't that necessary, as all it will involve is laying out a roster of names and personal grievances, and you'll get all that when you watch the film, because if you're reading this review I will lay odds you're going to see it.

The movie looks beautiful throughout, probably thanks to the thousand or so "Digital Artists" who take up a large part of the end credits. Ship design is fantastic, with many looking like they were pulled direct from a Chris Foss art book, and if you know Foss you'll know this is a high compliment. Yeah, the bad guys have dull, dark vessels with inadequate lighting (surely evil needs to see as well?) but the good guys have some sexy vessels indeed. Sound wise, it may seem odd that a 2014 state of the art sci fi movie will have a 1970's chart soundtrack, but the inclusion of The Runaways, Rupert Holmes and, of course, Blue Swede's "Hooked On A Feeling" is completely explained and rather poignant. It would be nice, too, if kids start downloading some of this awesome old stuff and finally start listening to real music (so speaks an old fart).

So in a nutshell this is a very good movie. It's packed with fun and enjoyable characters, but also has it's fair share of down beats and dead beats. Top honours are fought out for between Chris Pratt, excellent and ridiculously likable as Peter Quill, and the brilliant Rocket Raccoon, a purely CGI character stuffed with attitude and some great one liners. The other main characters all do well, however, with even big bag Ronan (no, not the Boyzone one, mores the pity) being well served and very well played with menace aforethought by Lee Pace.

One thing people want to know about Marvel films is what's the after credits scene like? Well, without being spoilery, I'll say two things: one, it's NOT a big reveal or anything like that, but two, it's really funny if you have a knowledge of a certain old Marvel character. Oh yeah, and you get to play everyone's favourite game in the movie - 'Spot Stan Lee'. It just wouldn't be the same without him mugging it up somewhere.

In closing, "Guardians Of The Galaxy" is right up there with the rest of Marvel's cinematic output, making a clear mark by being totally different to anything else we've so far seen. It's Fun with a capital 'F', and engaging throughout. Some of the violence may be a bit much for smaller kids, and there's a bit of moderately fruity language (is 'dick' fruity still? I fall behind sometimes). That said, kids who don't mind a walking tree impaling people or a raccoon murderising people with a kick ass gun will have a blast. Big, beautiful and bad ass, "Guardians Of The Galaxy" is definitely the feel good fantasy of 2014, as evidenced by the grin still stuck to my face. All together now... "I'm hooked on a feeling..."

Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

Kicking ass and taking names...

[15 August 2013]

I suppose it's only fair to start with the admission that I thoroughly enjoyed Kick Ass, both the film and the comic. Although the former diverged in plot from the latter, it kept the energy and humour (as well as the violence) of the source material and tuned out to be a fun movie (unless you read the Daily Mail). For the sequel, director Matthew Vaughan has handed over his duties (including scripting) to relative unknown Jeff Wadlow, a bit of a risk if ever there was one.

As with eth original, Kick Ass 2 centres around the titular character, a mild mannered schoolboy who likes to dress up in a wetsuit and punish bad guys, although he often gets his own ass well and truly kicked (no super powers here, folks). Dave Lizewski (Arron Taylor-Johnson,'Casualty') is the hero's alter ego, and together with the pint sized powerhouse Hit Girl (Chlow Moretz, 'Big Momma's House 2') he sets out to increase his limited effectiveness as a crime fighter.

All is well and good, but as ever life gets in the way. Hit Girl has to start actually attending school and being a (gulp) real girl, and the film handles the Mean Girls-esque premise much more ham fistedly than the comic did. Kick Ass, meanwhile, has tracked down other heroes inspired by him, and joins the 'super team' Justice Forever (fist pump). Meanwhile, Chris D'amico (Christopher Mintz Plasse, 'Marmaduke'), the rich mobster's kid from the first film, has decided to become the world's first super villain. This isn't going to end well… Author Mark Millar has described Kick Ass 2 as the Empire Strikes Back of the trilogy, and this is definitely more true of the comic than the film. It has it's dark moments (one that may just blow away non comic book readers), but I wish the ending had been more true to the book, setting up as it does the beginning of part 3. That said, large swathes of the graphic novel are included, and the basic plot is pretty well stuck to. Special mention must go to Jim Carrey, who plays vigilante Colonel Stars & Stripes. It's a shame he is refusing to promote the movie because of the violence, but I guess that means he's one of those who only reads the bits of the script that they are in! "Your enjoyment will depend a lot on whether you regard murder, mutilation and dismemberment as good, harmless fun," says legendary prude Chris Tookey of the Daily Mail. Well, Chris, I just happen to fall into that bracket and thoroughly enjoyed it, as did the other members of the audience. It's certainly not for everyone, but if you enjoyed the first there's no reason not to like this one as well. More violence, more swearing and even some decent character progression, Kick Ass 2 is exactly what it is supposed to be.

Cockneys vs Zombies (2012)

Night Of The Living Brown Bread - Hilarious!

[8/10 · 24 October 2012]

Okay, so this might reek of cheap cash in, yet another zombie film to follow all the other zombie films that have been put out by zombie film makers to the point where you really don't give a monkeys about zombie films any more. Well, you should, because this one is a real diamond (geezer) in the rough.

To compare this to Shaun Of The Dead would be… well, pretty fair, really. It's another wholly British take on the genre, with the evil undead poppng up to ruin some cheeky Cockney's bank robbery, which they are pulling to save their Granddad's retirement home from demolition. That's basically the plot, and as in most zombie films the rest is all about survival.

There's two sides to the movie. On one, you have the bank robbers, headed by the charismatic Harry Treadaway as Andy, with Rasmus hardicker as his brother and the always lovely Michelle Ryan as their cousin Katy. They're hindered by the inclusion of Mental Mickey, deranged hardcase with a LOT of guns, and general idiot Tuppence, played by Jack Doolan (who you right remember playing a general idiot in Cemetery Junction. ) On the other side of the coin is the boys' Granddad Ray, who is brought to snarling life by Alan Ford, known primarily for his star turn as Brick Top in Snatch. Here he is only slightly more sympathetic, but as usual steals every scene he is in. With him in the zombie besieged retirement home are such luminaries as Richard Briers, Dudley Sutton, Tony Selby and none other than Honour Blackman. Naturally they provide some priceless moments, such as Briers trying to escape a zombie on his walking frame, the two of them moving at about the same speed (these being the classic shuffling zombies).

As the boys fight to get to the home, and the pensioners try to stay alive, hilarity definitely ensues. Even though it's got plenty of gore and violence, not to mention copious swearing, Cockneys V Zombies is a laugh out loud comedy piece. In terms of laughs it overtakes Shaun Of The Dead with ease, although the characters aren't quite as strong. TV scripter James Moran (Doctor Who, Torchwood, Primeval and all that) has managed to get the whole pitch just right, with the laughs taking priority over anything too meaningful or horrible. The squeamish or easily offended will find nothing they like, but if you find the idea of a mash up of Shaun Of The Dead and Snatch an intriguing one, then this wonderful film is a must see. Oh… and it ends with a song about Zombies by Chas & Dave that will stick in your head for days.

Dredd (2012)

A Superior Action Movie

[8/10 · 7 September 2012]

The basic aim of Dredd is simple – it needs to be bold, true to the source material and full of juicy violence, enough to wipe out the memories of the notoriously poor Stallone attempt of 1995 that threw plenty of money at the screen without bothering to work on anything resembling a decent script.

The character of Judge Dredd, now entering his 35th year in UK comic 2000AD (they know it's 2012 - don't ask), isn't a complicated one. He is, as he is fond of stating, the law. The time is the future, and amidst the wasteland that is America there is a single, massive city with 800 million inhabitants, appropriately called Mega City One. It's quite the scumhole, and the only thing that stands between it and total chaos are the Judges, trained for years to be the ultimate in law enforcement, yet so outnumbered they can only handle 6% of the crimes committed. This, people, is as thin as the blue line gets.

The film is written by long time fan Alex Garland (28 Days later, Sunshine), and has had plenty of input from Dredd's creator (and still main writer even now) John Wagner. Filmed in South Africa on what passes for a tight budget these days (especially for Sci-Fi), it could be compared to District 9 in terms of the sheer effort put into it, with a result that is similarly impressive although aesthetically miles apart. Director Pete Travis (Endgame) does an excellent job, and between them they have turned in a film that will stand the test of time as a superior, adult action movie.

The premise is reasonably simple, something that works well as an introduction to what is, in the comics at least, a sprawling future world. Dredd is accompanied on patrol by rookie Judge Anderson, very well played by Olivia Thirlby, who is on the verge of failing her final assessment but is being given a second chance because of her powerful, and rare, psi abilities. A routine triple homicide (it's that sort of city) turns into a siege when they are trapped in a massive tower block by criminal nutjob Ma Ma (Lena Headey) and forced to fight their way out and stop her manufacturing the addictive new drug, Slo Mo. Obviously there's a bit more to it than that, but this is the basic set up and it works very well indeed, allowing for plenty of violence, some character development and no few explosions.

I can't write this review without focusing on Karl Urban, who has previously stood out for his excellent turn as Dr McCoy in the Star Trek revival. Not afraid to go through an entire movie with a helmet on, he is spot on as Dredd. He gives us an emotionless machine, a man who cares for nothing but the law, but a man you want to get behind and cheer on as he splats bad guys left right and centre. The humanity comes from Anderson, and it helps that Thirlby doesn't have to wear a helmet herself, with the handy excuse that it interferes with her psi abilities. Between them they give us the tired old wardog and the 21 year old rookie on the streets for the first time, and you sympathise with the life of a Mega City Judge.

Some people have criticized the apparent similarities between Dredd and the recent film The Raid: Redemption, in which Indonesian cops storm a tower block and much chop sockey ensues. To be honest, I was a little worried myself, but having seen both films I can happily confirm that they are nothing alike. Whilst The Raid is a pretty intense martial arts film which is rather dull between fights (although the fights are awesome), Dredd is a tight film all the way through, with the plot more than an excuse to go from fight to fight.

In conclusion, I can heartily recommend this film, in case you hadn't guessed. It's sort of like a cross between Robocop and Die Hard, all moderned up and with better music. It's no coincidence that those are two of the most kick ass action films ever, and Dredd borrows from the best, although as Robocop stole from Dredd in the first place it's more like recovering pinched property. The 3D is actually worth shelling out for, and there are some beautiful sequences where it comes into it's own, whilst the film itself is gritty and dirty, although not without a few lighter moments amidst the carnage. The humour in Dredd's comic strips comes from the city around him rather than his own actions, and here's hoping we'll see Alex Garland penning a sequel that allows us to wander through Dredd's world. Quite simply a superior action film, and whilst it's no masterpiece (then again, it's not supposed to be) it's as good as fans could ever have hoped. Here's to the sequels

The Rise & Fall of a White Collar Hooligan (2012)

Sweet as a nut

[7/10 · 4 July 2012]

The "Geezer" film has become a staple of the British Film Industry in the last 15 years or so, popularized by the likes of Guy Ritchgie and then carried on in films dealing with either football hooliganism, violent crime, or both.

"The Rise & Fall Of A White Collar Hooligan" doesn't offer us much new, to be honest, but does it's job as well as can be expected. We get your typical footie loving hooligan Mike, played very well by Nick Nevern, who can't get a job in these disparate times etc etc. He's fixed up by fellow footie battler Eddie (an excellent turn from Simom "Jack Falls" Phillips) who introduces him to the world of organized credit card fraud. From here on, we follow his crime career with plenty of swearing and some, but not too much, violence.

It's a good film that builds its characters well, using two of the better up and coming Geezer actors of recent years. the old school is represented by Billy Murray, playing his usual type, but the main focus is on the two leads, who carry the film with style. Oddly, the football element does not sit with the rest of the film, and as it doesn't advance either plot or character could be erased without any detrimental effect to the film as a whole. So, not up there with "Rise Of The Foot Soldier", but worth your time if that's your idea of a good night in.... geezer!

Rock of Ages (2012)

Rock! Rock! Til You Drop!

[8/10 · 13 June 2012]

Right… this really should have been rubbish, to be honest. Mamma Mia for Journey fans, with Tom bloody Cruise of all people pretending to be a rock god. Okay, so it's based on a successful stage musical, but that doesn't guarantee anything. This isn't West Side Story, although to be fair West Side Story would have been improved with a Twisted Sister Song or two.

It certainly gets off to a dodgy start, as Sherrie Christian (Julianne Hough, Footloose) is bussing her way to Los Angeles and starts signing Night Ranger's "Sister Christian". It's horribly cheesy and there were more than a few laughs through the cinema, one of them mine as I prepared for a very long two hours to drag by as my favourite musical genre was ripped apart and stamped on. Bollcoks… Then, as soon as the horrible bus ride is over, it all gets better! Sherrie reaches L.A, falls in love with Drew Bolie (Diego Boneta, 90210), and gets a job at an infamous club The Bourbon Room. Thrust into the mix are club owner Dennis Dupree (Alec Baldwin, lots of stuff) and his sidekick Lonny (Russell Brand, who can't decide if he's from London or Birmingham), along with genuine rock god Stacee Jaxx (some bloke called Tom Cruise) who is to play a gig there. Along for the ride we have anti rock shrew Patricia Whitmore (Catherine Zeta Jones, Darling Buds Of May), who wants to close the club down for good.

Okay, so the plot isn't exactly Shakespeare, or even the bloke that used to clean Shakespeare's toilets (Mr Ploppy), but it's really not the point. This, my friends, is all about the music. We get songs by Journey, Def Leppard, Twisted Sister, Pat Benatar, Bon Jovi, Poison, Whitesnake and more, all performed by the cast. Tom Cruise does a fine job on vocals, as does everyone else, and certain tracks really do bring a tear to the eye as the lyrics match the on screen feelings. I'm just an old softie, really.

The two leads are both charming and very sexy, Cruise plays up the rock god label with total style and not a few laughs, whilst Brand and Baldwin get the best moment in the whole movie, which shall not be spoiled here. Seriously, you'll choke on your popcorn. There's even a spot for Mary J Blige as a strip club owner, and she, too, gets her chance to exercise some great pipes as she belts out Journey's "Any Way You Want It".

Basically, Rock Of Ages should not be any good, but like Mamma Mia before it, it's brilliant if you have a genuine love of the music. Me, I am a total whore for 80s soft rock and I grinned almost all the way through. If I'd had a few beers beforehand I would have been singing along as well, so I'm glad I didn't. If you remember Dave Lee Roth, REO Speedwagon and even Starship with fondness, perhaps still have their tracks on the iPod (Ido), then you will love this movie (and the stage musical, natch). All together now… don't want nothing', but a goooooood tiiime!!! (woo!)

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011)

Flaming Good Fun

[7/10 · 17 February 2012]

Let me say, for the record, that I am a fan of the Ghost Rider comics since i first picked one up back in the 70's. In case you haven't worked it out, I'm old, too, so this isn't a kids eye view you're getting here.

The first Ghost Rider movie did plenty right, but also a fair bit wrong, and I get the feeling that the people involved in GR:SOV are trying to bring more of the feel of the comics to the screen.

This may not have an adult rating, but there's plenty of death and destruction, although as it's mainly 'fantasy' violence (such as bad guys getting splattered into ashes by Ghostie's chains) I guess they didn't tick too many of the censor's 'naughty' boxes. It might be too much for younger kids, though, so don't say you weren't warned.

Plotwise, nothing gets too complicated. The agent of the Devil who made the original 'deal' with Johnny Blaze, Roarke, made another deal with a desperate, near death young woman, and fathered her child. Now the child, who is half demon, is thirteen, Roarke will pour himself into his body at the anointed time (there's ALWAYS a prophecy, huh?), which will be strong enough to contain him indefinitely (his human body isn't strong enough for his awesomeness, or something) and 'cast a shadow over the earth'. Nasty... and guess who has to stop him (in a rather Terminator 2 way, actually).

There's more, of course, including an actual decent villain this time round in the shape of Johnny Whitworth. Nic Cage plays Blaze as a man always trying to contain the rider, meaning he gets to do his 'I'm mad, me' act, the one he loves so much, although at least this time the character is straightforward and more fun for it. There's some nice little voice overs explaining the back stories of Blaze and the Rider himself, with nice comic graphics along the way. I won't ruin the ending, but I actually sat there and hoped for another sequel, as the Ghost Rider is given a whole new dimension.

So we have a basic but decent horror plot, good acting, excellent action sequences and a satisfactory ending. It's not perfect, and can drag a bit at times, but it's a solid, entertaining horror romp that sits up and begs for a follow up. As far as the 3D is concerned, don't go out of your way, as it's rarely more than functional.

To Be Fat Like Me (2007 TV Movie)

A Big Fat Surprise

[8/10 · 25 January 2012]

This really should not have been as good as ii is. The premise is pretty cool, but it was always going to be an upward struggle against being over sentimental and just plain sappy.

Well, "To Be Fat Like Me" manages to avoid most of the clichés with a deft sidestep or two. The main reason is the excellent casting, especially the lead, Kaley Cuoco, who will be the main reason for many people seeking this out. She is spot on for the part, and turns in a great performance, as does everyone around her.

We know that fat people can have a hard time, especially in school, and whilst there's no great revelations on this front, the film handles the issue with sensitivity and intelligence, coupled with a first class script. You may have come for the chick from Big bang Theory, but hopefully you will leave with a smile and a few more positive thoughts towards the larger members of our society.

The Greening of Whitney Brown (2011)

Fluffy But Fun Teeny Dramedy

[7/10 · 20 January 2012]

I didn't really expect much of this film, but liked the trailer. I am an odd 40 plus man who enjoys fluffy teen movies and romcoms when I'm in the right mood, so this looked like it might be fun.

Ya know what? It IS fun. The title character could so easily have been a brat, and even at the beginning when she is little miss rich girl she comes across as likable, and I feel this is due to very good casting with a girl who is sweet but not at all sexual or threatening.

The basic storyline isn't exactly rocket science, and only differs from similar movies because it has a very lovely horse in it, not to mention the ever reliable Kris Kristofferson. The film is made through the top notch casting, the bubbliness of the lead actress and the delightful way it flows along without asking too much of the viewer or getting at all dull.

Watch the trailer, and if that makes you curious give it a go, because it's a good film that should suit the whole family.