MOVIES THAT WILL SURELY GET YOU LAID*
by Cursing_Parrot | created - 21 Dec 2013 | updated - 21 Dec 2013 | Public*Offer not good in Arkansas; I'm sorry, you're just not good looking.
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1. The Notebook (2004)
PG-13 | 123 min | Drama, Romance
An elderly man reads to a woman with dementia the story of two young lovers whose romance is threatened by the difference in their respective social classes.
Director: Nick Cassavetes | Stars: Gena Rowlands, James Garner, Rachel McAdams, Ryan Gosling
Votes: 620,624 | Gross: $81.00M
Look at me. Hey! You can do this, okay? You can make it through the whole thing. Look at me! Yes you can! If it makes you feel better, they die at the end.
2. E.T. (1982)
PG | 115 min | Adventure, Family, Sci-Fi
A troubled child summons the courage to help a friendly alien escape from Earth and return to his home planet.
Director: Steven Spielberg | Stars: Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Peter Coyote, Dee Wallace
Votes: 437,753 | Gross: $435.11M
Don't be afraid to cry in front of her. And this will make you cry in a way that makes you look like the sensetive dude you are. And if she's turned off... Then she's bad news to begin with. It's ET for crying out loud!
3. Thelma & Louise (1991)
R | 130 min | Adventure, Crime, Drama
Two best friends set out on an adventure, but it soon turns around to a terrifying escape from being hunted by the police, as these two women escape for the crimes they committed.
Director: Ridley Scott | Stars: Susan Sarandon, Geena Davis, Harvey Keitel, Michael Madsen
Votes: 173,327 | Gross: $45.36M
Its about female empowerment you fool! Also it's good. But the ace in the hole is that guy. You know what guy. Don't play that game buddy.
4. Charlie's Angels (2000)
PG-13 | 98 min | Action, Adventure, Comedy
Three women, detectives with a mysterious boss, retrieve stolen voice-ID software, using martial arts, tech skills, and sex appeal.
Director: McG | Stars: Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, Bill Murray
Votes: 196,375 | Gross: $125.31M
I don't know why. It worked for me. Maybe because it was so crappy that we just needed to entertain ourselves instead.
5. Scream (1996)
R | 111 min | Horror, Mystery
A year after the murder of her mother, a teenage girl is terrorized by a masked killer who targets her and her friends by using scary movies as part of a deadly game.
Director: Wes Craven | Stars: Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Skeet Ulrich
Votes: 388,691 | Gross: $103.05M
No no. Keep the mask on.
6. Titanic (1997)
PG-13 | 194 min | Drama, Romance
A seventeen-year-old aristocrat falls in love with a kind but poor artist aboard the luxurious, ill-fated R.M.S. Titanic.
Director: James Cameron | Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates
Votes: 1,281,282 | Gross: $659.33M
Okay, so it's three plus hours. This gives you plenty of time to close the deal. And you're gonna wanna do so by then, because the underlying point of the movie is that actual romance is the the ultimate in unattainableness. But fear not, the sketching scene and the car scene are good aphrodisiacs. And if that fails, just do Billy Zane imitations.
7. Big (1988)
PG | 104 min | Comedy, Drama, Fantasy
After wishing to be made big, a teenage boy wakes the next morning to find himself mysteriously in the body of an adult.
Director: Penny Marshall | Stars: Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins, Robert Loggia, John Heard
Votes: 240,115 | Gross: $114.97M
Show her your inner child. Then make her spank him.
8. Goodfellas (1990)
R | 145 min | Biography, Crime, Drama
The story of Henry Hill and his life in the mafia, covering his relationship with his wife Karen and his mob partners Jimmy Conway and Tommy DeVito.
Director: Martin Scorsese | Stars: Robert De Niro, Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci, Lorraine Bracco
Votes: 1,258,208 | Gross: $46.84M
Um, because it's Goodfellas and it's effing awesome, okay?!
9. Grease (1978)
PG | 110 min | Comedy, Musical, Romance
Good girl Sandy Olsson and greaser Danny Zuko fell in love over the summer. When they unexpectedly discover they're now in the same high school, will they be able to rekindle their romance?
Director: Randal Kleiser | Stars: John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, Stockard Channing, Jeff Conaway
Votes: 300,746 | Gross: $188.76M
We're gonna file this under the "because I'm desperate that's why!!"
10. Notting Hill (1999)
PG-13 | 124 min | Comedy, Drama, Romance
A set of circumstances makes Anna Scott, a famous actress, fall in love with William Thacker, owner of a bookstore in Notting Hill. But the paparazzi's fascination with her complicates their bond.
Director: Roger Michell | Stars: Hugh Grant, Julia Roberts, Richard McCabe, Rhys Ifans
Votes: 342,489 | Gross: $116.09M
Look, why should you be putting so much effort into this. Why not let Hugh Grant do some of the lifting? Put your feet up and do the yawn move. While you're at it, actually yawn.
11. Ghost (1990)
PG-13 | 127 min | Drama, Fantasy, Romance
After a young man is murdered, his spirit stays behind to warn his lover of impending danger, with the help of a reluctant psychic.
Director: Jerry Zucker | Stars: Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Whoopi Goldberg, Tony Goldwyn
Votes: 236,100 | Gross: $217.63M
I know what you're thinking. "Hey, if I'm gonna watch a Swayze movie with her, it's gonna be where he's a bank robbing surfer or a bar bouncer that crushes the iron fists of small hick towns. Or a wolverine." I mean how else is she gonna see YOUR inner Swayze? Well, stop it. Stop. Suck it up champ and let him cast his spell, Swayze style. Speaking of which...
12. Dirty Dancing (I) (1987)
PG-13 | 100 min | Drama, Music, Romance
Spending the summer at a Catskills resort with her family, Frances "Baby" Houseman falls in love with the camp's dance instructor, Johnny Castle.
Director: Emile Ardolino | Stars: Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey, Jerry Orbach, Cynthia Rhodes
Votes: 256,581 | Gross: $0.62M
See #11
13. The Wedding Singer (1998)
PG-13 | 97 min | Comedy, Music, Romance
Robbie, a singer, and Julia, a waitress, are both engaged, but to the wrong people. Fortune intervenes to help them discover each other.
Director: Frank Coraci | Stars: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Christine Taylor, Allen Covert
Votes: 162,385 | Gross: $80.25M
Yeah. I don't get it either. Such are the mysteries of the universe.
14. Gran Torino (2008)
R | 116 min | Drama
After a Hmong teenager tries to steal his prized 1972 Gran Torino, a disgruntled, prejudiced Korean War veteran seeks to redeem both the boy and himself.
Director: Clint Eastwood | Stars: Clint Eastwood, Bee Vang, Christopher Carley, Ahney Her
Votes: 815,270 | Gross: $148.10M
Seems kinda outta left field, right? Yet not really. Not when you think about it.
PS. Don't think about it.
15. Drive (I) (2011)
R | 100 min | Action, Drama
A mysterious Hollywood action film stuntman gets in trouble with gangsters when he tries to help his neighbor's husband rob a pawn shop while serving as his getaway driver.
Director: Nicolas Winding Refn | Stars: Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Bryan Cranston, Albert Brooks
Votes: 704,871 | Gross: $35.06M
This is a win-win. The movie rocks, and it's got the dude from The Notebook. You're welcome.
16. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)
PG-13 | 116 min | Comedy, Romance
Benjamin Barry is an advertising executive and ladies' man who, to win a big campaign, bets that he can make a woman fall in love with him in 10 days.
Director: Donald Petrie | Stars: Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey, Adam Goldberg, Kathryn Hahn
Votes: 270,260 | Gross: $105.81M
I know, I know. Why not just snort Comet off Grandmas belly? That should be as equally excruciating. But, and this CAN go awry mind you, she at some point will realize that she HAS to do you. She owes it to you. Yes, I'm saying this movie is so bad it's essentially a pimp. Which makes it sound cool. And it's not. It's bad.
17. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
R | 83 min | Horror
Five friends head out to rural Texas to visit the grave of a grandfather. On the way they stumble across what appears to be a deserted house, only to discover something sinister within. Something armed with a chainsaw.
Director: Tobe Hooper | Stars: Marilyn Burns, Edwin Neal, Allen Danziger, Paul A. Partain
Votes: 183,780 | Gross: $30.86M
Because chicks dig the bad boys. And he's a bad boy.
18. Top Gun (1986)
PG | 109 min | Action, Drama
As students at the United States Navy's elite fighter weapons school compete to be best in the class, one daring young pilot learns a few things from a civilian instructor that are not taught in the classroom.
Director: Tony Scott | Stars: Tom Cruise, Tim Robbins, Kelly McGillis, Val Kilmer
Votes: 502,963 | Gross: $179.80M
I never said this list had to be guy/girl. This movie actually works for all preferences. It's universal that way.
19. Twilight (I) (2008)
PG-13 | 122 min | Drama, Fantasy, Romance
When Bella Swan moves to a small town in the Pacific Northwest, she falls in love with Edward Cullen, a mysterious classmate who reveals himself to be a 108-year-old vampire.
Director: Catherine Hardwicke | Stars: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke
Votes: 487,793 | Gross: $192.77M
The movies on. You look at her. She looks at you, but you look away. She looks at Edward. Edward looks at Bella. Edward looks away. Bella looks away. You look at her. She looks at you. You smile. She smiles. She looks away. She looks at Edward. Edward looks at Bella... It goes on like this for a while.
20. The Prince of Tides (1991)
R | 132 min | Drama, Romance
A troubled man talks to his suicidal sister's psychiatrist about their family history and falls in love with her in the process.
Director: Barbra Streisand | Stars: Barbra Streisand, Nick Nolte, Blythe Danner, Kate Nelligan
Votes: 19,754 | Gross: $74.79M
Okay, I haven't seen this one. I haven't seen a few of these. Maybe that's why I don't get much action. Huh.
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