DuskShadow Reviews

Not Another Church Movie (2024)

Pretty Much How the Madea Movies are NGL, but Crummier

[4/10 · 13 May 2024]

We all seen em, we may have even laughed because of the jokes in em...but the world has to realize, that the majority of the Madea movies are some of the worst things to happen to cinema since the old blacksploitation films of he 1960s and 1970s.

But thye are supposed to be comedy, so the irony i that its supposed to be ok when a movie is low brow, low quality, and just overall low class. That being said...This "church" movie, though occasionally funny at ties...paled in comparison to the Madea stuff.

But again, ti reiterate...they are basically the same. This film simply uses PURE parody to tell it like it is, and point out all the nonsense in Tyler Perry's films. And its not the first film to try to do so, because clearly there are tons of people out there that either never liked the films, liked them at one point but began to hate them, liked some of them but hated the rest, or whatever...

End of the day, we need parody when a big film series gets too big for its britches. This was maybe a 4/10 at best, which, though a low rating...is sill close to the average 5.5/10 rating for the BETTER Madea films. Lol Honestly dont get how Tyler Perry became so successful with selling his soul lol.

Immaculate (2024)

More Boring Than Actual Church

[4/10 · 23 April 2024]

I really mean that. At least in church you could take part in the singing, or take in the sights of the artwork, designs and overall atmosphere at your own pace.

This movie was not just predictable, it was so boring that I was HOPING for something to happen that was supernatural, or at the very least super creepy.

BUT I WAS LET DOWN EVERY TIME!

The flick had the chance to really push for something more sinister and scary, but it felt like some quasi european/american combo project that had all the wrong moves and angles made because of "too many cooks in the kitchen" aka too many different people putting their own touches on things too often. I dunno. The movie was just a touch too bland for my taste. ANd I dont even expect much from modern horror, let alone modern entertainment of any kind. 4/10.

Batman & Bill (2017)

An Honor To Know MOre About An Unsung Hero

[8/10 · 12 March 2024]

I now recall seeing e name of Bill Finger at the end of the Batman vs Superman Dawn of Justice film, but didnt remember the name until after I saw this video. I might have seen it again in THE Batman or the Justice League movie that released before that, maybe even looked it up, but this documentary solidified that mans efforts and the legacy they lead to. No doubt Bill Kane of course still was a major contributor to the creation of Batman and other characters, but surely just because of a shady lil clandestine handshake, Bill Finger should not have gone years without royalties, or at least proper recognitions.

We are not talking about ghost writers of periodicals, magazine articles, or little additions to biographical works...we are talking about the man whom quite literally wrote most of, if not almost all the nuanced information that made Batman whom he would be. And thats on top of the multitude of other characters that already were birthed into being in those first halcyonic years of the caped crusders existence. I have seen some reviews from people lamenting " Oh give Kane his due" or "Well Finger was just a ghost writer, blahblah"...well Bob Kane lied a lot, to the detriment of his friend and his friends family for decades afterwards. The money that could have been gotten from the royalties that should have been due to at least the estate of Bill Finger long ago, were a long time coming...And no, im not "giving the finger" to Bob Kane. And no jokes about "raising Caine" because the names not even the same to be a proper pun. But the man did screw over his buddy. BIG TIME. But still Bob kane did have a good hand in making the DRK Knight come to life as well.

Yet Having worked with close friends in the past that also took advantage of my works without rightm and the fact that some of my own elders have begun to pass away very recently, this documentary was doubly impactful...not to forget that I also grew up liking Batman. From the first comics, to the 1989 movie I saw in Theatres as a 3 and a half year old, the the other movies, games, comics I got more into, and the Batman animated series and toys, the character had a deep impact n me for much of my formative years. Wasnt my fav character by middle school, but I always came to theatres to eventually see the latest Bat flick. And now, when others see the films, on whatever device or wherever...Bill Finger shall at least finally get his accolades. Much deserved, overdue, but I guess better late than never. And props to the man that was the true detective in making this all come to light. Blessings. 8/10 for this worthwhile documentary.

Oppenheimer (I) (2023)

Boring Attempt to Create Sympathy For A ''Villain"

[3/10 · 12 March 2024]

And lets be real...Oppenheimer, despite his personal misgivings and nature, as a result of his works...was a villain of sorts. As the old saying goes "Some of the worst things in history were done with the best of intentions", and indeed even if his intentions were good, he clearly knew nothing of human nature or the times he lived in, and callously lent his hand to the works that would end up creating the most destructive types of weapon ever known to mankind. There was honestly no good reason to create such a film, and it seemed to be almost forming a sympathetic portrayal of Oppenheimer, which we just dont need any more than we need similar portrayals of the other screw ups throughout history. The film was also boring too. There was little to hold my attention, and from the numerous other people saying the same thing, this movie was a travesty on multiple levels and should NEVEr have won oscars. The whole industry is in decline as are other forms of entertainment these last couple years. And like hte Oscars, it all just a joke. 3/10 film. Man it was boring ffs. *smfh.

Humorous Phases of Funny Faces (1906)

A Treat To See The First Supposed Animation EVER!

[7/10 · 22 January 2024]

Well I dont know how I missed this one, but even if I did see it once before, I just saw it "again" and it was actually pretty decent. A short bit of simply drawn animation that is a MUST See for all people.

How nice to see not only the first American animation, but this was supposedly the first bit of animation ever anywhere! And though I find that hard to believe considering all the worlds fairs and inventiveness of even the late 19th century, most seem to agree that this 3 minute film was before all others.. Even proceeding what some claim was the first Japanese "anime" of a 3 second clip from roughly the 1907-1910. But Humorous Phases of Funny Faces beat em all, being made in 1906 by J. Stuart Blackton (1875-1941).

Born in Britain, Blackton first arrived in the US at the age of 10 when his family moved there from Sheffield. After a chance meeting with Thomas Edison, he founded the American Vitagraph Studio with fellow British émigré Albert E. Smith, making comic shorts which the pair utilized as part of their vaudeville stage acts. In this way, Blackton made the 3-minute long Humorous Phases of a Funny Face in 1906 ( from the 2004 article: Pioneers of Japanese Animation at PIFan - Part 1, found on the website "Midnight Eye.com").

The pioneering animation can be watched simply, easily and for free on the Library of Congresses' youtube page. BE well ^<^

American Made (2017)

A Very "Amaericanized" Tale of a Fool that Helped Kill people North and South

[6/10 · 6 December 2023]

Every since movies like Carlitos way, Scar Face, and especially Blow, Hollywood has tried to get the fire burning again for a big drug/cartel type film. One that could generate millions with its awe inducing illusion that its about anything more than greedy minded, drug running bull mess. Sure there have been other movies in the same sub genre, but far too often the protagonists, just like in American Made, were just run of the mill people that didnt have to take part in such activities, they chose to, despite already living fairly easy going, normal, drama free lives.

But then you look at films like Empire, where the main characters are mostly people that grew up poor and had little other recourse than to get involved in drugs, as there was virtually zero upward mobility in their urban communities and lives all around.

Not to excuse what they did, but perspective is key in this life to really see the full picture of the "whys" and the "hows" of things.

The main character, Barry Seal(s), in American Made, was already living a very comfy, well paying career as a commercial airline pilot, with a family that was easily able to liveo n the good amount of money he brought in since they dwelt in the southern states in the 1970s ( ITs still affordable even to this day tbh). The man didnt need to get into al lthe mess he did, and there were times he could have pulled out. BUt he got greedy, and bored, and like many apathetic westerners that want it easy, they dont care whom they screw over in the process of "getting their own". And no doubt that predeliction for self centered devil may care pursuits of happiness are not wholly unique to us in the west, we cant lie to ourselves either. Our government and much of our society from top to bottom has either taken par in or been complacent in the sheer subjegation and torment of those not like ourselves, especially in Latin America over the last 200 years.

Suffice to say, this film does nothing to show the detrimental effects of what the drugs and arms, and overall amrican nosey busy body minded shenanigangs of our government have dont to people south of the border. Especially in central America, and ESPECIALLY in Nicaragua the scorched earth policies, and near genocidal attitudes used against those people was in many ways as bad if not at times worse than what the USA did in Vietnam.

Sure this was a somwhat entertaining movie, but it also told a story abotu the truth , much of it was in fact very true; the Sandinistas were not commies, were not involved with drugs and terrorism, the Contras and American soliers that were always invading were.

It almost felt like American Made was just trying to muddy the issue, while at other itmes desperately trying to show people the truth of what happened, without thedirectors and writers having men in black show up at their front doors at 2 in the morning as a result of this movies existence. Hollywood is as rife with lies and agendas most foul and dark as government and religion and banking etc.

If nothing else, have a good time watching a movie about nothing but drugs and nonsense. Its a Tome Cruise movie so thats most of what hes been involved in throughout his career. But take to heart the fact that the character of Barry Seal(s) was but one of countless money men, drug traffickers, gun smugglers, spies, liars, murderers, thugs, thieves, blood thirsty politicians and soldiers, and all around racist, jerky people to put it mildly, in America and certain central american countries that hated Nicaraguans, and tried to kill as many as possible while attempting to take over the country for "uncle sam" throughout most of the 20th century. All this crap didnt just begin in the 1970s or 80. It all goes back to when Taft was US PRez a few years before the first world war, and continued on and off almost every decade. And still the poor country of NIcaragua is has been messed with by America in the 21st century. So have a laugh, zone out at this Hollywood fable. And try to research the truth if your able. PE@ce.

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

Pooh Bear Dont Take No...Pooh

[4/10 · 11 October 2023]

Or "How To Kill A Childrens Story Loved by BILLIONS".

Or "How to Epitomize The Decline of Modern Times"

Cause lets face it: Modern Times kinda suck and have for a good number of years, going back into the 2010s. Yet despite the abject failure of much of the world, humanity, and entertainment in general in most genres and franchises, this movie at least set out to fulfill its promise of being a slasher revolving around the titular character. THat being said, it wasnt terrible tbh.

The location was a fairly nice track of wilderness, the masks worn by the "animals/killers" were actually decent. Oh and I didnt really notice any CGI It was all practical affects aside from some dripping blood or other effects here and there.

IT really stuck to the mythos of the beloved childrens characters for the most part, and the sets they constructed seemed like they could have just been peoples camping grounds in their backyard, as much as where the killer animals dwelt. The story in theory is haunting and disturbing, not just for spitting int he faces and collective memories of a cherished, pristine, once untouchable franchise, but the way they explained the "WHY" of the film.

The lighting was good, especially at night, the flame effects and a lot of the gore and makeup was spot on. Honestly I give a lot of props to most of the actors like the dude that plays Christopher Robin, Pooh, and some of the gals and others in the movie. IT was basically just about killing innocence, but wow did it go the full 9 yards to do so.

If not for the parts of me that were kinda offended by the thought of Pooh BEar and Piglet being murderous, rampaging, stalker eaters of people, I might have given this a halr score or more higher rating. As it stands, its a 4.5 for what they did to poor Winniw The Pooh. An where the hell was Tigger and Owl?

Pooh was HUN-GRY FFS lol 4.5/10 ( but again might have been a 5.5 for the acting which was ok, but thos effects were pretty enjoyable, as was the scene craft and props.) MAKE A SEQUEL! B MOVIES ARE BACK! Lol ( Or is this what I call a "C Movie"? Hmm) Oh Bother... :P Happy Shocktober.

Transsiberian (2008)

The World Keeps Spinning, But Stupidity Keeps Winning

[4/10 · 24 September 2023]

What an utter MESS of a story.

And the worst part is how plausible it could be.

I have known some stupid people in my life; the crass, the lame, the feeble minded, lame brained, moronic, idiotic, unaware, flippant, bored, useless human beings. And the characters in this film have to be some of the "best" examples of those previously mentioned low "qualities". I havent seen such dumb people in a serious film this side of a cheesy C grade horror flick in a looong time. And I hope I never do again.

Bad enough the couple decide to go a trip to Siberia, Russia of all places, but it only gets worse from there. Going was the first dumb decision. Actually, maybe getting married to each other was the first mistake. The husband played by Woody Harrelson was simple and lame enough, but the wifes character took the cake.

She was so out of pocket that every move she made led things from bad to worse. To be honest, I wanted to stop watching the movie, but I have to finish what I start. My own brand of idiocy, I suppose. And yet every time the characters in this film kept making bad decisions, it just reminded me of far too many times where stupid decisions I have seen people make led to worsening consequences for all involved. I swear I was getting headaches and flashbacks from all the fools I have known. And all just from experiencing too many situations where idiocy led to drama. Drama that sometimes led to things they shouldnt have. Thankfully, it was never quite as bad as the story in this film or I might have lost my mind from being around such endlessly lame and dumb people. But it was close enough that Transiberian was making me hate it every second of the way.

This movie was just a typical American misadventure tale about stupid people doing stupid things and others suffering for it. 4/10.

Insidious: The Red Door (2023)

The BoRED Door

[5/10 · 9 September 2023]

Enter into a world...of UNORIGINALITY MWHAAHAHA!

Because once again that is exactly what has occurred to.another once beloved franchise. This movie really did not need to be made. Not as it was presented at least. Having the son from the original films, even if it was the same kid from the first 2 films all grown up...it was pointless. HE was a big brat, the family was a wreck and totally in denial of basic facts of their lives and life itself that just got glossed over hard.

And then going through the tepid waters of modern college life, the young man just kept doing stupid things, with stupid people. When suddenly...G-G-G-GHOSTS! There was no explanation of anything worthwhile, and no real answers were given at all. It was hollow, barely enjoyable, and thus warrants an average 5/10 rating at best. Please dont pay full price for this or any modern flicks. Just let the tattered, decrepit, rotting corpse of hollywood and movie theatres pass away once and for all. In an age where most arcades, and most all video rental stores are gone, movie theatres will eventually be next. And heres more proof as to why. RIP.

Crimes of the Future (2022)

More Disappointed than Painless Peoples

[5/10 · 9 August 2023]

And that really seems to be part of the theme, and major part: People can no longer feel pain.

At least not under normal circumstances. This tends to also raise the question of hether or not people can feel any sensation, whether pleasurable or otherwise Folks seem to be evolving in a very inefficient, uncontrollable and laughable way, and its clearly got some people freaked out.

But in a world where sensation is the sense are dulled, people are going to great lengths just to experience something..ANYTHING that makes them feel alive.

Sexual intercourse also seems ot have gone the way of the dogs, which might indeed indicate that people have indeed stopped feeling most everything, good and bad, in this possible future.

HUman beings seem to still be dextrous enough to function day to day, and even perform questionably complex "procedures" for the sake of entertaining the vapid and hollow masses that need more and more. Everything around from buildings to streets and houses have fallen into disrepair. And the films narrative claims its because nobody feels pain, so theres no need ot be careful; but that this has also created a dangerous world. We were shown zero or the implicit dangers beyond those people partake of themselves. The worst hting mentioned was how nobody washes thei hands anymore. Nobody. YEt are there still infectious diseases? People just cut each other in the street like they are openly partaking in some taboo act that was once frowned upon like having sex in the open, or taking drugs for all the world to see.

The movie seems to want to be taken seriously, but it goes overboard with an ironic over saturation of often unstimulating event sequences. In between all the bland and boring dialogue, eventually hteres what people came for: THe VISCERAL NItty Gritty.

Maybe Cronenberg is trying to show us that humanity in real life has been vapid for a very long time, as every genre and story and various plot devices have all been done in most every way possible already, yet we still seek new experiences. People still seek out movies and stil go to the cinema pointlessly, even though streaming will kill movie theaters just like it killd video renal places. Buttloads of ever similar video games that are more like interactive films keep getting spoonfed to the masses till they go broke monetarily and mentally. And you can just download stuff instead of buy physical media, which also killed most arcades in a lot of places.

YEt here we are...attempting to cast jdgment on people that literally miss the feelings that they once took for granted. Just like we do in real life. We hid from experiences that are mundane and simple, such as outdoor excurions or other activities for fear of harm, injury or death. YEt we came to see it done" Fictionally" by Cronenber. Another arguable testament to his ability to horrify but grip viewers, while still not learning how to properly and smoothly, satisfactorily transition from scene to scene in a film. HE got lucky with the original "Fly" film, and "Scanners" was ok, as were some of his other stuff. Sadly after looking forward to a movie that I wondered at the possibilities of, it only took some "risks" here and there. ANd despite having fairly attractive Lea Sedoux's nake body in another movie, which was as always most pleasing to the eyes, it felt as forced as when two other chicks in the film just up and got naked for no real reason.

The movie was more of a miss than a hit, but it still made its point about calling out the human race.

Reminds me of the futurist "Dark Space Elves" from Warhammer 40,000; aka the Dark Eldar or whatever they are called nowadays. They had a galaxy sprawling civilization for millions of years that fell into sloth and avarice, partaking in the wors mortal crimes imaginable and hten some, until it destroyed most all of them after generations of unbridled hedonistic gore fests and sensory indulgences beyond reasoning. BUt it all had to start somewhere. And this movie almost gives us a glimpse of a "What If" scenario for the world, just a few years from now.

With Viggo Mortenson looking like the main villain from the original Bladerunner film roflolmfao *smfh.

5/10, not for the squemish, and had one part that was a bit tasteless and might be easily offensive to just about anyone. I know Icertainly could have done without seeing...what was one of the last scenes. So pointless overall and the wrid organic tecj made me laugh too often. DONT SEE WITH KIDS OR FAMILY! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Just avoid tbh. Oh and remember to recycle and be green friendly, that was also somehow a message...kinda...blah blah blah. :P BE well lol.

Izzy's Quest for Olympic Gold (1995 TV Short)

A Quaint Slice of Nostalgia

[5/10 · 3 August 2023]

First I want to say that anyone can look this short cartoon up on youtube, as it was uploaded in late 2020 and is still up.

Also its weird that even though nobody else. Seems to have rated and/or left a review of this due it it once being considered "Lost Media", its been up on YT for a while. SO no excuses! Go watch it :p

I recall seeing this before the same named game and titular character would be used to excite kids and people for the 1996 Atlanta Summer Olympic Games. I recall this special when it was on tv back in the day on TNT's "TNT TOONS" block that aired at various times of the day and weekend. That truly was the last real age of western cartoons. This even played on a Sunday morning at one point. The details are in the youtube video.. I All the struggles, athleticism, coming of age, hopes, dreams...this cartoon was pretty nice tbh.

Tt was not only nice to be reminded of this, let alone find it, but the uploader on youtube also kept in all the 90's commercials. Pure nostalgia. And its funny seeing the ancient Greek motiffsused as little more than a background plot device for the lands the "Whatizits" live in. Lol

Now its not the best cartoon, but it sticks to its intended purpose of being about exercise, sportsmanship, and all the other goodly qualities associated with an Olympian athlete. So of course they used much of the plot, or ideas of the cartoon, for the sake of a video game about the same kinds of things.

And it was entertaining, even to rewatch it o many decades later. But it was tantamount to a pilot run. I feel like the character should have been given another shot, but people back in the 1990s were so negative towards the look of the character, they missed the whole point... IT WAS FOR KIDS and to ENCOURAGE KIDS TO BE ATHLETIC and SPORTING!

For all that I loved so much media from before hte year 2000, and the lives much of the western world lived back then, this cartoon was just a passing fancy, and you wont miss out terribly if you dont watch it. I give it 5.5 stars out of 10.

AS I said before, the commercials are a big reason why I watched it. But give it a chance, you might end up being very pleased. REACH FOR THEM STARS, YALL! PE@CE ^<^

Rumor Has It... (2005)

A Terrible and Pathetic Film About Cheating and How its Ok

[2/10 · 22 April 2023]

This was one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life. And I have seen enough as it is.

But I dont mean the quality of the film used, or the techniques and look of the movies scenes were bad, nor did the movie use low grade actors. And perhaps that is whats most disappoint. I would expect a pathetic excuse for a romance story with excuses for cheating on ones fiancee to be something more akin to a "B" or "C" grade low budget project.

THis film just got more deplorable at the spiritual and intellectual level as time went on. And I could see it happening in the moment, to muy dismay.

I could give spoilers on how two of the characters are both deviants without a shred of self control, or how the male fiancee of the lead character is both a push over and an utter fool ( because its people like them that, in real life give rise to an acceptable precedant for infidelity). None of the characters, their lives or choices were commendable, worth emulating or even taking into considertation. If anything, this crummy movie might be used, at the most, as a cautionary tale to show to young adults toteach them to make better life choices by doing the OPPOSITE of what the films protagonist did.

Obviously its not enough to just teach STEM subjects in high school or college, there should of course be much more room for critical thinking on the negative effects that cheating, lack of control over ones urges, and the importance of staying true; to both ones word, but also to the commitments people claim to adhere to every day. 2/10 for this garbage movie. Too much of it was tragically realistic, yet in the end it ironically took a detour through "La LA LAnd", somehow trying to erase all the wrongs that happened from our minds, just so we could sympathize with the female lead character. Pfft...trash.

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)

Welp...The Cats Out of The Bag...But with Bad CGI Somtimes

[6/10 · 12 April 2023]

So yah...as the title blatantly states, the movie was PEPPERED...kitty LITTERED...with poor cgi at times.

It almost through me for a loop as for the most part from the beginning onward for a while the movie was in modern, pretty crisp and swanky looking cgi...WHE SUDDENLY BAM! Cell shaded crummy effects begin.

I cant tell if thye honestly thought most people wouldnt be able to tell the difference, or if the studio actually believed it would supposedly seem more dynamic and like a comic books action sequence...or if the studio just got cheap. But it was no bueno.

Every time there was action...the quality dropped, especially for the framerate. It was a the point that the movements of characters at times was so noticeably halted that I thoguht I was watching stop motion. And not good stop motion either, like og Wallace and Grommet.

Still though, the overall tale was enjoyable, and I had some laughs. Great to see the same voice ators for the two main characters come back. And then the dude that plays Guillermo in What We Do In THe Shadows does the voice of the adorable lil new friend, Perrito in the new Puss and Boots adventure...it was hard to fully hate it all at times. But all things that begin have an end, and the movie was still worth the watch.

Still was peppered with the same emasculating, quasi veiled man hating rhetoric of "Dont try to be a hero" or almost trying to convince men not to seek "adventure" form some perspectives..but if ya want some laughs, this was decent enough. Bit more swearing in it than I ever heard in any of the other Puss n Boots or Shrek films. They said Hell at least once if not twice, and had almost a dozen of the classic "bleeped" swear words, though that was for comical effect only. But wow...whole movie slid by with a 6/10...and that ending...Worth the wait MWHAHAHA :P.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Two Directors and No Professional VFX Artists...Telling

[3/10 · 25 March 2023]

I know, I know...this was yet another film that was aboard the "hype train" in recent times, and it got all these awards and blah blah blah...

Well Too bad, folks. This film was a nightmare.

It began with the most drawn out, boring, monotonous and headache inducing drivel I have seen in an art form in YEARS. I was honestly in pain trying to watch thing and after 35 minutes, my family and I gave up. What a mess this was.

At least its nice that James Hong is still around, cause hes cool, and of course the main actress used to be in tons of martial arts movies, so she WAS cool. But this film was a dud and unworth continuing a third of the way through. Avoid at all costs unless you are heavily medicated or intoxicated. Which, im sure, this film is geared towards folks under the influence. Many films are.

House of Fears (2007)

An Ok Film with an Amazing Set

[5/10 · 1 March 2023]

It sucks that imdb forces people to have to use 600 characters these days, despite the fact that some reviewers can leave a single sentence and their review is allowed to be posted. Maybe they pay for some premium membership, I cannot say.

But aside from my complaint about that, which in a way is helping me to satisfy the vapid IMDB need for 600 character reviews, as I stated in the title : THE MOVIE was JUST ok at times, but the set stole the show. It wasnt anything truly spectacular. It was just extensive. Either they shot in a number of locales or in one big studio lot. Or maybe they went to actual funhouses. They pulled a lot of strings and the quality of the film with its lighting and all was fairly good. It was just missing something to make it more palpable, including better acting. 5/10.

Nothing Lasts Forever (2022)

A Truthful Look at The Cost of Love in the Modern Age

[7/10 · 24 February 2023]

Diamonds are Forever. Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend. Blah blah blah.

People have been spoon fed this kinda nonsense since before the world wars, but this documentary paints the picture that its only been in roughly the last 100 years that people have believed that a diamond ring is a MUST in order for love to exist.

Think about all the times a person grew up, fell in love, got married, had kids, "settled down" and their life just was fullfilled. Yet at any point in those same lives and the lives of just about anyone and EVERYONE you or I have known thats been married or engaged, the question of if and when a diamond ring is gonna be brought to the table is never far from the lips of somebody in the mix. Going back even to some peoples grandparents and great grand parents proposing nad tying the knot, since roughly after the First World War, people in the west have been sold, brainwashed, and lied to about the necessity of having a diamond ring in order to show ones love to a potential future spouse and mate.

The film also suggests that the notion of romantic love is also relatively new, having only existed for 150 years. That pat I find quesitonable given the fact that humans have just about always had the same emotional capacity as we have now. Yet even thousands of years ago, there were traditions to endear a man to a woman and her family if he wanted to marry her. Love always comes first, but the real issue is that so long as society has existed, there have been people that have said that love is not enough, and that loyalty and fidelity and support of your spouse and the children yall will have is not enough...So what else ya got? But who is at fault? Even throughout all the ages and eras of courtship around the world, and even with certain animals in the wild, the male has to do more than show off or be good at the courtship ritual. They have to at times provide a shiny pebble, or bauble, or something extra.

But we are not just base animals, right? Surely the even if nature makes lower creatures go through the ringer like that, it cannot be the same for what men are put through for women, right? So who is at fault?

This film literally points the finger and has testimonials form people within the industry and gives brief timelines, first hand accounts and drops truth bombs about how foolish our notions of value placed upon objects really is. And it makes sense. Love should always be primary. Thats the key that unlocks the door. Its the fuel for the fire of true romance. Anything that is gold or silver or diamond should not even be second, it should be tertiary (third) at best. And even though synthetic diamonds have been made since the late 1940s apparently, and theres literal impact craters in Russia and countless veins that lead to tons of diamonds found, people fuss over whether something is natural or man made?

This is a very straight forward and to the point documentary about all that and a bit more. And folks, really take this stuff to heart, because nobody should have to prove their love by spending tens of thousands on a hunk of rock or metal. Open thine eyes people, and find real romance. TRY!

Otherwise, just go marry some inanimate object if its so much more important than true affection from another human being; theres way too many folks already "shacking up" with "adult toys" in place of actual relationships, which says alot about a deeper problem thats been developing for many years in our species: Lack of Reasoning. Be well yall.

A Quiet Place Part II (2020)

Better Than the First

[5/10 · 21 February 2023]

I hate the first film. It just was lame. Painful and barely laughable at times.

Somehow this second films was better, but not by much. It was just something to watch.

The entire premise is a bit weird, but at the very least its still nice to see folks making some random monster movies. The acting was more polished this time around, and there were more well known actors in this movie than the previous one. I would have preferred to see much more of what was happening with other survivors out in the world, but whatever... It was as good as it could possibly be.

5/10 score for this, and ya just know there will be a third because people drool over just about anything new in these boring and nutty times.

Killer Sofa (2019)

For a C Grade Horror Film...This was kinda Cool.

[5/10 · 21 January 2023]

I had wanted to see this for over a year or two, and as much as I enjoy the B grade and even lower C grade flicks, this was one I was actually impressed by.

There were actually practical effects which were not too bad, and makes me wonder how much of a budget this film had at its disposal. Obviously it wasnt a million dollars, but even a third of that would make sense for this.

The couch that becomes possessed was the ultimate draw: something so innocuous, so comfy, so unassuming...with evil within that is LOOMING :P lol.

This was of course still supremely cheesy, but somehow it worked. If you can get passed the sometimes hard Aussie accents, its somewhat enjoyable. Enjoy with a tall drink.

The Menu (2022)

Left Me Hungry...But Not For More

[5/10 · 10 January 2023]

The movies was not bad.

In fact much of the time I was fairly engrossed in what was happening, but mostly due to me expecting certain actions or outcomes. I was constantly being taken out of sorts because the film kept failing to suspend my disbelief, and for a film about the sins that customers and people due that can send a cook into kamikaze mode...when a movie disillusions a person, that movie has failed at its own purpose.

But again, I was engrossed and tried to pay attention to every detail, including the odd meal choices, the ingredients, and the details of the location of the film.

But yet EVERYTIME I was getting drawn in, something was a bit too lame or not clever enough. And then WHAM...something hit just right. Maybe this was all intentional and the director actually had all this planned, as a part of our viewing "menu". One thing that certainly seemed planned, although poorly, was the font size when a meal and its ingredients were shown on the screen. It was hard to read and not kept on screen for very long. So just like in some restaurants that must expect customers to bring magnifying glasses, this film strained both my eyes and my patience.

Anya Taylor Joy and Ralph Feines were the main pulls of this film, which is sad because I really wish John Leguizamo would have pulled more punches, literally and figuratively, with his age old brand of humor.

I almost got hungry because of the meals served, it it got weird too fast. And this was in no way a horror film. It was a thriller at most, and I hate how often people foolishly mislabel films and shows.

The movie was ok, but watch while eating or after a really filling meal. OR not, whatever have a drink instead lol.

Alas...I was left wanting more.

Spirited (2022)

A Spirited Hot Mess...Good Afternoon!

[5/10 · 28 December 2022]

I pointed out to my family at more than one point that this movie and most of its bright lights and random singing and dancing and nonsense was what itsl ike within my mind...aka the mind of somebody with extreme ADHD.

And thats the good part of the film. Not all the singing, just the commentary we were making.

The film itself was a headache. A giant mess of a train derailment that was nonstop ridiculous, nonsensical and not in a cute way, and was putting me to sleep.

SOme parts were okay, hence my 5/10 rating, but I expected a lot more. IT was too all over the place, and it honeslty wasted 2 hours of our time at home so much, that it brought bad vibes into the home afterwards. The movie was lame. Case closed. GOOD AFTERNOON. * SMFH *

Black Adam (2022)

That was a JOYLESS Waste of Time

[5/10 · 20 December 2022]

I know I sound like a boomer for saying this, but the high age of entertainment for all things including comics, collectibles, video games, tv AND especially movies has passed us. It began to fizzle out by the 2010s, during which it was easier and easier to tell which movies would be flops versus those few films or franchises that would be very successful. Though, considering how many crummy films are put out by "hollywood" and its foreign counterparts, its no wonder why some things get so much more accolades. Were the MCU films really masterpieces? No...same with the DCU films, which wre even less successful ( ngl MCU films were good, some were even really good, but no gems anywhere in sight).

Flash forward to DC still hobbling along for another win despite thefact that it had to literally redo the Justice LEague film, stretching it out to almost 4 hours by some metrics. And it ended up being the BEST film of the modern DCU film verse...And though good, this version shouldnt have been needed.

Black Adam, on the other hand, should not have been made.

Its one thing for people to try and cheer on the underdog, but another when the literal villains that are on the Suicide Squad have been getting so much hype and adoration. I liked the films, but I still remembered they were comprised of villainous casts of rogues rom many galleries. Black Adam is the same thing, but now they are twisting things to make him an "anti hero" type like Riddick, basically giving this once terrible foe of Shazam and Superman the "Maleficent" treatment.

BAH I say.

The acting in this film was atrocious, especially from " THe Rock", whom played a character that should have remained within literal stone .

BUt noooo, just another reason to poorly veil violence in a seemingly middle eastern provence and city where the "heroes" can let loose.

I got some vibes from the new version of Hawkman too like I was watching The Black Panther, so that was..interesting. BUt the dialogue pacing, and overal script was bad. At most I give this a 5/10 because Dwayne "THe ROCK" Johnson is in it, and its ironic to me that its been virtually 20 something years since the last movie in the desert he came out in that began his career..."The Mummy 2". Which was then followed by The Scorpion King, his first FULL FEature film. And right on the tail end of Henry Cavill getting the boot as Superman AND The Witcher? Pfft...Game Over DC. Ya mesed up. GIVE THIS A SNYDER CUT FFS!

Under the Skin (I) (2013)

For Fun and Giggles, lets just...Whatevs Enjoy or Dont *shrugs *

[5/10 · 29 November 2022]

SPOILERS or what have oyu, whom cares...heres my two cents about nothing at all.

Scarjo plays an extraterrestrial being which is tantamount to a humanoid black widow. I really hope there were jokes behind the scenes considering all the years ScarJo has played the eponymous MArvel character of the exact same name, but I might be giving the olks behind this film too much credit. * shrugs *

Scarjo is either an out of touch with reality alien, or more than likely "she" and the "men" on bikes are all drones being used to carry out a harvesting mission of us human beings. And how? By way of finding, stalking, and seducing and luring lone men to their literal dooms.

To a seemingly black room that appears in various places, or mayhaps there are more than one "processing facility", there must be some kind of spacial augmenting technology being used or my name isnt Captain Blah Blah Blah. The guys apparently get left to bloat up so their skin is easier to be opened like lobsters in a tank at a restaurant, waiting to have some hungry alien point and say "Ohhh, that one looks scrummy!".

And then all the bones and organs are mulched up and either refined into amino acid guac for the hungry little E. T.s somewhere in a galaxy far far away. And then the drones don the skin suits, blend in, and continue the process. There must be male drones doing the same thing that ScarJo is, but more than likely it wasnt as effective as an outwardly attractive female attempting to be just as unassumingly shady. And it really seems like the "Lady" especially is some kind of artificial being for so many reasons, but "she" eventually begins to take the time, enjoy the world and things in it, and somehow develop empathy...BAD A. I. lol Clearly the bikers dont like this and begin the follow her more closely, looking for defects or whatever to increase her "harvesting/profit margins" and then let her get back to work. They are honestly like pimps in the truest sense of the word in "The Skin Game". And underneath the skin, there are monsters.

Looks can be deceiving, and that seems to be the real other side of the coin for the meaning behind the films title. Not just what IS under there for the predator "lady", but also what they seem to be after in humans...Flesh, proteins, etc. We honestly seem to be like cattle to them, and though this is somewhat less...bracing at first than the stereotypical alien abduction, its still kinda telling that the offworld farmers went to Scotland of all places to "harvest the crop".

Are they trying to say things about the quality of Scottish men or people in general? Why not in Germany? Were the laws for picking up hitchikers less present North of England than elsewhere? Because apparently some of the men were REAL dudes that thoguht Scarjo was a real lost lady, picking them up. Talk about entrapment and getting poor average dudes' hopes up lol :P.

Yet still the drone alien she thing keeps harvesting, only stopping out of pity for a manchild with tumors all over his face. Pity, and remorse more than compassion, but maybe "she" was going to be dismantled or decommissioned after enough human matter was collected, and so she might have really found empathy with the pitiable man whom was also stuck in a confined life of solitude and hopelessness.

Do I feel bad for ScarJo after all the peoples she killed? Nope. There was even a time before her epiphany where she was about to prey on a nice lonely traveler, when suddenly he tried to help a couple drowning in the ocean. The couple tried to save a dog and left their INFANT baby on the rocky beach, then when the exhausted swimmer failed to keep at least the man ashore and alive, he collapsed. And Scarjo walked up, looked around, and brained him with a rock. Dragged him to the van to be mulched, and left...the little baby to starve and freeze to death. THen the biker came and cleaned up the clothes and remnants by the swimmer as was the way to clean up after every victim, and the biker ALSO left the baby. Didnt even have the decency to mulch the kid and put the poor child out of its misery or kill it. Nope, just " Oh poor baby animal. We shouldnt touch the human thing, let natur take its course" OR wtf? So what if its not just about the amino acids and proteins. What if these beings are trying to infiltrate Humanity, maybe even getting into the highest echelons of power. IF they are only so powerful that they have to go through such a farce to get human skin for new birthday suits, then perhaps the aliens are not powerful enough for a direct show of force. NO need to take over with tons of space ray guns blazing, just let a drone,likely one of many all over the world at the same time, give countless men blueballs only to make hot soup of their innards and wear their skin...to...climb the social political ladder?

ONE guess is as good as another tbh. This film was just...painful to watch at times. Interesting sometimes, but...ugh.

Eventually the "lady" gives up and wanders about aimlessly, maybe developing real emotions. Maybe they are not a total drone, bu part of a dying race attempting to reconnect to long lost emotions and "soul", living within our literal feet and shoes to try and feel something...ANYTHING perhaps. Maybe "they" are not consuming our dna and blood, but examining it to see why young humanoids have so much more in the earliest stages of development. Perhaps the aliens are trying to find the "fountain of youth" for their dying, old ass hyper ancient species.

So Scarjo wanders and finds a nice dude, but though he was ok for asking if she needed help and gave her a place to stay and food, he should have called the cops right away to let them know somebody was lost or needed help. People are lonely and desperate, not just men but women do all sorts of things too. Its no excuse, just simply cause and effect that leads people all sorts of reasoning and choices. But the dude should have done better.

He attempts to eventually make love to "the lady" when she offers to kiss the poor lonely sad sack, only for "her" to find out "shes" really not much of a "her" at all, looking down and finding no vagina for them to create "congress". And she gets deflated and wanders away. I couldnt tell if I was supposed to laugh or not, but I did. IT was bizarrely funny and the director knows it. The thing wanders nto the woods where an slightly overly friendly logger gives her directions, but when the creature bed downs somewhere, they awake to the same logger having followed them and begin trying to force themselves upon " her". Another bad choice by a dude, but honestly the only real bad one in the film out of all the guys Scarjo's alien drone character encountered. And the director must have shown us this because of the irony of the "alien lady" having the roles reveresed, going from predator and deceivier and killer, to being the victim. The "lady" was now experiencing everything those they preyed upon must have felt: Fear, isolation, loneliness, hopelessness.

Now the question arises... Are we, the viewers meant to feel bad for this murderous alien being? This film is not a metaphor, they are literally some other type of creature masquerading as as human to hunt and harvest humans. Doesnt make the attempted assault right, not at all. But I also dont feel for serial killers when they themselves get the same punishment they put their victims through. So perhaps the director meant for us to have a moral dilemma.

Its like how theres still viewable executions in some states. People walked in, after dressing nicely for the occasion, sit quietly and literally get to see somebody put to death like a bizarrely detached modern wild west execution. Should we feel for those that commit the worst crimes when they are about to be put to the axe? For all that woe they caused and the suffering they are about to go through, I say yes...all of that. The sick twisted game fate plays in this life of making some people men and some monsters ( and the same goes for women and nin binary folks too. Not everyone is a saint obviously).

And so after hampering the assaulters' efforts, ScarJo runs into the woods again, only to be caught and have their skin hoodie pulled apart at the seems to reveal a super dark, viscious coated skin with next to no hair except on the right shoulder ( from the skin suit or...I dunno). The jerky logger guy is taken aback, runs to his vehicle, comes back as "the lady" is examining their skin suit, the face of which is literally animated and staring back, blinking even into the soulless hollow eyes of the drone...and then the logger douses "her" with gasoline/petrol as they call it in the UK and lights them aflame.

THey wander and burn up, feeling so much, almost like a fitting end to this "murderess of men", yet still...we feel sadness.

The bijer is looking for the drone with others of the same likely skin donning type. And once again I wonde if this is all like Sucker Punch, and the woman really is an abused prostitute or somebody lost in the skin trade of human trafficking, and the biker dudes are the literal pimps and handlers. I have that thought for a moment, but then immediately remember that they were in fact non human, harvesting people, and the move literally begins with their eyes being formed , either artificially or from the skin of some woman they also entrapped and "harvested".

The movie ends with the smoldering remains of the once predatory and heartless creature turned into somehow empathetic "poor nice lady", and the biker is just looking for them I suppose. Staring off into the cold snowy distance...perhaps about to embark upon a similar emotional rollercoaster of change that these arguably faulty "drones" or robot or androids, or genetically engineered worker bees seem to go through too often. Theres much more than meets the eye going on...Under The Skin.

Still seems about aliens to me, so whatever. 5.5/10 See it yourself or dont. Meh :p.

Damsel (I) (2018)

An Unusual Western with Comedy Spattered About Sloppily

[5/10 · 28 November 2022]

I still do not understand why some folks can get away with a single paragraph review, and the rest of us must write at least 600 words before we can post our own.

Much like how the film Damsel has comedy all over the place, yet it really tries to cram it in in both unexpected and expected places.

The average film is going to be predictable to a certain degree these days, but even though that is the case, the ridiculous moments of hilarity in this film through my family and I for a loop.

"What is this random film?" I would shout.

I often thought this was directed by the Cohen ( Coen?) Brothers, but the timing was a bit too off most of the time. THe whole movie just could not decide if it really was a comedy or a pure western. Very arthousey therefore, and worth a watch if you are bored. Just dont expect too much. Some laughs may ensue. YOu are welcome for a nonsensical revies lol.

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: The Outside (2022) Season 1, Episode 4

Boring and Unoriginal

[4/10 · 2 November 2022]

I have seen that weird big eyed gal in all kinds of shows and films, and she always gets typecast as the socially awkward outsider. Which to her is fine since it gets her acting work. But even the premise of trying to improve ones self with products from infomercials and the drol stylizing of " Oh do I look good to fit into the pecking order? O LOOK AT me me ME" is played out.

Whom cares? I suppose I wrongly assumed that there would be actual horror throughout a show directed by Del Toro, but its evident that he doesnt direct the episodes, but does have a hand in the writing of most of them. That being said, he missed the mark here. All the episodes up till this point at least had some true element of horror to them, sometimes really well done, but so far this is the lamest and most disappointing of the episodes, and it did not even have a satisfying ending. As I said before, it was drol, and its been done before exactly like this with different shows and comic books and tales leading to only one of a number of endings. This episode however, took the lame way out, and there was no satisfying closure. 4/10.

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: Lot 36 (2022) Season 1, Episode 1

Starte Rough but Ended Great

[7/10 · 1 November 2022]

Theres that good ol fashioned wotk Del Toro is so known for. The look of things, the feel. Its like I am rewatching the first Hellboy film with Ron PEarlman all over again in some ways. SLight ways.

But if this episode is any indicator of the kind of entertaining, and immersive stuff that I grew up with, like Tales From the Crypt, then I am all for it.

One thing is that I really wish this had been made into a full movie, or a tv series on its own regarding the subject matter. So many try to make movies about this subject matter, but they get ruined wiht cheap jump scares, tacky "thrills", and not much substance. The latter half of this episode was more enjoyable than most horror movies ever made tbh. At least better than a third or more by far ) ELts be real, theres tons of B grade, C grade, and yes D grade horor films that have been made). Good job DEL TORO!